Title: I don't want to.
Summary: Saying goodbye is the hardest thing a parent ever has to do.
Pairing/Characters:Hannah/Neville
Emotion: Grief
Rating:K
Warnings: Death of OC
Notes:N/A
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
The sound was constant, as was the breathing. The soft even breaths.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
It was the only proof that she was still alive. Her little girl was reduced to a breath. In. Out.
The door opened behind her but she didn't look, she knew who it was.
"Hannah?" She didn't turn, didn't respond, didn't acknowledge her husband in any way except for the twitch of her right shoulder.
"She's still breathing." Hannah said, her voice was hopeful. The doctor looked sad.
"Hannah, please we need to talk."
"I don't want to talk." Her voice was hard, unforgiving. She knew what he wanted to talk about and she didn't want to hear it, again.
"Yes, she is breathing but she isn't there anymore."
The doctor looked down at the clipboard. Hannah thought she saw a tear, it was gone when he looked up.
"Her head sustained a massive bleed."
"We need to talk about this; you heard what the doctor said."
"No, he's lying." Her eyes blurred, her heart started beating fast. She knew the doctor wasn't wrong but she refused to acknowledge, refused to admit the truth.
"So? What does that mean?" Neville asked when he didn't continue.
Hannah remained silent, she realised she didn't want to hear the words that came next.
"He's not, you know that. She's-" her husband's voice broke and Hannah felt guilt well up inside her. Neville was suffering too; this was his daughter, his little girl. He didn't want to talk as much as she didn't but he was being strong, strong for her.
"We tried to repair the damage but it was too late. There's no brain activity."
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't be."
They were left in silence; just the constant beep of the machine, the soft breathing of three people was heard.
"What does that mean? It could come back, couldn't it?" Neville said, he sounded desperate.
"No, it isn't. Once the brain activity is gone, there is nothing left to be done."
"She's not waking up." She felt like she had just been stabbed by admitting that. She felt she was abandoning her, giving up on her.
"No."
She could hear the pain, the despair in Neville's voice, she felt it inside herself.
"What are you saying?" Neville asked.
"The machines are the only thing keeping her alive."
"We-" she stopped to clear her throat, trying to free the words she needed to say. "We have to say goodbye, don't we."
"Yes."
She heard the footsteps of Neville approaching, it didn't take him long to reach her. Suddenly her vision was filled with his face and she saw the tear tracks, the red around his eyes, the devastation.
"We have to say goodbye." He said, the words seemed to cause him physical pain. Hannah's heart squeezed and her stomach contracted. She collapsed against him, not trying to hold in her agony anymore.
"Your daughter isn't going to wake up, I'm sorry."
"I don't want to say goodbye."
The wind blew softly through her hair and into her eyes. She didn't move. The priest was talking but she wasn't listening. Her focus was on the ground, the small pit, too small. A coffin lay resting over the hole, waiting to be lowered. It was too small.
The wrong time, the wrong place.
There were people around her, some crying, some silent. Most would glance her way; they would look at her with sadness, with sympathy. She didn't want it. She didn't want to be here. She wasn't ready for this, it wasn't fair.
The wrong person, the wrong life
Her husband's hand was clenched in hers, she wouldn't let go, she couldn't. The priest kept talking. The day was a bright one, sun shining, birds singing. It was wrong, all wrong.
I wasn't ready, I'm still not.
The coffin lowered. The flowers were placed on top. Person after person, flower after flower. They were saying goodbye. She wanted everything to stop, it wasn't time yet. She didn't want to say goodbye.
I'm not ready for goodbye
(w.c 719)
WolfWinks-xx-