Disclaimer: I do not own One Tree Hill or Jack's Mannequin.
It was last night, at an empty warehouse party,
And there in the backlight,
I could see the tattoos glowing on your body, oh.
What Gets You Off? By Jack's Mannequin
I can't help but stare at her from across the lunch room. I know that I'm not supposed to but, like I said, I can't help it. It's not like anyone would dare ask me about where my eyes are gazing anyway. No one questions me. That's just the way it is.
She meets my gaze. Nothing. I would have even preferred a fake angry glare, but no. She remains expressionless for the three seconds she meets my eyes before she turns back to pay attention to the people at her table.
I sigh and undress her with my eyes. I know every single detail; every freckle and curve and scar on her body. I study her it every time we sleep together. It never gets old.
"Okay, Scott, what's going on?" My blonde, one time girlfriend asks me. I roll my eyes, annoyed that she took my mind away from Haley.
"Nothing." I answer quickly, while reluctantly keeping my eyes on my food for a moment so that she can't follow my gaze. Even though she wouldn't question me about it, she would probably tell Brooke. Even if she didn't, she would still have her suspicions and Haley made it pretty clear that no one can find out about us and if someone does than it's over and I certainly wouldn't be able to take that. So I keep my mouth shut.
I can tell that Peyton doesn't believe me, but she doesn't push me. Smart girl. I'm happy when I hear the bell ring and everyone around me starts to pack up their belongings and begins heading in separate directions to their classes. I allow myself to look back at Haley again who is hugging the enemy, uh, no, I mean her amazing best friend, with a genuine smile on her face. I told her that I'd try to by nicer to Lucas, though I don't know why, it's not like I'm getting anything in return. Well, besides sex. But it's not really like that. She's not sleeping with me so I'll be nice to her friend.
I follow her out the doors of the lunch room. I even have to quicken my pace in order to catch up with her. I don't say anything or touch her when I get behind her but she knows I'm there anyway.
"Leave me alone, Nathan." She warns as I quickly speed up again to walk beside her.
"Why?" I ask as I look around for Lucas or any of our other friends who may question us.
"Are you kidding me? Maybe for the same reason that we've been sneaking around for the last year." She replies, not attempting to hide her annoyance with me.
"Well do you want to tell me the reason for us sneaking around? Because I never understood that either."
"You know what, Nathan, I don't need to give you a reason. I don't owe you anything. We don't speak. If that's not okay with you than we can stop." She threatened.
She knew that I would never stop. I needed what we had just as much as she did.
"That's what I thought." She said after I stood in silence for a moment. She turned into a classroom and left me alone. I sighed.
Flashback
"Who the hell are you?" Nathan asks, probably a little too bitterly, but he doesn't care. He's Nathan Scott. He can step on people all he wants. He's earned that right.
"Why are you sober?"
This made Nathan stop mid taking off his dress shirt. It was another average victory party at his beach house after the Ravens won an easy game. He wasn't in the mood for it tonight and knew that it was late enough in the night that he wouldn't be missed if he escaped into his room. But he definitely didn't expect to have a rather feisty girl that he's never even seen before sitting on his bed. Well, the random girl waiting for him in bed wasn't so unusual, but she just seemed different.
He finished pulling off his dress shirt before responding to her. He finally turned around to face her when he was left in his jeans and a white wife beater.
He obviously checked her out, not even attempting to be subtle about it. She rolled her eyes and scoffed at his action. He was such a jackass.
She was hot. She wore dark-washed skinny jeans, a floral printed t-shirt and had a braided headband to secure the hair off her face. He instantly liked her. She wasn't fake. He hated fake people.
"You haven't answered my question."
"Neither have you."
Nathan laughed slightly at her witty comebacks while he walked over and took a seat on his bed, next to her.
"I just don't feel like drinking tonight." He answered with a shrug.
"Then why have this party in the first place? I mean, if you're just escaping and not drinking?"
"I don't know. It's expected of me."
"That's dumb." Nathan nodded his head in agreement. He knew she was right.
"Now, will you tell me who the hell you are?"
"Haley."
"No last name?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"You don't deserve to know my last name."
"You're something else, you know that?" Nathan laughed. This girl was stubborn, if anything.
"Well, I'll give you my last name. Nath-"
"Nathan Scott. Please, of course I know your name." She interrupted.
