I Can't Hear Your Screams Anymore

HI! So I was watching The Impossible Astronaut for about the hundredth time the other night, and I just wondered what the Doctor was thinking as he walked towards that Astronaut that was going to kill him. He seemed to know what was going on so as every other good fangirl would do, I wrote a FanFic about it! I'm not used to writing really depressing stuff and I hope to have more fluffy stuff later! (This will mainly be TenxRose stuff.) Anyways, I'm going to stop rambling on now and let you read. I hope you enjoy my take on the Doctor's death scene. Oh and the title for this story came from a verse of an Evanescence song called "The Last Song I'm Wasting on You." Warning: SPOILERS!

From the moment Amy forgot what she was looking at, I knew my time had come. From the very second the words, "Who's that?" passed her lips, an overwhelming feeling of dread gripped my two hearts and my breath slowly caught in my throat. I absolutely refused to turn around and look where Amy's gaze was pointed; I would have forgotten what I would see anyways so what was the point? I breathed out slowly and looked at my ginger companion with faintly quizzical eyes, but remained silent. I tried to concentrate on the bitter taste the wine had left in my mouth, however horrid it may be.

"Hmmmm? Who's who?" Rory asked his wife, gazing up at her from his position on the ground.

Amy hadn't looked away from the thing but turned to Rory when she heard his voice. I remember watching the memory leave her face, like I knew it would. "Sorry, what?" Amy asked, taking a sip of her wine from her glass.

"What did you see? You said you saw someone."

"No I didn't." Amy placed her glass down onto the blanket and started to look at her husband like he had lost his marbles.

I quickly averted the subject of Amy's sanity and turned the conversation to the first thing I could think of. "Ahhhhh, the moon. Look at it!" I did not mean to say that. I did not mean to say that at all. Of all the things that could have come out of my mouth, the topic of the moon just blurted out. I quickly decided to just roll with it and he words just slipped off my tongue. "Of course you lot did a lot more than look didn't you; big silvery thing in the sky, you couldn't resist it. Quite right, hmmm?"

"The moon landing was in '69." Rory piped up. "Is that where we're going?"

Oh how I wished it could have been that simple. If it were that easy, I wouldn't have to leave my lot with heartache and the sour pang of loss. If it were that simple, I wouldn't be feeling the gut wrenching pang of guilt, knowing that Amy would be dying inside because of her grief. Oh no, if it were that simple… well… I wouldn't have to die. My death was approaching; there was no doubt about it. I tried to stay relaxed by being around the people I cared most about but I knew it would only hurt them in the long run. I want to stay and be there and protect them. I don't want to die.

I stare straight ahead and let no emotion through my eyes or my voice. I've tried to sound as emotionless as a Dalek, but that was just a load of rubbish. "A lot more happens in '69 then anyone remembers. Human beings…" I allow a faint smile to trace my lips. I let my gaze wonder and I end up staring at a random place on the blanket we're all on. "I thought I'd never get done saving you."

From the corner of my eye, I see the corner of Amy's mouth twist up into a faint smile as she looks at me. I don't want to hurt her. I don't want her to be upset. I wish I could tell her that I'd be okay, but I just can't. As River would say, that would contain too many "spoilers" and the laws of the universe seem to go against it.

The sound of tires running on sand grabs my attention and I slowly stand to my feet. Reality has finally caught up with me. 'Oh God, not yet. Please not yet!' my mind pleads. I see Amy, Rory, and River all have questioning looks on their faces as they watch the mysterious driver get out of his black pick-up truck and stand beside it. I stand from my position on the ground and raise a hand to wave at the man. He waves back. "Did he bring what I asked him to?" I wonder. "If things don't go well, I could be putting my friends into danger beyond imaginable. I haven't seen him in years… Can he still be trusted? Wow… somebody's gotten old… Canton please don't let me down. Please…" I let my hand drop lifelessly to my side as I feel the oh too familiar sting of fear claw at me. It feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and for once, I actually feel my age. My body is weak and I know the clock is ticking. The disgusting wine bottle is still in my grasp.

"Who's he?" Amy's voice is purely curious as she looks at the man.

"Oh my God…" River's shocked voice comes from beside me as I slowly turn. Amy and Rory hop up from the ground to look at what we see.

There's a Spaceman in the water. I can hear its breathing all the way to where we're standing. "You all need to stay back." I command to my companions as begin to step away. "Whatever happens now, you do not interfere." I'm doing a good job keeping my voice from breaking even though my hearts are about to jump out of my chest. I turn to my companions, knowing this is one of the last time's I'll ever see them up close. Amy has moved and is standing closer to me, a look of pure confusion and fear in her face. She meets my eyes and I can tell she can see the small tears forming. "Clear?" I turn my back on my companions for the last time. I feel as though I can barely walk. Step after step I drag on, growing closer and closer to my doom.

