Sakura stared at the empty room that had been reserved, but now remained vacant. A room that was supposed to be filled with the laughter of a child. But those dreams were gone now.
Sakura spent months sitting in that room. Rocking in the rocking chair, speaking happily to her swollen stomach, telling her baby of how amazing the world that awaited it was. Of how excited she and Naruto were for when it would come into their lives. Telling it of all they would teach it and how loved it was. How they were so happy that they were blessed when they found out they were having twins instead of just the one.
A room that was once filled with so much happiness was now filled with dust and despair.
Naruto watched from the kitchen as his wife continued to stare into the vacant nursery as she had done for weeks, two cribs sat in the middle of the room. Toys surrounded them and lots of other colourful baby things. They had become so prepared for the arrival of their little gifts. So happy and proud. It all happened so fast. He didn't understand why, the twins were fine through out the pregnancy, they were set to be born in the late fall. How could something so wonderful go so wrong in a matter of minutes?
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It was a dreary morning when Naruto was getting ready to set out for work, Sakura had gotten up with him and helped make breakfast, she was fine, as happy as ever. He smiled glancing at her swollen stomach where their beautiful twins grew inside.
"Did they keep you up last night?" he asked touching the soft fabric of her dress with a smile.
"No they were quiet for a bit. I got at least an hour or two of sleep." The pinkette chuckled, laying her hand over his. "it's hard to believe they'll be here in a couple months."
"I know. I can't wait to see them." The blonde grinned his usual foxy grin proudly. "I'll be the best Dad to them and be there when ever they need me." He knelt down and kissed her stomach. "my precious little girls."
sakura smiled and laid a hand on his head. "You should get going or you'll be late."
Naruto stood and kissed her lips. "Are you sure you should be working at the hospital today? Maybe you should take it easy. I mean being around all those sick people can't be good for you and them."
"I'll be fine. Tsunade has me away from anyone contagious. Just treating broken legs and skinned knees." Sakura reassured him. "Now go you have paperwork to do i'm sure."
He frowned not wanting to leave his wife and children. "Why don't we call in sick? That way we can stay home and talk to the twins!" he piped.
"Nonsense, we both have work to do, you as hokage and me as a doctor. Now get going, i'll see you tonight when you get home."
"At least let me walk you to work. They'll understand."
Sakura sighed and knew he wasn't going to quit until he got his way. "Alright fine, but no fake short cuts to make the walk longer, and you get straight to work the minute you drop me off understand?"
Naruto nodded his head vigorously, He grabbed Sakura's bag and slung it over his shoulder. Taking her hand they left their quiet little home, which soon would have the pitter patter of tiny feet running throughout it.
Sakura listen to Naruto ramble on about baby names he liked and how he would teach them all about how their grandfather was a great hero and how he and their grandmother would have loved to meet them.
They stopped in front of the hospital and Naruto gave her a big kiss and waited for her to go inside before leaving. Sakura smiled and proceeded down to her office. As she walked though her head started to spin slightly and caused her to grab the wall for support.
Ino had spotted her and quickly went over to her friend. "Hey are you ok?" she asked helping her sit down.
"Yeah i'm fine...i'm probably just tired..the baby's kept me up most of the night." Sakura said laying a hand on her head.
"Wait here, I'll get you some water." the woman said placing a hand on the pinkettes shoulder and then calling another nurse to watch over her until she returned.
The nursed asked her questions to keep her mind focused. How long have you been pregnant? Have you experienced this dizziness anymore other than now. Sakura answered every one, until a sharp pain hit her in her stomach. She yelped as the nurse quickly began to call for help.
"It's too early...i'm n-not due for three more months.." she whimpered as another shot off pain hit her. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Early labours were never good, it meant that something was wrong.
Panic hit her as she was rushed off to be prepped for a c-section. Naruto..He had no idea.
"Please! You have to get my husband I can't do this with out him here! He needs to be here!" She said feeling sick to her stomach. She had never felt more scared in her life, Her heart was beating so fast it felt it would burst out of her chest. "Naruto! I need Naruto here! Please I can't do this without him!"She screamed as she tried to stand but was only held down.
"Please lady hokage, you need to calm down we've sent for your husband. You're only putting yourself and your babies in danger by fighting us and causing yourself to stress. I need you to take long deep breathes for me ok?" The nurse said as she helped guide Sakura in taking deeper and longer breathes. "I know you're scared but you have to trust that we'll do everything in our power to make sure that your children come out of this ok..."
Another nurse did a quick ultra sound to check on the babies.
Horror was on Sakura's face when she only heard one slow beating heartbeat. "No...No please!" She sobbed. "Not my babies! They didn't do anything wrong!" she howled as Naruto came in the slow heartbeat stopping instantly. Sakura screamed and sobbed as a nurse held her in her arms.
Naruto looked to his hysteric wife, and felt his blood run cold. The ultrasound was still going but there was nothing. The room was silent a side from the pinkettes cries. A doctor walked over and expressed her condolences. "I'm very sorry for your loss lady Hokage...but we need to go through with the surgery...You're bleeding internally and if we don't fix it soon you'll bleed out." she said with the utmost kindness.
Sakura refused again and again , her hysterics getting the better of her and not letting her think straight.
Naruto walked over tears streaming down his grief stricken face. "S-Sakura-chan...please you have to go through with this...I can't lose you too." he whimpered petting her face. She looked up at him. Pain and guilt was written all over her face. She knew he was right.
