Beta Reading
A Guide, for Naruto readers, writers, spamers, writers-to-be, and most people of Well, I need a 6,000 word document to become a 'beta' on fanfiction's 'beta section'. Which, truthfully, is total bull because I've been doing this for much longer than that stupid section has been added.
Theme-The overall message of the story
Tone-An outlook of the story i.e., positive, lame, gloomy, etc
First Person-the grammatical person used by a speaker in statements referring to himself or herself or to a group including himself or herself, as I and we in English.
Second Person-the person used by a speaker in referring to the one or ones to whom he or she is speaking: in English you is a second person pronoun.
Third person-the person that is used by the speaker of an utterance in referring to anything or to anyone other than the speaker or the one or ones being addressed
I: Summaries. How to make them good.
II: Stories. Its more than just plot.
III: Chapter names. Come on, what's better than the unoriginal 'chapter 1, part 1?'
---------Okay, let's start----------
I
Summaries. Ah, yes. I'll be showing you the good and the bad. Summaries are supposed to simply grasp the gist of what the story is about. You don't need to include that one part in Chapter 3 where Sasuke grabs Naruto's hand and whispers, 'I love you'. There's no need to tell the world of fanfiction about the many plot holes writhing in your brain that you've littered into the latest arc in your story, or the fact that there's more than one arc in general.
So here's a simple way to go about with summaries.
SWABS.
Someone Wanted something, And did this to get it, But couldn't get it, So someone did this.
Doesn't make much sense now, but here's the way you add it.
Sai wanted flowers, and he went to the flower store to get them, but he got stopped along the way, so Sai had a long adventure.
It doesn't have to be so boring, but its straight to the point and is great for One-Shots. You don't have to put how Sai wanted flowers for his latest love interest, how he was stopped by Naruto and got accidently hitched into an over exaggerated marriage by Kiba, so Sai had to end up buying a lot more flowers than he particularly wanted. It works well. But for long epic adventure with over fifty chapters and a couple hundred thousand words? Maybe not.
There's more than just this one way.
"All Sakura needed to do was ignore Sasuke for a few weeks, and she would have Sasuke's attention. But how would she do that if just a look at the Uchiha boy did funny things to her heart? If only it was as easy as it seems..."
FruitsandCandy's Hapless Romantics
"It was Gai's fault. It all started when he misheard Genma, who was bemoaning his love troubles in a bar, and lead to a rampant chase all over Konoha, because when the chuunin were giving away free kisses, the jonin were all ears."
Wings of a Wolf's Kissing Contest
"Kakashi thinks his team might not be so ready for the Chunnin exams after all..."
Zessei's An Alternative Path
--
In the first one, (and I'll repeat, none of these are SWABS) its got a grip on what's happening in the present, in the past, and in the future. All in that order. Which is always a good idea, a bit overused, but still a good idea. Stating what is already happening in the story (past), what is going on at the moment the story begins (present) and a small peek into what will happen at the end (future) is a good way. If its done correctly. Don't go overboard.
The second, has a healthy dose of humor, and I don't need to give all the details to make it easy to know the fact that this is definitely a humorous one-shot. It doesn't need to be so in-depth about the plot, but most of the time humor and comedy needs funny parts in the plot to entice readers.
Third, is straight to the point. Really. Its short, which isn't always a bad thing, and really depends on how much you want to let your readers know about the plot. Its good to at least put a quote, or a thought as the summary sometimes. i.e., Kakashi, a character, is thinking about his team, which probably means he will act on that thought, and the plot will be rolling.
About your story!
Now, there's more to a summary than just the gist of the story. Or at least, there should be. (usually, the smaller summaries tend to leave this out)
For example, you might put as a summary, "Sasuke and Hinata fall in love."
Now, that'd be all well and good, but you're forgetting to put a few things into that summary.
There isn't a part that says that Sasuke and Hinata aren't ninja at all, but in fact, Senior and Freshman respectively in a High School by the name of Konoha High, that there may be a potential threesome between Sasuke, Hinata, and Naruto, or the little side pairings of Naruto and Sakura, and TenTen and Neji.
And that's quite a lot to leave out of a story summary, and the reader who clicks on it who thinks that the plot is somewhere between the Gennin Exams and the Chuunin Exams is going to be thoroughly surprised.
Here's a better way.
"AU/HS (SxHxN) Sasuke and Hinata fall in love. (Yaoi)(TenTenxNeji side)
Trust me, you're not about to run out of word counts.
