I've Found You
The doorbell rang at our new house in San Francisco, fourteen hour's drive from Forks. I had moved here from the University in Alaska; having graduated and met one man who could almost completely fill the hole in my chest that Edward had made. And this man's name was Tom, he was from Wales given the place there because he opted for it - preferred the cold to the rain he had said. But that hole is still there, heck it almost kills me every time I wake up and find the two stone arms aren't wrapped around my waist. Edward had told me time would heal my wounds, and was right, I was better though incomplete. And I was fourty-eight, going a bit wrinkly but doing a lot better in my old age than others were.
Finally walking round from the kitchen I swiftly removed my apron that I used whenever I would do some cleaning. "Just a minute!" I called, it would be rude to keep my visitor waiting. "Shame Tom is abroad" I murmured to myself. I stumbled over to the front door and opened. Staring at this man's feet covered by loafers, I slowly guided my gaze upwards. He wore black jeans that were tight in just the right places, his grey turtle-neck top stretched across his well toned physique. I stopped breathing when I saw the skin, whiter than white, like Edward's and like all the Cullens. I had left them behind! Why had one come back? I stared into his face, the topaz coloured eyes were wide with shock, his bronzy hair was in it's usual disarray and his perfect featues were arranged so that I could fully understand how happy but surprised he was to find me. I stood agape.
"I found you" he whispered, his velvety voice rocked through my body as I collapsed onto the floor. My tears began to flow and soon his arms were wrapped around me.
"No! This isn't fair!" I cried. When I left Forks I only told Charlie where I was going, to Renee. I lived with her for a few months then went to Alaska, careful not to go anywhere near Denali. I lived with a broken heart for two years! Did he have any idea how painful that was?! I shook in Edward's arms, squirming away from him. I turned to see his face, he was hurt by my actions. Well guess what, so was I. He left me! Taking anything that might remind me of him, with him. It will be as if I'd never existed, he had claimed. The change on me was irreversible, a mark on my life forever. I was old, he had missed his chance. "No, Edward" he let me free. "I'm old, I have a husband, you missed your chance years ago" I looked at the floor, I couldn't bear to see his pained face any longer.
"You've changed" he whispered.
"It's what people do, Edward" I replied venomously.
"Why did it take me so long to find you?" he asked, was it that hard to figure out?
"Why do you think Edward?!" I screamed, walking quickly to the kitchen - my sanctuary - I picked up my apron from it's hanger and put it on. Then I began to scrub the worktop with a dishcloth. Edward followed, taking a seat in the high chair where I had eaten breakfast this morning. "I mean, did you expect me to just sit in my rocking chair back at Charlie's house for the rest of my god forsaken life?!" I scrubbed harder, wishing the surface was a punchbag. This was a shock to me, I was never violent. I stopped abruptly.
"Yes" he had answered, "in part" he was speaking to himself more than anyone else.
"What?" I breathed. As another round of furious, pure anger swept through me again. I had to do something to release it, or I might actually punch someone. "What did the other part expect Edward?" I asked.
"For you to move on, or so I'd hoped" his voice was a whisper, why so quiet?
"'A clean break'" I recalled. "Ha!" I laughed at how absurd he was, his head looked up at my sudden outburst, a confused expression on his face. I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. "Did you really expect I could forget you, get on with life?" my voice was disbelieving and heavily indignant, I made sure my face matched.
"I knew it would be difficult, but you're human, you're strong" he explained in a stutter. My eyes widened.
"I'm strong?" I was confused, strong? You sure you got the right person here?
"Yes, you're magnificent Bella, so much stronger than me, you've survived" he looked up briefly than turned away once more.
"I've survived" I sighed, " How wrong you are" I stared out the window, suddenly interested in the wind blowing the parasol around in our back garden.
"Wrong?" he questioned in a whimper.
"Yes, completely and totally wrong" I replied brokenly, the hole in my chest had ripped open again, wide open. It was stinging, a pressure on my heart, tearing me apart internally.
"How?" he breathed, he took another unecessary breath afterwards.
"Can't you see the pain I'm in?! Every day I wake up and you're not there! I've grown old without you, I'm supposed to be eightteen forever with you!" my hand found itself pressing against my torso, I was crumbling and fell to the floor pressed into the cupboards. "Look at me" I held up my free hand to him, it was slightly wrinkled and my skin was chapped. All the tell tale signs of old age. "Tom will never fill your hole! He tries but he won't ever, ever be you" my voice became smaller as I spoke on, reducing down so that I couldn't barely hear it. I had closed my eyes and bitten my lip, trying to hold back the inevitable tears that would fall. "Never you" I whispered. I covered my face with my knees and arms as I crawled into the fetal position.
"I'm sorry, Bella!" Edward shouted, distraught. I did not respond, Edward came to sit beside me and put his cold hand on my bare foot. I flinched away from his cold touch. "Look at me Bella" he put a hand on my arm and lightly tugged on it. "Please, it's all I ask" he whispered. I lifted my head, my eyes red raw and nose running. My vision was blurred from the tears that still harboured in my tear ducts, ready to spill over when something wrong was said. Why was he here? He didn't love me, and had apparently been searching.
"Why are you here?" my words were slurred from the increase in saliva in my mouth. Edward winced.
"Because I love you, Bella" I began to cry again, Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulders.
"Why do you lie, Edward?" I questioned. He pulled back to look at my face. "Why do you say you love me?" I elaborated. "Why? If this is some kind of sick joke-"
"I lied to you when I claimed I didn't love you, but I'm not lying to you now Bella, I promise" I pushed away from him, but he kept a firm hold on my hand.
"Edwar-" I could not finish my sentence because he had pulled me to the floor with him and crushed his lips against mine. I fell into the kiss like I used to, becoming overly enthusiastic. It felt like fireworks, what I had wanted to do for thirty years, one difference - I was old. I broke the kiss and Edward frowned. It wasn't the same. This was terrible, this was sick.
"Stop it" I exclaimed. "You should leave Edward, I'm too old for this now" I walked to the wedding photo that Tom had hung in the front room, we had married in 2010. I took it from the wall and went to show it to Edward. He was still sat on the floor by the cupboards, his head rolled back so he was looking at the ceiling. "This is my wedding day Edward" I walked till I stood straight above him, handing him the frame. He took it eagerly, studying everything about it. A traditional shot, I walked down the chapel stairs with Tom while the crowd threw rice.
"Tom's very handsome" he commented. He ain't got nothing on you. I mentally noted. "But he pales next to your beauty Bella" Edward continued. I blushed. "Are you happy?" Edward looked into my eyes.
"More or less" I however, looked away.
"More or less?" he inquired.
"I haven't been okay since my eighteenth birthday, Edward" was my answer, he put his head down closing his eyes. As though he were in great pain. "I'm good at repressing unpleasant feelings, apart from in the mornings, that's out of my control though" the last part was an afterthought. "How is everyone else?"
"Not so good, especially not Jasper" he stared suggestively at me, as if I were the cause.
"That is a shame" I stated. "Send them to my door whenever" I added.
"I can't let you go again Bella"
"And I don't want you to go, but I need you to leave, for me" I caressed his cheek, he pressed into my hand breathing in. He finally got up, he put a hand behind my neck and we kissed. Was this truly goodbye? All too soon, he pulled away, there was an unnatural wind which was painfully familiar. I opened my eyes, I saw no-one. He was gone.
A/N: I hope you liked this one shot, I'm certainly proud of it. ;) Love ya peeps!