Harry Pothead and the Philosopher's Stoner

by WeirdCornChip

I created this concept with a friend of mine. This story contains drug use. If you do not want to read a story about weed than do not read this story. I do not own Harry Potter. I hope you enjoy! Please review and tell me what you think.

Prologue:

Young Harry Potter was not having a pleasant life. It was his eighth birthday today, but he had stopped wondering about presents a long time ago. The Dursleys were terrible people, he knew that, and he didn't particularly care that he was never shown affection. He did miss the very thought of parents, those now shadowy figures that would have tucked him in, made him breakfast, graced him with a form of physical contact that did not harm him. On this particular day, the loss seemed more significant somehow. It was July 31, 1988 and Harry Potter was lonely. He was about to discover his calling.

"Wake up boy!"

Harry's trail of thought spiraled off into nothingness as his uncle clobbered his hammy fist against the door of the cupboard. After a few seconds, the door was roughly wrenched open and Harry was grabbed by the neck of his wrinkled shirt and dragged into the excruciating brightness of the Dursley's kitchen. His stomach growled as he was pushed past his relatives enjoying a full English breakfast.

"Get to work freak!"

Harry was shoved through the back door into his Aunt's already pristine garden. He heard a click as it was locked behind him. Harry sighed: it wasn't like this was unusual. Something would be terribly wrong if his relatives had remembered his birthday. Reluctantly, but with a practiced hand, Harry Potter began his crusade against the nefarious invaders of his dear Aunt Petunia's garden.

A few hours in, sweat dripping from his brow, dirt smeared across his face and hands, the garden was nearly complete. Harry felt ready to lie down and become fertilizer for the flowers. His back creaking as he slowly slumped to the ground, Harry Potter was just closing his eyes when he saw a strange plant in the garden. It was a vibrant green: slender leaflets radiating out from the center in an example the beautiful symmetry provided by nature. "It looks a bit like a Japanese maple", Harry thought as he passed out next to it, not knowing how one minuscule plant could affect the fate of the wizarding world.