II
When posting on fanfiction(dot)net, its almost imperative to post something that doesn't include: So Skra brk up with Saske bcouz she thgt he was a ttl btchng jurk ass. I'd type like that, if I was texting. When writing stories, if you don't want to embarrass yourself, you should probably at least try to use spell check. If not, then get a Beta. And hey, there's a good thing that the Beta section is good for, you can chose a Beta in a concentrated place.
The Look: So everyone knows that all the good stories aren't just enormous paragraphs over and over again, in a repetitive manner, and dialogue not spaced out correctly. Truthfully, it's a pain to read, and it's better of being dumped off, or taken off the cite.
Now, I've come face to face with excellent stories written like that, but their not going to get anywhere with a hard-to-read format like that.
Large paragraph form
"Sakura wasn't having a good day. Her hair was a massive poof atop her head and her only two pairs of Shinobi standard outfits were tussled and crumpled in a heap under her cat. She had spilled all her hair products that last night while fumbling in the dark for the lights, and was now faced with a waterfall of hair cream on her dripping onto her carpet. Her mother was calling from the kitchen, the eggs already smelling delicious. "Sakura, honey? Are you coming down yet?" Ah, that's right. She had to meet Kakashi and her team, who, although their sensei was repeatedly late, still met at Nine or so in the morning. She pried the hair brush out of her now matted hair. "Coming mom! Just…uh…wait a few seconds, 'kay?" In a futile attempt to make herself presentable, she took a look at the mirror before scampering down the stairs, halfway into a shirt and a quarter of her socks on. Her mother, true to her word and magnificent smelling cooking, had set her breakfast on the table. "Hi mom!" She grinned, seating herself against the cool wood of the table. "It's a nice day today!" Her mother smiled warmly, setting the eggs on the table. "It really is, isn't it?" She replied thoughtfully. The breakfast table turned into easy silence with Sakura's mother humming slightly to herself as she ate along, Sakura picking at her food slightly, sending fleeting glances to the clock. She really didn't want to be late, that wouldn't be good at all…"
SummerSunshine's Normal Days
And I'll point out to you in the passage, that yes, the punctuations, sentence structure, and spelling are superb. The author/authoress does not need to apply this to dialogue, because most people don't' speak with perfect grammar anyways.
Same goes for scripts. It's great that you can write in play style, but that's just as much of a pain to read as long paragraphs, especially combined. And before anyone asks, I have read Angel-puppeteer's works, and yes, she does have a very odd style of writing. But you have to understand, that's the way she writes. It's not because she doesn't have decent grammar or she likes to space out things to much.
Script form:
Naruto: Auuggghhh! Kakashi-sensei, I can't—
Kakashi: (in an absent minded tone) Naruto. Mission voice.
Naruto: (grumbling) Fine. Kakashi-taichou, I am unable to find the cat.
Kakashi: Good job.
Sasuke: Kakashi-sensei, I'm in position.
Sakura(smiling into the radio transmitters) Me too!
--
So, its not bad, but, its also a terrible pain to read, with the emotions and tones always in parenthesis. Not exactly the best way to present a fanfiction.
Then, as I have stated before, there are the kinds of writing that isn't always grammatically correct, nor is it in proper paragraph form. This is usually considered an author's 'writing style' which can vary from the way they actually use words and phrases, to the way they actually make the story look.
When this is done correctly, it can make a very unique sense of writing.
For example, this excerpt from a fanfiction story is a perfect example of how different styles can vary.
""I have loved you the most."
—abruptly, Sakura shoved the memories at the pit of her heart, with layers of ice and stone. Forget it, she thought, placidly. That was what we call the past. This, she added inwardly, is the present.
In front of her, unconsciously, the boy's eyes wandered at the hair on her face, on the leaves on her hair, stubbornly clinging on the pink strands.
Sasuke stopped his eyes from straying, averting his face. "It's just a door. Stop being stupid over such trivial thing."
"I'm… being stupid?" echoed Sakura, her temper urging her to use force, use her fist, or her foot or just- yes, just one finger— I WILL SEND YOU HIGH UP IN THE SKY! There was a threatening crack of her knuckles and then— "YOU- …" she called Sasuke something she heard Naruto call Kiba often that made Hinata faint behind her. (Thud.)
His eyebrow rose slightly. "You have ways with words."
