This was another tumblr prompt. I promise I am working on my other stories. These are just fun distractions.
She was supposed to be studying for her final exams, she was supposed to be learning about Plato and Socrates and how their methods affected modern philosophers because that was what her final term paper was on. But all she felt like pondering was how beautiful Chloe looked when she was concentrating. How she kept trying to brush her hair out of her face but there were a collection of hairs that refused to stay tucked behind her ear. These weren't topics that were going to help her pass her philosophy exam, but still those were the things that Beca seemed to be focusing the entire processing power of her brain on.
This had been happening a lot more frequently when they hung out, or even whenever the red head was near her and it was starting to get annoying. Because if Beca didn't know any better she would swear that she was developing a crush on Chloe. That was the only explanation to why she wanted to sit up and crawl towards Chloe and tuck the fiery locks behind Chloe's ear and maybe kiss the senior afterward.
Feeling her cheeks flush at the thought Beca was overcome by a rush of lightheadedness where she could only vaguely feel the desire to run. If they weren't in her dorm room she might have left, but as it was short of asking Chloe to leave she was kind of stuck. Her shifting anxiously caught the attention of the older girl they had been sitting on Beca's bed, Chloe on one side and Beca on the other side with their feet meeting in the middle.
" Are you okay?" Chloe asked concerned when she saw how bothered Beca appeared. The brunette looked like she had either just read the most inappropriate thing ever (and given that she was reading a philosophy book Chloe doubted it) or she had had an equally inappropriate thought. If it were the latter than Chloe was very curious.
" I'm fine." Beca lied, and not her best attempt at hiding the truth. But Beca knew that Chloe wouldn't press. It was one of the many things about Chloe that made Beca's heart do that stupid fast rate thing that made Beca wonder if she was having a heart attack or if she just had a crush. If it were up to Beca she would chose the heart attack.
" You don't have to tell me what you're thinking about but if you're going to like pass out or something just give me some warning okay?" Chloe asked her tone had the right mixture of affection and concern that Beca wished Chloe wouldn't have for her in that moment when she was trying to talk herself out of having a crush on Chloe. There were so many things wrong with having a crush on Chloe Beale, first and most important out of all the reasons was that there was little chance that it would end well.
" Chloe, can I ask you a philosophical question?" Beca asked closing her book and seeing Chloe look up from her own studying and thinking about it before she closed her own book.
" Shoot."
" Say that you had feelings for someone you know you shouldn't. How would you go about…making those feelings go away?" Beca asked her gaze wavering looking down at her hands that were fidgeting.
"That depends." Chloe said and Beca couldn't help but scoff, Chloe had to know that what she had said wasn't helpful at all.
"On what?" Beca asked finally when she saw that Chloe wasn't going to elaborate on her own.
"On why you feel like you shouldn't have feelings for the person. I mean, if it's something legitimate then I'd say you need to focus on why you shouldn't feel that way and see if there is any way you can salvage whatever relationship you have or you probably shouldn't hang out with them. If it's something like you being silly then I'd say you should go for it." Chloe said her mind already trying to figure out who Beca might be talking about. She didn't think that it would be Jesse, Beca had explained to her on more than one occasion that what she felt for Jesse was just friendship and would never expand beyond that no matter how he might feel about her. That meant that sometime between Bella's practice and the other amount of time that they had spent together Beca had found time to develop feelings on someone.
"What if I think that the reason is legitimate?" Beca asked, she was slowly discovering that she never should have brought this up in the first place. Eventually Chloe was going to utter the question of who she had feelings for and Beca would have to do some very skilled deflection. She couldn't tell Chloe that she had a crush on her, which would be the quickest way that Beca could think of to end the best thing in her life.
" What's the reason?" Chloe asked.
" Because this person is…so far beyond out of my league it's not even funny. And I'm pretty sure that they will never think of me in that way."
" How do you know they don't like you back? For all your sarcasm and you're brashness you are actually quite lovable." Chloe inwardly cringed when she saw Beca's face turn up into disgust.
" Lovable? Right that's exactly the adjective I would use to describe myself."
" You're too hard on yourself sometimes." Chloe chided gently.
" Look Chloe, I wish I could explain to you how this person makes me feel but I don't even really understand. I didn't want this to happen, you know what I think about shit like this, emotions and relationships are just two ingredients for heart ache." Beca watched Chloe nod, they had also talked about this at length before. Chloe still didn't understand how someone could develop such a hatred for intimacy and not crave to have closeness with people. But she didn't need to understand it to understand that it was what Beca needed. It's kind of what them perfect, Chloe didn't understand but she didn't challenge it. And she wasn't trying to fix it.
" Tell me." Chloe insisted knowing that she was signing herself up for what would equal out to torture. She was going to listen to Beca tell her how someone else had stolen her heart, something that Chloe had assumed was impossible, if she'd known that Beca's heart was available then she might have tried harder to see if Beca might be interested.
" I'm going to sound like such a cliché."
" That's okay. I'm not going to judge." Chloe insisted. Beca hesitated trying to collect her thoughts.
