A/N: OK, here's a little light one-shot from my Captain Hill universe. Takes place before and at the beginning of Avengers 1. I don't think it's technically A/U but we'll call it that just because I have no idea. ;)
"As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it."
― Andy Warhol
Over the years, SHIELD Director Nick Fury had made decisions that had confused now Deputy Director Maria Hill, decisions that had angered her, surprised her, worried her, left her dumbfounded and amazed, but none had ever piqued her ire the way the decision he made regarding Agent Phil Coulson and Captain America had.
"Sir, I think Coulson would," Maria tried to say.
"Hill," Fury cut her off. "I've made my decision. Sitwell will be overseeing Captain Rogers for the time being. Coulson is needed elsewhere."
It had never taken her so long to regain control of her emotions enough to say, through gritted teeth, "Yes, sir."
She turned on her heel and walked stiffly from Fury's office.
The rest of the day was a red haze in Maria's mind. She tried not to let her anger at Fury seep into her responses and found herself biting back inappropriate reactions more often than usual. She couldn't understand the man's choice. Coulson had asked, respectfully, if he could oversee Rogers. For Coulson, that was practically begging for this assignment. He'd never asked specifically for one before. He would voice an opinion, and sometimes, they all remembered when Barton brought Widow in, he'd stand against everyone in defense of the seemingly insane antics of his agents; most of the time, however, he essentially always did what he was commanded. He was, in Maria's opinion, the ideal agent. She'd thought Fury felt the same. But the commander obviously didn't feel that sort of loyalty and commitment deserved a peach assignment like this one.
Instead, he had Coulson, and Hawkeye, of all people, stuffed underground in New Mexico looking after a glowing cube SHEILD had pulled out with the Captain. And that was, apparently, as close to Captain America as Fury was willing to let him get. Yes, Coulson had been allowed to take a peek at the man while he slept. Everyone from level 6 up had been. But this assignment to oversee Rogers' acclimation was the thing of Coulson's dreams, and Maria didn't imagine Coulson, company man that he was, had a lot of those.
She finally realized she'd have to compartmentalize her outrage if she expected to accomplish anything that day, and she set it aside until she could take it out on a punching bag in the gym.
It was late by the time Maria made it to the SHIELD gym inside their New York headquarters. The halls were practically deserted, and, at this time of day, after the day she'd had, she hoped the gym was the same.
She wasn't disappointed, or wouldn't have been, if by "practically deserted" she meant the only other person there was Captain America, himself.
He looked up from the bag he was punching and she acknowledged him with a silent nod. He returned the nod and then went back to his workout on the bag. It was a relief to her that he didn't start up a conversation. She hadn't come here to talk about her day, she'd come here to work out her frustrations, ones that centered on the only other person in the room.
She warmed up with some time on the treadmill before starting her circuit. Her mind continued to register Rogers' attack on the bag as she took out her anger at Fury on the machines. She would have liked to have said it surprised her that it was so personal this time, but it didn't. She was deeply aware that she owed Coulson everything. He was the one who saw her potential early on, the one who had always backed her and pointed her out to their superiors as an excellent candidate for whichever the next promotion was. There was a time when the rumor mill had her sleeping with him to get the attention. Coulson had quickly, efficiently, and, sometimes, rather forcefully, squashed those rumors.
She had acknowledged his help, but he had only told her he would have done the same for anyone as capable as she. Maria knew him to be painfully honest when it came to work, so she had no reason to doubt him. Coulson was, to her, the last in the long line of teachers who believed in her, even when the people who should have didn't. His job advice and counsel were always spot on. Even when she quickly rose through the ranks ahead of him, he was never jealous, never wavered in his encouragement. Even now, as Deputy Director, she knew he was one of the few people she could trust implicitly.
After everything he had done for her, she simply wanted to give him one thing, the one thing she was certain he desired more than any other, and Fury was being a complete ass. Maria knew the director had more than just an inkling of how Coulson felt about Captain America. In her opinion, Fury's decision was the worst sort of pettiness. Coulson had gone at least two rounds with Tony Stark, that alone should count for something. Instead, Sitwell was sent in. Not that Jasper was a bad choice, he just wasn't the right choice.
"You know, you might try the bag," a quiet, but strongly masculine voice pulled her out of her thoughts. "I don't think the machines were meant to be treated so roughly."
Startled, she looked up from the bench to see Captain America at her side.
She slowly relaxed her arms so the weights set back in place before sitting. He offered her his hand to help her up as she stood but she ignored it.
"I'm not sure we've ever been properly introduced," he said, then held out his hand again.
"Steve Rogers," he said.
She stood and looked in his eyes for any sign of mockery. Surely he must know that everyone knew who he was. But she saw only the sincerest honesty. It was just more proof to Maria that Captain America truly was everything Coulson had ever told her.
She took his hand, it was warm and the hand shake was firm, yet somehow gentle.
"Maria Hill," she replied, surprising herself at not using her title, but feeling as if it would have been boastful since he'd only introduced himself using his name.
He looked at her for a long time, and Maria tried not to let his examination affect her. Then he suddenly he turned his eyes away, as if he just realized what he'd been doing.
"I, uh," he started, looking nervous now. "I'm leaving, so if you want to use the bag."
He pointed over to the spot he'd been when she first arrived.
She nodded a "thanks" at him and he turned, grabbing up his bag, and left the gym. The silence in his wake seemed too loud to Maria. She realized then that his hits on the bag had been driving her since she'd arrived. It was an odd revelation because that had never happened to her before. She really didn't want to think about what it meant.