Sakura blinked, suddenly embarrassed but she snorted loudly. "What do you want from your house?"
"That is," he paused which annoyed her- the pause in his sentences always conveyed arrogance, "none of your concern."
Sakura twitched dangerously. (See?)
"But you will answer me." She lifted her gaze to his. Hers, confusion. His was deep, unreadable, blank but intense. Sakura tried to penetrate his thoughts— do you remember me? She asked.
Reach out. Understand. Remember-
I want to.
Unbury. Unlock.
Let me fucking remember you!
But he had his priorities. And Tsubasa.
My life… is different. My life no longer involves you. In his mind's eye, he watched as those eyes wept.
-static-
((-a promise, love, friendship, devotion, a kiss, her hand, her lips, a room, a picture frame, a caricature, the unoccupied seesaw, a little girl alone in a swing, the familiar ceiling, his eyes, a cat, two cats, his cat, bickering friends, his hand holding hers, two pairs of lips locked in kiss, raindrops, a sea of clouds, a crying face-))
"You're breaking my heart!"
-static- a blank, gray screen-
((-love, friendship, devotion, a kiss, her hand, her lips))
He saw green eyes snapped open.
Those eyes. Those eyes.
I know those eyes.
-static-
-
-
-
Eye-catch! So far away…
-Hinata"
-Angel-puppeteer's Mr. Endlessly
Not all of the sentences always have a verb, and a noun, but it is part of her writing style that makes it so. And there are different ways she uses parenthesis and hyphens than the way they are supposed to. She has a different way of creating page breakers. This is all part of her unique style of writing.
Not all writing styles have to be this different.
Sometimes, the most clever of stories are the ones that are written in a clean, unoriginal format, but they still make a great read anyhow.
"The first rule about writing up mission reports was to always tell the truth and never omit anything.
Well, actually, the first rule was to always check your spelling and use legible handwriting, but the rule about telling the truth was generally more important. These reports went in Konoha's permanent records to be poured over by scholars and Hokages for generations to come. If ever anything connected with past missions popped up again to cause problems, the old mission reports would be the first thing hauled out for inspection. If anything was found to be missing, the author of the report would be in some serious trouble.
So it was always a good idea to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
But really, Sakura didn't want to. Some things were just too private. And surely some things weren't integral to the mission and so didn't need mentioning?
It all depended on what Kakashi planned to write, Sakura realized, as she tapped her pen against the broad windowsill. She gazed down at the morning crowds floating past on the street below without really seeing them. The report sat before her, ominously blank while she tried to guess at how Kakashi's version of events would go. Would he follow the rules and include all the sordid little details that had happened between then? Or would he want to keep them to himself? And if he did include the details and she didn't, Sakura would have her head ripped off by Tsunade for attempting to omit.
The question was, was Kakashi really that much of a stickler for the rules? Sometimes he could be. But then sometimes he flouted them shamelessly. He really was quite selective of which rules he chose to follow, and Sakura couldn't be sure he wouldn't be honest about the hand-between-the-legs thing.
Best to just leave a gap for that bit and come back to it later.
Sakura heaved a sigh and flopped backward onto her bed, report crumpled in her hand. It was way too early in the morning to be writing written accounts of the single most traumatizing moment of her life. She was still having nightmares about it. Without Kakashi guiding her into sleep, she'd fallen into a fitful slumber last night, even though she was back in the comfort of her own bed. She'd woken up to find herself stabbing her pillow with the kunai she kept underneath it.
For the first time in her life, she was quite glad she didn't have a boyfriend sleeping next to her, for it was likely he'd be riddled with holes right about now.
The alarm clock glared at her, letting her know it was eight o'clock. She didn't have to be in Tsunade's office by eleven, so she still had plenty of time to write up her report and get something to eat. Except, her fridge had been pretty empty the night she'd departed on the mission, and whatever was left in it had started turning furry.
And as Sakura had yet to be paid for her grizzly work, she couldn't go out and buy her own food just yet. But that's why friends had been invented.
"Naruto!"
"GAH!"
She had actually been looking for Ino when she'd stumbled across the boy in question. He was, naturally, peeping through the cracks in the fence around the women's bathing area. "What are you doing?" she asked testily, even though she knew exactly what he was doing. She planted her hands on her hips and gave him her most intimidating scowl.
