Unfettered
It is their memories that bring them together; but those memories can come with shackles. Older Hope/Lightning. Post-LR.
Rated: NC-17 for strong sexual content and some language.
Supplementary content: This fic will draw from the English translation of Reminiscence: Tracer of Memories, which I found on Kaiho-sha's Tumblr. Something that'll be of interest to fans are ShadowMeowth's translation videos of the original game dialogue on YouTube, as they provide insight into the pairing that was censored in the localized version. Also, I maaaaayyyy have included a play on Lightning modeling for Louis Vuitton.
Author's Notes: This is a personal take on Hope & Lightning's meeting in the new world, along with some glimpses at (a majority of) the rest of the cast. Includes spoilers from all three FFXIII games. This pairing has been a real treasure for me. You have to do some digging, but you are rewarded with those "nuggets of gold." I've been wanting to write a lemon for these two for a long time, and after delving into the symbolism of LR and coming across the supplementary content, it felt like the right time. My writing style tends to be of the confection variety (mostly sweet, but not completely). Also, this was meant to be a one-shot, but got a bit lengthy. Please enjoy!
'I am a new soul.'
A burst of images flashed in his mind's eye, lasting no more than a second. His brain fired instantly with rebuttal, 'I am twenty-seven years old.' And it equipped him with memories to support: his childhood in rural France, his parents seeing him off as he went to the out-of-town university, graduating at the top of his class, traveling to different parts of the world to photograph and write scientific articles on the humanities and various societal practices…
He felt a pang in his heart, as if it was trying to remind him of a feeling of old sadness. 'My parents are alive?' he fleetingly wondered. His brain fired again, reminding him that he had just called them two days ago, to tell them he was moving back into town. They had sounded extremely pleased that he would be visiting with them as he searched for a new apartment… 'Of course they're alive.' But unease lingered as his mind flickered briefly with images. Images that he couldn't focus on long enough to see clearly. They were like flashes of lightning in their brevity. He tried as hard as he could to rouse them once more; to slow them. He saw his parents. Faces of people, triggering a sharp twinge in his heart. A planet, with glowing streams gathering around it. Each image showing for a tenth of a second. 'Like lightning, flashing bright, then fading away.'
Hope Estheim woke in a single bedroom apartment to his heart hammering. He wiped a light sheen of sweat from his forehead, swiping aside the hair that stuck to it. Beams of early morning light shone through the blinds covering the window. 'What is this feeling?' he thought while trying again to comb back the sweaty locks of silver-white hair with his fingers. It was as though his mind was trying to recall something long forgotten. Something ancient.
His pulse quickened, but he couldn't understand why. Normally when Hope woke up feeling disoriented, his rational mind let him work through it in seconds. This was different, somehow. It was as though he were remembering important details about an event in his life. But it wasn't something small, like what his best friend in primary school got him for his seventh birthday. It felt much larger. Vast. For a while longer he tried to recall the images in his dreams. Then he remembered a tactic he commonly employed while researching different cultures. This tactic was the reason his published work was always so highly acclaimed. He would clear his thoughts of any presumptions, or assumed knowledge and open his mind. He would remain unshackled to his upbringing, education and books and let his subjects share freely without interruption. Only then could he step back and draw parallels and conclusions.
Hope laid back against his plain cotton pillow and folded his hands across his chest. 'Alright, let's try this again…'
His eyes were closed and his vision went black. And a thought rose once more from the depths.
'I am a new soul.'
Hope's mind was completely absent from the presentation one of his colleagues was putting on during the beginning of the work day. The colleague had just returned from a four-month sabbatical in South America and was giving the research team an in-depth look at the data he had gathered. The man had a knack for graphic design and had put together an exceptional collection of photos and infographics. However, Hope's thoughts were sent adrift from the pie charts and instead were focused on his phone which had, minutes ago, lit up with a text message reading "From: Serah Farron." Hope knew better than to keep his phone on during presentations, but he had made an exception, having tracked down Serah's phone number earlier that morning through Lebreau from the NORA gang.
In his anticipation to reach out to her, Hope had texted her at a rather unreasonable hour —these past few days, he had been rising at 5am to take the train from his parents' house to the loft that his research team was renting. They shared the building with a magazine company that would often publish their work to a large following. The train ride was typically an hour and a half long. Subsequently, Hope was looking into apartments he could rent that would be close enough to the city that he would feasibly arrive to work, but far enough on the outskirts so that he may enjoy a preferably peaceful life.
Hope realized that his pre-dawn text to Serah might take time to receive a response; but in his anxiety to hear back from her, he had kept the phone with him all morning. At around 8 o'clock, it had buzzed in his pocket and Hope had to resist every urge to excuse himself to the bathroom to read it privately. Presently, his resilience was wearing thin.
The phone buzzed again. Hope briefly whipped it out from his pocket to glance at the main screen. This text was from a number he didn't have. Hope's heart nearly leapt into his throat. 'Could it be…?'
This time, Hope did excuse himself. He padded softly across the room, closed the conference room door behind him as quietly as possible, then tore through the halls as fast as he could to the men's restroom, flew into a stall, and accidentally slammed the door in the process, scaring a man standing at one of the urinals.
Hope opened the text message from Serah. It read:
"Hope! I'm soooo glad to hear from you! I can't believe you found the NORA gang, too. Snow and I were out there about a month ago, meeting them for the first time at their restaurant. (Yum!) You say you met with Sazh and Dajh, too?
