This is my first fan fiction *flustered* and I don't't know what I just wrote. English is not my native language. so please show some mercy… :-X AHEM… Soo Gintama belong to Hideaki Sorachi.

CHAPTER 1

It was a dark night. Rain showering down heavily on the streets of Kabukicho. Street dogs were huddled quietly in dark places in order to avoid getting wet. There was no one on the usually busy night streets except that young man. "What was I doing in this stormy night n abandoned streets at this time of night?" He thought as he dragged his injured leg on the muddy street. "I have to get out of here….. Argh…"

"hehe…. Aww please don't run away, I was just trying to have some fun with you…." A man snickered as he pulled the victim by his arm, pulling the sword out of the poor victim's leg.

"Arrgghhh …Please….. let me go…. I… I … I will do anything … You want the money back? O..Ok.. I..I will give your money back to you….. But please don't kill me I beg you"

" I don't want the money back Mr. pretty Host, after all you deserve them, I mean I really really enjoyed your company. *snickering* I just want to have fun with you. Can't I?" The man put his arm around the shivering host's waist. " soooo shall we go?" The man said with a shit eating grin on his.

"No No please let me go… I don't want to play….. please…." All struggle put by the host went in vain as he was dragged by the grinning man.

" Vice-commander! We found another body near Kabukicho" Yamazaki reported.

"…. Tch…. Where is Sogou? He was suppose to be on patrol last night in that area… Damn brat. This makes the 6th death in 2 months…" Shinsengumi's vice commander Hijikata Toushiro voiced out his thoughts in irritation. ".. The report yamazaki?"

"Ahhh here Vice-commander….." Yamazaki held out a file towards his vice commander.

" Name: Kai Hikari….Host name: Hi-Chan…. Age: 23 years… Cause of death loss of blood, wounds and cause of death is same as that of previous victims. The culprit is same." Hijikata mumbled to himself.

" Hijikata san it seems the killer is targeting the hosts" came a bored expressionless voice from the door

"It looks like… Ahhh you damn Sougo.. I specifically told you to patrol that area last night.. where were you huh?"

"….tch.. A man's got to sleep Hijikata you bastard. Speaking about sleep, you haven't been sleeping properly Hijikata san , you have those huge dark circles around your eyes. why don't I help you sleep forever" Sougo pulled out a bazooka out of nowhere and aimed it at Hijikata

"You damn Sogou… stop wasting your efforts in killing me, instead work on saving the lives of others." Replied angry Hijikata.

" I only care about you Hijikata san… your miserable life and painful death I mean…" replied Sougo, still aiming at Hijikata

"Youuu…." Hijikata tried to calm his nerves down by lighting up his cancer stick. "Oi Yamazaki… where is Kondou san? Have you seen him this morning? You showed him todays reports?"

" errr Commander is … …..He just came back after doing a job…" fidgeted Yamazaki

"By his job you mean stalking that Shimmura girl? What is that idiot gorilla doing" He sighed and resumed reading the report.

"Oi Toshi, Sogou, you seemed getting along well as always.. Yamazaki you came here to show Toshi today's report? So whats goin on in Edo today?" Shinsangum's Commader Isao Kondo appear on the scene.

" What happened to your left cheek Kondo san?" Asked Sougo

" Oh this? Otae san showed me her fist of loovvee"

"You mean she punched you because you were peeking her while dressing?"

"Toshiiii…." He cried dramatically. " how could you accuse your commander like that.. I just wanted I just wanted…"

"Stooppp.. I don't want to listen to your perverted fantasies Kondo San. We have a situation here"

" Oh is this about recent murders of the hosts?" Kondo became serious all of a sudden.

" Yes, we found a body just this morning, mutilated and devoid of blood like previous victims" Yamazaki showed Kondo the reports along with the pictures of the victim.

"….. hmm… it seems we have to take drastic measures as patrolling the area wasn't enough"

" Yes Kondo san although I diligently spent all my night patrolling the area it wasn't enough. We should just use Hijikata san as bait and catch the killer"

"Oi when did you DILIGENTLY worked huh? And why should we make me a bait? You should be the bait"

"I don't know… May be you should die already that's why." Replied poker faced Sougo.

" Toshi I think Sougo is right..."

"what?! kondo san you too?

"just hear me out… Since the killer is targeting hosts, we should infiltrate the host club, catch the attention of the killer, and arrest him"

"Well I won't deny I was thinking of the same thing but It would be too risky, I mean we don't know which host club the killer would target and we cannot send our men in each and every host club in kabukicho plus I heard hosts are quitting their clubs as they are afraid of the maniac killing their comrads…. wait a minute.. Yamazaki bring the list of all the host clubs in Kabukicho district."