"Why don't I know you, Haley?" He asked genuinely. This girl truly interested him.
"I'm not a cheerleader." She shrugged.
"I know girls who aren't cheerleaders." Nathan tried to defend himself, although he already knew that was useless.
"Okay, fine, I'm not a dancer, either. I'm not a girl with a super-hot body who likes to undress myself for you. In fact, I'm a tutor. Valedictorian in the making."
"Valedictorian, huh?" He asks, not even bothering to defend the other comments she made. He couldn't deny something that was true.
"Yup." She started, but decided that she wanted to finish their conversation from earlier, "And, you know, I pretty much hate your guts, so I try to avoid you as much as I can."
"You hate my guts? Why would that be?" He asks almost amused which causes the girl next to him to roll her eyes.
"I hate people who go out of their way to be rude to others."
"When have I ever been rude to you?"
"I'm not talking about me. I said other people. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, but when you constantly mess with someone for absolutely no reason, I can't stand that."
He knew that she had to be talking about when he ridiculed Lucas, he just didn't understand why the girl cared so much.
"How the hell do you know that I don't have a reason?"
"Because Lucas has never done anything wrong to you."
"Why do you care about Lucas? You his girlfriend or something?" She eyed him questioningly when he asked her that question harshly.
"No. He's my best friend. I spend more time with him and his mom then I do with my own family. It's been like that since we were seven."
"That's sweet." He said bitterly.
"What the hell is your problem?" She shot back.
"I don't have one."
She decided to drop it too, when he got off his bed and switched off the light. He returned and lay down on top of the sheets covering his bed. Even though he couldn't see her, he knew she had a confused look on her face from the newfound darkness.
"I guess I'll be going," Haley started after a moment's pause, "You know, so you can rest or whatever…" She trailed off.
Haley went to get off the bed but was brought to an abrupt stop when Nathan caught onto her wrist.
"No. Stay." Nathan pleaded.
Haley only nodded in response, laying back down onto the bed next to him, neither of them sure about the current situation. Nathan didn't know why he felt as if he needed her so much right now and Haley unsure as to why she agreed to stay.
"I don't mean to hurt Lucas." Nathan stated, breaking the silence.
Haley didn't want to believe him. Everything she heard about him, everything she knew about him was ringing in the back of her head, telling her to leave, but she couldn't deny the genuineness in his voice.
"What do you mean?" She asked, turning on her side to face him. She knew she shouldn't be there, that if someone caught her there she wouldn't be able to explain herself, explain her thought process.
"It's just Dan. He's such an ass. I mean, if you're Lucas' best friend, I'm sure you know…" He trailed off, looking at her through the darkness. She nodded her head in response.
"Yeah, I do know, but I know that because Dan is an ass to Lucas and I don't see Lucas going around being an ass to you because of it. I guess I just don't understand how those two things relate. If you don't like Dan pushing you around, then why do you do it to Lucas?"
"Well, it's different. Dan just ignores Lucas and that's the extent of it. But Dan pushes me. He forces me to practice all the time and he puts so much pressure on me. You know, I could play a decent game, where the Ravens win and I just want to be happy, but he's there on the sidelines, frowning because I made two stupid mistakes throughout the game."
"I get it, I do, but I still don't know what that has to do with Luke."
He sighed, having an inward battle with himself. He didn't want to tell her, or anyone, that he got so much shit from his dad because his brother was becoming better than him. His pride would certainly deteriorate. Even though he knew it, it would hurt too much to say it aloud. Not only that, but it would prove that he isn't all tough like he works so hard every day to make sure everyone thinks he is. He didn't want to be vulnerable.
The other half of him was screaming at him to tell her. He knew that talking about it, that admitting his feelings would probably make it feel better. He didn't know why, maybe it was the darkness, maybe it was the strange sense of familiarity that he got from sitting with a stranger, or maybe it was the nonjudgmental voice she spoke in, but he knew that he had to tell her. She had to be the one he spoke to, or else he wouldn't speak at all.
"He pressures me because there are only two things he's ever made sure I knew in my life. That Lucas is a bastard and that basketball is my game. Dan, he was always an ass, but he was my dad. Even though he always yelled at me, no matter how my game was, I always knew, that in some seriously twisted way, it just meant that he was proud of me. But then your friend has to come, take my game and you know what? He doesn't look like the bastard anymore because he's on top. Lucas is winning, Haley. He's taking away basketball and taking away any sort of fucked up positive relationship I've ever had with my dad. Now I have nothing."