" I wake up in the morning and the only thing that can make me come out of my room sometimes is the hope that I can see…her." Beca looked up trying to gauge Chloe's reaction but she didn't see Chloe do anything other than nod her encouragement to continue. Chloe had never really thought about Beca's sexuality, mainly because Beca didn't seem like the type that had a specific gender attraction. She was mostly just anti people so Chloe didn't think much of it. This was just confirmation.
" Go on." Chloe said.
" She makes me better, makes me want to be better. She makes me want to be all the things I swore that I never would be and it drives me completely insane that I can't do those things with her." Beca said the frustration evident in her tone. Chloe shifted so that she was sitting cross legged in front of Beca.
" I don't see what the problem is, I mean you haven't really given me a reason why you shouldn't just tell her how you feel."
" She's probably straight."
" You don't know that."
" Pretty sure, I've only heard her talk about guys or seen her with guys." Beca still couldn't banish the memory of Chloe making out with Tom on initiation night.
" That doesn't necessarily mean anything. I mean if you hadn't told me I would have thought you were straight." Chloe argued though she wasn't entirely sure why she was trying to push Beca towards someone else. Though the knowledge that Beca wasn't entirely straight was at least encouraging.
Beca watched Chloe's hand as it shifted from where it had been resting on Chloe's leg to Beca's playing with the bottom of Beca's sweat pants. The movement wasn't overly flirtatious but it was still enough to make Beca's heart start to race and make her slightly dizzy.
" S-so you would suggest that I tell her how I feel?"
" I think that the best rewards come when you take risks." Chloe offered. Beca laughed softly, looking up at Chloe and catching the blue eyes she loved.
" You read that on a fortune cookie."
" Doesn't mean it isn't true." Chloe hand stopped fidgeting with the material of Beca's sweat pants and had moved to drawing circles and patterns on Beca's ankle. She felt slightly guilty, after all Beca was bearing her heart about how she had feelings for this other person and here she was making a move. It was stupid and petty but now that Chloe knew that she at least had a chance she'd regret it if she didn't at least try.
" What if she doesn't feel the same way and I get my heart shattered?" Beca asked.
" Then you come over and I'll help you through it, with the help of some ice cream and a lot of chocolate." Chloe offered light heartedly.
" See that's where the problem lies." Beca said unsure where her sudden braveness came, she had already decided that she wouldn't tell Chloe so why was she opening her big mouth and practically giving Chloe the opportunity to ask.
" What problem?" Chloe asked she had been so consumed with what her hands were doing that she hadn't seen Beca move. But when she looked up she saw that Beca was a lot closer than she had been before. Seeing Beca taking in a deep breath, if she was going to do this now was the time to do it.
" It's you." Beca said using up every bit of self-confidence she had to utter those two words. And then she was torn, she wanted to look up at Chloe and see the reaction on Chloe's face and at the same time she didn't want to see it. She wanted to get up and run away but Chloe still had a grip on her. A grip that tightened the longer she was silent.
" Beca, look at me." Beca couldn't, she could barely breathe let alone force herself to look up at Chloe. When it became clear that Beca wasn't going to look at her Chloe used her free hand to make Beca look up at her. When she finally looked up at Chloe she didn't see rejection, she just saw compassion and gentleness.
" I shouldn't have said anything." Beca murmured moving to get up, she needed to get away from Chloe having the redhead so close was making her think and say stupid things. Why had she said all those things? She should have just kept her mouth shut.
" No I'm glad you did. Beca don't run away." Chloe said holding onto Beca's wrist keeping the brunette from getting up even though Beca was trying to escape her grasp. When it became clear that Chloe wasn't going to release Beca she stopped fighting and sat back down on the bed. Beca didn't look up until she saw out of the corner of her eye Chloe moving forward. Worrying her bottom lip between her teeth Beca looked up. She had to fight the instinct to move away from how close Chloe's face suddenly was. In fact if Beca didn't know any better she would have thought that Chloe intended to kiss her.
She still didn't believe it even as she felt Chloe's lips brush against hers. How as this happening? This couldn't be happening. It was some wonderful dream that she was having and she was going to wake up soon and have to deal with the harsh realization that Chloe wasn't kissing her. But for those blissful moments Chloe was kissing her. Before Beca could even react to kiss her back Chloe was pulling away looking both breathtakingly gorgeous and heartbreakingly adorable as she sat back in her original spot on the bed.
" I stand by what I said." Chloe said. Beca could only blink in response while she waited for her neurons to start firing again.
" What?" Beca asked finally.
" I think you should tell her, and ask her out in some sappy romantic way." Chloe replied.
" What…just happened?" Beca asked completely dumbfounded.
" That was me letting you know I was interested. Now you just need to find a way to ask me out on a date. I'll probably say yes." Chloe said with a wink.
" Probably?" Beca asked incredulously. How did they go from the sweetest, probably the most perfect kiss Beca had ever experienced to Chloe saying that she might say yes if Beca asked her out. Women were weird.
" Yup, a girl needs to be wooed Beca. You said all those incredibly sweet things to me about me. Now you need to figure out an appropriate way of asking me out." Chloe gave Beca a disarming smile and settled back into her studying. Knowing that Beca was still trying to figure out what the Hell was happening in her life.
" You're crazy." Beca said with a laugh, if Chloe wanted to be wooed then Beca was going to woo her . She just needs to figure out how to do that exactly.