My name is Keigh. My father is a demon named Crowley. He basically works for this chick named Lilith. Now she's a real creep, but that's another story. Crowley's not so bad. I mean, some dads are better or worse than others, sure, but you only get one and he could be worse. From what I hear, he's really grown up a lot since his human days.
I know. You'd think it would be reassuring that he had at least once been human, but trust me (or don't), he was way worse as a human. It started with his mom, who was all around awful and beat him up, even tried to sell him. Then when he had a son, Gavin, he beat him up and treated him like dirt. I guess he learned something in hell, though, not that that makes a lot of sense, but we actually get along okay most of the time.
My biggest bone to pick with him is that he won't tell me anything at all about my mother. He won't even tell me what she was, so I'm missing out on half my species. Seriously. Would it hurt me to know whether she was a demon, or a human, or what? Maybe he's worried that I'd think he was weak if he admitted she was human or something, but if so, I wish he'd just tell me. I'd rather know. I don't think it would bother me or anything. After all, she's my mother, whoever she is or was, right?
Crowley keeps saying nobody knows everything about their parents, and he never knew who his dad was, so why should I know all about my mom? Then he'll say mothers are no good anyway, because his mum hated him. This annoys me. I think he knows who my mom is, I mean it would be kind of hard not to, right? What with her being the one that's pregnant and all that. So what right does he have to not tell me? Maybe it's a demon who can make him not tell, like Lilith or somebody, but it can't be Lilith because I got him to swear that it wasn't her. I was kind of freaking out, because I thought it must be her, and he gave in and told me that much. So at least I'm not related to that freak. Who else scares Crowley? I mean, he's pretty high up there, working for Lilith and all that.
Yipes. She better not find this, or I'm in trouble. I didn't think of that. Well, I wrote what I wrote. No taking it back now. Anyway, Crowley would probably find a way to get me out of whatever she was going to do. I mean, she is a freak, so she can just get over it, right?
I'm not actually as old as I look. That makes it hard to have any friends, especially when my dad only works with demons or people like Bela who are equally bad but just haven't ever died yet. Everybody else is like hundreds of years old and hates everybody either except or including themself. I'm like less than a decade old, and I really don't want to hate everybody, but there aren't that many decent likeable demons around, and Crowley doesn't want me running around with humans all the time. I guess Ruby is okay. When she's not on a mission, she's still just as selfish, but she gets more laid back and bordering on friendly. And with my dad, it's complicated, but sometimes I don't mind him. He can be okay.
I guess the only time I really had friends was when I talked Crowley into letting me go to school. I begged and begged for like forever (okay I have a small perspective) but he just said there was nowhere to send me.
"Dad, please, can I go to school?"
"Why do you want to go to school? You just want to associate with other brats your age, or what?"
"I want to learn stuff. Also I just really want to go to school. Please?"
"Well, I won't send you to hell. I really don't think you want what Alastair thinks is a good education. If this was five hundred years ago, I would consider it."
"No, not hell, Daddy. Regular school. Like on Earth."
"Keigh, are you serious? I really doubt you'd learn much from those pathetic mortals. They can't even button their shirts straight."
"Dad!" I complained. Just then Dean and Sam Winchester walked past one of the cameras Dad had hacked, and I saw what he meant. Sam had only the bottom two buttons buttoned, and Dean had some of the buttons in the wrong holes and didn't seem to have even noticed. He hadn't tied his sneakers, either.
"See what I'm saying?"
That was the end of that particular conversation. We had a lot of them. Eventually I gave up, so I was really surprised when I caught him talking to the Trickster over Skype. They were plotting to send me back in time to go to school for a month for some special reason. I was super pleased, so I didn't tell Crowley that I heard anything, and I didn't ask why they wanted to send me back in time to that particular school and month.
Imagine my surprise when two other new kids arrived the same day as me. Sam and Dean Winchester. They were so little! Dean was a senior, and Sam was a freshman. Dean was actually pretty cute. I didn't know too much about the Winchesters, just that they were particularly dangerous hunters whom I should avoid at all costs. I was pretty confused about why my dad and the Trickster would want me to meet them as kids my age. Maybe I was supposed to kill them so they couldn't grow up?
I also had to be a freshman, just because I only got about two months' notice, and I looked like six when I was begging Dad to send me there. I managed to grow to look like I was eleven or twelve, so I could sort of pass as a freshman, but not really. I was pretty smart, though, so I was believable on the academic front. Ruby tutored me a lot that fall, which I did not object to. I'm really good at math and memorization, which helped. Figuring out how to write essays that would fit in okay or art was trickier. I had no idea what I was aiming for. The only "writing" I'd ever seen were business letters and records Crowley wrote. Now I had to figure out how to sound like a kid. I think I weirded out my teachers a little, but that wasn't really a problem. I just naturally wore all black, since that's what Crowley wears, and I was a little too excited about learning to wear makeup, so I looked the part. Goth, or whatever.
