Anakin,
I never intend for you to read this, however I pen these words nonetheless.
I want to sleep with you. Not in a sexual way, no, not like that at all. I want to climb into bed next to you, under a fleece blanket and thick, heavy comforter, in equally cozy pajamas. I want to cuddle up beside you, my head on your chest so I can hear your heartbeat. We could talk about anything, random things, like we did the other day when we sat around in the restaurant. I felt so comfortable around you... We discussed things that only the best of friends would. We laughed over the stupidest things and I actually felt free for once. I don't know what it is about you, but you make me feel different.
Maybe we could talk like that until we fell asleep. And maybe I'd kiss you, maybe just once, before I nodded off. Maybe if I was so bold.
After we wake up we could go into the kitchen and make breakfast. I'm not a great cook, but I can make breakfast. You could help me and we could have a conversation while we work. You would probably tickle me. I can tell now by the playful look in your eyes that you want to. I've even seen your hands inch to my waist, about to strike, but you pull away each time for fear of what I will do.
Honestly I wish you would go through with your silent, secretive threat. I know I shouldn't think that - it's not professional for a senator, after all. And you're a Jedi... We would never work. I suppose I can dream, though. Everyone dreams, right? Or are dreams just for your typical every day people?
Maybe I will never know what could happen between you and I, and perhaps I sound pathetic, but I must get my thoughts and feelings out, even if just on paper. Even if you never read this, if no one ever reads this, it needs to be written.
I think I might be falling for you, and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing yet.
Yours,
Padmé Amidala