Title: Fade to Black
Author: Jeniveela
Category: Angst/Drama
Summary: Songfic to Evanescence's 'My Last Breath' that revolves around the rooftop scene at the end of 'Matrix Reloaded' with Neo and Trinity.
Rating: PG-13 for sci-fi violence and angst.
Disclaimer: I do not own 'The Matrix' nor am I affiliated with Warner Bros. in any way, shape, or form. I also don't own the lyrics to 'My Last Breath', which belong to the band Evanescence and, presumably, to the record label Wind-Up.
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 'THE MATRIX RELOADED'.
(Just had to get that little disclaimer thing out of the way before I have angry readers yelling at me in their reviews…)
A/N: This is my first Matrix fanfic, and it is a songfic to Evanescence's 'My Last Breath' off of their 'Fallen' CD. The whole songfic revolves mostly around Neo and Trinity and the rooftop scene at the end of 'The Matrix Reloaded'. Thoughts are written in parenthesis and in italics. The song lyrics are written in this text format between these dividers: ~*~*~*~*
Please, please, please read and review! Compliments, comments, and constructive criticism are all accepted and appreciated. Flames will be given to my own personal Balrog. Domo arigato!
~*~*~*~*
Hold on to me, love…
You know I can't stay long…
~*~*~*~*
She was falling…falling…falling…
The shrill wind screamed its wild, untamed fury into her ears, doing fierce battle with the never ending crack of gunshots ringing in her ears. The barrage of bullets streaked down at her in an unending downpour of deadly, black rain, and each bullet fired at her was a fiery orange, metallic raindrop that wanted to end her life right there and then. Each gunshot screamed past her, narrowly missing her each time. The closer it got to her, the shriller it shrieked in her ears with a malevolent, sadistic glee, taunting her, reminding her that her death was getting closer and closer with each bullet being rained down upon her…Closer and closer…
~*~*~*~*
All I wanted to say was I love you,
And I'm not afraid…
~*~*~*~*
But she was not going down without a fight. She clenched the triggers of her guns in a death grip, clenched them so tightly that her knucklebones showed white through her flesh. The guns spewed a steady, deadly rain of bullets right back up at the falling Agent glaring down at her as he unloaded his ammo on her, at the sky, the black, black sky that seemed further and further away, at the monolithic, gleaming skyscraper that knifed up into the shrouded night sky like a black, glittering dagger that grew taller and taller as she fell further and further…
("Neo…Neo, where are you? I don't want to die this way…But if I have to, I want to see you again…even if it's just one last time…")
~*~*~*~*
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?
~*~*~*~*
The world rushed past her in a grayish-blue blur, a phantasmagoria of muted colors- the black of the night sky falling away from her and of the skyscraper whipping past her, the violent reddish-orange of the bullets shrieking past her like deadly comets- all whirling together into a dizzying, nauseating, nightmarish blur that blinded her…
Blinded her to everything but the grim, steely gleam of triumph in the Agent's mirrored sunglasses as he pulled the trigger one last time…
Pain…excruciating, exquisite pain…Blinding agony such as she had never felt before exploded in her chest, and she wasn't sure if it was from her internal organs being ripped apart as the bullet lodged itself inside her chest or her heart bursting into a thousand shattered shards of sorrow as she realized something for the very first time…
She would never see Neo again…
~*~*~*~*
Holding my last breath,
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you…
~*~*~*~*
("Goodbye, Neo…I love you…")
It was the last conscious thought that registered in the dull, dying recesses of her mind as she vaguely felt herself release her grip on the guns and plummet to her death…
~*~*~*~*
Sweet raptured light,
It ends here tonight…
~*~*~*~*
Meanwhile…
His long trench coat, dark as the material of night itself, billowed out behind him in the buffeting shrill wind, flapping and snapping against his body like the powerful, dark wings of an avenging angel.
"She is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it…"
The Architect's words echoed in his mind, mocking him, taunting him from the deepest, most obscure voids of his consciousness like a threat veiled in the haven of the shadows as he streaked across the sky, a mere flash of light tearing across the black oblivion of night. He raced toward the skyscraper thrusting up past the jagged city skyline like a dark shard of glass, racing toward the monolithic building and toward Trinity…
("Neo, can you hear me?")