Time froze. Haley had never felt so close yet far away from someone at the same time. She didn't know Nathan. She never did personally. She never felt right when she would say she hated him, but knew that it was somewhat justified because of the way he treated her best friend.
At this moment, it was different. She almost disliked Lucas for a second after hearing Nathan's side and his view. She knew that Lucas never intended to take away any stable ground underneath Nathan, and that his joining basketball was something that he did solely for him, but he still hurt Nathan.
Haley didn't know how to react to his sudden revelation. She just sat there, frozen.
"I guess you're going to go back out to that party and tell your little friend about this now. Tell him how weak his brother really is." He laughed nervously. He didn't know what to make of her silence, but in the end he didn't take it very well.
Haley immediately put a hand on his chest and he turned to look into her eyes. Nathan laying on his back, looking up at Haley who was laying awfully close to him on her side.
"I would never do that." She whispered honestly.
He believed her.
The room grew quiet again. They both stayed still, not daring to move an inch. Nathan had never met somebody so honest and neither had Haley.
She was caught in the moment again; she wanted him to kiss her.
And he did. And she kissed him back.
Haley would've thought that lying in Nathan Scott's arms would make her feel many different things; regret, sorrow, hurt. Yet, Haley only felt comfort. It felt right. She wasn't thinking about losing her virginity at a house party to a boy she hated only moments before, or about how she was betraying her best friend, the person who knows her better than anybody else. She was only thinking about the complete solace she got out of it and how she never wanted it to end.
Red finger nail polish, peeling like sunburn
That black designer dress looks better underneath our feet
Your knees on the dirt
End Flashback
"Looking for me?" the younger Scott brother asks, while sitting beside the honey blonde at one of the tables along the edge of the River Court.
She breaks away from her trance and looks at the boy sitting next to her.
"Does it look like I'm looking for anyone? Besides, this is the River Court as in Lucas' shrine; I don't think I'd be looking for you here." She said, eyebrow raised.
He shrugs in response and smirks at her. Comfortable silence comes over them for a moment, until she breaks it, realizing the truth behind her last statement. What the hell was he doing here?
"You come here often?" She asked.
He looked at her, questioningly, shrugging off the seriousness of her question.
"Geez, Haley, if I didn't know any better, I'd of guessed you were coming onto me with some pickup line. Oh, wait, I do know better."
"Ha. Ha." She pushed him slightly, laughing.
"Really, Nathan, what are you doing here?" Her question didn't have any sort of annoyance of disapproval wringing through it, just utter curiosity.
"Looking for you."
Haley nodded, understanding what he meant. She looked around her quickly, before attaching her lips to his, allowing him to pick her up and bring her to his car where they can finish what they started.
Flashback
"We've got to stop meeting up like this." She says, half-jokingly, while taking a seat next to him in the sand.
He looks up at her and smiles. He doesn't sense that she feels awkward about this, but he doesn't say anything just in case.
She eyes him, curiously.
"Sorry, I didn't realize I wasn't allowed to speak to you." She stated, with hurt dripping from her voice as she got up to leave.
He pulled at her shirt, "I'm sorry, don't go. Please."
Haley took a seat back down, turning around and taking in the scenery around her. She realized that this night is so far going like it did exactly a week ago when they first spoke. The abandoned party behind them, the upset and sober Nathan, even the eerily similar dialogue. She knew, by the way he was looking at her, that soon enough it would end up exactly like last week.
And it did.
And it did many times after that.
She says to meet her there, beside the power station
And she said she'd let me stare
If the chemicals don't keep her waiting
End Flashback
"Do you ever think about telling anyone about us? That way we can make it a real relationship?"
"You want a real relationship?" I ask, lifting my head off his bare chest and looking into his eyes.
"Of course I do. You know that by now."
"No I don't, Nathan. I don't have any reason to believe you could ever function in an actual relationship." I shout out, defensively. I sit up quickly, wanting to be distant from him and his touch. I don't bother trying to cover up my completely naked form; he knows it all too well by now anyway.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I can see the hurt flash through his eyes and I feel bad.