"Sakura-chan! I… dropped something?" he tried lamely, running his hand over the sparse grass around him till his hand found something. "Aha! See? Can't go anywhere without my… stick…"
"Uh huh." Sakura was unconvinced, and to let Naruto know this, she grabbed him by the ear and dragged him back out into the street. The last thing she needed was for someone to peek into the bathhouse garden and see her conversing with Konoha's number two pervert (he was only number one when Jiraiya got bored of mooching off Tsunade and went wandering again for 'inspiration'). Once they were back into safe territory though, Sakura released his ear.
"I didn't know you were back from your mission," she said, brightening up. "I thought you were going to be gone weeks."
"Got back last night," he said, grinning at her. "We totally toasted those Akatsuki wannabes!"
It was hard not to smile at Naruto's infectious enthusiasm."
--
SilverShine's Duty Before Honor
Sometimes her paragraphs do get a bit lengthy, but their not too long that they get hard on the eyes.
She flows her sentences nicely, and in turn, her paragraphs don't' stick out like hard rocks in her stories constant flow. She doesn't jump from place to place, another common execution in a story. (This doesn't count, technically this could be considered an informative)
On that note, some stories can eve hold a bit of an informative undertone. Not all stories have to be written in a way that is in chronological order. i.e., Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3.
Not to say that chronological order is a bad way to go about writing a story. In fact, its probably a better way to start than head diving into a story with no real way on how to go about making your plot.
But keep an eye out for other ways, not everything is so black and white. You can use Key Themes, the first part of the chapter revolving around a certain plot emphasis, and the second part turning to another Theme.
Even then, there are more ways than I'd like to list (and I am a bit brain dead at the moment) that you can use than just the two listed.
You are allowed to be a little more creative than that.
Here's a good example.
"1.) Uzumaki Naruto doesn't realize what it truly means to be a Jinchuuriki until many, many years after his discovery of being one. This is because Naruto is as different from other vessels as they are from normal humans.
His first inkling that he is somehow different from the others comes during his battle with his former comrade, Uchiha Sasuke, at the Valley of the End.
It isn't that he healed a hole through his chest the diameter of a softball in a matter of seconds that disturbs him. It's that even after being run through by a Chidori, he doesn't fall over.
He doesn't fall, he doesn't stagger, he doesn't even kneel, even before the dark red chakra begins to pour out of him. It just doesn't effect him the way he would've thought and it clashes with what little he knows about himself. Rapid healing doesn't mean reducing the amount of pain or damage one takes. It simply alleviates pain and damage faster.
This though, is something else.
Later, when he's gauzed up and lying in the hospital bed, he stares at Sasuke's headband. His friends, the Hokage, and even his teacher all think he's staring at it because he's thinking of Sasuke.
He isn't.
He's thinking of what Sasuke said.
"Kukuku, you moved at the last moment and it missed your heart…"
He tries not to think about it, but even then he has to wonder.
Would it have made any difference?
2.) The day Naruto is born, he dies the instant the Kyuubi's soul is forced into his body.
The Yondaime lays in the dirt, sorrowfully cradling the dead infant in his arms. It's a monstrous sacrifice to destroy a monster, but it's done. He'll accept his punishment in the afterlife with resignation. He has murdered not only a babe, but his own son and regardless of how noble his cause is, Minato knows such actions don't go unanswered.
But it's done. He's done what thousands of others over countless centuries have failed to do.
The Beast is finally dead.
Despite his guilt, he can't stop the small eel of pride that worms its way through him.
And then, in the Yondaime Hokage's moment of bitter triumph, the dead infant stirs in his arms.
The baby's chest rattles and it lets loose a terrible wail. Namikaze Minato stares into the boiling red eyes of his only child as the jaws of the God of Death close around his soul.
He should have known. He should have known.
Stupid-stupid-stupid Minato, you should have known
It could never be so easy. No sacrifice is great enough. Nothing can stop it. The Beast will live on. And damn him for a fool, he's just given the monster his newborn son.
As his soul descends into the gut of the Shinigami and merciful darkness obscures his sight, the great Yondaime can't help but wonder to himself.
What have I done?
3.) Contrary to the beliefs of both Naruto and Hatake Kakashi, the Battle of the Great Naruto Bridge isn't the first time Naruto uses the Kyuubi's chakra.
As a child, when he's around four or so, the ANBU watching over him slacks off for about half an hour. As luck has it, a rather bitter Chuunin has been waiting for just such an opportunity.