~*~*~*~*
I'll miss the winter,
A world of fragile things…
~*~*~*~*
The howling wind slapped him in the face as it rushed at him head-on, tearing and ripping mercilessly at his eyes and throat like the cruel, cold, steely claws of the savage beast of sorrow that would not stop until it had clawed his heart out. If he lost Trinity, he knew that it would not have to. Losing her would kill him right then and there…
The screaming wind clawing relentlessly at his eyes nearly blinded him, blinded him to everything but her…He could see her in the code of the Matrix, a humanoid figure of whirling neon green, white, and black symbols, a falling, whirling figure…He could see her falling, see the myriad of every-streaming columns of green symbols streaming into eternity pierce her limp body as she fell through them, fell past them…Falling…Falling…Falling…
("Neo, where are you?")
~*~*~*~*
Look for me in the white forest,
Hiding in a hollow tree…
(Come find me…)
~*~*~*~*
And then he saw her, actually saw her with his own eyes, not as a figure composed of scrolling, neon symbols outlined in an eerie, spectral green glow, but as an actual living human, his Trinity…She was plummeting to her death, falling, falling, a prone figure clad in raiment the benighted color of death…Falling…Falling…
He threw himself forward, rocketing toward her. The air around him hissed as it crackled off him into luminous, scorching sparks as he tore through the air, igniting the atmosphere around him as if he was an incoming comet.
She was falling…falling…
And he was reaching, grabbing, clutching for her, so close that he could see the metallic, steely, inhuman glint of bitter triumph gleaming maliciously in the Agent's mirrored sunglasses as he bore down upon her, so close that he could see the tiny, dark rubies of blood quivering on Trinity's parted lips as she softly mouthed one last word up at the departing right havens.
"Neo…"
~*~*~*~*
I know you can hear me…
I can taste it in your tears…
~*~*~*~*
"TRINITY!"
She was falling, falling, plummeting toward the long, narrow street below that stretched on and on like dark, asphalt arms longing to hold her in an embrace of death-
He was reaching, grabbing, clutching for her-
She slammed into his arms, her limp, dying body rocking against his chest from the impact of colliding against him as he snatched her from the air.
A second later, he heard the earsplitting shriek of crunching, twisting metal as the Agent went on falling…falling…right into a car driving by below.
He soared up into the sky, a dark angel rising up into the void of night, a dark angel who was clinging to his only salvation that was slipping away from him minute by minute…He could feel Trinity, feel her solid form in his arms, pressed against his chest, against his pounding heart…and he could feel the horrifying warmth of her blood as it spread across his front when her limp body pressed against his chest.
She was dying…
He was half-blind as he wheeled sharply in the sky, arching back around the skyscraper, and shooting back toward a nearby building rooftop, and this time it was not from the searing slash of the oncoming, savage, screaming wind that ripped at his eyes like a murderer's merciless knives. This time it was from the hot, burning tears welling up in his eyes…
The building rooftop loomed up before him, just another dark, towering, imposing shape in the sea of glinting buildings rising up out of the darkness. Clutching Trinity to his chest, he landed on the rooftop with all the unnatural, eerie, catlike grace of a phantom descending upon its victim.
"Neo…"
As he gently laid her still body down on the rooftop, he was not sure whether he was hearing her softly call out to him, speaking what could be her last words, or if it was just the ghastly, sadistically gleeful specters of sorrow and regret whispering cruel taunting, meaningless words into his soul to torture him as he gazed upon Trinity, his Trinity, and saw the cruel, cruel, nightmarish reality looming before both of them.
Her face was deathly pale, her quivering lips tinged a light, pallid grayish-blue as dark crimson blood blossomed in her mouth like a gruesome flower spreading open its petals. Her eyes were glazed over with the glossy, unnaturally bright light of death creeping slowly over her as she gazed off sightlessly, not staring at him but past him to something, or some place, that he could not see.
"Neo…" she whispered, and this time he knew he was not imagining it because he could see her trembling lips move, see the blood, the red, red blood, bloom onto her ashen lips and trickle from the corner of her mouth as a thin, scarlet river. "Neo, I had to…"
~*~*~*~*
Holding my last breath,
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you…
~*~*~*~*
Suddenly, her whole body convulsed in a violent tremor as she shuddered with agony, forcing a pained cry from her throat that echoed in the still, night air and ripped into Neo's heart, making him jolt as if he had been shot through the heart. He gripped her hand tightly and watched in horror as her chest heaved violently, the blood spreading over her chest, a dark, gleaming stain on shiny, black leather.
