Recommended listening: The Angel and the Fool by The Broken Bells
Disclaimer: I do not own JN!
Cause' all the love she won't allow
herself to even dream about-
Well, both of us are older now,
and it won't be long.
The early morning siren
Is growing louder now-
cause' waking up is hard enough
when there's no one else around.
A spider crawled lazily across the bike Cindy had haphazardly thrown across the sidewalk. Her ankle stung badly. She'd caught sight of her father's car in the driveway and in the one second that she'd drawn her attention away from the path in front of her, she'd driven her bike into the railing of someone's porch. Wincing, she wondered if it was worth getting up and walking over to her own house. The last time her father's car had been in the driveway, the living room table had been splintered in two, and the glass frames on the wall had shattered beyond repair. The sharp memory of glass shards and harsh profanities came rushing back to her and she shuddered. There was no way in hell she was sticking around for that, she'd learned her lesson the first time.
Unfortunately, it was starting to drizzle outside and the rain felt cold against Cindy's back even though it was mid-summer in Retroville. She shivered in spite of herself and drew herself up to her full height, grimacing in pain. She'd scraped her skin and her foot was bleeding. Walking slowly, she dragged her bike across the street, sneaking it into the shed in the backyard. After a few seconds, she found herself back on the relative safety of the sidewalk again.
If there was ever a household the age old adage, "No one knows what goes on behind closed doors" applied to, it was the Vortex household. From the outside, the Vortex home was a paragon of normality for the neighborhood when you considered the other families living there. A giant Victorian home painted in shades of pink and boasting a beautiful green lawn, it was certainly the best kept. However, like a wilting flower, it was rotting from the inside out.
Cindy shivered again and made her way across the street, where it was presumably even safer. Regrettably, Cindy had almost forgotten that her house was directly across from the Neutron's home. She glanced up at it in all its dinky glory. Their front yard was littered with wooden duck statues and wind chimes shaped like atoms hung from the porch. They swayed in the wind and the smell of warm pie wafted out the drawn red curtains.
Cindy had to fight the tears that suddenly stung her eyes. Why was it fair that two equally intelligent children could live on the same street, minutes away from each other, and one's home life was absolute shit while the other's was practically perfect? Cindy kicked over one of the ducks in frustration, groaning in agony as she remembered she'd just scraped herself.
She sat down in the grass to nurse her throbbing foot. Neutron had everything he could ever want. Scholarships thrown at him from every direction, a set of loving parents, and a list of achievements to rival any high schooler in the country, perhaps the world. He didn't even have to bother with the common application or college supplements or interviews with admissions officers because he'd already gotten offers at every Ivy League, and even job offers at NASA.
Why the hell didn't he just take his junky jet pack and mechanical mutt to Yale then? Why didn't he leave behind this stupid town of otherwise average citizens? Cindy shot a look at the Neutron household once more, and it came to her. She laughed dryly to herself. Of course the boy didn't want to leave, college would wait. He had friends, he had a doting mother and an affectionate father and he probably wanted to milk his time with all of them before he went off to do bigger and better things. Meanwhile Cindy could not bear the thought of another night in this godforsaken town. Although she supposed she might have thought of it differently had she been anyone but a Vortex.
Of course- her throat tightened- she didn't exactly, how did one put it? Want him gone. He had gone away to college once, when they'd been fifth graders. It hadn't been that bad- no, she shook her head, who was she kidding at this point? It had been agonizing. To not walk into Ms. Fowl's classroom and see Neutron's giant head gracing the seat next to hers. To feel Libby's eyes concentrate on her with a detestable sort of pity. Admitting it to herself made her physically sick. She was rocked by his absence. Ergo, she cared for him more than she'd fathomed possible.
From the moment he came back (she'd heard rumors about some douche named Seymour getting Jimmy to go streaking in the hallways of Pomona U and she supposed she both hated the kid and admired him for his deviousness), she'd taken extra care to argue with him about anything and everything if only to feel his hot breath against her face when they butted heads.
After all, how else could she keep his attention? She'd come to terms with the fact she was neither sweet nor acquiescing like Betty Quinlan or Sally. She didn't have it in her to be kind to him-it was so hard to cut him any slack when spite came spilling out of her mind at the very thought of his pretentiousness. It was so hard to be obliging when he was everything she was not, and worse, had everything she did not have.
And yet, she was still disturbingly attracted to this same boy. He was pleasant when unprovoked (and often it was Cindy who provoked him), he was extraordinarily intelligent, and his dazzling blue eyes had caught her attention more times than she could count. It was disgusting, sickening even, how much she secretly mooned over him. She had once reasoned with herself that at the very least he saw her as someone. He had to- or he wouldn't choose to reply to her insults or challenges. For all his grandstanding, it was evident that Neutron had marked only one other person in the whole town worthy of operating at his level of intellectual discourse and debate - Cindy Vortex. This thought alone kept Cindy hopeful- he'd never abandon the only girl worthy of sparring with him academically, right? Despite the fact she bickered and bitched at him like a rabid dog? Despite the fact she pushed him around and tested his patience? Despite the fact she could barely say a single thing to him that didn't sound vindictive? She sighed. Maybe she was being too optimistic. At best, he thought her a jealous rival, and at worst, he probably thought of her as a vengefully nasty brat with a big mouth and a cold heart.
