Absolute Love

A/N This story has been buzzing around in my head for a couple of days, so I had to get it down. It has a link with my James and Lily fic, The Alpha and The Omega in the sense that it picks up on some of the themes in that, however, this time I had Remus Lupin and Tonks in mind. I would suggest that you read this and then read The Alpha and The Omega to fully understand where I'm coming from with this, though that isn't vital. This story comes right up to date in the sense that it is set on the night of Dumbledore's death. As ever, please enjoy, read and review.

Disclaimer: I've checked and I'm still not JK, she's still letting me borrow her characters. Nice woman.

CHAPTER ONE: TALKING

Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks made their way back to Grimmauld Place in silence. Neither of them knew why they were going back to that house. It was nothing more than the headquarters for the Order of The Phoenix, and, further back, the Black family's home. Remus smothered a sigh; maybe they both had a connection with the house after all.

The Order of The Phoenix was begun years ago by Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry, who had died….no, not died, Remus mentally corrected himself, Albus Dumbledore was murdered this very night by Severus Snape, Hogwarts Potions Master and former Deatheater.

Remus smothered another sigh as he thought of Sirius Black, who owned this house until his death a year ago. Sirius and Remus were friends at school, who, with James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were the famous Marauders, Hogwarts most renowned pranksters in their time. Remus could still hardly believe that two of the Marauders were dead before the age of forty and another was nothing more than a puppet for Voldemort. James Potter died at the age of twenty one with his wife, the love of his life, Lily Evans. Remus felt a familiar ache around his heart at the thought of his friends. They'd died trying to save their son Harry from Voldemort.

Remus's mind went back to those dark days fifteen years before. He remembered James and Lily going on the run in the year before their deaths, desperately trying to keep their son safe, after all, it was Harry that Voldemort was after.

When their son was fifteen months old the Potters decided they wanted to go home. They needed a Secret Keeper. The Secret Keeper had the secret of where the Potters were placed inside them magically. Once the Secret Keeper held the secret, he would be the only one who had the ability to give the Potters location away to Voldemort. At first the Potters turned to Sirius Black, their most trusted friend – Remus shuddered as he remembered why James had not turned to him for help – but soon a switch took place. Peter Pettigrew became the Potters Secret Keeper, unknown to anyone but James, Lily, Sirius and Pettigrew himself. Then Pettigrew betrayed his friends and James and Lily died. Their son somehow survived the Killing Curse.

Sirius Black, even to this day, was widely believed to have been the betrayer, and ended up in Azkaban prison for twelve years, for the murders of twelve Muggles and his former friend, Peter Pettigrew. Sirius had eventually escaped from Azkaban and the truth came out to those closest to him. Sirius Black was innocent. Peter Pettigrew was the traitor who cost James and Lily their lives, and their son the chance of growing up with his parents. Sirius was just rebuilding a life for himself and establishing a new relationship with Harry Potter, his Godson, when he was murdered by Bellatrix Lestrange, his cousin.

Thinking about Lestrange drew his attention to the young woman walking beside him towards Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. She was Nymphadora Tonks, another cousin of Sirius Black's. Now, as they went inside the house at last, Remus emitted a sigh he couldn't smother. For the umpteenth time that night Molly Weasley's voice was in his head – 'You're taking a ridiculous line on this…' Remus made his way to the living room and poured himself a large drink. He had a feeling this endless night, this night of pain and loss, this night of terrible disclosures, wasn't over yet.

Nymphadora Tonks came through to the living room and watched Remus Lupin standing with his back to her, pouring himself a large glass of firewhiskey. She watched his head, bowed over his task, the streaks of grey in his hair catching the dim light of the room. She watched his thin frame stand upright again as he appeared to take the glass into his hand and put it to his lips. She moved further into the room to stand alongside him, as he put the glass down with a hand that trembled slightly. Stepping towards him just a little, Nymphadora Tonks spoke. 'I didn't know you drank firewhiskey Remus'. Her voice was soft and low in the otherwise silent room.

