So this is my second fanfic- I love writing & have been reading fanfic for over 2 years and thought it was time to post some stuff of my own. Also, this is after Episodes 12- Skin Deep.
He was used to being alone. Everyone had left him, each taking a piece of his heart with them, but her, when she left, when he sent her away, she didn't just take a piece: she took the whole thing. He wishes the curse had made him forget as well, forget that it's his fault she's gone, forget that he pushed her away, forget that for one minute a spark of hope appeared in his bleak and miserable life. As he sat in his cell, he cursed the day he let her go out. He didn't know why he took her; he truly didn't need a caretaker- that's what magic was for. No, for a moment, he saw something in her, an innocence, something that he needed to have, to protect. Letting her go out, knowing she wouldn't be coming back was a price he was prepared to pay if it meant keeping not only himself but also her safe. She had gotten too close, wormed her way into what remained of his heart, and now she was gone in both worlds. He wanted to smash the chipped porcelain teacup he cradled in his hands, but he that if he did, the heart that beat only for her would shatter along with it. He wishes he could pass his memories onto Mary Margaret or David (because heaven knows how they manage to screw everything up even more each time they see each other) but he knows that without the memory of her he would give in to the darkness that threatens to overshadow him each day. So he just sits there, allowing himself for the first time in countless years to remember, truly remember everything about her, and it is like this Ms., or rather Sheriff Swan finds him. He vaguely remembers her releasing him, because even Moe French is not a big enough fool to press charges against the big bad Mr. Gold. He probably said some mindless quip to her as he walked out the door, and before he knows it he is on the familiar path to his home. He makes it to the stairs before the pain chips away at the façade he has spent years perfecting, and he crumbles to the floor.