"Sorry," I begin, lying back down into his chest, "You just know that I don't like when you say things like that. This isn't about a relationship, Nathan, it's just physical."
"You're in denial. I know how much you're risking with this, Haley. If this were truly just physical than you would have found some other guy that wouldn't cause issues with you and Lucas."
"Maybe you're right. But what about you? Why should I believe you want a relationship? You're not losing anything because of this."
"If it were just physical for me, then I would've been just physical with other girls for the past year too."
I gasp in response, and once again meet his gaze.
"What?" I'm certain I know what he means by this sudden outburst, but I have to be sure.
"I haven't slept with or even kissed any other girl since I've first been with you, Haley."
I feel a huge weight lift off my shoulders, a weight that I didn't even know was there in the first place. I sigh in happiness and relief and begin to kiss his chest.
"You're important to me, Haley. I would never hurt you." I can hear his voice becoming strained, most likely because of the kisses that I continue to place lower and lower on his naked form.
"I appreciate what we have and that's why I want it to be more. I need you to be with me, Haley."
"I am with you." I mumble against his very lower abdomen. My ministrations on him causing a haze to form in my mind. God, what this must be doing to him. How is he still able to form any coherent sentences?
"No. You're not. I want to be able to protect you and hold you and kiss you in public. I want to be able to get openly mad when I see some guy hitting on you or be allowed to stare at you at lunch without being questioned."
I stop and sit up, crawling over him and kissing him on the lips. I want to tell him that I want all those things too, because I do, but I can't. We can't.
"I'm sorry." I shake my head 'no'.
"Yeah, so am I." He sighs, sitting up and pulling on his boxers.
"Where are you going?" I ask, not bothering to cover up the hurt in my voice. He knows me by now; he'd know it was there anyway.
"We can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much."
"Nathan-" I'm interrupted at the noise of a shut door. I cry myself to sleep that night.
She answers the door naked. I take a second to check her out.
"What are you doing here?"
"Why are you naked?"
"You didn't answer my question."
"Neither did you."
She smirks and lets me step into her room. I don't bother sitting on her bed yet.
"I just got out of a very relaxing bath, if you must know."
"You know they have these neat new things called robes. Or, you know, clothes in general. Why are you answering your door naked anyway?" I ask and I cringe at the jealousy I can so clearly hear in my voice.
"I was just going to my room to get changed when I heard the door."
"So you figured you'd just answer the door nude?"
"It's called a peephole, Nathan. I knew it was you."
I swallow the large lump in my throat. I check her out again. Her admission and body getting to me.
"So, why are you here? It's been a week since we've last slept together or even spoke with each other for that matter." She asks, but we both know she's just playing with me. We both know why I'm here.
"I've missed you." I state, desperately, grabbing onto the bare flesh of her waist to pull her closer to me. I kiss her before she has a chance to say anything.
We're back in her bed. Back where I belong, where we belong together. If it's the only Haley I can have, I'll take it. I don't care, I need it.
I need her.
Well, I'm always coming down from the night before where I left you
I'm always coming down, but I'm doing my best to get caught
I'm always coming down from the night before when I met you
To hear what gets you off
A/N: Okay, my second One Tree Hill fanfic.
This was the most intense, and longest, oneshot that I have ever written and am still unsure about it. I would really appreciate feedback.
I'm sorry if it ever got confusing, with the flashbacks and the narrative constantly changing, I just wanted to bring in perspective.
Anyway, I would really appreciate reviews. It'll obviously help me better myself as a writer, which is something that I'm always looking to do.
Also,Music is a huge part of my life, therefore also a huge part of my writing. So I'm going to start a new thing where I write a list of all the songs I listened to while writing this fanficiton because they all affected this story. So, if you want to listen to some while reading, or listen after, or listen before, or completely ignore it is up to you. Just thought I'd share.
What Gets You Off?- Jack's Mannequin
At Full Speed- Jack's Mannequin
Use Somebody- Kings of Leon
Konstantine- Something Corporate
Iris- Goo Goo Dolls
You're Beautiful- James Blunt
Diane, the Skyscraper- Jack's Mannequin
My Racing Thoughts- Jack's Mannequin
Swim (Music Box)- Jack's Mannequin
Someone Like You- Adele
-Megan AKA ToBecomeAClown