Remus flinched at the sound of Tonks's voice; it was almost as if she'd slapped him. She took a step back from him, he had clearly forgotten she was there and had started when she spoke. She watched as he turned to face her at last, his grey eyes meeting her dark eyes uncertainly. She sighed, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you'. Remus stared at the young woman and shook his head, 'No, it's all right, you didn't startle me, I was just thinking about everything that happened tonight….about Dumbledore' he added quickly, as she went to speak again. Tonks nodded and, turning from him, sat down on an easy chair. 'I know, it's awful, Harry was in a state, do you think he'll be all right?' Remus was thoughtful for a moment as his mind turned to Harry Potter, who had witnessed his Headmaster falling from the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts when Severus Snape cast the Killing Curse. 'I hope so', he said, sitting down opposite the young woman, 'but with everything he's been through…this, so close after Sirius….' He broke off, not needing to say any more as Tonks nodded softly again.

The two fell into a heavy silence in which Remus finished his drink. Standing again, he went to put the glass down on a small coffee table and then he yawned widely. 'I think I'm off to bed' he said, stretching, 'It's been a long night'. Tonks stood quickly as Remus moved towards the door, 'Remus, we need to talk…about us' she said, talking a step towards him. Remus Lupin sighed and turned to face her again, 'Not now Nymphadora, besides, there isn't anything else to say is there? We said it all at Hogwarts'.

Nymphadora Tonks's eyes flashed dangerously for a moment, she took a calming breath before she could speak. 'Actually we didn't, the only thing that happened was that you spouted a lot of bull about being too old for me, being too dangerous, oh, and I nearly forgot, you reckoned you're too poor!' In spite of herself, Tonks's voice was rising, the frustration she felt at his refusals to allow them to be together when they clearly had feelings for each other suddenly boiling over.

Remus swallowed hard. He stepped back towards the door again, 'Look, we're both tired and emotional, it's been a rough night, let's just get some sleep and we can talk in the morning'.

Now Tonks became angry, she moved so she was standing right in front of Remus, her eyes bright with temper. 'You patronising git! Don't you dare stand there and dismiss me like I'm one of your students!' Remus stared with wide eyes at the angry young woman in front of him. He couldn't remember ever seeing her lose her temper like this. He couldn't work out if it was a bad sign or not. 'I…I'm sorry' he struggled to clear his mind after her outburst, 'I didn't mean to patronise you…I'm sorry'. He looked into her eyes, holding her gaze sincerely. 'It's just….well, wouldn't we better if we talked when we've had some sleep?' Tonks shook her head, 'Do you honestly think you'll sleep properly after everything that's happened tonight, because I know I won't, besides, we need to talk now, this thing between us is hard enough as it is. It's time we faced it….time we both faced it', she said, her meaning clear to Remus who swallowed again, realising at last that there was no point trying to avoid the issue any more. They both had to face their feelings, or rather, he did. He couldn't run away any more, she wasn't going to allow it.

Remus sighed heavily. After a long moment where he seemed to consider his actions, he moved back into the room and sat back down again. Tonks watched him sit and then returned to her own seat, opposite him. When they were both seated, Tonks spoke, running a distracted finger over the arm of her easy chair, studying that rather than looking at Remus, who seemed to be holding his breath. At last, Tonks spoke, all the while not looking at Lupin, 'Why won't you be with me Remus?' Remus Lupin groaned and shifted in his seat in agitation, 'Look Nymphadora, we've been over this a million times, I'm too old for you! For goodness sake, I was at Hogwarts when you were a baby!' Remus could feel himself becoming frustrated. He went to stand again, but Tonks suddenly looked up at him and glared, 'You were in the second year when I was born, yes, I know….the way you carry on you'd think you were teaching! I'm twenty four Remus, a twelve year age gap is nothing, it's not a reason, it's an excuse!'