To answer your question, yes! Vanille and Fang actually live in a town near Noel and Yeul. We saw them all a couple weeks ago. Light (she's been going by Claire, here in the new world) is usually in town but she had to take off for a project in Paris for a few weeks. I'll see if I can pass your info along before then!
I'll also give your number to Snow. He's actually been looking for you!
PS - Call me when you're off work. Let's make plans to meet this week!"
Hope's heart filled with a warmth he couldn't quite describe. Within a couple months of remembering life in the old world, he had scoured through articles and asked the people he was close to in the new world if they had seen anyone matching the description of his old friends. It was his parents, who had gone on a business vacation, that remembered meeting Sazh -who worked as a pilot- and told Hope where to find him. From Sazh, he learned about the NORA gang, who had a restaurant on the coast.
Now, it seemed that all of his old comrades were finally going to reunite. But the one he longed to see most -the woman with rose-colored hair, who had occupied his thoughts all too frequently since two months ago- was the most out of reach. Hope read over Serah's text again. She had said she and Snow met NORA for the first time only last month. And Vanille, Fang, Noel and Yeul only a couple weeks ago. Did that mean that everyone's soul had only just recently been "reawakened"? Or was it just them? He forgot to ask Serah if Lightning remembered anyone. Based on the context, it seemed like she did.
Hope then remembered: the message from the unknown number!
He went back to his inbox and opened it:
"HEY MAN! IT'S SN—"
"Aghhh!" Hope groaned glaring down at the bathroom tiles. He then looked back at the phone in his hand, and snapped himself out of the temporary disappointment.
"HEY MAN! IT'S SNOW! Been looking for you everywhere online and I saw some of those articles you wrote. I sent messages to the company that ran em and they must've thought I was some creepy stalker fanboy, because they wouldn't tell me where you lived! WTF, right?!"
Hope shook his head as he chuckled to himself. He felt errant tears pooling in his eyes and quickly wiped them with his sleeve. He truly missed each of his comrades. More so than he could express to anyone outside of the old world. Even his own parents could only hold suspicions of the feelings he harbored. When his ancient soul reached him in the new world, memories would return in shards and pictures. They lapped at the edges of his dreams, every night. These days, he could remember a few things with great clarity: his role as Director of the Academy, the day the Chaos erupted and his futile mission to destroy it, and his friends… Their brief reunion at the end of the world was only the smallest taste of how life could be as they set off into the unknown, their hope renewed after centuries of chaos and loneliness.
Snow, perhaps more than any of them, could have grown to be so different. He had lived through a thousand years, trying to ward off the Chaos after his fiancé had died and all of his friends were lost. However, in this new world, Hope knew the man had to be feeling some genuine happiness. After all, he was finally reunited with a very much alive Serah.
Hope's mind strayed back to Lightning. He wondered if he should take a train to Paris over the weekend. However, Paris was enormous; he would have too much trouble locating her with no leads. Not to mention Serah made it seem like she'd be difficult to reach while she was working on whatever project she had going. Hope sighed and resigned himself to sticking it out these next few weeks. He had waited this long, after all.
"Alright! You're back to normal, huh?!" Snow was beaming at him from the doorway of the small home he shared with Serah as Hope approached the dirt pathway with a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers in hand. A smile instantly emerged on Hope's face.
"I see you decided to keep the mullet!" he called out, taunting his old friend.
"Hey, Serah loves it! Right, babe?" Snow shouted over his shoulder into the house.
Hope's heart almost stopped as the slight, petite form of Serah walked up beside Snow, giggling.
"Yeah!" Serah peered up at Snow, reaching a bare hand to brush a piece of Snow's hair behind his ear. "Although I'm seeing a new trend in town these days… I thought it might look good on you!"
"Woah woah!" Snow turned to chastise her, "Now wait a minute, I'm not a Barbie doll. You can't just change my look on a whim."
The three laughed heartily. It was still so surreal to see the younger Farron alive after that tragic day in Academia. A memory flashed in the back of Hope's mind, reminding him of when he first met with Serah and Noel at the Yaschas Massif. He recalled grasping Serah's hands in his own, revealing a bit of the desperation he had at losing his friends, and perhaps hinting at the fondness he felt towards her sister. As the memory ended, Hope smiled knowing that he still might not be able to play it cool. When that first reunion occurred, it had been ten years since he had seen his friends. Following their stint in trying to save the timeline were centuries of isolation for the Director of the Academy. The intruding thought cut to the bone, and Hope shook his head, as if to physically dislodge it. 'We're here, now. I have to let go of that lost time.'
As Hope reached the front door, his two friends enveloped him in a hug good enough to heal years of emptiness. Upon his release, he held out the gifts he brought.
"Oh, they're beautiful, Hope! Thank you," Serah said while taking the large bouquet of white lilies into her arms. "Come on in and help me find a vase, okay?" The three entered the charming cottage together, and Hope glanced around at the furnishings. The kitchen and adjoining living room had classic French doors leading to the backyard, and large windows that were currently open, allowing a Spring breeze to play on the billowing white curtains. The home was well-furnished with pieces that reminded Hope of the beach. Wicker chairs with pastel cushions, large seashells adorning the empty spaces of bookshelves. There were also a few vases of flowers already set up on the dining table, which was a painted vintage white.
Seeing Hope's eyes on them, Serah commented, "Noel and Yeul live right next to a flower shop in their town. Yeul works there. She saved the leftovers and gave some to me when I visited last week!"