"Here Vice-commander."

"Hmm… Takamagahara is the only club running now… lets get to work"

"Waahhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Toshiiiiii!" Called out Kondo while crying

"Kondo San quit being a big baby… It doesn't matter if your application was rejected" Replied irritated Hijikata

"But… But even though they were short on members, they rejected my application.. Why is that?!"

"Kondo san they cannot resist your gori… Ah manly charms that's why they rejected you" Sougo tried to encourage his boss.

"you were about to say gorilla weren't you?! you were about to say gorilla weren't you?! Oh my mother in heaven.. your son is surrounded by such brutes..waahhhhhh"

Hijikata sighed. Why was he surrounded by such idiots. Well atleast he and Sougo were accepted in the club. Now only thing left was to find out the culprit.

It has been 2 weeks since Hijikata and Sougo started working as a host in Takamagahara. Kyoushirou San was worried about the type of customers he was getting because of the two eccentric hosts but he was satisfied with the sales going steady… or rather going up. Why you ask? Well…. As the number of hosts was still declining he asked yorozoya's Sakata Gintoki as a replacement as well… until the hosts returned (who would want a walking disaster working in his host club forever?) It could be easily seen that one of the new recruits and Gintoki were not on good terms with each other. They were always seen fighting (both verbally and physically). A number of girls (fujoshi?) turned up in the club just to see those two "bishounen" fight eachothers and squeal at them commenting on how tsundre they both were, not accepting their love for each other (well that's how yaoi host club manga they read goes). Anyway besides fighting Gintoki (in Hijikata's case) and murderous attempts at Hijikata (Sougo) they opened their eyes for any unusual eccentric customer but they couldn't find anyone. All their customers were harmless women who came to fulfill their fantasies, to kill boredom or to have fun with younger men.

"welcome to the Takamagahara my dear Mistress, who would you like to choose today?"

"Hmmm I would like to try new boys today. All of them"

"As you wish my lady. Please come this way"

The lady (who seemed to be in her early 30s ) removed her silky blond hair out of her fair face and followed the man escorting her to her booth. After 2-3 minutes 5 men were bowing in front of her. " Welcome Miss. Thank you for calling us. What would you like to drink?"

She observed all of them and smiled. "My my what a lovely bunch you are. Come sit and play with me."

Gintoki and Hijikata sat opposite sides of each other beside the lady, glaring each other. Sougo bored enough as he hated mature women as his sadistic charms rarely works on them (unless they are masochist) left saying he would bring the drinks. The remaining two sat in front of the lady. They talked, drank, played and did whatever hosts do.

"hic…. Lady ya're a fun women…"

"You….hic…. pervert….. all ya..were doin was…hic… staring at… "

"shut…hic…..up ya damn ma..yoraa..hic.. what is it to you? what I do is none of ya'r buzzuinezzz"

"oh yeah?! Like.. hic… I care what ya do… jus stop being a nuisance n lemme investi…hic..gate"

"investigate?.. what ya'r here ter investigate? .. I thought.. hic.. ya came here.. ter stalk me…"

"Ya bastard…. Who would stalk yer…hic… stupid ass"

"my ass is noooottt stuuppid ya stuuupid tax robber."

" Now now… please stop" a worried Host meddled in " these two are drunk.. someone get these two idiots away from here…..Sougo kun.. Ahh Sougu kun is sleeping"

"Shut up who ya calling drunk?" both Gintoki and Hijikata shouted and punched the poor host at the same time

"Hohohoh no no I am enjoying these handsome men's company" replied the amused lady.

"Shut up ya drunkard, stop mimicking me" Gintoki glared at Hijikata.

Ya'r drunk not me" Hijikata retorted.

"humph… ya'r drunk I am pretty sober shall I prove I ter ya?"

"oh let see …hic"

"oki oki.. hijikata kuuunnn…brace yo'rself.." saying this drunk Gintoki kissed Hijikata's lips

"….."

"hahaha see…. I can kiss alright… meaning I am not drunk…. Ya'r lips are soft.. just like a girls"

"….hic…. ya bastard.. ya think ya can get away with that?" Angry drunk hijikata latched on Gintoki and kissed him hard… " Here… I can kiss better than ya..hic"

This turned into a kissing competition with embarrassed hosts, squealing girls and sleeping Sougo. Neither of them noted a pair of green eyes watching them from a distance.