"I don't want to see them..." she choked. "Drug me before you do the surgery. I don't want to see them dead!"
"Sakura-chan...We...We have to say goodbye...they're our daughters. They deserve that much..."
"They deserve to be alive Naruto! They were just helpless babies...OUR babies! What's the point of saying goodbye!?"
"It might help with the pain..."
"We lost our first born children Naruto! I listened as one of them died in front of me as she laid next to her dead sister! Do you really think that saying goodbye to them is going to fix that!?" She snapped in anger.
Naruto soon stop trying to convince her. He hung his head, wishing he had been here.
Once Sakura was prepped she was wheeled into an operating room. She hadn't been sedated, like she had asked. The doctors feared that along with her internal bleeding, though not as dangerous as they had first thought, may progress as they went on with the surgery. Had she been sedated she could very well fall into a coma because of this.
Sakura had her head turned, her face full of anger and pain of not being able to hold her babies alive and healthy. Of not getting to feel the joys of becoming a mother and seeing her daughters open their eyes for the first time to see the faces of the voices they had heard as they grew. It wasn't fair.
While Sakura chose to look away, Naruto did the opposite, He wanted to see what their children looked like. Every feature every hair on their head. He wanted to be able to remember them, instead of acting like they never existed. He would say goodbye to them alone. He would make sure that they got a proper goodbye before being examined for the cause of death. He would hold them and kiss them. He wouldn't care if he cried. He would shed the tears for them. To let them know how loved they truly were and how much they'll be missed. He would see that they would be buried next to his mother and father so they would watch over them and so he would know they would be safe.
The doctors spoke to one another as the surgery went on and soon the first baby girl was removed from Sakura's body. A tiny blonde that was the spitting image of him. Her paling skin was still far from blue, she must have been the one that had passed just before he had gotten there. Tears welled in Naruto's eyes. She had tried so hard to stay alive, she fought to stay alive. He watched as she laid limply in the doctors hands as she was handed off to a nurse to be cleaned. It wasn't long after until they removed the second baby. She had a small tuff of orange hair, her little body was frail and weak looking. The doctors confirmed that the cause of death for her was malnourishment and later asphyxiation from the umbilical cord that was wrapped around her neck. Naruto heard one of the doctors said she was still born three weeks before this.
Sakura choked in hearing this. She carried one of her babies dead bodies for nearly a month and never thought anything to be wrong...What kind of mother was she? All that kicking from the night before was her own child trying tell her something was wrong and she just brushed it off as hyperactivity.
The doctors treated the small amount of internal bleeding within Sakura's womb and sewed up her stomach. She would have to stay in the hospital for a bit until they were sure she was healthy enough to go home. The nurse wheeled Sakura back to her room and expressed her condolences once again.
"Would it be alright...if i said goodbye to them?" Naruto asked her before she could leave.
"Of course..would you like them to be brought in here or in another room?" the nurse asked.
"Another room." Sakura answered for him as she laid back on to them.
The nurse nodded and lead Naruto out to were the twins laid in an incubator wrapped in pink blanket, in the middle of a small room. The nurse left giving the new father some time alone to spend with the last moments of his children.
Naruto walked over and looked at their small faces. They looked like they were only asleep. As if they could wake up any moment and stare up at him. Naruto picked up the smallest one addressing both babies with the nicknames he had given them. He held her closed and then carefully picked up her sister. He sat in the rocking chair and slowly rocked with them in his arms.
"You are my sunshines, my only sunshines, you make me happy...w-when skies are grey...you'll never know dears how m-much I love you...please don't take my sunshines away..." he began to sing once he started to sob. He held them against his shoulders and sobbed as loudly as he could. Unable to be strong any longer. He had lost his two precious baby girls. The gifts he and Sakura had waited for were taken from them in such a way he felt his heart would never be repaired by it.
And it seemed that Sakura's was the same way. They had the twins buried a week later. Right next to his parents. After that the couple only seemed to fight, most times Naruto would sleep on the couch just to get away from her.
But now here they were to the present. The day their twins were supposed to be born. Naruto looked to the clock. It was getting late. He walked to the couch and laid in the covers. The two barely spoke now a days. It was just silent meals at the table, when Sakura would even eat, Watching her stare into the nursery with the same soulless, dead glance as she had when he had come back from saying goodbye to the twins. Soon the blonde was fast asleep.
His sleep unfortunately only lasted for a short while once he soon was awoken by a loud crash coming from the nursery. He quickly got up only to find Sakura, sitting in the middle of piles of torn stuffed animals and broken cribs, sobbing into her knees. He wrapped his arms around her.
"Let me go Naruto! Let me go!" sakura squirmed and hit him, trying to get him to get away from her. But his grip only tightened. "damn it I said...let me...go!" She yelled as she finally broke in his arms, all the grief she had been bottling up inside was now coming out at once.
"It's not fair!"
"I know...I know just how you feel Sakura..but they won't really be gone...They knew how much we loved them and they tried their best to hang on. They knew they were loved and that their fate had different plans than we had thought. It'll be hard I know...But the hurt will soon stop if we just get through the grief together...instead of trying to get through it alone." Naruto said kissing her head. "We'll see them again. One day."
months passed, the debris of Sakura's grief driven out rage had long been cleaned up. The room that once held empty cribs and toys left unplayed with. Now had a shrine surrounded by the pictures Naruto had taken of him and Sakura throughout the pregnancy. A small inscription was written on the shrine.
"To our ray of sunshine, and our precious little snowflake. May they rest and play in happiness."