"Ah." Hope continued walking through, turning around as he admired the light atmosphere of the home. He saw Snow setting down the wine he brought on an island in the kitchen. "This is really nice, you two. How long have you lived here?"
Serah gave a coy smile but Snow spoke up right away, "Serah and I managed to find each other three years ago, even before our memories returned."
"That's lucky!" Hope did not withhold his surprise.
"Well, we were always meant to be together, right?" Snow winked. "Anyway, we found the house last year and have been living here ever since. Sis, too. She's been giving us rent for the guest bedroom… that's where you'll be staying tonight."
Hope's face reddened slightly at the prospect of staying in Light's room. He wondered what it would look like; if it would smell like her. Realizing he hadn't responded, Hope cleared his throat and tried to re-focus his thoughts.
"Er, so, did you guys all remember at the same time? You know, "reawaken"?" Hope had been genuinely curious about this. The subject was completely fascinating to his researcher's mind. He tried to learn as discreetly as possible if more people had memories of their past life. He had a working theory so far that people would "reawaken" in the new world at the age they had technically died in the old one. For instance, his own mother revealed that she had started having visions of the old world about thirteen years ago, when Hope was fourteen years old. Whereas, his father began remembering bits of his former life seven years ago.
Hope was also curious if souls began to be reawakened all across the timeline. It seemed, at least for Hope and his friends, that they were part of the same time because they had traveled together to the new world. Hope had the faintest memory -though it was the most recent of his former life- of journeying, side by side with his friends and finding their loved ones amidst the stream of souls. If Hope looked to the sky now, he wouldn't be able to see them. In this world, the hearts of mankind did not shine for others to see. But in the old world, he could see as they flowed radiantly together toward their new home.
"You know, that's a funny story," Serah said as she put a thumb to her chin. "I remember we all came out of our rooms for breakfast one morning and everyone was unusually silent. Normally we'd all have some story to tell… But everyone was so in their own head, you know?"
"There was such a weird vibe in the room," Snow spoke up, "Serah was totally silent while making breakfast. Then Sis came out and sat at the table without a word. I had to ask…"
"Did… anyone have some strange dreams last night?" Snow broke the silence at the dining room table.
"You too?" Serah peered up at him. Then she turned to her sister. "Claire?"
Claire Farron had been staring down at her untouched breakfast. After a moment she responded. "Yes."
"Claire became a bit reserved after that," Serah speculated, "She told us about how in the old world, she had cut part of herself away and she had only just been reunited with it. In the new world, all of my memories with her were joyful. But in the old world we had our share of problems. She and Snow used to butt heads all the time."
Hope nodded. "I remember."
"She's been trying to get used to it; trying to adapt. However, these days she's a little nervous that people will start to recognize her as the Savior."
"I see…" Hope pondered this a moment. He could remember a few times when he'd pass by staring onlookers, and he'd wondered if they knew him. Most of the time they kept walking. A few others had greeted him with warmth. At one point a young woman had offered to buy his coffee for him at his favorite cafe by work. None of the encounters were startling. But for Lightning, she might evoke a much stronger reaction as the Savior. After all she had been through, she deserved some peace.
There was suddenly a loud knock at the door.
"Anybody hoooooommmmeee?" Hope heard an unmistakeable voice. Vanille.
"Oh! It's the others!" Serah bolted up to get the door. Hope could hear it open and the flurry of greetings that began to fill the house. He walked towards the entryway as Snow brushed by to greet the others. Hope smiled as he watched Vanille, Fang, Noel and Yeul shake hands and give quick hugs and cheek-kisses to Serah and Snow as they filed into the house.
"Ohhh, Hope!" Vanille squealed, suddenly freezing in place. "Look at you, I can't believe it! You're bigger than me!" She then ran towards him with open arms. Hope had a memory flash of Lightning flicking Mog in the head to avoid giving him a hug and laughed. Hope wasn't so cold, of course. He wrapped his arms around Vanille's small frame as the others walked over to him.
"Well, well, look at handsome over here," Fang teased as Hope blushed in embarrassment.
After a long moment, Vanille released him and let the others greet him.
"Hope, this is Yeul," Noel introduced him to beautiful girl with cascading lavender-blue hair.
"It's a pleasure," Hope said, kissing her hand in more formal etiquette. She smiled and gave him a deep, knowing look.
"Thank you, Hope Estheim. I'm happy to meet you," she said in a soft but kind voice.
"Are Sazh and Dajh coming?" Vanille asked him.
"He sends his regrets. Sazh is working nonstop this week —he's still a pilot," Hope informed the group, "and Dajh is with his mom."
"Oh my! We'll have to meet her, too, once they're all available!"
The group all sat down at the dining table as Serah retrieved a large plate of fruit tarts from the fridge. They all settled in and chatted throughout the rest of the afternoon. Sharing memories they had of the old world, and discussing their lives in the new one.
That night, after Noel, Fang and Snow had grilled up a fantastic spread of meats, Serah and Yeul baked fresh bread, and Hope and Vanille made a few sides of vegetables, courtesy of the farm near the house, the group all sat on the back porch and in the yard, enjoying wine and conversation. Hope had laid back in the grass, wine glass in hand as he looked at the stars that were starting to appear, feeling more at peace than he could ever remember. Noel and Snow were sitting on either side of him, tossing a few challenges over Hope's head.
"Is the Patron getting used to this cushy life easily enough?"