That's probably why Dirk picked on Sam and not me. That, and Sam tried to defend his favorite victim, Barry what's-his-name. I thought Sam seemed like a pretty nice kid, but he avoided me like the plague. I guess I must have given him creepy vibes, too. Dean was another story. He flirted with literally all the girls in the school. I hear that in the first minute of class, he called his teacher sweetheart and sugar. I agreed he was cute, but he acted like a real brat. He pretended to have a crush on me, but he was also going with this girl named Amanda, and flirting with a million other girls (yeah, not a million, but literally like twenty or thirty girls). Eventually I was just annoyed. I tried to ignore him, so he gave up on me and ignored me back. Then I got a crush on him again. At least we were only there for a month. I hope I never see him again.
I really liked school itself, though. Just having a normal experience, or normal for somebody anyway. Humans. Some of the stuff they did in math was really pretty cool, although it took me a couple of weeks to catch up and figure out what was going on. Some of the teachers assumed I was a bad kid, but some of them could see that I really wanted to learn stuff and were happy to teach me. I explained to my math teacher, who was really nice (it was actually kind of scary) that I probably would have to leave in less than a month and might not be able to go to school again for a while, and he actually gave me textbooks for high school math up through pre-calculus to work on at home. I considered it an early Christmas present, probably my first and last one. (Demons don't celebrate Christmas. If you are smart, you can guess why.)
English was hard, but also kind of fascinating. Of course, my punctuation and grammar were nearly perfect, but I had no idea what to write about. For my first essay, I just wrote about going on a raid with my dad when I was two. We stole from a real bank, spray-painted some important buildings, and all sorts of stuff. Dad even let me hold the spray paint can and try to do graffiti myself. It was so much fun. We also stole from a couple of stores, and made some humans go crazy and yell at and attack each other. It was really fun.
For some reason, the teacher freaked out and sent me to the principal's office. I realized I was about to get in trouble, so I told him it was fiction. He believed me and just asked me to tone it down a little.
Well, if that was too scary, I didn't know what to write about, so next time I just described the desk in the corner. Unfortunately, it didn't fit the prompt, and I flunked it, but the teacher did write a positive comment and smiley face, with the admonition to stick to the prompt next time. It wasn't that good, anyway, just a way to fill the page.
By the end of my month, I was writing essays that got a mixture of A's and D's. It was really fascinating trying to guess how the teacher would react and what things were boring, scary, or both. Difficult, sure, but Crowley wouldn't care what grades I got. For him to be disappointed in me, I'd have to, like, not cause enough trouble or something.
I don't remember a ton from my experience at school- after all, I was actually like three years old- but it was fun and I definitely learned a lot about people and how to interact with humans.
When I got back home, Crowley asked me what I thought of the Winchester boys. I just told him Sam was quiet and Dean was an obnoxious flirt. Crowley agreed with me and seemed to think that was funny. I guess, as far as he is concerned, my description is still just as applicable. I don't know. Dean seems more cool but also scarier, and less of a silly teenage idiot. But I didn't say any of that to my dad. I don't know so much about what Sam is actually like. Nobody tells me anything; it's like he's this big secret and I don't understand what's so exciting about him.
Apparently Dean is headed for Hell now, because something happened to Sam and Dean made a deal to bring him back. I don't really know what happened, and nobody will explain it to me, but I know Dean's deal ends in a few months. Then he'll go to Hell, and maybe become a demon too, but probably not for a really long time. I wonder what will happen to Sam Winchester when he's alone, without his brother to protect him. The two of them together are nearly unstoppable, but with Dean safely in the pound, Sam will be a sitting duck. I hope there's not too much chaos with everybody trying to fight over him. I don't like war. It's too messy and unpredictable, and you don't know who will come up on top. If you're on the winning side, you're in serious backstabbing territory. If your side loses, you're in big trouble with the victors, and you probably won't have much of a life. But if you don't pick a side, everybody will hate you. Now add five or six sides, plus a few powerful independent lunatics fighting for their own twisted goals, and- yeah. War in Hell.
I really hope that Winchester brat finds himself a way out of this. Thing is, Dad seems pretty excited about having Dean in Hell, and I don't know why. Maybe he has some good reason. Maybe, um, Dean's death opens a mathematical relationship between people in hell and free money on Earth or something? I don't know. I don't have a lot of ideas that make much sense.