Disclaimer: I don't own anything of the Lord of the Rings.
Note: We all know that Elrohir and Elladan did not immediately follow their father into the West but neither did Tolkien say what they choice. What is their choice was immortality? How would Elrond respond? This is a one shot about his feelings when he learns that his sons did not follow him.
"No!" I stutter, my mind racing as my heart weeps when I register the news. I step back from all the elves that had gathered on the dock to welcome the last ship that would bear one of the Eldar west. Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, stands before me, his eyes sad as he gives me the much desired news about my twin sons
"They said that they could not come, my lord. They had already aged when I came west to seek news of them…" Legolas' voice falters and at that moment I can hear the keening wail of my wife, Celebrian.
She cries out a few times but I can not come to her. I can not face her grief when my own was just beginning to blossom.
I know her mother has her safely tucked into her arms, rocking her and allowing her child to spend her grief.
At that moment it becomes hard to take a breath and I gasp for air. One strong hand is going around my elbow and I am led away, away from the place where I heard the news that my own twin sons had chosen mortality.
My tears are choking me even as they did not fall. Somebody holds me even refusing to give up as I push weakly against a strong chest. "No, release me. Please I must go to them."
"You cannot go to them, Elrond. They are beyond your reach. If you were to go to them, you would go through death and you still would not see them. They will pass utterly beyond the circles of the world while you remain within it. Such is the fate of all the firstborn, a fate that you have chosen." A soft and familiar voice comes.
"Then I curse my fate." I finally cry, breaking the strong hold. Two people stare at me. My father in law, lord Celeborn and my golden shadow, Glorfindel. I gasp for breath, the pain blinding me and making me choke.
I step back and wrap my arms around myself as I feel a blinding pain settle in my heart. The same pain that I felt when my brother Elros died and Arwen choice mortality. I can feel the bond with my sons disappearing and I keenly remember how I could feel them all through out their life.
I heard somebody crying and only now do I realize it is I. I put my hands in front of my face to hide the tears that fall from my eyes. I taste salt on my lips and the next moment strong arms once more go around my trembling body.
"Hush, Elrond." Glorfindel whispers into my ear, tilting my head so that it comes to rest upon his shoulder. I am truly grateful for his friendship but right now he does not understand the pain I am feeling. He has never lost a child.
I allow him to comfort me as I try to find any facts that I should have known about this devastating news. I knew Arwen was to die when she fell in love with Aragorn and I knew that it would be decades before I would finally lose her, but to lose my twin sons. That I had never anticipated, resulting into a much keener pain.
I put my ear upon Glorfindel's chest, comforted by the steady heartbeat that vibrated through my head. His hands stroke my hair in an attempt to calm me as I still sniffle.
Celeborn is standing by my side as if he knows that I cannot accept the comfort from him. His face is a picture of sadness as he beholds me. Never have I utterly lost control like this in front of my father in law.
"I have truly lost everything now." I whisper as Glorfindel pulls away to look me in the eye. He tries to smile at me as he says. "That is not true, Elrond. You still have your wife."
Celeborn draws closer and he places a hand on my shoulder as he says. "The moment that they did not wish to sail was when we knew. Elladan was the first to hesitate. Wishing to see the world of Men such as the new age would bring. Elrohir's gaze was still drawn west but he could not leave his brother behind. They have chosen within a matter of years, Elrond, long before any of us ever found out."
"How did you know then?" I ask, looking at my father in law as Glorfindel still holds me. I can feel the pain taking hold of me and I know that I shall never lose it.
"Elrohir fell ill." Glorfindel's voice is soft and I can still remember how the twins looked when they saw Aragorn was ill.
"We found Elladan sitting with him and after time worn on, they became old. They did not age phically as quick as men do but they still aged. By the time that we set sail, we suspected that they had chosen mortality but they never spoke to us about it. I believe they were afraid of how you were going to react." Glorfindel falls silent and I can hear him sigh.
Yet he still holds me tightly but I know that I must go to Celebrian. Never shall I welcome my sons into Valinor. Never shall I see them heal from their grief and the shadow that has taken hold of them in all their years in Middle Earth. Those years will come to an end but what hurt me the most is that they did not confide in me.
That I did not know that my sons' gazes were not drawn west but to the world of men. But what also pains me is that I am not there to be with them when they close their eyes for the last time.
Arwen has Aragorn to help her in the last moments. I know that my foster child has send her to come to the havens and go west but she did not wish to go, claiming that she has chosen not only the happiness but also the bitterness of mortality.
I wonder how my sons shall cope. Together they are strong, they are even strong when they are alone but they have always had each other. They had never been alone and when one was injured the other was always there, worried for the other.
I close my eyes and I allow my friends to comfort me. They will always be there and I know that my pain shall lesson with grief.
They will always be my sons, whether they are mortal or not. I shall always care for them and remember them in my heart. I shall not have to see them grow old and that may pain me but in the end it shall be for the better.
As I return to my wife's side, our tears fall in time with each other but I can feel the healing begin and while I wonder about this, I am also not sure if it is for the best. Sometimes to remember the pain is to remember what we have lost and as we are surprised by a sudden downpour of rain, I know that in the end the pain shall be bearable and I will see my children again. At the end of the journey we shall all be reunited and that should be enough to sustain me through the long centuries that I cannot see them.
I will always love and remember them and for now, that will have to be enough.
The end.
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