"Yeahhh, I can't say it's as dramatic as the shift of going from Shadow Hunter to flower shop boy," Snow teased back.
"Hey! I'm not the one that works there. I'm still pretty strong, you know."
"Well, I still have the motorcycle."
Hope smiled and rolled his eyes as the two casually bickered. "Hey, pass the wine, will you?"
Instead of complying, Snow grinned at Hope and tried to start the taunts with him. "Since when did you get so lazy? Becoming Director has gone to his head."
"What?!"
Snow didn't relent and instead cleared his throat and started saying in a dainty voice, "'You there! Fetch my wine!' 'And you, finish this report immediately!' 'Someone find Aina and make her do my laundry!'"
Soon, each of the boys were wrestling on the lawn, lobbing insults and laughing until they couldn't breathe. Hope and Noel tag-teamed against Snow, until Noel said, "Fetch me some wine, Director Hope!" This promptly turned the two-on-one into a free-for-all. It was all in good fun. If Hope was being honest, he held the greatest respect for these men. The three of them had to take the lead when the old world had been flooded with Chaos. Their personal sacrifices had been costly. They gave the people hope when there was none to be had. In this moment, it felt good to be able to look back and laugh at a time that had, in fact, been very dark for each of them.
The girls watched the skirmish in amusement, which had interrupted Vanille's story about how she and Fang tracked down a sheep bandit in their village.
It wasn't five minutes later that the boys were left panting on the grass, too tired and tipsy to battle it out. Yeul stepped onto the lawn from the porch and stood above Noel, holding her hand out for him. He grasped it and let her pull him up.
"We should be on our way," she nodded, smiling, to the others. "Thank you very much for having us, today."
Noel, still out of breath, nodded. Huffing between each word he spoke, "Yeah… thanks, guys. Be seeing you, soon, I hope!"
Fang and Vanille got up from their seats at the porch. "We should head out, too. It's a long ride before we get home, and we've got an early start in the morning," Fang said while smiling out at them.
Hope pushed himself off the ground and lamented the fresh grass stains on the seat of his khaki pants. He brushed at them in vain and sighed, turning his attention back to his friends. "I'll make sure to visit your village, soon," he beamed at the two couples.
"Hell yeah, you better!" Fang raised her hand in farewell.
It was nearly midnight when Hope stumbled his way to the guest bedroom. He, Snow and Serah had shared a few more drinks and a game of cards before heading to bed. They would have stayed up all night if they could. But for once, they could afford to take their time and enjoy things day by day. Hope knew he would visit frequently, now that he knew where to find everybody.
Hope closed the bedroom door behind him and took in his surroundings. Light's room had a tall, wood-paneled ceiling, white, like the rest of the house. In one corner of the room was some home workout equipment. A yoga ball & mat, some weights, and -'Oh boy'- a punching bag. That one made Hope smile. Next, Hope saw an immaculately clean desk with a large flat-screen computer monitor sitting in the middle. There were pale pink post-its and a succulent in a terrarium next to it.
Hope moved toward the closet, next. It was a sizable walk-in, with clothes placed with care on each of the hangers. One shelf was neatly lined with designer handbags. 'Huh, she likes purses, now?' Hope thought with some amusement. He pulled a couple empty hangers from the closet and hung up his khaki pants and forest green polo.
He quickly showered off in the guest bathroom and made his way towards the bed. It was a very simple queen size with a down white comforter and soft white pillows. The sheets were squarely tucked in. He wondered if Serah washed it before he came over, or if he would be able to detect some trace of Light. He pulled back the covers and slipped under the sheets. Her bed was so soft and cool to the touch. He laid his head into the pillow and inhaled. It smelled pleasantly like a dryer sheet. 'Too bad,' Hope thought, still smiling to himself. With his eyes closed, and face buried in the pillow, his brain fired off a few memories:
Lightning, hugging him close when they reunited in Palumpolum, as they made their promise to protect each other.
The few times she let him fall asleep on her shoulder when they were l'Cie, after spending long days running across the plains of Pulse.
The times he held his own pillow close, when despair took its hold on him after his friends left him behind, one by one, and his father had died.
The moment when he lay sleeping in the time capsule, and Light's voice had reached him, telling him that he was on the right path.
The sureness and security he felt as he reassured her on the eve of world's end, able to be his one true self for the first time since they had been together during the final thirteen days.
Her voice, calling to him…
His cellphone on the bedside counter vibrated. Hope opened his eyes and lazily turned over in the bed to pluck his phone off the counter.
Unknown number.
He opened the message, and felt his heart pound in his ears. It read:
"Hope,
Serah passed along your number earlier this week. Sorry I didn't get to it until now. I'm usually unreachable during these projects.
I'm happy you found everyone. I'll be home in 2 weeks.
Light"
Hope was dumbstruck. He couldn't believe she had finally reached him. He typed furiously so he could send the response right away, but found himself having to go back and edit his spelling, as his buzzed mind was translating into his typing.
"Light,
I'm so happy to hear from you. I've missed you. Keep in touch when you can, I'd love to see you once you get home.
P.S. I'm sleeping over in your room right now. (Serah and Snow let me stay the night)
-Hope"
He accidentally hit 'Send' before he could debate whether or not she would find that last bit funny.
He almost dozed off before he got the response back:
"I'll reach out whenever I can. Sleep well, Hope.
-Light"
Hope smiled as one more memory played in his mind. When the battle was over, and Lightning had released him from Bhunivelze's hold, Hope had reached out and Light had grabbed his hand, holding on with all of her strength. He assured her, "We'll be together." He watched as a glimmer of hope had flashed in her eyes as he pulled them towards the light.