"I know," he whispered softly, his voice low and trembling as he gazed helplessly at the infinitely dark stain spreading across her chest and at the hole, the entry wound, where the blood blossomed forth. Slowly, he reached down his shaking hand and gently touched the area near the hideous entry wound, forcing a choked, agonized cry from Trinity. He whispered, his voice soft partially from shock and from helpless horror, "The bullet is still inside…"
He could see the bullet inside her, see it in the vast, streaming code of the Matrix, a small, solid form buried within the eerily luminous code of her heart, erratically convulsing and relaxing in a desperate attempt to keep Trinity alive. And he knew it would be an attempt made all in vain if the bullet remained lodged within her body…
Then, without even thinking about it, he placed his hand against her chest above the entry wound…and pressed down…His hand went right through the solid material of her chest into her body as if it was only water. He could feel her blood, her warm, warm blood flowing through him, feel her body shudder and heave with each forced, shallow breath she gasped for, feel her body recoiling and dying, slipping away more and more with each second that the bullet remained inside her…
Unhesitant, he deftly grasped the bullet. He could feel the tissue of her heart fluttering frantically against his fingers as his fingers closed on the cold, cruel metal of the bullet and pulled it up and out of her body in one swift motion. As soon as he had removed the bullet, Trinity sharply writhed and twisted in agony, fighting back an agonized, tortured cry.
As her body fell limply back onto the cold, hard cement, she gasped sharply and gazed up at him, her dull eyes veiled with the dimming shroud of oncoming death, and her hand clutched his weakly with all the remaining mortal strength that she could muster. The pulse in her neck fluttered wildly as she gasped for one last breath to utter her last words.
"Neo…" she whispered softly. Her eyes were glassy and hazy as she locked eyes with him one last time. "I'm sorry…"
Then slowly…slowly…Trinity gently released her grip on his hand, and her head sank back lifelessly onto the cement, her wide and staring eyes, twin abysses of infinite sorrow, reflecting the horrified expression of her lover as he watched her fall back and die.
~*~*~*~*
Sweet raptured light,
It ends here tonight…
~*~*~*~*
For a time, he sat still and motionless, frozen with moral shock as he stared wide-eyed and trembling at her dead body. He saw the green, luminescent, streaming code within her appear to slow to a stop as she died, as her chest stopped struggling to rise and fall unevenly while she gasped for her last breath, as her heart stopped beating. And then the heartrending realization hit him. She was dead. Trinity was dead. His Trinity, the only woman he had ever loved, was dead, gone from him forever…
He shook his head wildly like a drunken man trying to shake off a terrible dream. No…No…NO. This could not be…She couldn't be dead…He wouldn't let her go…He couldn't…
~*~*~*~*
Closing your eyes to disappear…
You pray your dreams will leave you here…
~*~*~*~*
Lowering his face to hers, he whispered hoarsely, "Trinity…" His tears dampened her ghostly pale skin as he leaned close. He was so close to her that his lips gently brushed her cold, deathly pallid skin as he spoke, a gentle, yet powerful caress that physically imparted the heavy, sorrowful meaning of each and every word he whispered into her, into her ear, into her body, into her still heart. "Trinity, I know you can hear me. I'm not letting go. I can't. I love you too damn much."
Then he pressed his hand against her chest, sliding directly into her body. In that moment, there were no barriers between them, nothing stopping one from blending into the other until they were as one being with one soul. Through the code of the Matrix, he could see her still heart, and he reached for it, his hand pressed against her heart.
"Trinity, I'm not letting go…"
~*~*~*~*
But still you wake and know the truth…
No one's there…
~*~*~*~*
He thrust his hand into her chest, thrust it against her heart, forcing it to beat, forcing it to pump the blood through her body. When the tissue remained still, he did it again and again, rhythmically stroking her heart, trying to forcefully remind it how to contract and relax, contract and relax, how to support the life of the woman he loved…
("Come on, Trinity…I'm not letting go…Don't let go…")
~*~*~*~*
Say goodnight…
Don't be afraid…
Calling me, calling me
As you fade to black…
~*~*~*~*
Suddenly, he felt her body jerk violently beneath him as if she had just received an electric shock. Her heart was throbbing back into life, fluttering again in his hand, and he withdrew from her body, both startled and overjoyed.
"Neo…" she gasped hoarsely as she jerked upright, clutching his hand in hers weakly as he anxiously slipped an arm around her back and clutched her to his chest, against his own heart.
Trinity slowly tilted her head up to his and then suddenly pressed her lips against his, and they both shared her first new breaths together. Her restored heart jumped and leaped against his, and her skin was warm against his with new life coursing through her body.
As she drew away for a moment, she locked eyes with him and whispered softly, "I guess that makes us even."
Then, with no more weight than the calmed wind whispering past the buildings around them, their lips met again in a long, lingering, deepening kiss while the world held its breath around the two oblivious lovers…
~*~*~*~*
Sweet raptured light,
It ends here tonight…
~*~*~*~*
~*FIN*~