Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Rosario Vampire. Why? I'm a sad poor boy and nobody loves me. On that note- if I did own it the series would have a hard headed, hero complex, and perverted protagonist instead of well…Tsukune. I mean I like the guy but…sigh anyway you don't care about this so just read and I hope you enjoy my first fanfic.

Chapter 1- The Indestructible Idiot and The Cowardly Genius

Two young men sat in the back of a school bus as it seemed to speed through a freakish tunnel as they carried a hush conversation that they obviously didn't want to be heard.

"…You killed him." Spoke a highly refined young man. His name was Takashi Isoda. He wore a green blazer with white crosses styled into the cuffs and a white undershirt worn under the impeccable buttoned up coat with a red tie with a shining pin of a rising phoenix on the left side of his collar of his blazer. He his pants were obviously ironed light brown khakis and dark brown dress shoes. He had shoulder length chestnut brown hair that was swept to the right and matching brown eyes. He was a tall fellow standing at 6'0 with a lanky build that seemed to bring even more attention to his height. His current face was one of worry which replaced the usual look of sheer arrogance which made the man beside him take him all the more seriously.

"Really! I failed to notice the bloodcurdling scream of agony over your girlish screech! Besides I technically didn't kill him…and I didn't see you going over and helping him." Spoke the other teen. This man was named Auden. He seemed to be almost the exact opposite of the other man. While his friend was tall, Auden was 5'6. Instead of prudish nobility he was slouched and relaxed. Even the outfit he wore was different. He wore the same blazer as the other teen but was left open with the white undershirt unbuttoned and with the top few buttons left free. His pants were a pair of slightly worn blue jeans and a simple set of dark grey sneakers. Of course almost none of this stuck out more than the mans' lazily style dark orange hair that was spiked in the front which seemed to hide the golden egg placed unwaveringly on the center of his head. He had a small scar that traced along the outside left corner of his chin that was faded from the years he got it alongside the scars that traced the young mans' fists. His normally easygoing Ice blue eyes were now narrowed at his "friend" as he spoke.

"Excuse me for freaking out for seeing the guy right next to me, whom I had been speaking to for the last ten minutes get pu-"

"You two are going to Yokai Academy huh…" The man driving the bus stated more than asked. "Prepare yourselves now if you can."

The two teens turned and looked at each other then turned back to the scary looking bus driver. Takashi found himself forced as the spokesman for the two since his orange haired friend refused to speak.

"Um. Why exactly do we need to prepare ourselves for school? I mean we already have all of our equipment and some ex-"Takashi found himself interrupted once again by the bus driver.

"Yokai Academy is a vvvveeerrrrryyyy scary place…" Creepy bus driver said as he looked in the rear view mirror giving the two young men a perfect view of his creepy glowing eyes that were the only part of his face under his nose overshadowed by his hat.

Auden found himself staring blankly at the man. "…Okay freaky guy. Just gonna take your word for it."

Looking away from the bus driver Auden leaned over and whispered to Takashi with a large grin on his face. "Hey can you believe this guy? What a weirdo right?" When Auden actually looked at his brown haired friend he found a sight that wasn't all that surprising to him.

"And of course…you're petrified in fear." Sure enough Takashi was sitting there with a face of abject horror.

Before the orange haired teen could start making fun of his friend the bus driver promptly slammed on the brakes causing the two to smash their faces into the seats in front of them.

"We're here kiddos…" Said the bus driver as he turned back to look at the two kids and seeing them holding their faces.

"You all okay?"

Both glared at the man but didn't give him a response as they both grabbed their bags and left the bus. They looked around and took in their surroundings. Both saw that the sky was a grey blanket, overcast as far as the eyes could see, despite the fact it had been a bright, sunny day when they boarded and honestly, it hardly even looked like Japan anymore, standing next to a scarecrow with the expanse of dead trees looking like the aftermath of a forest fire, blood red water of the seashore that was visible over a sheer cliff face completed the bleak landscape. In the distance they could make out tombstones in the distance and the headstones simply made the aura of the place even more frightening to anyone.