Lightning, known to this world as Claire Farron, sat aboard the express train as it made its way through the countryside. She looked out the window, her mind swirling with the events of the last few weeks. The message from Serah that Hope had found them, and their comrades had all reunited. She had seen the NORA gang with Snow and Serah before she left for Paris. She even had the opportunity to visit Noel and Yeul in their village. She had yet to meet her remaining comrades. And Hope… Her charge in her days as a l'Cie. A man that led the old world as she fought for it in Valhalla. And her companion as she became the "Savior" during the final thirteen days. Soon they were going to meet face to face. Not as l'Cie or world leaders or would-be deities, but as regular people.
She and Hope had sent brief messages to one another over the last two weeks leading up to her return. At one point, he told her that he was starting the process of moving into a new apartment.
"You'll think the train stop is pretty fitting!" the text had teased.
"Oh yeah? Where does it stop?" she responded.
"You'll see. We'll go there together when you get back home. I can meet you at your place."
She had agreed to this at the time. But since then, she realized that there were a few things she needed to know before she met Hope. A few days prior to her departure, she called Serah.
"Hey sis!" came the younger Farron's greeting. "I'm glad you were able to call!"
"Me too," Claire replied warmly.
"You're home in a few days, aren't you? Or did the shoot get extended?"
"No, I'll be home as planned. We are just about wrapped up. They're just going to take a few more stills and go through the footage to make sure they have everything they need."
"Good to hear! I'm excited to see it when it hits the stores!" Serah exclaimed. This part of Claire's job was of great interest to Serah. Claire thought maybe her sister might be better suited to the job than herself, but she had to admit that she had particularly enjoyed the shoot in Paris. Maybe this type of work was growing on her. "Anyways, everyone is really looking forward to seeing you, Claire."
"Yes, I am too… But Serah, I wanted to talk to you about something."
"Sure, sis. I'm all ears."
"I'm going to be seeing Hope for the first time since we were in the old world." Although her sister was silent on the other line, Claire could easily picture a smile creeping onto her lips. "Do you know how he's been doing? Has he talked to anyone about Bhunivelze?"
"Well, he seems to be doing fine… Actually, he seems really happy. But I don't think he's talked to anyone about Bhunivelze…"
She was afraid of that. Then again, Claire always knew that if the memories were there, she would have to be the one to help him through it. There was always the chance that he got past it on his own; but if he did need someone, she wanted to be there for him. "I see."
"I know he's really anxious to meet you again. He's been talking about all of us taking a camping trip together in a couple months."
Claire smiled. "That actually sounds really nice. One more thing, Serah…" She had debated on whether or not to ask, but she decided that she didn't want to be disarmed when she first saw him, "Do you know how old Hope is?"
"Oh! Right, the last time you saw him… Well, I don't know his exact age, but…"
"I know it! I asked him!" Snow's voice could be heard in the background.
Claire groaned. "Serah, did you put me on speaker?"
"Heyyyyy sissss," Snow's voice was audibly closer.
"C'mon Snow. Quit teasing her," Serah snapped.
"So tell me already, Snow," Claire grumbled into her phone.
She could hear her almost-brother-in-law chuckle. "He's twenty-seven. And he's sexy. Want me to ask if he's single?"
"Oh please, Snow. Don't bother him." Internally, Claire was happy to hear that Hope wouldn't be a man trapped in a boy's body. After all the years he went through, it was right this way. Bhunivelze had reverted him to his fourteen-year-old self, no doubt to manipulate her and to assume more control over his vessel.
The Farron sisters and Snow said quick farewells to one another and Claire breathed a sigh of relief. At least she knew ahead of time, so seeing him wouldn't come as a shock.
Claire sent Hope a late night text, the evening before she would take the train home.
"Hi Hope. Are you alright with meeting at your place instead of Snow and Serah's? I can help you move into your apartment."
He responded almost immediately. "You sure?"
"Yes. I think I'd prefer it to be just us this time." What she didn't write was that she wanted to make sure he was okay, after all he went through. The details surrounding his disappearance in the old world were shady at best, and his reappearance as Bhunivelze's pawn was all the more troubling. Whatever he went through, he had gone through it alone.
This response took a bit longer. She wondered if he was as nervous as she was about their meeting tomorrow. "Of course, Light. Looking forward to it. There's a cafe up the path and on your first left at the signs. I'll meet you there."
"You'll probably have to tell me that "fitting" train stop you mentioned."
"Oh, right! Your stop will be at the White Castle station. :)"
Claire smiled, recalling Hope's eidolon that had aided him in battle when he was a l'Cie: Alexander. The massive being could turn into a castle in its gestalt form. He was right, it was perfect for him. She simply wrote back, "I'll let you know when I'm close."
…
Claire saw that she was two stops away from her destination. She stood up and gripped the overhead railing, holding her tan suitcase in her opposite hand. She blew out a slow breath to calm her anxiety. She couldn't pin-point why meeting her former comrade was so nerve-wracking. In fact, last night she could hardly sleep. Instead, she tried to picture what Hope looked like when she had watched over him from Valhalla. A lot had stayed the same, but she remembered the sharper jawline, the broader shoulders. Although Snow had been obnoxious over the phone, his assessment of Hope's physical appearance wasn't exactly wrong, if memory served her correctly.
One more stop.
