Disclaimer – I do not own The Outsiders or How to Survive a Horror Movie.
How To Survive an Outsiders Fanfiction – A guide by SodapopXPonyboylover
Are you reading this fanfiction while an Outsiders book is next to you?
Are you reading this fic while the Outsiders movie is playing in the background?
Has anyone told you to stay gold recently?
If so, you may be experiencing some flash forward's of what is going to happen to you. But what exactly is going to happen to you? Just read and find out…
…
An Authors Note:
There's something I've been meaning to get off my chest. Something that's been eating away at my conscience for hours now. And I admit, it's not easy to write without getting a little choked up…
…I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all the people who will be wasting minutes/hours/days of their lives reading this. But you must know this, for it is essential for surviving in a fanfiction. Please don't hate me for writing this – but I would know that it is absolutely necessary, being a victim of Fandomville myself. It's happened before, and it will happen again.
Its next victim is you…
Here's a guide to help y'all survive *gulp* an Outsiders fanfiction.
…
Chapter 1: How do I know if I'm in an Outsiders fanfiction?
Fanfiction's aren't made by people who want to help you and the characters in it. They are made to destroy every fiber of your being, and force you to witness things you would rather not have witnessed. How do you know if you've been sucked into Fandomville? Sometimes the signs are unmistakable. For instance, if you are walking downtown when suddenly everything around you changes and the girls who were wearing ripped up jeans are now wearing below-the-knee skirts (and in most cases have their hair curled in ringlets) and the dirty old house that most people think is haunted is now brand-new, you know that you've been sucked into a Fanfiction. But which one? How has this happened? Why did it happen to you?
Fanfictions vary from person to person, depending on the author. But before we get into that, let's cover the basics to make absolutely sure that you are, in fact, trapped in a fanfiction.
Determine how you came to read this guide.
In fanfictions, things rarely happen without a reason. Therefore, the simple fact that you are now staring at your computer screen at a fanfiction called How to Survive an Outsiders Fanfiction means someone's probably trying to tell you something. (Not to mention the fact that it states very clearly that this is an Outsiders fanfiction guide) Think hard: How did you end up reading this fanfic-guide anyways?
"I was just browsing through the different fanfictions on "
There's still a chance this is just a coincidence, run while you still can! No, but really. If you have actually read this far, your chances of being stuck in an Outsiders fanfiction have just gone through the roof.
"I was on Google/Bing/etc and stumbled across it online"
Not good. Not good at all. Search engines (Bing and Google especially) can be a gateway to unthinkable fanfictions. Perhaps you were merely enticed at the awesomeness of the title and the fact that it is free to read this.
"Someone told me to read it"
Yikes! Someone telling you to read a fanfiction about getting sucked into another fanfiction? That's like giving Helen Keller a CD to listen to! "Oh, I just thought it was a good song Helen. I'm sure you'll like to listen to it."
"I was sent from the future to destroy this fanfiction because it holds evil content"
Heh…Heh…um, well. Maybe you should find another job – one that probably pays more.
Take a look around
The environment should offer some clues. If you are in the country-side, you are probably safe from gangs (for now). But if you're anywhere near – and I mean near – Tulsa or New York City, I suggest you run for your life. How the location looks and sounds can hold clues also:
Does everything seem like it was made from a cheap film?
This could indicate that you've traveled back in time and landed yourself in a fanfiction. Or you're just going nuts. Either way, it's not good.
Does everything have a yellow/orangish tint to it?
Are all of the houses and buildings especially bright even though the sky is covered in clouds? Does it seem like a bright light is shining in your eyes at all times?
What is the setting like?
Like I said before – countryside = okay. But Tulsa = pretty bad, and New York = instant death. Ask around, but don't make yourself known. Find out where you are.
Is everyone around you giving you weird looks because of how you are dressed?
Does it seem like the in-clothes you were wearing before suddenly seem out? If you are a girl, do you suddenly feel like wearing a really long skirt and unrevealing shirts? If you are a guy do you have the sudden urge to get something other than skinny jeans? Or get the hell out of your labeled shirt?
