Nnoitra's Guide to Getting Kicked Out of Walmart! Alright people, if you can recognize it, I don't own it. Means that I don't own Walmart, the Bleach cast, or this list. Yeah, I found it on the internet, and have no idea who it really belongs to, if anyone. And before ya ask, 'Why Nnoi?', ya ever seen a 7 ft. tall spoon doing stupid ass shit? No? Well now ya will...
"Remind me why we have to go to the human world, and to Walmart of all fuckin' places?" Nnoitra asked as he stepped through the gargantua. "Cuz that fucker Aizen insists that as Espada, we have to take responsibility and all that shit. 'Sides, where the fuck in Hueco-fuckin-Mundo are we gonna get anything even vaguely resembling supplies?"Grimmjow snarled, kicking a rock aside with his sneaker.
"Dunno, man. An we even gotta wear these fuckin' gigai and human clothes. I mean, we're gonna take over their pathetic lil' world soon, why the hell are we supposed to blend in?"
"Shut up."
"What? I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't the only one who heard what Aizen was saying in the meeting this morning. I mean, it'd really suck if I couldn't hear out of one ear or some shit like that."
"Ya do know that we look like a couple of fuckin' fags shopping together...Now get the fuckin' cart."
At this, Nnoitra stopped, glaring down at the shorter man. "What the fuck Grimmjow? I'm too tall for that shit. I'll be all hunched over it 'n shit."
"I don't give a fuck." Grimmjow said with an apathetic shrug.
"Don't make me go bankai on your sorry ass!"
"Dipshit! You really lost half your brain when you lost yer eye. Shinigami wear black. They don't look like a piece a fuckin' Swiss cheese. They don't have pieces a bone stickin' ta them. They have bankai and shikai. Espada and Arrancar wear white. They have holes in them an pieces a bone on the outside. They have Ressurreccion."
"That's what I meant to say!" Nnoitra said, raising his hand hopefully, one finger raised high.
"B.S."
"Well shut the fuck up or I'm gonna go Pray Santa Theresa on yer sorry ass."
"Fine, but know that when we get back to Hueco Mundo, I'm squashing you like the miserable bug that you are."
"Grab the damn cart."
"Fuckwad."
"Dickwad."
"Cunt."
"Overgrown pussy!"
" What the FUCK did you just call me?"
"Just get th' fuckin' cart."
Grumbling and cursing under his breath, Grimmjow got the cart, making sure to run over the Spoon's overgrown feet in the process. "Yaaaah! That was m' fuckin' foot!" Nnoitra yelled, hopping up and down, holding one foot in his hand. A lady with a small child gave him a disapproving glare and hurried away, tugging the child behind her.
"Well ya did want me to get the fuckin' cart."
"Fuck you."
"Sorry, I don't do favors."
Entering the building, Grimmjow hissed at the sudden blast of cold air that surrounded him.
"Good morning! Welcome to Walmart!" A little old lady wearing a blue smock chirped from her place inside the door.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever bitch. Shut the fuck up!" Grimmjow yelled at her in anger. There was a tense moment of silence, before the little old lady replied, "What did you say, Sonny? I didn't hear ya!"
"Ya fuckin' deaf old bitch! I said to SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Grimmjow bellowed.
Glaring at the two, the woman bustled off. "Good fuckin' riddance." the Sexta muttered. "Jeesh, Grimm. She's just someone's granny here workin' cause she's bored or some shit. No need to get yer panties inta a twist over it." Nnoitra said with a shrug.
Just then, the old lady returned, and said in her shrill voice, "Yep, that's the hooligan who cursed at me, and his boyfriend. Didn't his mother ever teach him to have manners for his elders?" The Espada turned, and saw the greeter that they'd previously cursed at following behind the store manager, who looked like he could be an ex-lineman. "Hey you! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" The manager asked, directing his furious glare at the bluenette.
" I don't see how the fuck what kind of a mouth I kiss my mother with is any of yer fuckin' business, sissy boy!"
"Well sirs, I have to ask you to leave this premises before I call the cops on you."
" 'The fuck does that mean?"
"Grimmjow, that means that either we high-tail it outta here like we're runnin' from another Justice lecture, or this dude is gonna call some fugly ass cops to go throw ya in a jail cell for the rest of eternity."
"Eternity?"
"Nah, seriously? For like .5 of a second. Of course I mean eternity! There's some things you just can't get away with doing an' cussin' out someone's lil' ol' granny is one a them!"
A perplexed look on his face, the manager replied, "Sir, I suggest you do what your...ahem...partner suggests, and leave now."
"This lanky ass bastard ain't nothin' special to me!"
Sighing dramatically, Nnoitra looked at the manager and greeter apologetically, before he said, "Please ignore him, he get's cranky if you try to wake him up before noon."
"The hell I do!"
Seeing no alternative, the Spoon swooped in, catching the other man's lips in a quick kiss, leaving him shocked, before grabbing him by the arm, and proceeding to drag him out the door. The old woman, however, said, "You should get away from that man before you wind up in the hospital, hon!"