She heard a gasp behind her. "Lightning…" came a female voice.
Claire turned around and saw someone that she had never met. Then she realized with mild horror that she had responded to her name from the old world.
The girl introduced herself as Aoede. Claire recognized the name from a text Hope had sent. He had warned her that a reporter was desperately searching for her. He hadn't revealed where she could find her, but he did let her meet with the others. Hope insisted that she wasn't bad, and despite being a reporter, her interest was personal, and she had decided not to publicly release the information. Even so, Claire wasn't exactly interested in having people start praising her and asking questions about the past.
As expected, Aoede asked if she could interview her. Claire's eyes flicked out the window. The train was beginning to slow down for her stop. She told the reporter this would be where she got off, knowing just as well that if she was as desperate as Hope seemed to think, that wouldn't stop her.
The girl's eyes had a determination, "Then I'll come with you. I'll—" Aoede stopped mid-sentence and seemed to think things through. And to Claire's surprise, she changed her mind.
Aoede explained that she had somewhere important to get to. In the little time she had before the train pulled into the station, she thanked Claire for the role she had in the old world and told her that there were people out there trying to make things right, even when times got bad. The train was screeching to a stop, but Claire took a moment to acknowledge the effort Aoede seemed to be putting in to make the world a peaceful place.
"I understand. I leave it to you," Claire nodded to the reporter. She lifted her suitcase from the floor and walked to the opened train door. She might never grow accustomed to encounters like this, but Aoede gave her hope. In the past few months, Claire couldn't help the worry that crept through the back door of her mind… A worry that even though humanity had been granted a new life, they'd be fixated on their memories of the old world, their past mistakes, sorrows and absolution, as well as the 'Savior's' role in it. But seeing Aoede choosing to make progress in this world over learning more about the past meant that it was worth it. People would be able to move on to the things that mattered in this new life, even if they remembered things from the old life. There were new journeys ahead for her, too. Claire looked over to the station and saw the sign on the building that read 'Blanc Chateau.' 'White Castle.' She smiled and thought of the time Hope found her when she had cried out in the darkness. He had reached out and pulled her towards the light to the new world.
Looking toward the sky, hope shining in her eyes, she echoed his words, "Soon we'll be together." And she headed down the path.
Hope was leaning against the fence outside the cafe he told Light he'd meet her at. He was reading a book -it was more of a brochure, which detailed the destination he and his research team were going to eventually study- as he waited: a common practice he employed when he wanted to calm his nerves. He focused on the words and let his mind drift elsewhere.
Earlier in the day, Hope had a mover drop off his larger possessions -sofas, bookshelves and so forth- to his new apartment. He had just finished throwing his new, queen-sized mattress onto the floor of the sparse bedroom when Light had texted him, letting him know she'd be arriving in half an hour. Hope had thought of bringing her flowers, but he remembered that she would be coming straight from her work in Paris. Her luggage might be cumbersome by itself, without the added burden of a bouquet. They would just spend a relaxing day together, catching up, Hope decided. She probably needed to relax after traveling, anyway.
Hope was still engrossed in the book when he heard the crunching of gravel underfoot, not far from him. He tried his best to stay calm and still his hammering heart. He glanced up.
And there she was.
Rose pink hair fluttering across her face as she attempted to brush it away with her hand. She was effortlessly cool in her white top and sheer white overcoat, khaki leggings and edgy heels. And she was smiling, walking right towards him. Hope set his book onto the fence post and pushed off towards her. He remembered what Serah had said about her name in this world as he called out to her.
"Claire."
Her eyes twinkled with mirth. "Hope, come on," she said, just several feet away, now, "You know it's just 'Light' to you."
A chuckle escaped his lips as he closed the distance. The two stopped right in front of each other and Light had dropped her suitcase down next to her. After a moment, Hope stepped in and pulled her close, just short of crushing her into his embrace. He felt her arms encircle him, holding him dear, making him feel just as long-lost and cherished as she was to him. Her cheek rested against his collarbone.
"Light," he murmured into her hair. 'At last…' All his longing, and a thousand years of waiting for her had come to this day.
Lightning had assumed wrong. Neither her phone call to Serah nor her memories of him as she watched from Valhalla could have prepared her to see Hope in the flesh. He was beyond striking, with his soft white hair and almost equally pale skin, reminding her of the boy from her past. His face was a bit more slender, and was paired with an angular jaw. He was her Hope, and he was also completely new: tall and muscled, but with the same jade-green eyes. This new form terrified her in ways she couldn't quite describe… maybe because she was afraid of finding that he may be more unfamiliar than she remembered. They had spent centuries apart, after all. Excitement fluttered in her stomach at the prospect of getting to know him, and yet she was afraid to find anything dissimilar to her old Hope.
She decided to break the ice a bit and stepped out of the hug. She openly eyed him up and down, appraising him. "So. It's safe to say you've changed."
Hope's pride seemed to puff up at this. He responded glancing over her form, "And you look… incredible." He then quickly added, "You seem just the way I remember you."
"Hmm, maybe. What's changed is in…" she fleetingly touched her fingers to her heart, remembering the piece that had been added back. Lumina.
"Ah," Hope smiled, giving a knowing glance. "Well, in that regard, we might be on the same page. You helped my soul return to me, too, remember?"
She peered into those familiar green eyes, and tried to see the soul behind it. She wondered if he really was the same Hope she had watched grow up. She wondered if he still harbored the same feelings from all of those years ago. She had seen the admiration and affection he harbored when he was a fourteen year-old, and watched as, in his loyalty and love for her, he grieved over her absence across the timeline from Valhalla.
