Shawn Spencer wondered what horrible, unimaginable sin he had committed that made him deserving of being in his current situation.
"Ten is the best number!"
"Eight! Say eight, damn it!"
You'd think that when a witch fused your normal, boring world with a world filled with monsters, magic and people who could transform into weapons that there'd be a grand adventure involved that would become legend that people would talk about for centuries after it happened, right?
"Eight is the most perfect number in existence! It doesn't matter if you cut horizontally or vertically, it will always stay perfectly symmetrical!"
"But ten can be split into two equal groups of five!"
"Well, eight can be split into two equal groups of four! And four is an even number! With ten, you'll always have two left over!"
That's right. Instead of going on a kick-ass adventure Shawn was stuck in a tiny apartment in San Fransicso babysitting two neurotic beings (because one of them was forthcoming about not being human...and he refused to believe that the other was human. Period.) who were spending precious time that could be used to...do whatever needed to be done in this situation arguing about what the best number was.
Sharona (Monk's assistant) and Gus (Shawn's best friend and partner in crime) had long ago disappeared (Oh, I'm sorry; "Went shopping so there'd be enough food for everyone." When did he agree to temporarily move in with a obsessive compulsive clean freak?!) with Death The Kid's (It doesn't matter if you're Death incarnate, who names their son that?!) "weapons", Liz and Patty.
"Well two is an even number."
"But what are you even adding it to?!"
Shawn's hands moved towards his temple, but to massage a headache away instead of channel "visions from the spirits". Wait...Shawn abruptly threw himself off of Monk's couch, awkwardly tripping over the table in front of it.
"What are you doing?!" Monk exclaimed dismayed. Kid watched curiously.
Shawn made sure to stumble a bit as he made his way over to the two neurotics, two fingers on his right hand pressed to his temple, his left hand blindly waving around. Monk flinched when Shawn came to a stop between him and Kid and tried to pull away when Shawn's left hand came done to grip his shoulder tightly.
"Guys, the spirits can hear you arguing all the way from the spirit world!" Shawn said.
Monk was barely paying attention to a word Shawn said, to busy trying to escape from his grip. Kid merely raised an eyebrow. Obviously, he had little faith in Shawn's psychic powers. (Shawn hopes the day that Kid meets Lassiter never comes.) And he had good reason to; having been present when the witch cast her spell but unable to stop her (or so he claimed), Kid knew that the witch had fused his world with a non-magic one. And whilst the two worlds were fused, Liz and Patty (and every other weapon) could not transform, but the witches still retained the use of their magic.
"They're getting powerful headaches so they've decided to put an end to your argument using me as their proxy!" Shawn continued. The way Kid's expression changed from disbelief to curiosity and the fact that Monk (mostly) stopped struggling, told Shawn he had them hooked. Shawn stood silently for a few moments just to annoy the two and then spoke once more in an over-dramatic, "ghostly" voice," The best number is...nine!" Shawn decreed.
Kid let out a disbelieving squeak (though he would deny that later) and Monk began to stammer. "W-WHY NINE?"
"Because it's the best! It's neither eight or ten, there's no way to split it into two equal groups and it's in between both of them!" Shawn replied, still using his over-dramatic "ghost" voice.
Kid huffed indignantly. "I knew you couldn't talk to the spirits! No otherworldly being would dare disgrace themselves by claiming nine to be better than eight OR ten!"
"I agree!...except for the part about otherworldly beings."
Shawn let go of Monk's shoulder (who immediately let out a loud noise of relief a contentedness, awkwardly wiping his shoulder free of germs with his sleeve, all the while rolling his shoulder to bring the feeling back into it.), dropped his other hand to his side and shrugged. "Hey, I don't make the rules. But the spirits are almost never wrong."
"Would you stop saying the word 'Spirits'?!" Kid demanded.
By the time Sharona, Gus, Liz and Patty returned to Monk's home, all except Patty carrying shopping bags, Shawn, Kid and Monk were in the middle of an argument over whether Shawn could, in fact, "talk to the spirits".
Patty giggled while the others groaned in annoyance and frustration. "See, big sis! I told you they'd stay where we left them!"
HOPE YOU ENJOYED. IT'S BEEN A WHILE SINCE I'VE HAD ACCESS TO AN ACTUAL COMPUTER, SO I TYPED THIS UP AS A WARM UP. THIS IDEA HAS ACTUALLY BEEN FLOATING AROUND IN MY HEAD FOR TWO YEARS NOW. IT WAS INFLUENCED MAINLY BY THE COMMERCIALS OF MONK AND SHAWN INTERACTING AND MULTIPLE RE-WATCHES OF THE EPISODE WERE KID BECOMES A STUDENT AT HIS FATHER'S SCHOOL. IT IS ALSO MY BELIEF THAT MONK AND PSYCH TAKE PLACE IN THE SAME UNIVERSE, HENCE WHY IT'S ONLY STATED THAT TWO DIMENSIONS FUSED TOGETHER.
REVIEWS ARE WELCOMED, BUT NOT DEMANDED. HAVE A NICE DAY!