"This place reminds me of my old apartment…" If everyone didn't include the oblivious orange haired teen who couldn't seem to sense the feeling in the air.

Without any hesitation he began the trek towards the silhouette of what appeared to be a textbook haunted mansion with one hand in his pocket and the other over his shoulder holding his bag. Auden barely got five steps before he heard a cry of "WATCH OUT!" Turning his head, Auden had enough time to see two things. One- There was a wheel of a bicycle heading straight for his face. Two- Whoever road the bike had a liking for the color pink.

Quickly bending his back at an angle that forced his spine to crack several times and the tire only barely touched his nose and even as the high speed tire burned his nose to the point where trails of smoke came off his smoke from the friction he couldn't get rid of the perverted grin on his face that didn't even move an inch as blood shot out of his nose. Whether it was from his own thoughts or from the bike even he didn't know. After the bike landed and rode off towards the school with only the sounds of her apologies and a glint of pink in the distance Auden kept himself bent at a ninety degree angle and stayed there unmoving till the gold egg atop his head finally began to fall only to be caught in his free hand directly behind his head with his expression unchanging. Takashi decided he had seen enough and walked up to him.

"It's nice to know that your bad luck hasn't changed. So you ok?" Asked Takashi.

"Heh heh…I think my new favorite color is pink buddy."

"Sigh. Of course it is. Idiot."

~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X

Both Takashi and Auden walked into the haunted looking school and admired the interior of the frightening school. Auden looked at Takashi but before he could even open his mouth his friend beat him to the punch.

"We missed the opening ceremony and considering the schedules we were given through mail a week ago we still have time to get to our homeroom. That is what you were gonna ask, right?"

"…Teme. Do you know where it is though?" Muttered the scarred young man as he followed his friend who seemed to know where he was going.

"Feh. Of course I do. Unlike you I took my time to memorize the map. Did you even look at your schedule? Wait don't bother answering that! I already know."

"Arrogant asshole."

"Dumbass."

"Skinny jerk."

"Short idiot."

"Tall know-it-all"

"Egghead."

"…ASSHOLE!" Right in the middle of the hall Auden grabbed the taller teen and spun Takashi around and grabbed his left arm and locked it and put him into a cobra twist and began to lean causing Takashi to let out a scream. Or he would have if he hadn't spotted some attractive women who were walking to their classes. Instead he put on a completely impassive yet quickly color changing face.

"YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT EGG-CHAN!"

"I. Was. Talking. About. You. Idiot!" Takashi managed to gasp out and as if those were the magic words the orange haired man released his not so close friend who stood as if he wasn't about to be choked to death.

"Oh…Well that's ok then." Auden said with a wide smile. Patting Takashi on the back he spoke again.

"Lead the way buddy!"

"I don't like you." Takashi said but once again continued back to their classroom that luckily wasn't that far away. In fact it took less than a minute for them to enter the class.

Noticing that there were still quite a bit of open seats the two both took a seat in the middle to the far side so they were right next to the windows with Auden sitting directly behind Takashi. With both in their seats it didn't take long for the room to fill up with student and the bell rang which led to their teacher walking in. Most of the class quieted down when they saw her walk in. Takashi and Auden were also silent but had a far different reaction upon seeing her. Gaping mouths, wide eyes, and plenty of drool.

"Heh heh…" Auden chuckled quietly as he openly stared.

"…I agree." Mumbled Takashi.

Their teacher was an incredibly beautiful young woman who seemed to just have an exuberant personality. She had wild neck length hair that was a light almost blonde brunette that got darker at the tips and had to tuffs of hair sticking out atop her head that resembled cat ears. She wore a pair of oval shaped glasses over her ever squinting eyes. She had a dark short skirt and a tiger striped tank top underneath an open short sleeved dress shirt. With her wonderful figure combined with her choice of clothes she looked like a total knockout.

