Larry Bird lay face-down on the living room couch. He'd lost count of how long he'd been trapped inside, and he tried to remember. TV no longer interested him, he'd read every book in the house, and was beginning to feel depressed. The community had left for Zabvron months ago, and since then humans had swarmed to the neighborhood like ants to a picnic. He and his family were the only Zabvronians left in the neighborhood, but even with his wife and children, he still felt alone. They could blend in, well enough at least, with the humans that lived among them. Larry himself used to be able to blend in right along with his family, but those days were long gone. At least for the time being, he couldn't let the humans know about his current condition.
A stir of movement from his lower back interrupted Larry's stream of thought. He reached his hand around to feel at the large bump that protruded from his flank. He smiled faintly, but the smile turned into a grimace as a sharp pain washed over his back. Larry slowly pushed himself off the couch and onto his swollen feet. Carefully feeling the small of his back, just above his bump, he felt relieved that it was nothing more than a muscle spasm. He would've dismissed the pain from the start, seeing as he was still weeks away from the estimated due date, but this pregnancy was different from the others.
Not only was Larry Bird gestating in the human form, a first in Zabvronian history, but he was having symptoms that weren't present in his first two pregnancies. The stretch marks, the aches, and a strange desire to read trashy romance novels. In his opinion, human bodies were so limiting and weak, but he had no other alternative. He couldn't risk the humans seeing him in his true form. And now that his bump was too prominent to hide with looser clothing, the family decided it was better for him to stay indoors and out of sight.
Larry scowled again as the baby suddenly became very agitated, and began kicking ferociously. He groaned, irritated, massaging the bump in attempt to calm the restless fetus. He'd never liked the kicking.
"God," he murmured, "please stop. Daddy's very tired."
The sound of a key entering a lock caught his attention, and Jackie Joyner-Kersee walked through the door, returning from work.
"Oh husband, you wouldn't believe the day I had at work. It was simply exhausting! I almost…Larry Bird, are you alright?" Jackie asked, staring at her spouse curiously.
Larry suddenly realized how weird he must've looked, standing in the middle of the living room and rubbing the sides of his back-bump.
"Yes, yes. I'm fine. My back's just a bit sore and the baby's a little distressed as well."
"Are you sure? You don't think that, I mean, maybe it might be-" She said, eyes widening.
"No, it's not time. Not yet. I still have a few weeks left." Larry said, assuring himself more than Jackie.
"Well, if you're certain it's not that, do you think I could maybe, possibly…feel it move?" She asked, grinning broadly.
"Wife, we've talked about this-"
"Husband, you know how much I love it. It's the best part of my day. Please, just for a moment or two?"
Larry knew he couldn't win this, and even if he did put his foot down this time, Jackie would still pressure him into it later. And, despite the fact that he found it to be an invasion of personal space, he really did like making Jackie happy.
"Alright." He sighed.
Larry Bird climbed, or best he could, onto the nearest bar stool. He'd been having to sit in chairs backwards for weeks now, and he surmised that was the main reason his back was in its knotted state. He felt Jackie lightly lay her hand on the top of his bump, where the movement was most apparent. Around the halfway point in the gestation period, light flutters of movement were replaced by strong kicks and punches that could be seen on the surface. Larry hadn't had a full night's sleep since, and quickly regretted agreeing on a third child.
"It's very active today. Husband, I must admit I'm a bit jealous. You know, if we were completely human, I could know what it's like to be in your shoes. I've always sort of wanted to know what it's like…" Jackie prattled on.
"You can't be serious. First Reggie Jackson, now you too?" Larry said.
"Larry Bird, I wasn't saying I wanted to be human, I only meant I was curious about how they reproduce. I find it fascinating! Debby Weaver showed me her old baby scrapbooks, and I borrowed her 'What to expect' book. Some parts were utterly disgusting, but mostly it was fascinating." She said.
"Human pregnancies are abnormal. The babies are carried in the front, which is just bizarre, and everyone knows men carry better anyway. It's completely backwards." Larry responded roughly.
"It was just a fantasy is all. No need to get so upset." Jackie said.
"I'm NOT…I'm not upset." He said.
The baby had calmed significantly, much to Larry's relief. Jackie Joyner-Kersee joined her husband at the counter. She knew from past pregnancies not to take his words personally. He could be extremely melodramatic at times. But even so, the excitement of preparing for the new baby had worn of, and all that was left was the anxious waiting period. And not having any insight on how the baby was, even whether it was a boy or a girl, didn't ease the tension. They were both extremely stressed, and bickering was frequent.
"Husband," she said softly, holding Larry's hand, "I know you're worried. Scared, even."
"I am not-" He started.
"You are. I know because you refuse to even talk about the baby. Whenever I bring it up, you change the subject. I really think it's time for us to talk about this." Jackie continued.
"Wife, that is ridiculous. I'm supreme leader. Why on Earth would I be worried?" Larry scoffed.
"Maybe because this is the first time we're doing something this big without our community to support us?"
