Buffalo Pictures owns Doc Martin. I own nothing except my own imagination. What follows takes place after Season Four … it was mostly written before information about upcoming Season Five was available, so no intention to spoil anything happens here. Any similarity would be coincidental.

Chapter One

"Remember when you said you could learn to be a father?" Louisa asked him. "I think at that moment, I began to relax just a little and realize that we all might have a chance to succeed and be a family. What were you thinking as you said that?"

One of the things that Martin had learned was whenever Louisa asked a question or questions, he had to suppress his urge to be painfully honest. What to him were truthful, straightforward answers almost never seemed to be the right answers, as he learned repeatedly the hard way. In modifying his behavior for other things (haemophobia cure, for example), he realized there were procedural methods he could introduce to 1) give himself enough time to think of a better answer, 2) appear thoughtful in his response instead of blurting out the first (rude) thing that came to mind and lips, and 3) reduce aggravating his lovely wife. Another thing he came to realize was that her intent wasn't to trap him in a "gotcha moment" as much as to feel closer to him. He didn't quite understand her (he wondered if he ever would), but there were residual benefits to suppressing his immediate (wrong) responses.

After a moment's pause, he replied, "Honestly, Louisa, I think I realized that you accepted what I had just said, and that you weren't afraid to let me be part of your and our son's lives. I couldn't believe it and I felt an instant tidal wave of relief. As I recall, I think I also felt some trepidation, because my experience with children, especially newborns, is limited to treating them in the surgery. I have no experience befriending them and certainly not parenting them."

Louisa was touched by his thoughtful response, since his nature was more to say something horrible first, and try and recover later. Was he already changing for the better?

"Why do you always underestimate your ability to do something as natural as be a parent?" she inquired. "You're a professional, educated man, respected in your field, able to do surgery and be a GP, responsible for the health and welfare of the whole village. Why do you doubt yourself?"

Martin realized he wasn't going to be able to study his medical journal tonight. Louisa seemed intent on talking … to him. As someone who had spent years on his own, rarely sharing more than an evening a week with other people, the change in his daily life, being with Louisa and Philip was drastic, and, if he was honest, tiring. On the other hand, however, there were benefits.

The main benefit was having an endlessly evolving relationship with the woman he loved. To be sure, she was loving and supportive a great deal of the time. But, being a lively and somewhat excitable person, she was also prone to jumping to conclusions – a trait they shared. He had never been with someone who was so keen on getting inside his head. She really wanted to know him, under what she labeled "his gruff, monosyllabic exterior." And they were getting to know each other better, although the strain of being together constantly presented a challenge at first.

It may be assumed that being sleep deprived (from having night feeds with Philip, or Louisa's alleged snoring, or just general low level stress of everyday life) did not help their situation at first. To their credit, however, they tried to remind themselves that the alternative of not being together was far worse.

Now that she had her family under one roof, Louisa settled on a worthy project: a slight makeover on Martin. She didn't want to change any of the "essential" qualities he possessed: intelligence, integrity, a man of "action" rather than words. She wished to introduce him to a few "quality of life" issues, such as the ability to relax, encouraging his slowly improving communications skills, and, of course, dealing with children. If she was being honest, she didn't want him to change too much, as much as she wanted him to want to change.

For being a smart- know-it-all about a large number of topics, Martin was still insecure around Louisa. He never quite believed that she loved him, despite her directly telling him so, marrying and moving in together. He had so little experience being loved by other people, including his own parents, that he had a hard time trusting the power and integrity of her love for him. And he did have some competition for her attention now, from Philip. All of these circumstances let him revert to his old routines … never quite telling her how he felt and keeping her at some little distance emotionally.

Louisa had always had some insecurities too, particularly as they related to Martin. She did believe he loved her on some level, and he certainly loved Philip, but she often felt as though she had to tread carefully around him, not to provoke his sharp tongue, or be the recipient of a medical lecture or some other condescending "teaching" moment, wherein he imparted his knowledge as the doctor, not her life's equal partner.

She thought of ways to combat the seemingly endless Doc Martin lecture series. Meet fire with fire? Change the subject? Break into tears to end it? Do something unexpected?