"I'm so happy we came here…" Whispered Auden with a perverted grin he didn't even bother to hide.

"Hello and Welcome to Yokai Academy! It's such a pleasure to have all of you as a part of my homeroom. My name is Shizuka Nekonome, your current homeroom teacher!" She introduced herself with her bubbly personality which was quickly apparent to all.

"And as you know Yokai Academy is a school for monsters!"

"Huh?" "What?" Both teens said. They were about to laugh at the unexpected joke before the two looked around the room and noticed that no one else seemed to be even surprised about what she had just said.

'…this isn't good.' Thought Takashi and Auden both.

Both their faces changed from swooning into faces of abject fear. As if they could smell their fear a large bear sized man spoke up.

"I think I smell a human in here." His nostrils flared as he spoke. "Maybe two…smells delicious!" He started to laugh very creepily at the end.

"Oh that's not possible-" Nekonome-sensei looked down at her clipboard in her hand then back up at the giant and resuming. "Saizou-san. There is no way for humans to find this school. After all, no human is given a form for this school, let alone be enrolled here!"

Takashi was freaking out! What the hell did Auden get them into! They were gonna die! Of course none of those thought were made known on his face. He was far too cool for something as small this little revelation to shatter his mask of indifference. Auden however did not have the same self-control. The fool seemed to always show his emotions in the most blunt of ways. This was no different really. Turning back he couldn't help but sweatdrop at the site. The short teen was obviously shaking like a leaf as he gripped his desk with sweat dripping down his face.

"Anyway this school is to help monsters to blend and live alongside humans! A student shouldn't be so hung up on killing humans."

The orcish man just snorted at that. "Better idea! Why don't we just eat all the guys and rape all the beautiful-" CRASH!

Everyone's heads quickly turned to see the window in the far back was shattered by a thrown desk exactly like the one all the students were sitting in. The only big difference was this desk was the one Auden was sitting in it before he chunked it out the window only to follow after it not long after and leaped out the window as if it wasn't two stories up. Everyone stared stunned at this until Nekonome-sensei laughed it off.

"Must've had the wrong homeroom!"

Takashi looked out the window and watched as Auden ran towards where they came from. Takashi quickly decided that his friend had a great idea, just very poor execution.

"Sensei, may I please be excused to go to the bathroom?" Takashi asked in a calm voice that belayed the insurmountable horror he felt inside.

"Of course! Be back quick though. Don't want to miss too much after all!"

Standing calmly and walking through the door and slowly shutting it behind him. He took one very large and deep breath.

"AAAAHHHH!" Then the frightened girlish scream escaped him as the run for his life began only to not even get a single step in before he ran into a pink haired girl and knocked her to the ground. When she hit the ground Takashi took a moment to look at her. From the ground the pink haired girl looked up at him and was about to speak but before she could even get in a single word Takashi calmly jogged away and around a corner…where the screams of a frightened of a little girl once again were heard that confused the pinkette even more. She cocked her head cutely to the side in confusion.

Before she could even try to stand, another man walked out of the room. He towered over the girl by a good two feet even if she was standing. On the ground as she was she couldn't help but be even more intimidated by the monster. His grin was borderline psychotic. He had slicked back brown hair and a face covered in piercings. He was bulky from his many muscles covering his body. Saizou looked down and threw and admiring stare her way before looking away muttering "Later." Under his breath as he then began to follow the previous man who ran out screaming. Overwhelmed with curiosity, the pink haired beauty stood up and stared after them.

~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X

Auden stood at the scarecrow where they were originally let off the bus looking for any hint of the man. Looking at the note on the scarecrow that listed the times when the bus would come he couldn't help but frown at what he saw on the slip of paper. Before he could ponder his next plan of extreme action he heard the girlish scream of his only friend. Turning around Auden was welcome to the site of Takashi calmly walking towards him acting as if he wasn't the one who was screaming. With a grin Auden couldn't help but ask.