He didn't respond. This was the first time anyone had brought up the community's departure in a long while. Larry was still struggling with the tremendous blow to his ego that it was. He had been de-throned, as it were, and now questioned if he was ever as good of a leader as he thought. It was hard to think about the Bird-Kersee's being the only Zabvronians left on Earth. Stranded on the planet, even.
"I think you're afraid of the unknown. Of possibly not having a plan for the first time in a long time. Of not knowing which hole the baby will come out of." Jackie Joyner-Kersee continued.
Larry cringed a bit about the last part, rubbing the side of his bump nervously.
"But just know that, no matter what, I'll be right here for you. Not just me, but Reggie Jackson and Dick Butkus. If you need to talk, we're here."
Jackie patted his hand and left the counter. Larry fully intended to let her leave, but realized solitude wasn't what he needed. Jackie had been right about everything thus far, and Larry really needed to be honest with someone about his true feelings.
"Jackie, wait," he said, "you're right. I'm…afraid."
She just smiled in an understanding way and returned to her seat.
"You don't think less of me because of it, do you?" He asked hesitantly.
"Of course not, Larry Bird. I'm scared, too. Why else would I be reading 'What to Expect?' It's a weird book, but I'm trying desperately to figure out how the delivery is going to work. You don't exactly have the proper human…parts." Jackie said, wincing slightly as images from the book came to mind.
"Well, we certainly can't go to a human hospital. It's too risky." Larry frowned, deep in thought.
"That reminds me of something else that's been on my mind lately." Jackie said.
Larry Bird nodded, urging Jackie to continue.
"I know it's farfetched, but I can't help wondering, well, what if the baby is a…human?"
Larry's eyes widened and he cleared his throat, searching his frazzled mind for a halfway decent response. In the end, he couldn't.
"I don't know. I've honestly never thought about it before." He admitted.
"I realize it's a bit out there, and as far as we know our disguises don't affect our DNA, but I can't help thinking it's not completely impossible." She said.
"Improbable, but no, not impossible."
"How would we manage? Life would be different with a human in the house."
"I suppose we'd have to adjust. Start actually using the kitchen, and taking the plants out of the bathrooms. That, or we could just give the baby away."
"Larry Bird!" Jackie snapped, swatting her husband's arm.
"Joking! Only joking. God, woman." Larry smirked.
But to his surprise, Jackie didn't cheer up. She still had a worried look on her face and a tired air about her.
"What is it now?" Larry asked.
"Oh, Larry Bird. I wish I could trade places with you. I'd do it in a heartbeat, and it'd make everything so much easier for everybody." She said.
"Not for you. You'd be miserable. Trust me!" He said, massaging his stiff back.
"No I wouldn't! Husband, you have this special bond with our children that I'll never understand. Even when we lived on our home planet, I was jealous that you got to carry the babies. It all just seemed so wonderful." Jackie said.
"JJK, you have a special bond, too. You know how to communicate with them in ways I never can, and you somehow always know what's happening in their lives when I'm scarcely paying attention. I'm actually a bit jealous of you, to be quite honest."
"You're sometimes so sweet when you're hormonal." Jackie smiled, squeezing his hand.
"Wife, I would honestly trade places with you as well, but it's not a real, possible option. At least not this far along. We're going to have to go about this birth thing from a whole different angle." He said.
"It's problems like this that make me miss Zabvron. All the comforts of home we don't have on Earth. Like common medical care. Human doctors are completely incapable of handling anything different." Jackie sighed.
"Do you wish we had returned with the community?" Larry asked solemnly, gently rubbing Jackie's hand.
"No," Jackie sighed, "I wish they hadn't left."
Larry Bird wrapped his arm around Jackie Joyner-Kersee's shoulders, letting her lean into him for solace. It was the first time since the community's departure that they'd let the feeling of being alone really sink in. Completely cut off from family and friends, they'd never felt so alien to the planet Earth until now.
In the middle of the quiet moment, Larry felt the baby start moving again. Without saying anything, he took Jackie's hand and laid it on the site of the kicking. He grinned as her face lit up with pure joy, and he was reminded of why he'd agreed to a third child in the first place.
"Do you think we might get a girl this time? It'd be nice to have another female in this house." Jackie commented.
"I sure hope so. I've been wanting a daughter since season one." Larry added.
"I suppose we just sort of forgot about that plotline."
Larry nodded, staring off into space.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Debbie Weaver invited us over for dinner tonight. The boys are already there, we might as well head over." Jackie said, getting off the bar stool.
"Why do the Weaver's do that? They know we don't eat!" Larry exclaimed.
"I don't know, but let's not hurt their feelings. They're the only friends we've got left." Jackie said.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee walked off, and got halfway to the front door before turning around to go back and help her stranded husband.
"Easy does it." Jackie said, helping him to his feet.
"I'm afraid I'm not as agile as I used to be." He said, trying to find his center of gravity.
"It won't be like this much longer. The baby will be here before we know it." Jackie said, patiently helping Larry towards the door.
"Darling," he said, gripping his wife's hand, "that's honestly what I'm afraid of."