Maria managed to avoid Steve Rogers for several more weeks. Between the travel required for her job, and being able to keep tabs on where he was through Sitwell, she assured herself the luxury of not having to face the question she had refused to answer herself that night in the gym.
She tried to pass along what she could, which wasn't much, to Coulson in casual, un-SHIELD monitored conversation, whenever she visited New Mexico. Fury remained adamant on his decision, but Maria did manage to work in a few of Coulson's recommendations about Rogers, beginning with getting him off base housing. The fact that he should have that luxury had been something Maria had also argued from almost the beginning, but after Sitwell, and a few other agents, took it upon themselves to teach Rogers about modern culture, she pressed harder.
"What the hell are you doing?" Maria put all the command she could into her voice to cover the shock of walking into the Officer's Lounge and discovering several male agents, and Rogers, watching what they were on TV.
All the men stood abruptly at attention, and Maria almost smirked. She glanced at Rogers, who looked as if he was going to be sick. The horror at what he was viewing that she'd seen on his face for the few moments she'd observed the situation before barking her order, now turned a tinge green at the shock of being discovered by a woman while watching it.
"We're simply helping Captain Rogers learn more about the culture," came one young agent's, Harris, she thought, response.
"Really?" Maria said, sarcasm and displeasure seeping into her tone and her stance. "Because it looks to me like you're all sitting around, when you should be working, and watching Benny Hill."
There was snicker from another agent who couldn't control his reaction to something that had just happened on the screen. Maria cast him a death stare and was slightly satisfied when he started to tremble.
"Turn it off, Sitwell," she commanded.
He obeyed, knowing better than to question her in front of the others, but she was sure she'd hear about it later.
"Now," she continued. "I believe you are all paid to do something around here. If you don't think that pay adequate to actually perform those duties, please stop by my office and I'll personally draw you up your walking papers."
Agents scattered out the three exit doors, until only she, Rogers, and Sitwell were left.
Maria let her demeanor soften slightly now that she had only Sitwell to deal with.
"What are you doing?" she asked, truly perplexed. "Is this how you've been helping Rogers acclimate?"
"Um, no," he said. "It was just on when I was flipping the channels and one of the guys said to stop there."
The words she wanted to say would have made her sound like she was his mother, 'And would you jump off a cliff if everyone else was jumping?'
"I expect this sort of behavior from other agents, Jasper," she said, dropping formality with him. "Not from you."
"With all due respect, Maria," he said. "Captain Rogers needs to learn these things sooner or later. Otherwise he's going to have a heart attack when he's driving down the parkway and sees a billboard for a strip club."
"They advertise those places now?" Steve's voice sounded strangled. "In public? Where women and children can see them?"
Maria couldn't help but have some pity on him. The drift of the culture over the previous seventy years was far more than a person should have to take on.
She sighed and nodded her head and tried to ignore the horrified look on Steve's face.
"This isn't working," she said, then abruptly turned and walked deliberately out the door through which she'd entered moments earlier.
When she reached her office she closed the door and called up Fury immediately. She laid out her argument, trying to sound as little like Coulson as possible, concerned Fury would refuse her if it sounded like Phil's idea. And, in the end, Fury agreed.
She contacted Sitwell and gave him the address of a DC apartment and told him to pack Rogers up and get him off base ASAP. She'd considered sending him to Brooklyn or to Manhattan but she'd hoped that a change of scenery, not so full of the half-familiar, would help him.
Then she sat down and wondered why any of this even mattered, not just to SHIELD, but to her. She couldn't come up with anything definite, at least not anything she wanted to acknowledge, like the look on his face at all the misogyny and exploitation he'd just been exposed to, or the way he'd looked at her those weeks earlier in the gym, and his subsequent nervousness. And she definitely didn't want to think about how he completely ignored all the obvious flirtation when she'd watched stronger men, or so she had thought, easily fall for less. Essentially, she didn't want to think how different he was than any other man she'd known. But she could see why Coulson had such a deep admiration for him, and why Phil had turned out to be the man he was as a result.
In the end, she blamed it on Coulson. She was getting caught up in his hero-worship, that was all.
It would be another several months until she would openly acknowledge thoughts of Captain America.
Maria was recalled from New Mexico as soon as she had the rescue teams in place. Disembarking the quinjet on board the hellicarrier, she saw Fury waiting for her as she ran across the gallery deck.
"We're calling them in," he said, knowing she would understand immediately who "them" was.
"Sir," she began her usual argument, but Fury wouldn't listen.
"I've heard all your arguments, Hill," he said. "I'm not interesting in hearing them again."
They entered the lift to take them to the bridge and Maria was silent as she awaited his orders.
"Get Coulson on this," was all he told her.
They stepped off the lift and into the hallway leading to the bridge. Outside, Maria was her usual serious self, inside, though, she was smiling like the cat who'd caught the canary.
Grabbing Coulson's attention as she walked onto the bridge, she briefed him quickly and was rewarded with a glint in his brown eyes. She couldn't help but allow the corner of her mouth to turn up slightly.
"Romanoff's in Russia," she reminded him. "So send her after Banner."
"Banner?" he asked, and Maria appreciated his concern, but she also understood the need.
"Look, you know she's going to want in on this because of Barton," Maria said. "So send her after Banner, she's a big girl, you know she'll handle it fine."
Phil nodded, then set off to pinpoint Black Widow's location, while Maria felt her heart lift slightly knowing Phil was finally getting the one thing he had wanted most likely his entire life. It made the reality that one of her oldest friends in SHIELD had been turned by some crazy demi-god with a glo-stick slightly more bearable.