"Did you see the little girl who was letting out all those screams?"

"Nope…Didn't see much of anyone on my way here. Must be the wind."

"Obviously. Well got some bad news for ya buddy, no bus till the first of next month.."

Takashi merely frowned as he too read the times for the bus and turned back to look at Auden who pulled the egg of his head and began to roll the egg along his knuckles. Takashi sighed and decided to bring up the topic of the day.

"There can't seriously be monsters at this school. It has to be some type of gag they came up with."

"Meh, even if there were monsters here I'm pretty sure we could take em. Well…I'm pretty sure I could take them on! Hahahah!" Auden began to laugh while he placed his egg back in his hair which only seemed to anger Takashi.

"Shut up! Don't you understand how serious this is! If by some chance it's true that these guys are monsters do you realize how lucky we are just to have lasted this long!"

"And your luck just ran out." Both teens quickly turned around to see the hulking form of Saizou approaching them. He gave off a chuckle as he continued.

"I have to admit. At first I didn't think there were actually any humans here but the smell of two so close by to someone that's devoured as many humans as I have!" The monster kept approaching at a leisurely gait which only made the humans even tenser.

Auden turned and whispered to Takashi. "He doesn't look all that tough." And as soon as those words were spoken, Saizou began to undergo a transformation. His size seemed to double as his skin began to crack and become denser with every step he took. Spines erupted from each shoulder and his tongue seemed to elongate by several feet with teeth that probably could have been found in a sharks jaw. All in all, the originally scary man was now a terrifying monster who looked like something from a horror movie.

"…Maybe he's not as tough as he looks." Takashi's only response was a simple "Idiot.".

Saizou let out a deep baritone laugh as he looked down at the two scared teens. "Hope you all taste better than you look."

"Well, not like we could look much worse than you chump." Auden, bless his soul, had just started the most one sided fight of his life with that comment.

Saizou gave out a thunderous roar as he charged the arrogant short teen. With a cry of fright Takashi dodged to the side attempting to avoid the warpath of the charging monster while Auden gave a small grin as he stood his ground as the beast approached. Takashi proved to be to slow to dodge and was hit by a clothesline for his trouble while Auden dropped to his back and brought his leg up into a kick to the monsters groin only for it to feel as if his foot was shattered from the impact and was then trampled by Saizou as he kept running past them to the other side of the clearing as if he were a bull.

Takashi laid motionless on the ground as Auden brought himself up to his knees while holding his nearly crushed chest. Auden looked over at Takashi and noticed the man who seemed to be dead.

"You alright teme?" Takashi's head barely moved as he whispered back to Auden. "Bastards arm is made of iron. Felt like a damn truck hit me."

"Heh, I was ran over by the same damn truck! Well we can at least agree on one thing now…"

"Hmm?"

"Looks like Saizou is overcompensating for something. No wonder he has to resort to rape!" Takashi let out a brief chuckle and replied.

"I didn't think you heard that part while you were busy jumping out the window."

"Smartass…"

"I'm going to kill you!" Yelled Saizou as he once again began to charge the two downed friends. Auden looked at Takashi who remained unmoving and with a dark chuckle, he forced himself onto shaky legs.

"Looks like I have to save your cowardly ass once again huh. Pretty good thing I'm indestructible!" Auden said as he then forced his legs to take off straight to the right in hopes of getting Saizou to follow him away from his friend.

The move worked as well as he could've hoped as Saizou began to veer off course and headed towards Auden. It seemed like the right thing to do until he was forced to skid to a halt, just barely stopping in time to avoid a steep drop off to the ground by the red sea. Turning around Auden found that Saizou was still charging him. Quickly reaching into his blazer he pulled out an aerosol spray can and a zippo lighter. Flipping the lighter open and lighting it he held it out and prepared to fire his impromptu flamethrower. Holding his ground, Auden waited for the charging monster to get closer before he let loose with a jet of flames that hit Saizou. Unfortunately for Auden the flames seemed to not have much if any effect and with speed unfitting for someone so big, he was right in front of Auden with the flames spreading across his chest not slowing Saizou at all. The monster had luckily for them stopped before taking them both over the cliff.