Did those feelings extend into the new world?
'Why would you want to know?' a mischievous voice asked from the back of her mind.
'Because. We promised we'd be together. But I wouldn't want to be holding him back if he has more important things to do in this life.' She thought again of Aoede who, even in her desperation to reach her, gave up the chance to interview her for something more important.
The voice stubbornly insisted. 'No, that's not it. Deny it all you want, but I know the truth. After all, who was it you searched for so desperately as soon as you regained your memories?'
Lightning couldn't quite think of how to respond to that. These days, she knew she couldn't lie to herself anymore. It was as if Lumina was still her own person, the way those feelings demanded her attention.
'Honestly,' the voice said. 'Do you really want to be alone for the rest of your life? You want to be with him, but you're scared to even tell yourself.'
Lightning relented. 'I know. I'm trying… But in the end, I can't force him to harbor feelings of the past, especially since they caused so much grief…' And with that, she closed off the internal dialogue.
She noticed Hope was picking up her suitcase. "It's nearly lunchtime," Hope said, pulling a pocket watch from his light gray pants. "Are you hungry, Light?"
"I'm starving," she said, recalling her light breakfast of tea and croissant at the train station as she waited for the express to arrive. She watched as he slid the modern-looking timepiece back into his pocket. "You don't see too many of those around."
Hope first wore an expression of confusion before it dawned on him. "Oh, the watch? Yeah, I kind of have a thing for 'em. Truthfully, it's almost like an obsession. In the old world, time was always hanging over our heads. We had too little as l'Cie, and then too much as we waited to be reunited with our loved ones."
Lightning watched as Hope's eyes became distant as he reminisced. There was a heaviness to his expression; a weariness in his eyes that made Lightning remember that she was looking at a man who had witnessed nearly a thousand years of time. She wondered how much of his journey in the old world still haunted him. Would some parts of it always remain "obsession"?
Hope seemed to snap out of his daze. He gestured toward the cafe and Lightning took point, with her -now older- companion following close behind. As she opened the door to the cafe, she felt Hope's hand touch the small of her back. Glancing over her shoulder she saw him smile shyly as a bell sounded overhead.
"Good morning!" a hostess at the front of the cafe said cheerfully. She finished wiping off a nearby table and approached her podium by the front door. "Hope, good to see you again. Will you two be having breakfast or lunch with us today?"
"Good morning, Lucia," Hope greeted her with familiarity, stepping up to her podium. "We'll be having lunch, right?" He peered at Lightning.
"Yeah, sounds good to me," she nodded affirmatively.
"Right this way," the hostess gathered two menus and a pitcher of ice water and led the two to their table. She seated them at a small, cozy booth with a well-crafted wooden table. A trendy gas lamp hung above their heads on a curling iron hook.
Lightning observed the room as Lucia filled their glasses with water. It was rustic looking, but charming. The cafe was only half-full, being that it was about an hour before lunchtime.
"Your server will be with you in a minute."
Lightning looked across the table and watched as Hope thanked the hostess. "So, you come here a lot, I take it?" she started casually.
Hope smiled, looking wistful. "Sort of. At least, I've been coming here every day for the last week to get breakfast before work. They've been good company; they usually don't see too many customers at 6am, other than passersby from the train station."
"Like me," Light smirked.
"Like you. Unless you become a regular, too."
Lightning quirked one side of her mouth into a smile. 'At least it seems like he wants me around,' she thought.
Just then, their waitress arrived. She named off the few specials they had, and the pair ordered their food. As Hope handed his menu to the waitress, Light watched him carefully: studying her charge-turned-man. He was completely clean-shaven, and well dressed, in an academic sort of way. He had a dark navy sweater, rolled at the elbows. Exposed behind the "V-neck" of the sweater was a white collared shirt and silver tie. Her eyes trailed down to his hands, no longer covered by gloves, and lingered on his long fingers. She then realized he had a yellow bandana tied around his left wrist. He had always worn one, for as long as she had known him. Something about that little bandana caused a surge of warmth to touch her heart.
Hope broke her train of thought by offering up another bit of small talk. "How was the ride over, by the way?" his chin rested in one hand. The other hand with the bandana laid still on the tabletop and Lightning had to force herself to break her concentration from it.
"It was nice. I really liked passing through the countryside." Then she remembered, "Guess who I met on the train?"
"Who?" Hope looked genuinely curious.
"That reporter you and the others had told me about."
Hope's eyes widened. He looked shocked. "Aoede? Really? She, uh, followed you onto the train?"
"Actually, no… I could be wrong, but I think it was a coincidence. She didn't even notice me until I was about to disembark. She wanted an interview, but ultimately, she didn't follow me when the train reached my stop."
"Wait. She finally found you but didn't interview you? I can't believe that. Out of everyone, she was most intent on hearing your side of the story."
Crossing her arms, Lightning stated matter-of-factly, "Well, she had something more important to do." Hope shook his head in disbelief.
After a prolonged, thoughtful silence, Hope caught her gaze and cocked his head. Light recognized his curious, conversational side bubbling to the surface as he spoke, "I've been meaning to ask you what you do these days, Light."
"Oh, well… I guess you can say I mainly work as a personal trainer." Hope seemed interested -or perhaps pleased- with this discovery.
"Mainly?" he pressed, simply.
