This is part of my Our Lives In Objects universe, after Sherlock has cheated on John. It's a 221B, and I honestly think it's a piece of crap, but you can never tell until you post it. Plus, I needed to write something today.
Written to "Foolish Games" by Jewel, which is currently my absolute favorite song.
Disclaimer: If I owned Sherlock, everyone would be running for miles. I love angst too much for any happy endings.
Warnings: This is sad. This is from John's POV and he is beyond sad.
You screwed up.
Screwed up?
No, you fucked my life up. You came in and ruined everything that I'd ever had and everything I'd ever want, all for the better. That was what I thought and that was what you thought, too.
But was that not enough? Was it not enough that I just dropped everything and came running when you called? Every single time?
You had my heart in your hands. You held it so tenderly for these past years and then you threw it down and stomped on it.
I asked myself if I'd done something wrong, knowing the answer was no. It was nothing that I'd done. Nothing and everything.
I was not enough. I was not enough for someone as brilliant as you. I got boring.
You can't live with boring.
I wish that we'd done something differently. I wish that I'd said no the first time, that you'd realized that I wasn't worth your time so that we hadn't kept going all this time.
I loved you. I thought you loved me.
Did you? Did you ever really love me?
What happened?
It was good. It really was. And it just wasn't enough for you.
So here I am, back in a boring army-issue flat. Back to a boring, ordinary life.
My heart is past broken.