Disclaimer: We don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer creatures or Naruto.
Author's note: Me and my younger brother Zander cowrote this. It was originally his idea, so if you love it, thank my writing skills and his imagination.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
It was a dark and stormy night, and two young men sat in a dark room in an equally dark house. The lightning flashed, revealing the faces of said young men, and, if one were to glance outside, one would spot yet another figure hunched outside the window of the room.
"Beautiful night, huh?" asked the younger of the two, sarcasm dripping from his voice.
The elder of the two smirks, "Oh yeah, heartwarming."
"You know, I was thinking—" the younger said before he was interrupted.
"I know, it hurtsss," the other brother injects, his smirk growing.
"Be careful, snake, you accent's showing," quipped the younger.
He raises an eyebrow, hissing loudly, "You're one to talk, rat. You'd betray our mother for a crumb."
"That much? Anyway, we getting off track, as I was saying, wouldn't it be cool if we could be in the Naruto universe? If we could, what would you have? You know, bloodline, chakra, the works," the younger says slowly.
"But, Zander, the Bleachversse hass plenty of big badsss to blow up with cool powerss. You even get swordsss," hisses the older with a predatory grin.
"Yes, they do, Hawke, but they don't have as cute of girls to hook up with," says the newly identified brother, Zander.
Hawke strokes his chin thoughtfully. He seems to zone out before murmuring, "Yeah, being with Hinata would be awesssome…" His eyes focus and he glares at Zander dangerously. "And if you sssso much asss think about getting her, you're dead meatsss!"
"Don't worry, I won't. Also, in Bleach, don't you have to be like, dead to get a cool sword?" Zander asks, stroking his newly formed mustache.
Hawke frowns darkly, "Good pointsss, I forgot that partsss. Before we continue this merry little discussionsss though, should we invite in our guessst?" His finger flicks open the latch on his back, allowing a short sword to drop into his waiting hand and he yanks it from the sheath.
Zander grins evilly, "He's mine," he growls while pulling out two throwing knives from his sleeves.
"Not if I getsss him firssst!" hisses Hawke excitedly, his other hand reaching for the long bo staff lying against the nearby wall. He grabs the long staff and lunges for the window with his blade pointing forward, only to have the window thrown open. The 'guest' rushes forward, but finds itself pinned to the wall of the house by four throwing knives, a blade through each limb courtesy of Zander. "Sssspoilssport!"
"I try my best," sneers the brother, admiring his handiwork while 'accidentally' tripping one of the many traps that fires a knife at Hawke.
Growling, Hawke twists the handle of the sword, catching the knife between the two blades and throwing it back at him. He raises the sword to his eye and looks between the two blades connected by the handle. "Gotssss you, bratsss!"
Zander catches the knife and slides it up one of his sleeves, "Now, where was I? Oh, yes! I was going to interrogate the intruder, as I'm sure he didn't avoid all of our traps by accident." He stated before sending a sadistic grin the 'guest's' way.
Hawke sheathes his sword onto his back again and mutters, "Why alwaysss interrogate? Why not jussst asssk nicely for a change, Zzzander?" He leans against the bo staff, boredom threatening to overcome him once again.
"Because he might answer, and that would take all the fun out of the torture, I mean questioning," Zander replied, the sadistic grin once again prevailing.
Hawke thinks with a sigh, "Of course." He says out loud, "I may sssound like a ssserpent, but you actsss like Orochimaru!"
"Nah, more like Anko or," he pauses as his eyes light up, "maybe even Ibiki!"
The creature shouts out, "Wait! I can grant each of you one wish, anything! Just don't kill me!"
"Pitifulsss," hisses Hawke with a frown. "But why notsss jussst get the wishesss and killsss him anywaysss? Why wasss he ssspying on ussss?"
"It's kind of a long story," the man replies.
"Take your time, take your time, you have about twenty seconds before we start playing Operation on you," Zander mentions casually.
Hawke grins, "Twenty secondsss? More like ten!" He thinks about it briefly. "And, to anssswer your mossst likely thoughtsss, Yesss, we are very sssadistic peoplesss. Hehe."
"Ok! Ok, I was sent by Justin to try and make your lives miserable by granting a wish you didn't really want granted, like say, that Narudo thing you were talking about," the creature rasps.
"I get it. Well, I think we should follow through with that one, don't you agree, Hawke?" retorts Zander playfully.
Hawke nods slowly, "Yesss. Do it, beasssty!"
"Ok, what is your exact wish?" the vengeance demon asks.
"I wish that my brother and I could be put into Naruto's world the day after the Kyuubi attack, me being as old as Naruto, and Hawke being Neji Hyuga's age. We would like the ability to create our own bloodlines after we arrive there," states Zander, examining one of his knives fondly.
Hawke hisses, "Ditto, only I wantsss to be ablesss to ssstop thisss ssstupid hisssingsss!"
"And, we would like to be able to emit a scent that naturally attracts girls to us, and if we so choose, it will be a motherly/sisterly kind of thing," Zander adds as an afterthought.
The older brother snorts and finishes, "Make that lassst part only for Zzzander. Now grantsss usss the wishesss!"
Time slows down as their eyelids slowly close and reopen. Instead of the apartment, a small orphanage meets their now small eyes. Hawke tries to say something but can't, so he growls at his now baby brother and cries loud enough to get someone's attention.
"Oh, what do we have here?" inquires the caretaker after she opened the door.