"Ahh crap."

With a flick of the giants wrist he smacked both the lighter and aerosol can out of the teens hands and with another quick motion easily grabbed the human. Saizous giant hand easily covered Auden's whole chest with a single hand and managed to catch his right hand as well. He then lifted the human over the edge of the cliff and started to laugh.

"Where's that cocky attitude now!" Asked Saizou as he slowly began to add a crippling pressure to the man's chest as if to slowly torture him. Auden forced a grin as his free arm started to punch Saizou's arm but the feeble attempt was easily ignored.

"Oh that- *cough* It must've shrunk just like your penis did thanks to those steroids. Maybe you should la-GAH!" Saizou suddenly tightened his grip to the point where a sickening pop was heard as his right arm was dislocated and a few of his ribs cracked.

Saizou sneered at the human. "I'm going to make this as painful as possible now!" He obviously didn't much appreciate the comment.

Auden found himself unwillingly screaming in pain as Saizou began to crack him like a walnut. Closing his mouth and gritting his teeth, thoughts on possible escape raced through his mind while Auden forced the pain back and ignored it as if the pain was nothing but a mild discomfort. His face relaxed from one of extreme pain into one of unwavering confidence and a determined glint lit up in his eyes. 'CRACK' One of his ribs finally gave out and went from cracked to full out broken. Auden didn't even flinch.

"Your bones are surprisingly strong for a humans." Saizou said with a smug grin on his face.

"Or maybe you're just weak for a monster. Hell, you aren't even man enough to look me in the eyes as ya kill me. Pretty damn pathetic."

Grin was quickly replaced with a sneer as he brought him closer to his face and stared him right in the eyes as he yelled in Auden's face. " How about now!"

Auden's grin spread even wider if it was possible. "Now? Now I think you're an idiot!" With his free left hand he shoved his index and middle fingers as deep as possible into Saizou's right eye. With a cry of pain Auden was dropped barely onto the ledge of the cliff where he quickly ran around the orcish beast and ran beside Takashi and looked down at the man who still hadn't moved after all that and was still playing possum.

"Psst! I need your help here."

Takashi didn't even move as he replied. "Can't…too risky."

"You'll be out of the way. Not even a scratch to ya."

"…What do you want me to do?"

"Simple. Just get behind him and just kneel there so you can trip him."

"I hate you so much."

Despite how much Takashi wanted to stay away from Saizou, Takashi's brilliant mind had already seen all possible outcomes of this fight and this was the only one where he saw even a chance of winning. Not bothering to even stand up, Takashi began to crawl into position utilizing Saizou's newly formed blind spot and stayed kneeled there. Takashi gave Auden a thumbs up to show that he was ready while Auden responded back with a nod. With the loudest roar he could manage with his crushed chest Auden charged the giant orc and tackled him with his dislocated shoulder forcefully popping it back into place. Unfortunately for him, tackling the monster was like ramming a freight chain. Although it obviously hurt Auden far more than Saizou it was still enough to make the monster stumble back a single step causing the monster to trip over Takashi and take both Auden and Saizou over the edge.

"AAAAHHHH!"

Human and monster screamed together as they flew through the air down towards the edge of the sea where there was a small bit of land for them to land on. Auden quickly grabbed the egg from atop his head straight up into the air. They both were approaching the ground quickly. Auden deciding that he didn't want to hit ground first positioned himself above Saizou and thinking that he might as well hit the monster again prepped himself or an elbow slam with his right arm into Saizou's ugly mug for when then hit the ground. When Saizou hit the ground he barely managed to bounce off the ground before the short teen plowed into the man's nose once again forcing him to hit the ground hard enough to both give him a minor headache and a broken nose due to the elbow. Auden however hit the monster as if he had just collided into a brick wall and once again dislocated the same arm. Rolling off of Saizou and onto the ground Auden merely groaned in pain as he laid on the sand. Without looking he stuck out his left hand and grabbed the falling egg and settled it back into his hair.

