Yet another song-fic by yours truly. I guess after reading this, you'll know what I think about the world, and what we're doing to it. But that's beside the point. Read, I think you might like it. It's to the song, "Papercut" by Linkin Park.
Summary: Ichigo contemplates what's wrong with the world around him, and what's wrong with the world inside of him.
Papercut
Why does it feel like night today?
It was a normal morning that found him resting his head on his cheek in school. A morning like any other. But it felt so different. What was different? Could anyone but him tell the difference between night and day?
That was certainly the question, Ichigo Kurosaki knew. Outside, the sun was shining, and the other students around him laughed and went about their mornings like there was nthing wrong.
But he knew. He knew something was right. To him, everything was dark. There was no light that could penetrate his world.
Something in here's not right today.
What could possible be so oppressive that it bore down on him day after day? What was this feeling that something was watching him, waiting. Waiting for him to mess up.
It wasn't right. It was never right. What was wrong with the world around him? Only he knew.
Why am I so uptight today?
The other kids seemed to sense something was changing inside of him. They would ask him questions about himself, questioning if he was alright. But he always snapped at them.
He didn't trust them; he refused to tell them his feelings. He couldn't. His stiff nature wouldn't allow it.
Paranoia's all I got left
He looked at the people around him, and wondered if they knew. They'd stopped asking, content to pretend nothing was wrong and keep the world revolving around themselves.
But he wondered. Every second, he wondered. Could they possible know? Did they sense the darkness? Was he just paranoid?
Even if he was, he could do nothing to change that; it was all he had left.
I don't know what stressed me first
Was it the fact that the day suddenly felt like night? Or was it the creepy way the people around him watched his every little move? What exactly was it that stressed him out so much?
It was a forever unanswered question.
Or how the pressure was fed
The Hollows weren't around as much anymore, leaving him to live the rest of his life in relative peace. But it wasn't what he wanted. Somehow, the pressure inside of him, a pressure much like a heavy oppression inside of him, had grown without him knowing.
It was an unusual thing, a thing he despised. How had this pressure grown, nearly consuming him?
But I know just what it feels like
It had become normal for him, this feeling. This insistant thing that beat inside his mind every day. No one else felt it, he was sure, but he did.
Because he was different. Because he knew.
To have a voice in the back of my head
It was there every moment, speaking to him of that secret that only he knew. But it wasn't a good thing. It shouldn't have been there, that stupid voice. It criticized him every time it spoke, of everything.
Why wouldn't it shut up? Why wouldn't it cease? Why was the world around him, and in him, so messed up?
Like a face that I hold inside
It was just like him. That voice, that face. It was exactly like him, inside his twisted mind that held that secret.
Was it him? Was it really just his mind playing tricks on him, feeding on his paranoia? Would he know if it was?
A face that awakens when I close my eyes
In the darkness, in the light, it was there when he closed his eyes. It was there when he opened them. It was there when he didn't want it to be, and it was there when he welcomed it.
What was wrong with him?
A face that watches every time I lie
It was kind of funny, really, that that face was with him every day. It watched him as he lied to the world, watched him say everything was alright.
Was it really there? It was a constant question. Was that face really with him, or was he just paranoid?
A face that laughs every time I fall
That sinister laugh. It grated on his every nerve.
Everyone knew there were bumps in life that people tripped over. But did everyone have a face that would laugh at every single bump when it was tripped over?
He would guess not. It was probably just him.
(And watches everything)
It saw the secret. It saw the world falling apart around them. It laughed as the humans completely destroyed the world they lived in.
It watched it all.
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
There it was again. That paranoia that seemed to have become his whole world. Every time he looked around him, he saw things. He saw people looking at him strangely.
He knew. He knew they knew. They knew, too.
It was all because of his paranoia.
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It was confusing, to say the least, these thoughts that circulated throughout his head. Why wouldn't they cease? Yet another question that was forced to go unanswered.
They became a never-ending cyclone inside his mind. They lived with that face.
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
Was there anyway to stop it? Was there a way to ignore the destruction around him? Was there a way to ignore that face speaking to him from inside?
There wasn't. It was as simple as that. There was no way to ignore it all. What a sad thought, he could only think.
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin
Yes, it was there. It would always be there, beneath his skin. Inside his head. Whispering to him, laughing at him.
But he no longer cared; he was used to it.
So, instead of ignoring that face, he sat back and watched with it. He sat back and watched as the humans destroyed their world, laughed along with the face.
It was, after all, the only thing to do. It was as they say,
"If you can't beat them, join them."
And so he joined that face inside of him.
He became the one to watch everything.
He became the one to watch as others lied.
He became the one to watch everytime others fell.
He became that face right beneath the skin.
Well, it's not the whole song, sadly. That was just too long for me, and I figured this would end nicely. What'd ya think? Definately something I didn't plan on writing, although I've been wanting to do the song "Papercut" with Ichi/Hichi. But anyway, please review!! I'll give you cookies if you do:)
hichigomate