The man strikes and in seconds, a blond child lays on the ground with his skull fractured and a chunk of bone an inch long lodged in the side of his brain. The Chuunin, assuming his family's honor is successfully restored, turns his back and walks away.
He makes only three steps when a hand hissing with boiling chakra emerges from the front of his throat.
The thing with blood red irises glances at the man, then rolls its eyes in concentration as its head wound bubbles. The bone piece surfaces and welds back into place. Capillaries and veins knit back together and skin reseals. Soft, grey brain tissues gently flow back together and severed neurons reconnect to their proper anchor points.
Its work done, the creature recedes and leaves a very confused boy staring down at a dying ninja, wondering what is going on. He's still standing there when an ANBU team led by the Sandaime Hokage himself arrive on the scene.
Sarutobi doesn't let Naruto out of his sight for over a month, the Council's mutterings be damned. It isn't until he's certain the boy will never remember the incident that he reluctantly allows him to return to his status as a ward of the city. Ironically, though the stress of the demon chakra burns the memory of the attack from Naruto's mind, it also forces him to forget the happiest weeks of his life when he was in the care of the Third.
Naruto is still strangely fond of the old man till the day Sarutobi dies, for a reason he'll never know."
Kraken's Ghost's Twenty Times Uzumaki Naruto Didn't Die
--
The story is written in a 20 format, its easy to see by the little, "1.), 2.), 3.)" he put when explaining the many different plot scenarios that will eventually make up a full number of twenty. (if the title is nothing to go by)
Another style that's different, not as smooth as SilverShine's, or as unique as Angel-Puppeteer's, but nonetheless, it is a very god read. Hard to grasp the concepts, at times, but still a very interesting read.
And then, there's a much more abstract style of writing that contrasts starkly with Kraken's Ghost, mostly used in dreamy one-shots and great romance.
"…The peace between them was still new, still shaky, and still not quite trusted by either.
"Don't you get tired of the trip?" she asked him once, breaking the silence of their afternoon walk through Konoha.
Evidently in an odd mood, Gaara gave her a sidelong look before turning his attention back to the ground in front of him. "Maybe."
"I'm kind of surprised you haven't tried to talk me into visiting you yet."
"That would defeat the Kazekage's purpose of sending me here. It's a convenient method of keeping me out of the way when they have no immediate use for me."
There was absolutely no inflection to his words, nothing to give her the slightest indication as to what he was thought of such treatment.
"Besides . . ." The twist of his mouth could have been either malice or irony. "It goads him to no end that I can be kept in line this easily by another Hidden Village."
Remembering all of the times he'd frightened her nearly out of her mind, all of the times he'd pushed and harassed her, the times that she'd almost been attacked by him, Sakura decided that both the terms "in line" and "easily" were relative.
She was silent for a few minutes, scuffing her feet on the ground as she tried to figure out a way to rid herself of him before returning home.
"Tell me," he started, catching her attention. "Why do you think it's so hard for people to let go?"
The possibilities behind that question . . . He was leading her.
"Of what?"
"Anything."
"You said it was greed."
"I know what I said."
Which meant he wanted her opinion. And if he was aiming in the direction she thought he was, only incredibly careful wording would keep her from getting into a fight with him.
But damn him, she was tired of walking carefully.
Chin up, she watched him as she replied. "Because people like the idea of things being stable, not changing. Stability is safety. Change brings the unknown."
"I'm talking about people that cling to the past."
He was definitely aiming in one particular direction.
Sakura kicked a pebble along for a few steps as she considered. "I think they're clinging to memories more than the past itself. If something that happened was flawed but made them happy, they want to be selective, to remember being happy and not the problems. And . . ." She clenched her teeth to prevent herself from biting her lip. "And if things go wrong later on, the memory of happiness is a place to retreat to. So people cling to it, their memories of things being all right, their associations . . . in order to feel safe."
"Do you?"
He was watching her again, his expression perfectly blank and his green eyes not showing the least bit of feeling; as outwardly emotive as . . .
She wouldn't lie to him. "Yeah. Sometimes, I do."
Silence.
After a few more minutes he stopped walking; then glared at her when she turned to face him. "We've passed the way back to your house three times now."
She could say something that might lessen or hide the fact that she was still unsure of having him walk home with her. She could say something cruel or rude, watch him storm off, and wonder what his mindset would be the next time she saw him. She could keep walking and wait for his temper to boil over.
She could redirect him.
"Do you worry?"