Barely capable of opening his eyes Auden let out a brief chuckle. "Should've hit the ground… Would've been softer."

"I'm going to kill you!"

Looking up Auden saw the form of Saizou once again standing on two feet. The monster was barely hurt with a bloody nose, missing right eye, and was hunching more than usual. Quite frankly the monster seemed hurt but in comparison to the human laying down in front of him he was just dandy. Auden had his right arm dislocated, cracked and broken ribs, a bad case of whip lash from his fall, and all of the blood filling his mouth was most likely a sign of some internal injuries. Took all he had just to stand with the assistance of the cliff wall. Still didn't stop him from grinning and opening his big mouth.

"You seem to say that quite a bit. Maybe at some point you could stop boring me and do it already." Auden then in a show of defiance spat a glob of blood at Saizou. It didn't even reach the half way before it hit the floor but the thought behind the action was quite clear.

Needless to say Saizou didn't appreciate the thought and ran up to the almost crippled man and backhanded him with enough strength to send him skipping across the ground till he stopped about twenty three feet before sliding to a stop face down again. With a grunt once again forcing himself on wobbly legs. Slouched and breathing ragged Auden just grinned at the monster in front of him. 'Come on stupid body, we just need to last a little bit longer. We can still win!'

"Why won't you just die already!" Saizou roared as he charged the teen once again. Auden chuckled as he wobbled forward in his own lame attempt at a charge.

"I can't! I'm indestructible!" Coughed out Auden in return as he forced himself forward.

Both injured parties rushed eachother with unwavering confidence in themselves. One based his reasoning on being a superior being than his human opponent while the other's was based solely on the fact that he had never lost no matter the odds. Saizou cocked his fist back as he ran which Auden couldn't even manage to copy. Soon they were a mere ten feet away. Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Saizou began to swing at Auden. His clawed fist neared the humans face and was merely inches away.

*CRUNCH!* Blood sprayed everywhere as a pain filled scream erupted out of the unlucky victim only to be silenced by another sickening *CRUNCH!*

Auden found himself, for once, stunned into silence as he watched a giant black scaled serpentine head of whatever the hell it was just devoured Saizou in a flash. The black scaled beast made eye contact with Auden but quickly dismissed him and returned to its' home in the blood red water beside the human. Seconds passed in silence as Auden stood there in shock trying to process what just happened. When he did a large grin returned to his face.

"heh…haha…AHAHAHAHA!" Auden's laughter could've been heard for miles. "HAHAHAHA! I'm INDESTRUCTIBLE!" Head tilted back and arms pumped up into the sky as he reveled in his 'victory'.

"You okay down there?" Takashi yelled down at him as he peeked over the cliff.

"I'm indestructible Takashi! This just proves it! People couldn't stop me and ya wanna know something? Neither can monsters! Hahahaha! And now in honor of my victory…Nap time." And with no further gloating Auden passed out from an overstrained body that shouldn't have been moving and fell back while seemingly subconsciously grabbing the egg from his head before it could hit the ground with him.

"Idiot." Takashi said with a sigh as he looked down at his friend. Why would he be happy? Now not only did they still have to stay at a school for monsters but now he also had to drag his idiot friend back to their dorms and take care of his injuries. After all, he couldn't have the school nurse see him. Well, not like things could get much worse now.

~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X~~~X

While Takashi went to drag his friend back to the school, they were both completely oblivious to the hidden spectator for the whole fight. A pink haired girl sat in hiding, mulling over everything that she had seen. She found it hard to grasp that there were two humans at her school and despite how sweet of a person she normally was, she couldn't stop the dark sneer from crossing her normally cute face as green eyes narrowed. The only thing going through her head were ways to make the humans pay for the way they treated her.