The time is takes me to get to the Spaceman seems like an eternity and I take that eternity to engrave my friends into my mind. I first think of Rory. Rory Williams, the boy who waited. 2,000 years to be exact. I don't know him as well as I should, but I liked him because of the way he treated Amy. He loved her with every fiber of his being and was never afraid to let her know that. He would take a bullet for her in a heartbeat. I know they'll be happy together.

Next comes River. Doctor River Song… So many questions bubble around in my brain. She knows my future and we're supposed have had so many great adventures together. I guess that dream is shattered. Time never works like it should. I like River, I really do, but to what extent? Do I really love her? I guess I'll never figure that out now, seeing as I'm walking to my doom.

Last and certainly not least, I think of Amy. The girl who didn't make any sense. My wonderfully impossible and mad Amelia Pond; the girl who waited all night for me to return. She sat in that bloody garden all night, waiting for her Raggedy Doctor to come back for her and whisk her away on some completely insane yet magical adventure. He said five minutes. She waited twelve years before she saw him again. Or as Amy said, "12 years and four psychiatrists!" When I had asked why she needed so many psychiatrists, she replied, "I kept biting them..." When I had asked why she bit them, she simply said, "They said you weren't real." She kept biting them because they ceased to believe I existed. I felt a small smile curve across my lips and the Astronaut in front of me became blurry from newborn tears. An image of little Pond clamping her teeth on a grown man's arm on my behalf came into my mind. Honestly, I knew I loved her, but I loved her more along the lines of a sister and a best friend. Like all my past companions, Amy had engraved a special place in one of my two hearts.

"Goodbye, sweet Pond," I whispered to no one. I felt five pairs of eyes burying into my flesh; Amy's, Rory's, River's, Canton's, and the Astronaut's eyes all stared me down and I felt my hearts thudding against my chest. My mind was screaming at me. "Forget it! Leave! Run you bloody idiot! RUN!" No… I've been running long enough now. I'm done running. I'm done running from the consequences that my actions have caused. I'm done running from the pain and suffering that's happened because of me. I'm done with cheating death and having innocent people die on my behalf. It's time to stop. Finally… I'm ready to stop. Death is knocking on my door and this time, I'm answering.

I stood in front of the newcomer from the water and calmly spoke aloud. "Hello. It's okay, I know it's you." A gloved hand reached up and pulled back the dark mask that hid the identity of the Astronaut. I came face to face with a pair of eyes I thought I would never see again. "Well then…" I murmured, taking the situation in. I take a breath. "You know what I'm going to ask you." I paused to swallow the growing lump in my throat. With a shaking breath, I look directly into the eyes of the Astronaut and say, "Kill me. It's the only way to save them. Please." I let my hands dangle at my sides and hang my head. I shift my gaze from my duty-bound executioner to the sand at my feet. I wait. From my peripheral vision, I see a gloved hand rise and point at me. The rhythm of my hearts kept time. One. Two. Three.

BAMM!

I was forced onto the ground by the force of the blow.

"DOCTOR!"

No Amy, please stay back! I mentally yelled. I knew she didn't get the message, but I truly needed her to stay away. It was for her own good. I scrambled onto my feet to look like I was trying to put up a fight with my 'killer,' but I knew I couldn't even if I tried. One of my hearts had already stopped and the other was barely hanging on. A couple more strikes ought to do it.

BAMM! Seconds had passed before I was hit again.

"NO AMY! STAY BACK! YOU HAVE TO STAY BACK!" I fell back to the sand and felt a strange feeling over my chest. I felt as if my chest exploded open and intense pain roared through my body. As quickly as it appeared though, the pain was taken away and a sudden warm feeling took its place. My body always died before the regeneration, yet my soul allowed me to stay alive so I could change. Normally my hearts would have started back up and I would have to figure out a new body. The body was disposable; a soul however, is not. I gazed at my now glowing hands and felt the warmth stretch all over my body.

My eyes wandered up and I looked at the faces of my broken companions. If my hearts hadn't already stopped, they would have burst at the sight set before me. Amy looked absolutely destroyed. She stared at me with crushed and petrified eyes while Rory and River struggled to hold her back. Rory was gripping his wife tightly with a confused but very worried look on his face. On Amy's other side stood a completely broken River Song, looking down on me. Her eyes were filled with pain and sorrow and I wished it didn't have to be this way.

"I'm sorry." I whispered as my vision was engulfed in a gold color. I lifted my arms as if I was going to embrace the change that I knew would never come. I tilted my head back and took my last breath.

BAMM!

The world went mute. As my vision slowly went black, I had one last thought. I'm so sorry for this. I know you must be screaming for me now. Just know this… I'll be at peace now. I've just saved your world for about the billionth time now. I know you must be screaming for me now, but you're safe now. And I can't hear your screams anymore.

I hope you enjoyed this story! I've just recently become a fan of Doctor Who, but I've become very obsessed very quickly! I'm thinking about adding another chapter about the Doctor's return from Amy's POV. Please tell me your thoughts in reviews! Reviews are an author's candy!

Serethiel