The only response she got was another glare. Undaunted, Sakura reached out, caught one of his hands in hers. "Do you?"
"About what?"
The inflection there meant that he knew damned well what.
"About my holding onto the past."
"It'd be stupid to," he growled, but his fingers folded with hers.
Pressing him was probably comparable to playing with fire—barehanded.
"But do you?"
She watched him glance back and forth between their hands and her face, watched him weigh his options, and realized that he was as reluctant to give up what she was asking of him as she was to return in kind…"
Randomsomeone's How & Why
--------
So, another in-between difficult to read and too easy to read (not that neither are bad) that makes for a healthy dose of both. Sometimes, between the dialogue, its hard to understand what's happening-are they holding hands? Where are they?-but there are enough small clues to give the effect of half in the dark and half not. Most of the time this kind of writing is only used in sexual scenes for authors/authoresses that don't want full blown sex that usually erupts into something close to porn.
And I could write an entire novel on how and how not to write sex scenes. Their definitely imperative in stories with sexual tension. You can't just leave them out. But also, too much gives more of a full blown effect that can blow off the tone of the rest of the story. Ah see? I'm already rambling.
The air in Konoha was cool, and a mist hung over the village and its forests from the rain the night before. Birds chirped softly in the background, while a small breeze whistled through the trees.
"…The sound of chimes echoed throughout the semi-silent forest.
Kotetsu Hagane gave a soft sigh as he leaned against the gate. He hated guard duty. It was a little better then being the Hokage's errand boy, but not by much.
"This mist is thick, ne?" Izumo Kamizuki asked from where he stood beside him. Kotetsu nodded, his brows furrowed in concentration.
"Hai…" There it was again, the haunting chime that had caught Kotetsu's attention a few moments earlier. "Do you hear that, Izumo?"
"Hear what?" Izumo sighed. "You've been at this post for too long. You're delusional."
"Stop being an idiot, Izumo." Kotetsu snapped. Ever since that fateful day two years earlier everyone in Konoha seemed tense. Maybe it had to do with the threats of war from some of the other villages. It was common knowledge that everyone was making secret alliances with each other.
All of the major shinobi powers were shifting, waiting for the fighting to begin. They were like a taught bow whose string was being pulled to its limit. Anything at this point in time could cause that string to snap, and the consequences would be irreparable.
Suddenly they both tensed as the soft chime sounded again.
"I heard it that time." Izumo whispered, a hand going for a kunai. Kotetsu merely nodded as two figures slowly approached Konoha's east gate.
They appeared out of the mist, their black cloaks rustling. A small shadow hovered at the side of one of the figures.
Once again the bells sounded, a soft sound.
Izumo and Kotetsu stared, openmouthed, recognizing the cloaks immediately.
"It…it can't be…"
They looked into the swirling crimson eyes of the first figure, and they slumped to the ground.
And then the two figures slowly began walking into Konoha, their bells softly chiming.
Atsuko slid off of the chair at the ramen stand, giving a small smile to the vender before he began walking down the road. His eyes drifted across the people walking down the street, and he smiled as he saw Yamanaka-san, Ino's mom. She was putting some flower arrangements in the window of their shop…"
Lady Hanaka's Maelstrom
----
It's a bit hard to tell from the small excerpt, but the authoresses style is most definitely a mix between the medium sized paragraph way of writing and the kind that uses far less words and much more mental imagery. Its also the kind that can go on for many, many chapters. Which may also be why the story this is from is part of a four-story set.
This is definitely more veered toward plot than anything else. It's not a dreamy one-shot, meant for a heart-clenching experience, actually the opposite. When I talked about big epic stories with plot twisters and ups and downs, this was a bit of what I meant.
In these types of stories, OC's are almost a given. There is a reference in this quote if you can find it. Most of the time, OC's do not play a big part. Sometimes, they do though.
"…The young girl awoke painfully, much like the last two times she'd been conscious. Her mind was clouded, but she knew the surroundings were somewhat familiar so she managed to stop her growing panic. She sat up weakly, vaguely recalling that it was much easier now then what she had remembered it to be the last time. She looked around, ignoring her blond hair that fell over her eyes, obscuring her vision slightly.
She found a black hired woman sleeping on a chair a few feet away, a book loosely held in her hand as her soft snores reached the girls ears.
The creak of a door opening startled the young woman and she turned to see a blond haired woman entering. She paused for a moment as their eyes locked before she made a gesture for her to keep quiet, she walked over to the sleeping brunet and removed the book from her slack grip.