Tears seemed like a cheap way of getting her way, although if she was honest, there were times she felt like crying. Fighting back with facts and figures seemed pointless, because people with such pronounced views rarely change them, even when presented with facts and figures. And while Martin was decidedly a man of science, he didn't really regard her as his equal professionally. That lack of equality was a source of insecurity for her.

On the other hand, Louisa was a self made woman, who had been taking care of herself since her mum had left during her childhood, and she learned how to take care of her dad as well. She had put herself through school, had risen to the top of her chosen profession, and was well regarded in her community. She had no reason to question her standing, even with someone as professionally distinguished as Martin.

When it came to parenting duties, she was clearly the more experienced of the two on every level, from practical to emotional. Martin had even admitted as much when he had told her the previous year she'd make a lovely mother in an unguarded moment of truth. But now that Philip was here, he couldn't resist his own nature to be the authority figure all the time. It was maddening, especially since she was far more qualified to direct the parenting, especially while their child was young.

Martin could handle the physical things, changing a nappy, taking a temperature, diagnosing an illness, etc. But anything having to do with emotions, or closeness, or bonding … those areas were best left to Louisa. Except that, in his own home, he liked to exert control. Thus he liked telling Louisa how she was wrong, or how he could cite better references for all issues around bringing up their son.

After tolerating a certain amount of his "guidance," Louisa decided she was having none of it. She hadn't become head teacher by backing down from clueless parents, and she was not about to start here with Martin, because the stakes were too high.

After tiptoeing around Martin, and trying to meet him halfway, she drew the line at not showing her son how much he was loved. She couldn't bear to let him cry all night, when he was put down for the evening, when he was sobbing uncontrollably. Part of this was brought on by a strong sense that she never wanted him to feel that he had been unwanted or unloved, since, at least in her case, neither had been the case. From the moment she learned she was pregnant, despite the fact she was no longer with Martin, she wanted their child. And she never wanted Philip to doubt it.

So she fought Martin on this and similar parenting initiatives which he quoted at her, and decided ground rules for living together were necessary. Her ground rules were not unreasonable to anyone except Martin, but now that she was responsible for Philip as well, she knew she had to insist, or there would be changes.

"Martin, I cannot be constantly provoked by you and your irritating, condescending behavior, especially in the privacy of our home. I need our home to be a refuge for me too, and I need you to be part of that. If you're not willing to act respectfully in our own home, I think I'm going to ask you to leave, or Philip and I will," Louisa stated forcefully and directly. Martin blanched at her words.

"I'm only trying to help and to do what's best for our son," he protested. "I need to participate in his care and upbringing as well as you. And I want to …"

"I don't dispute that, Martin," said Louisa. "But you are not nice in how you deliver your lectures to me, and you're contributing to a hostile atmosphere. I don't know all about your childhood, but isn't that the sort of thing that you experienced in your own past that you would wish to avoid with our son?"

"It's true. Growing up, I was subjected to the most insidious kind of abuse … neglect and bizarre expectations," admitted Martin. "That's why it is important for me to be involved. … but perhaps you have a point. I'm rubbish when it comes to emotions. I concede that point readily but you know very well how much I love our boy. I don't see why you have to immediately shoot down my suggestions on child rearing, however. I am trying to help."

"Which is exactly why I'm having this conversation with you," said Louisa. "If we don't clear the air soon, and get ourselves on the right track, we're going to end up hating each other in an effort to do the right thing or be right, rather that working things out before they grow from minirows to major rows. That's what I want us to try and correct now, before we get stuck in a bad behavioral rut. Are you with me?"

Martin had to concede the logic of what she was saying. He didn't want to muck up his new-found closeness to Louisa and Philip. He knew that his behavior wasn't quite right, but he kept assuming that because his intentions were "pure," then they must be right. But what he never intended or wanted to do was to hurt Philip. So he supposed he could swallow his pride a little for his sake, and attempt to get along better with Louisa and even concede that maybe, when it came to dealing with children, he should do the unthinkable: let her take the lead and dictate their behavior.

Could he do it?