Remus shifted back down into his seat, almost wishing he could curl up and completely avoid the discussion Tonks was determind to have. However, in his mind he grasped the truth of her words. Twelve years was nothing. Not if they…..he wouldn't allow his mind to finish the thought. He was supposed to be putting her off, not agreeing with her! He groped in his mind for another reason their relationship wouldn't work. 'I've already told you, I'm dangerous! Nymphadora I'm a werewolf! You know as well as I do that if you were in the way when I transformed….' He found himself unable to finish what he was saying, the thought of hurting her too much for him.

Tonks groaned in frustration. 'Yes, I know, you're a werewolf, so instead of allowing yourself to be happy you'd rather wallow in self pity!' She could feel her temper rising again, he was doing his utmost to put a barrier between them and she wasn't going to let him. He looked up at her, his grey eyes smouldering indignantly, 'It is not self pity!' he cried, 'It's the truth! If you were with me you'd be in danger and I can't….' he couldn't continue, his feelings getting the better of him. Tonks sighed, 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but Remus I'm an Auror, I'm trained to deal with dangerous situations. We could find somewhere for you during your transformations, or I could go somewhere, we don't need to allow it to run our lives'.

Remus thought about what she said. Even he had to accept that she had a point. They knew when his transformations would take place. They could make sure they were apart during the full moon. It wasn't a reason to prevent them being together…not if they….again he pushed the thought away firmly. He couldn't allow himself to give in. Instead, he found another reason to keep them apart, surely she couldn't argue with this. 'I'm poor; I couldn't provide for you or look after you or….'

Tonks interrupted, groaning in frustration, 'Remus I'm an Auror, I earn enough to keep us both...' Remus huffed as he exhaled sharply, 'I can't let you go out and provide for me, I'm a man, it's my place to…' Tonks gritted her teeth, 'Oh don't be so old-fashioned! I earn more than enough for now. Maybe one day you'll be able to work again….maybe you could go back to teaching again. Hogwarts needs a new Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor and you could do it, you know you could'. Remus shook his head, 'I couldn't capitalise on what happened tonight, it would be wrong'. Tonks looked into his eyes, shaking her own head firmly, 'You wouldn't be capitalising, you'd just be going back to a place where you know you've been happy to do a job you know you're good at. You have to agree that Dumbledore trusted you enough to do the job. He would never have done that if you couldn't do it'. 'But Dumbledore's….' He found himself unable to say the words. It was still hard to imagine that Albus Dumbledore was gone forever. Tonks nodded, 'Yes, I know, but Professor McGonagall would have you back, you know she would, and now Snape is gone, you could teach in peace'.

Remus could almost feel his resolve cracking. He knew she was right. He could teach, he loved the work and Hogwarts would need a new Professor. But then he thought of another obstacle, 'What if Hogwarts closes?' He knew that after tonight, the future of Hogwarts lay in the balance. Tonks smiled gently, 'Hogwarts won't close, something is bound to happen to keep it open, McGonagall won't let Hogwarts close, out of respect to Dumbledore, not once she gets over the shock of what happened. You'll see, Hogwarts will open in September, trust me'.

Remus couldn't speak. The young woman sitting with him was, one by one, breaking down all the barriers that kept them apart. Part of him questioned whether or not she was right about Hogwarts. The events of that night would get out and people might not feel able to send their children to Hogwarts any more. But then he thought of how strong Minerva McGonagall could be. Somehow he knew Tonks was right. Once McGonagall had come to terms with Dumbledore's death she would fight tooth and nail to keep Hogwarts open in his memory.

Remus sat in total silence taking in all Tonks's words and assurances. He couldn't help but wonder at how incredible she was and how much he….he forced himself not to think any more. He knew he couldn't possibly give in, for her sake as much as his own.

After a long moment Tonks spoke again, her voice sounding almost nervous. 'Remus?' He looked up at the question in her tone. He looked into her eyes, waiting for her to go on. 'Remus, do you….do you love me?'

A/N There we are! This was going to be a one shot, but it growed! I know, that's bad grammar, but I remember a similar line in a book (can't remember the title of said book!) and always wanted to use it. Anyway, stick with me, there's more!