She set it on the table before picking her up and setting the girl down on the couch.
Standing up she walked over to her, sitting at the edge of the bed she looked to the younger blond, with a somber/sympathetic/serious expression. "How do you feel?"
Akina looked down. "Fine…I guess." She muttered.
"Do you have pain anywhere?" Tsunade aked again. "Like your head, chest. Anywhere at all?" She ventured carefully.
Akina shook her head slowly. 'No."
Tsunade nodded, from her body language and verbal responses, along with her injuries it didn't take a genius to know she had been in a terrible fight and had most likely lost someone important to her.
"Would you like to get cleaned up?"
"Yes please." The younger girl responded.
Tsunade nodded, helping her throw her feet over the edge of the bed. The girl tried to stand on her own but her legs, after almost two days of pure abuse and one more week of no use made her limbs like jelly.
Tsunade rushed forward and steadied her. "Whoa there, you cant be moving on your own yet. The older blond said sympathetically, and placed a glowing green hand of Chakra onto the girls stomach as she saw her wince and instinctively place a hand over the area in pain…"
LD 1449's Lost Soul
Ld's works are pretty renowned for the epic of it. A bit like reading Narnia, I suppose. The chapters are constantly lengthy (something I believe is a good thing) and there are usually more than twenty chapters in the stories.
In this particular story, the OC plays a semi-major part, with most of the story revolving around Naruto and his ploy against Konoha. This is one of the more major OC roles, not including the, "Sally and Melvina were scked into the Naruto world from their TV!"
You know, the good kind.
These are the kinds of good stories that are on Fanfiction. And there are more than just these—that'd be scary if these were the only ones—but these are the stories that I have at hand and are easily accessible.
III
Chapter Names are always something that should be interesting. Something eye-catching, different, and overall something to look forward to. It doesn't have to depend on the story, and it certainly doesn't have to be the usual, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and yes, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, is just as bad. Might even be worse, actually.
And yes, I know that no matter how hard you try Fanfiction has those little numbers in front of you chapter names anyways, so there's no point in trying to change those. But, also with that, 1.1, 2.2, 3.3, are almost just as bad as the first two I've already mentioned.
Here are some good ideas.
(Story name, Summer Breeze)
1.S
2.U
3.M
4.M
5.E
6.R
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1:In Which Sakura Gets A Headache
2:In Which Naruto Finds The Meaning Of Life
3:In Which Sasuke Does Not Stay Sober
4:In Which Sai Manhandles A…Man?
5:In Which Kakashi Has A Good Laugh
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1:::::Love::::::
2::::Lust::::::::
3::::Dreams::::
4::::Hopes:::::
5::::Fate::::::::
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1 Piano
2 Forte
3 Rollantando
4 Pizzacato
5 Fortissimo
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1-Prologue
2-The First
3- The Second
4-The End
5-Fin
------------
1-In the beginning
2-there was you and
3-me. But at the
4-end, there was
5-nothing except for
6-sadness
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1-Down the Rabbit Hole
2-the Pool of Tears
3-A Caucus Race and a Long Tale
4-The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill
5-Advice from a Caterpillar
-------------
1-Ready
2-Steady
3-GO!
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1: Saffron Dawn
2: Verdant Sunrise
3: Azure skies
4: Fresco Sunset
5: Russet Dawn
6: Cerulean Twilight
-----------
1 Tulips and roses
2 Jumpropes and boys
3 Cats and bunnies
4 Sticks and whirligigs
5 Slippers and bonnets
6 Sun and towels
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So. Chapters are a bit like themes. They can have something to do with the story…and they don't have to always. There's more than just what I've listed, but you can take them.
But anyways, fell free to use most of the points I've listed in this informative (and by god, it better be over 6,000 words or I'm going to cry) and I hope you've learned something. Something good, I hope too. And, there's more than just what I've put in this little one-shot (I suppose it should be called) and you don't have to follow everything word for word.
Hope you enjoyed it!
……..
Sigh. That took a while. Okay, I stated before that I'm making this half because I want to and half because I need to. I'm much, much MUCH more of a Beta than I am or ever will be a writer. Writing just takes too much creativity, like in this, the chapter names, the summaries, the stories. It's difficult. So congratulate yourself if you can. I'll stick to grammar, because I'm such a nitpick like that.