"Because I Love You"

It was a spur of the moment decision. Scott had no intention of going to the Argent household before Chris and Isaac left for France. He was almost afraid; afraid to walk in the door to the place where she lived in peace as a normal seventeen year old girl, where he felt her pressed against him in the closet, her heart pounding in his hyper-sensitive ears. He was afraid that if he went he would never want to leave, but would instead drown himself in what used to be and what could never happen. The only thing worse than experiencing his own grief would be looking into Chris' eyes seeing the sadness there.

He never admitted it out loud, but Scott blamed himself for Allison's death. If he had only ran a little faster, if only he had understood Lydia's message or if he had never left her in the first place…Every night as he went to sleep he went over a hundred what-ifs. He mourned Allison, and the future they would never have together.

Scott may not have been dating Allison at the time of her death, but he still loved her. She was his very first love and he would never fully let go of the bond that they shared. Kira was cute and awkward and kind, but Scott believed that no matter what happened, one day he and Allison would find their way back to each other. It never crossed his mind that she could die. Allison was too young, too resilient. She was too alive. There were times when Scott thought about the house they would own, their wedding day with Stiles and Lydia by their sides. He thought about Allison teaching their future children how to master the bow. None of this would ever happen now. Allison didn't even reach her eighteenth birthday. She didn't get to go to prom or graduate…

Scott raised his fist to knock on the door and felt himself begin to sweat nervously. This would be far worse than visiting Allison's grave. A grave is some grass and a slab of concrete. It's where she laid in death. Her home is where she was filled with life. Chris came to the door after a few knocks and looked at Scott in a way that conveyed more than words ever could. He then pulled him into an unexpected but much needed embrace.

"It's good to see you, Scott." Chris said, voice strong and controlled.

Scott smiled feebly before saying, "Yeah, you too."

"So, can I help you with anything? Isaac isn't here actually…he's out."

"Actually, I'm not here to see Isaac, Mr. Argent…" Scott's mouth felt dry. He coughed to clear his throat and inhaled deeply to steady his breathing. "I'm here to um…I need to say goodbye to her. The right way. Before it's all gone…I need to just feel…"

"You don't need to explain. I understand." Chris squeezed Scott's shoulder and led him down the hall to Allison's room. Scott felt as though he had never taken a longer walk. The closer the door came, the more his chest constricted, the more he wanted to run away from the apartment, away from Beacon Hills, away from everything that his life had become in the last year.

"Take as long as you need, Scott. I need to go and finish packing some things up."

Chris walked away, leaving Scott in the hallway facing the white door. He put one hand to the wood and reached for the doorknob with the other hand. A turn and a push and he was in the only place left on this earth that still had something of Allison's essence left. Her scent was still overwhelmingly present as though the door had been vacuum sealed to keep it there. Scott almost crumbled right then and there. He felt tears he had been fighting for weeks welling up, making it hard to breathe and even harder to swallow. He went straight to her bed, left untouched, and sat gingerly on the edge of the mattress. Allison's crossbow rested on her dresser, next to a picture of her and Lydia. Hair ties and packs of chewing gum litter a dish on her nightstand next to a pen and notebook.

Scott rose and paced around the room, taking in every detail. He felt as though any moment Allison would walk into the room, strong and beautiful and alive.

"She'll never walk into this room again." He said aloud to himself. He then walked to the closet, pulled open the doors, and breathed in her scent. He closed his eyes and thought about nothing but her. He thought about all the good times they had together. About that damn pen he gave her on her first day. He remembered the time they skipped school together for her birthday, and the first time they made love when all he could feel was her and he had never been happier or more content. He thought of her face and tried to recall every small detail and hold on to her as much as he could. He wanted to remember her laughter and her dimpled cheeks. He didn't want his last memory to be of her struggle to breathe with blood on her lips.

He was careful not to move anything in the room. That was something that Chris would have to do when he was ready. Scott would never take that away from him. Allison was his first and true love, but she was Chris' baby girl and he wanted to let Chris take apart this room in his own time.

Scott stepped back and closed the closet doors before he kicked off his shoes and stretched out on Allison's bed. A crinkling noise reached his ears. It was so muffled that no normal human would have picked up on it. He listened hard for a few seconds and then shifted on the bed. Scott realized that it was coming from beneath him. There was nothing paper-y lying on top of the comforter when he laid down…It took a few moments, but Scott finally slid off the bed and carefully lifted the mattress up, reaching beneath it until his hand felt the thin edge of a piece of paper and he tugged it from its hiding place.

It was folded and small and Scott considered rather he should just put it back or open it. Eventually he unfolded the piece of paper and sat back down on the bed. Inside was Allison's handwriting scrawled across the page:

Scott:

I knew that if something happened you would find yourself here at some point. I hope you never have to find this. However, if at some point you do. I need to let you know that I want you to be happy. I want you to find love and be happy and live your life to the fullest, Scott.

Because I love you.

Love, Allison

Finally, Scott cried. He cried hard and loud until his throat was raw and his head began to ache. He cried until his body finally relaxed and he felt the kind of calm you feel right before you fall asleep. Wiping the salty remnants of his tears away, he folded the message and placed it in the pocket of his jean jacket over his heart. When he reached Allison's door he turned to look over her room one last time. Without thinking he rubbed his tattoo. If he thought that his break up with Allison felt like an open wound, Allison's death would be the deepest and most painful wound of all. He would heal though. This wound would heal far slower than any physical wound to his wolf hide; it needed time. But, no matter how much time passed he would never forget the new girl in class who borrowed his pen and stole his heart.

"Goodbye, Allison Argent. I love you." Scott whispered as he walked out of her room. He gently closed the white door behind him.