A/N: So here's my first shot at a Twilight fanfic. I hope it's good. (: I want to thank my darling Pixar for being my beta. She helped me with tiny details and facts that I would have gotten wrong on my own. Love ya, sista! Anyway, read and review, please and thank youuuu.
Disclaimer: Edward doesn't belong to me, no matter how hard I wish he did.
Never Existed
For the first time in over a hundred years, I felt sick. Not the kind of sick I feel when I get near a werewolf or when I hear someone's that-was-way-too-much-information thoughts, but human sick. My head was pounding—my thoughts buzzing around and not completely finishing. My hands felt clammier than usual, if that was at all possible. My unnecessary stomach churned in revolution at what I had just done.
I couldn't get the picture of the look on her face out of my mind. I could still smell her scent; feel the warmth of her body close to mine, her soft lips, and the sound of her precious heart beating faster with every word I spoke.
It'll be as if I never existed… Goodbye, Bella…
I zoomed back to my car as fast as I could. I drove faster than ever. I avoided all major roads to get away from any human contact. The last thing I needed was to break down and loose in front of a bunch of French fries.
I pulled into our empty driveway. Everyone had left for Denali, but I wasn't going with them. I had tried the coven once and I hated every moment of it. No, I was going to spend the next few months of my eternal life alone. Alone in my jail cell of bitterness, resentment, frustration, and overall sadness.
I got out of my car and began making my way towards the clearing that she (it hurt to think her name) and I had proclaimed our first date. I closed my eyes and walked at a "normal" pace, remembering the sounds and smells of that day. I replayed conversations in my head that we had once shared; never will I forget the way her carefully chosen words rolled off her tongue.
The sudden break in the trees brought me out of my little world. The clearing looked the same as it did that day, only the grass was wet from the afternoon's shower. Not caring about stains or the uncomfortable wetness, I laid down on the soft bed of green. I stretched out my limbs and closed my eyes again. I started to breathe; unnecessary or not, the shallow in and out calmed me down, and I entered my meditation zone.
Thirty minutes passed… And then it hit me.
She was gone. I was gone. We were done; over. Forever.
And it was my fault.
I started shaking. I curled up into a little ball, wrapping my arms around my knees. I buried my head in my lap, and let the grief consume me.
Was it bad? I hope not. I'm thinking that if you like my depressed style, I might continue and write one more chapter that revolves around him going to the Volturi when he finds out Bella's "dead." Sound like a plan? Cool. (: