Uncertainties
By Eliza Natsuko

Pairing : TezuFuji

Disclaimers : I do not own PoT

Summary : Tezuka thought of examples for each topic he was studying.

Tezuka was sitting in a black cushioned office chair he sits in every night. He leaned forward with both his arms resting on the study desk before him. His left hand gently gripped the pen he was holding, while his right fingers tapped the wooden surface. The tapping gets more rhythmic while his brows furrowed, as if he was thinking about something.

"State uncertainty." Reading the phrase aloud, "The uncertainty is when the environment is considered unpredictable."

He remembered clearly Kagarashi-sensei's instructions. His Management Studies instructor told the students studying becomes more effective if one identified examples for each topic in order to understand the concept and prepare for the written exams.

"State uncertainty..," the bespectacled man repeated.

He absent-mindedly ran his fingers through his hair, as he thought of an example. He didn't see the need to take up Management Studies to become a doctor. It's not like he had to manage his patients or something.

He sighed, mentally scolded himself for going off track.

"State uncertainty…" he repeated again.

As if looking for inspiration, he gazed to his left and then to his right before brown eyes finally focused on a photo frame resting on top of a 2 feet high bookshelf. A picture of Fuji and himself, both wearing only surfer pants, was nicely set in a frame. Fuji was piggy-backed behind Tezuka, the petite man's arms securely wrapped around his neck. A happy smile was etched on both their lips. A very beautiful picture in deed, he thought. Looking at the picture brought back fond memories of his Seigaku days and made him smile. He was tempted to call and thank Oishi again for taking the picture during their Tennis Club trip to a beach in Kyushuu.

His memory brought him back about a month after graduation. He accidentally bumped into Fuji on his way back from the market. They stood in the middle of the walkway, talking about what they had missed in each other's lives so far while totally forgetting the pedestrians passing by until a kid ran into Fuji. They then decided to continue their conversation in a nearby café.

Fuji told him about his plans to major in photography or journalism but he couldn't make up his mind. He also told Tezuka he was planning to study at a university in Osaka, a well-known university for high achievements in the Arts. In turn, the ex-captain said he wanted to continue playing tennis but his arm injury prevented him from doing so. Instead he planned to take up Sports Science in Toudai.

Both ex-Seigaku tennis players went on with their conversation until Tezuka's cell phone rang and disrupted their conversation. His mother was worried that her son hadn't returned after four hours, and she wasn't able to cook without the ingredients. After apologizing to his mother, Tezuka politely excused himself from the cerulean eyed man and promised to meet up with him soon.

A week after the accidental meeting, Tezuka called Fuji and they talked on the phone for hours. Before saying their good-byes, Tezuka blurted that he couldn't help think about Fuji, and that he hoped they could be more than just friends. The other end was silent for a moment. Before Fuji could reply, Tezuka hastily whispered a 'goodbye' and the line was dead.

It took several minutes before Tezuka regained his composure and thought of what he had just relayed to Fuji. Tezuka stared blankly at his cell phone. Did he unconsciously confess to his ex- team mate? Why did he do such a thing? Did his encounter with Fuji, after a long absence, slowly made him realize how much he missed him? Did he 'like' Fuji all this time?

Tezuka snapped out of his musing and jotted down some notes under 'State Uncertainty'.

He looked at the next line, 'Effect Uncertainty' and read the definition, "When the effects of environment changes are unpredictable." Tezuka reflected on the definition but eventually fell back into reminiscing about Fuji.

There were no calls from Fuji for the next few weeks and Tezuka was too leery to call him again. He thought Fuji would be mad at him and regretted what he had done. Wasn't platonic good enough? Why did he confess and break their friendship? One afternoon when his parents were out working and his grandfather was off to visit an old friend for a game of shogi, he gathered some forms out from his drawer and began filling in his particulars. He stared at the foreign flag on top of the center page and was concentrating deeply in his thoughts.

The door bell rang incessantly for a good few minutes before he was pulled back from his deep concentration. Upon hearing the distant brazen ring, Tezuka ran down the stairs to answer the door. He opened the door and found Fuji waiting. He fought to hide his surprise with calm demeanor only to feel awkward when he invited his visiting friend to his room. The atmosphere was tense. Neither spoke a word for a five full minutes until Tezuka noticed that the usual friendly smile was not on Fuji's face. He excused himself to make some drinks for the both of them and politely walked out of his room.

The whole house was quiet, the only audible sounds were the clinks and clanks between the metal spoon and the porcelain cups as Tezuka stir the lemon tea. He was about to place the tea cups on the tray, when a pair of hands encircled his waist from behind. Tezuka didn't move from where he stood, not even a turn his head to see the petite man. Fuji didn't utter a word as he hugged his ex-captain, burying his head into the clothed back of the taller man.

Moments later Fuji muffled his confession, he loved Tezuka but they just couldn't start a relationship since he's leaving Japan in a few days. Fuji decided to take his parents' suggestion and pursue a foreign degree rather than a local one. When Tezuka felt slight dampness on his back, he turned around to face the petite man. Tezuka told him if there was trust and if they just believe, everything would turn out fine. He smiled for the first time in weeks, embracing Fuji close to him. He didn't know what the future may bring but then again, he really didn't care.

'That's effect uncertainty,' he thought as he once again jotted down some points under the correct subheading. He flipped the pages of the book and reviewed the side notes he wrote in class before moving to the last topic.

Response uncertainty- when the consequences of a decision are uncertain.

He closed the thick book before him and lay down on his bed. The university charged a lot for the student dormitory but it was worth it. The bed was comfortable and each student had the option to have a room of their own, he was grateful he didn't have to share his room during his entire stay in New York.

He placed his glasses on the bedside table, closed his eyes and thought of an example for response uncertainty. A good example was, he initially planned to study Sports Science in Toudai but eventually ended up in a university in New York and majored in Medicine. He didn't know what the consequences were of his sudden change in decision. He was a little anxious about it, but a better response uncertainty was his relationship with Fuji.

They started their relationship as "more than friends" after the incident in his home. He was surprised when he met Fuji during freshmen orientation at their university. He thought Fuji followed him, though the expression on his loved one's face told him otherwise. So now they are in the same university in a land far away from home, their parents unaware about their relationship.

They're sure that the Tezuka family would be disappointed for their sole name bearer could no longer carry on the family name, and the Fuji family would be upset if their son changed his last name in the future. The consequences if both families found out about them were unimaginable. They might have to separate, never see each other again or perhaps if both families lose their rationality, they'll grant their blessings and their relationship will continue. In the mean time, Tezuka just wanted to enjoy his time with his beloved blue eyed paramour, rather than concoct ways to overcome the uncertainties.

Tezuka made a mental note, as a reminder, to write down his thoughts before he grabbed his vibrating phone from the bedside table and pushed the 'Talk' button.

"Mitsu, what are you doing?"

He smiled, listening to the voice he loved very much.

"Nothing. Just… studying."

Hope you enjoyed it :)