Tears sprung to her eyes again and no matter how much she reminded herself that Vortexes simply did not cry, she couldn't keep them in. Blast it all! Here she was, sitting on his stupid duck infested lawn, with a bloody wound, trying to avoid her absurdly insane sham of a family, and the only thing that brought tears to her eyes was a thick headed boy with an ego the size of Dallas. Figures, she thought, that I have plenty to cry about, but that I'd only cry over him.
It made sense- Neutron was representative of everything wrong with Cindy's life and she hated him for it and it ate away at her. She was a sour apple core, a pile of ash, a nobody. She didn't care if her foot came off, she jumped up and hacked away at all the damn ducks surrounding her.
"Cindy, I knew you were crazed, but vandalism? Really?" A voice sounded from the window above and Cindy reminded herself to jump in a lake after this.
"Shut it Nerdtron, I'm not in the mood for this." She clenched her teeth together. Her foot felt numb now.
He disappeared from his window with a frown and a few minutes later, he came out donning a sweater that bore his signature insignia.
"Dad's not going to be happy about this." He looked at the ducks strewn about in complete disarray and then back at Cindy. "Vortex, want to let me know why you went on a rampage in my front lawn?"
She clenched her fists. "Why do you care?"
"Because normal people don't take their irrational anger out on private property. Simple enough." He stated, looking at her for some sort of explanation. She wasn't telling him anything. She would never give him the satisfaction of knowing why the mere sight of him vexed her beyond belief.
"If I'm not normal, what are you? And my anger isn't irrational you twit."
"It never is." She added under her breath a few seconds later, so quietly she wasn't sure he heard. Her bangs blew across her face and she tucked them behind her ear. He stepped a little closer.
"I mean, what did I ever really do to earn your eternal wrath?" He crossed his arms across his chest.
Cindy scowled. "Oh, try blowing up the town and almost killing us all not once, but a couple hundred times."
"I also saved the town every single one of those times, and my inventions have made life easier for people." He pointed out.
She rolled her eyes. "Whatever Freaktron, just stay out of my way."
She pushed him aside and started to walk down the street but she limped.
He stared after her. "Cindy, are you-err-okay?"
"Gee Neutron, I'm just peachy." She turned around and spat.
Jimmy ignored her sarcasm and his gaze travelled down to her foot.
"Cindy, your foot-"
"Is perfectly fine. I don't need you throwing one of your Neutronic bandages on it. I'd probably have to get my whole leg amputated from the radiation or some crap."
Jimmy ignored this dig. "Cindy- you can't possibly walk around in the rain with your foot-"
"You can't tell me what to do, Neutron." She turned her back to him again but he caught up to her and took her by the arm.
"Let's go to my lab. I promise not to test anything on it, but you should at least clean it and wrap some gauze around it so it doesn't get infected-"
"I told you, I am fine, Neutron." She glared at him with a deep, deep hatred. He wondered why she despised him so.
Was it simply in Vortex's nature to loathe others with a groundless sense of ill will? He ruled out that option immediately, much to his surprise. He'd seen Cindy around Libby and she was an entirely different person. Sure, it was worse when the two of them ganged up on him, but she seemed less stressed, less wound up around Libby. He sighed. Why did she have to be so damn difficult? Why didn't she just take someone's help for once in her life? Why did she have to act all high and mighty all the time?
He wasn't going to fight with her about this. If Vortex wanted to walk around in the rain, and get pneumonia and contract some kind of foot infection, what did it bother him? He didn't care for Cindy Vortex. She was mean and cruel and she had been defacing his Dad's prized ducks after all.
And yet, he felt a sort of pity stir in his blood at the sight of her. Although if he was going to be honest with himself- she stirred more than pity in him. Her striking emerald eyes always stunned him with their perpetual keenness and her slender frame and sloping curves made Jimmy's mouth go dry. Cindy was annoying, hostile, and stubborn, but he was tantalized by her razor sharp mind and beautiful-err-average figure.
He was at his wits end when it came to her and yet it did come to him. He was still holding her arm and she was glowering at him. He looked at her, really looked at her to find the faint outline of tears on her cheeks.
"Please come to the lab, Cindy." He said in as soft a voice as he could muster. He didn't understand it, why he didn't just give up on her and walk away-his logic told him to turn and run, run as far as he could from Cindy Vortex but-
He couldn't shake his feelings. He couldn't shake his fifth grade crush, his inevitable foray into the feminine mystique. There was something there, he had to admit. Something in that pearl he'd gifted her, something in the way their faces got ridiculously close when they fought, something in the way she threw down the gauntlet and he rose to the occasion.
She looked at him for a second, and seemed to seriously contemplate it. Here he was, offering to put aside their ever present feud in the interest of her well being. He was pleading her to come to the lab, where she'd often wanted to go, he was being so nice to her despite her having ruined his lawn and talked to him with nothing but contempt. She bit her lip. Lord knew she wanted to go, to head to a warm, safe place with the boy she-sort of almost-could tolerate- and there she was doing it again, denying to herself that he actually meant the world to her-
"No thanks, Neutron." The words came tumbling out in a bitter tone. Another wasted opportunity, another peace offering thrown down the drain. He let go of her, his face falling visibly. But he knew not to press her. He wouldn't pitch his dignity on a platter for an undeserving ice queen no matter how much his heart implored him to be persistent.
She berated herself as his shadow disappeared down the street and into his house. She hated herself more than she could ever hate him, she realized with a start. She was beyond redemption.