Rumplestiltskin had become very efficient over the years at keeping the Queen from seeing any more of what went on in the Dark Castle than he wanted her to, but she had become equally adept at finding him anytime he set foot outside, and she watched his dealings with great interest.

She was intrigued by this deal for a 'housekeeper'. Rumors spread immediately of course, about the kinds of depraved attentions he must be forcing on the poor, innocent maid. The Queen sneered at the idea. Rumple didn't force. He preferred to give his victims the illusion of choice. If that's where Rumple's intentions lay, she wondered how much choice the poor girl would have. Rumple could be … persuasive.

She was familiar with his entire, extensive bag of tricks; the hypnotic eyes, the leering smiles, the clever, dancing hands, and the complete lack of regard for personal space. Up close the fit of his leather pants could be quite distracting, as was the manic intensity and the wild magic that radiated off him in sheets. Not that he had made any overt moves toward her in their time together. Sometimes, lying in bed next to the husband she didn't love, she had secretly wished he would. Not that she loved Rumple either. Love was pain. It wasn't necessary to be in love to experience pleasure.

Whether he was indulging in pleasure or not, she had no way of knowing, and it frustrated her. Since he had brought back his golden prize, he had developed an infuriating tendency to conduct his business at home. He could be merely keeping an eye on his prisoner, or he could be ravishing her every chance he got; Regina simply couldn't tell.

The longer he holed up, the more closely she watched the borders of his estate. She moved court to the castle nearest to his; set eyes and ears, magical and otherwise in all of the nearest villages, and completely ringing the boundary of his land, and settled in to wait. She sent rumors out of certain magical objects she thought might peak his interest, but he hadn't taken the bait, yet.

Eventually, he would step outside, or he would get bored and send the girl away. He never struck her as really a 'people person'. As far as she could tell, in his view, people were obstacles, or tools to get around obstacles. She wondered if he ever truly loved anyone other than himself.

…

As soon as the girl set foot off the estate, Regina was in her carriage on an intercept course. The child was naïve, headstrong, and ridiculously easy to manipulate. She really did think herself to be in love with the little beast. This was going to be entertaining.

She didn't really think the kiss would work. It would require true love from both parties. But it would remind Rumple who he was dealing with. She had learned to play games from the master.

…

This was too delicious; his yelling, her protestations. And the kiss had been working! The monster had a weak spot after all. He even left his guard down long enough for her to witness his orgy of property destruction. Far too delicious.

Of course as soon as he regained any sort of composure her view was cut off, but she didn't mind. She could wait. She wondered if there would be anything left of the girl to send home to her family.

When days had passed with no word of any kind of activity from the Dark Castle, curiosity got the better of her. She found a pretext to pay him a visit.

For a man as careful as Rumple usually was, his security was ridiculously light that day, almost as if he was waiting for her. She stopped dead at the sight that met her eyes when she entered. Rumple was stretched out full length on his back on his long table, head pillowed in Belle's skirts. She was playing with his curls and they were gazing at each other with rather revolting expressions of pure joy.

Belle turned her head to look at the new arrival, all chestnut waves and wide-eyed innocence. Rumple sat up languidly and smirked. 'Your Majesty, what a pleasant surprise! I haven't thanked you yet for sending my Belle back to me. Belle dear, go fetch our guest some tea. I wouldn't want to be inhospitable."

Belle was not as naïve as she looked. She caught the undertone in Rumple's voice, and opened her mouth to say something.

"Please, " How Rumple managed to layer equal parts tenderness and menace into one little word, Regina didn't know, but it shut Belle up. She left with a backward glance at Regina, and something in her step said that Rumple was going to pay for that tone later. He seemed to have gotten more than he bargained for with the fetching creature. This cheered Regina up, and she managed a smirk back.

"This cozy little arrangement won't last, you know, Rumple. You are too much of a collector. You will lose interest, or she will lose patience, and you will be looking for a new girl in two months' time."

"Possibly, dearie, but I don't see what concern is it of yours." He was dancing closer to her, but Regina held her ground.

"Even if you don't get bored, and she doesn't get disgusted, this will still end badly. Someday, in the heat of passion, you will forget yourself." They were nose to nose now. He smelled vaguely of tea-cakes. Belle was obviously feeding him well. For some reason this infuriated Regina even more. "Those sweet, rosy lips will be far too much temptation, and you will kiss her, Rumple, and I will win."

Rumple leered suggestively at her. "Oh ho ho, I see it now, dearie." He slid around somehow to stand behind her, his voice in her ear and his breath stirring the hair at the nape of her neck. "You're jealous. I don't blame you. She is scrumptious, isn't she?" His voice was in her other ear now, his nose practically nuzzling her cheek. "Tell you what. If you are a good girl, I'll let you watch sometimes. Free of charge."

He was back in front of her now, rubbing his hands together gleefully. To think, she once found that giggle charming. "I'm suddenly not thirsty. Give my regards to your… whatever you call her." She turned on her heel and stalked out, closing the door with unnecessary violence, cutting him off mid-annoying laugh.

He was true to his word. She started covering her mirrors, because if she didn't she would be treated, from time to time, to the sight of Belle, head thrown back and lips parted in pleasure, clearly enjoying the tender attentions of her True Love. The Queen wondered if Belle knew how much of their affection was on display. Twisted little imp.