"Yes. Um, it's a little embarrassing to admit, but, I've also been getting into some modeling." The heat of her cheeks was telltale: this wasn't a job she pursued. In fact, it took a bit of persuasion on her agent's part to even convince her that his interest was legitimate. He had to exhibit some good will to get her to warm up to the idea of being photographed occupationally. He gave her an advance payment on her first booking, and it had seemed that his confidence was well-placed. Even though Lightning had little training in the modeling world, producers were willing to play on her interest in fitness to get dynamic shots of her.
"Oh!" Hope's eyes widened, something dawning on him. "Is that why you were out of town so long? You were shooting something in Paris?"
"That's right. This was actually my first big shoot. It was a pretty big production. I even had to act a little bit." Images of producers strapping her into a harness and telling her to perform a series of acrobatic spins danced in her memory as she shared the details with Hope.
"I'm really happy for you, Light. It sounds like your work is pleasant for you." Across the table, she saw something akin to mischief flicker in Hope's eyes. "I had a feeling you got some joy out of trying on all of those outfits back at the Ark."
"Hope…" she warned, giving him a slight glare.
Daring to continue, Hope scratched the back of his head, feigning innocence. "I should have suspected that your penchant for dressing up would carry over into the new world."
Lightning's glare sat stone-cold. Hope raised both his hands and laughed, calling for a truce. She then changed the subject to his career in research, which apparently gave Hope many stories to divulge. A number of corporations would hire people from his team to research a targeted demographic. Thus, he would often travel the world on their dime to get the information they requested. The research would typically be gathered for the purpose of marketing products to different cultures. However, Hope's approach enabled his work to be accessed openly, which accumulated into something of a modern history book of the people of their time.
Feeling a swell of pride, Lightning thought about how often she caught Hope putting in extra effort to understand cultures of the past while deciphering their relics. Hope's interest in humanity had made him a great leader, as Light herself watched on from Valhalla.
"It sounds like you've found your place, too. The dream job," she told him. He responded with a childish smile that reminded Lightning of when he held the role of her young charge. Talented and passionate, yet humble, she had no doubt Hope could find success and happiness in this new world. On the surface, he seemed at peace. Though she reminded herself that they had only just reunited, and it was natural for conversation to be light. There were still so many questions she had for him; so many things she wanted to tell him…
Their waitress returned and carefully set their plates on the table, allowing a moment for her customers to eye their respective meals. "Anything else I can get for you two?" she asked.
"I'm all set," Lightning nodded, thanking the waitress.
"Likewise. This looks delicious as always. Thank you, Camille," Hope flashed a charming smile at the girl. Lightning noticed the brunette's cheeks turn pink as she murmured a "you're welcome" to Hope and left them alone once more. Lightning faced him, quirking an eyebrow.
"Well, well," she teased, "It looks like you have an admirer."
Hope's fork -carrying a piece of roasted chicken breast and fingerling potato- stopped midway to his mouth, as he let out a surprised laugh. "You mean Camille? How so?"
"Well, judging from the look on her face, she seemed quite pleased with your compliment."
"Oh," Hope bashfully rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, I guess I'd been attributing her behavior to her recognizing me as the Director from the old world."
Lightning felt herself smirking. "All the more reason, then."
Hope's eyes seemed to glitter at her challenge. "Now what exactly does that mean?"
"Oh, nothing. Director." Lightning gave him a playfully menacing look, conveying that she was fully prepared to get back at him for making fun of her about having so many outfits as the 'Savior.' "Though I couldn't help but notice that you had quite the fan club back in those days."
Hope hung his head, fully embarrassed. "Ughhh, don't remind me! I don't even understand how that happened!"
"You're just really nice to everybody," she reached across the table to poke his head.
Hope peered at her through his bangs. "True, but I wasn't exactly sociable. I always busied myself with research, and it was basically all I talked about. I can't understand why anyone would be attracted to that."
Lightning shrugged. "Some women really like that kind of man."
Hope laughed in a self-deprecating way. "A busy-body and a bookworm?"
"Mmm. More like intelligent and dedicated." 'And easy on the eyes.'
Sitting upright suddenly, Hope looked at her earnestly and Lightning briefly wondered if she had said that last bit out loud. "Wait, Light… You were able to see me back then? You know, from Valhalla? I mean, I had heard your voice in the time capsule… But I wasn't sure if that was, you know… real."
Oops, she thought. Perhaps she had given away too much. Admittedly, she had watched over Hope a great deal during her time in Valhalla. He came second only to Serah. Consequently, she had come across moments she was sure Hope would rather keep private. Moments of great pain, grief and vulnerability. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel self-conscious. But she didn't want to lie to him, either. Nodding slowly, she said, "Yes, I spoke to you as you slept in the capsule. And I did watch you from time to time. I wanted to make sure you all were safe… Not that that did anything in the end." She didn't mean for the conversation to take a sobering turn, but the thought inevitably made itself known.
The former Director shook his head and gave her a reassuring smile. "You couldn't have stopped what was coming. None of us could. And we're here now, right?"
"Yes. That we are." Deciding to drop the serious talk for now, she looked down at their meals and felt a resurgence of her appetite. "How about we eat before our food gets cold? You're going to let me try some of yours, right?"
"Help yourself!" Hope laughed. "You did say you were 'starving,' didn't you?"
"Yep."
"While we're on the topic, how does steak on the grill for dinner sound?"
Lightning's crystal blue eyes met Hope's jade greens. "You read my mind."