Are there lots of different looking people throwing death-glares at each other?
Have you seen jocks and Madras-wearers surround a guy with greasy hair lately? Did the guy with greasy hair pull out a blade? Are most girls wearing decent clothing while others look like they could be from your time? And are the girls that look like they could be from your time smoking and drinking? This is most definitely an Outsiders fanfiction if the above are true.
Take a look at yourself.
You are a guy. You are wearing skinny-jeans and sport long hair and maybe even have a skateboard. Are people starting to laugh at you because of how you're dressed? Are guys throwing hair-grease at you? Are girls giving you frightened looks?
You are a girl. You have your hair teased and have dark makeup on, you're wearing ripped up short-shorts and a revealing shirt. Maybe a cropped jacket. Are guys cat-calling you and are girls spitting on the ground you walk on?
If the following apply to you, you are most definitely in an Outsiders fanfiction. (Even if those descriptions look nothing like you)
Determine if you fit any of the following OC (or other characters):
"A. The really hot girl who doesn't care what anybody thinks of her"
"B. The guy who has the monosyllabic first name"
"C. The sister who every greaser wants to date"
"D. The greaser who has nice clothes"
"E. The middle-class who stay away"
"F. The greaser/Soc who hates the other class"
"G. The greaser/Soc who hates FIGHTING the other class"
"H. The guy who shoves greasers into lockers"
"I. The teacher who is nice but loves to give detentions"
"J. The girl who hates the fighting between the greasers and Socs"
"K. The nerdy girl who inevitably falls in love with Sodapop Curtis"
"L. The slutty goth-chick"
"M. The typical Mary-Sue"
"N. The girl who's a greaser but dates a Soc"
If any of these bear an uncanny resemblance to you (or a companion who was sucked into the vortex with you), you are most certainly in an Outsiders fanfiction. And unfortunately as an OC.
But before we panic, let's confirm the diagnostic!
Conduct the M.A.D test.
M.A.D stands for the words "Motivation and Dialogue," and it is one of the quickest, most accurate ways of confirming the presence of Fandomville.
Motivation. If you (or any of your unfortunate friends) feel strangely compelled to do any of the following, you're definitely in an Outsiders Fanfiction.
Walk around the West Side of town in hand-me-down clothes.
Harass a greaser or innocent child.
Instead of paying for a movie, go under the fence and sneak in.
Go to the Nightly-Double.
Go to Buck's for a drink.
Scream "Greaser!" at someone.
Daydream and watch sunsets.
Get jumped.
Jump people.
Become the sister to one of the gang members or a mentioned Soc.
Meet the gang as two-year-olds.
Become totally bad-ass and kick any Soc or greaser's butts!
Smoke.
Dialogue. Do you suddenly find yourself speaking in a weird way? Do you say things like 'Y'all' and 'you-aint-a'woofin" when you don't even know what it means? (For your information, it means you aren't crazy. Or something along those lines). Normally, you would say something like "Hey dude whatsup? Dude I want a smoke so bad, but there's a no smoking sign!" but now you're saying "Hey man, what's hangin? Man look at that sign, what bum would listen to that? Give me a cancer stick man."
Yeah. Oooh yeah. You're in an Outsiders fanfiction. Big time.
Check your watch. An average day is 24 hours long. In an Outsiders fanfiction 14 of those hours are nighttime. If it's almost always dark, and every single main character (including you) get's jumped, you landed yourself in an Outsiders fanfiction. But even more telling than the lopsided night/day ratios are the huge gaps in your personal space-time continuum.
If you find yourself asking, "How did I get here?" again and again, it's probably because the author of your fanfiction has a beta, and the beta took out all of the "boring" parts in your life. Like going to the bathroom, or getting yourself a glass of water, or taking a shower. (unless you're a guy with amazing abs and a gorgeous face.)
There's chapter one on How to Survive an Outsiders fanfiction! Hope you enjoyed it, and hope it helped you. Please review and tell me if any of the above has happened to you. : )