The Animorphs Get Facebook
"Hey, you got a friend request!" Marco said, poking at the screen.
"'Melissa Chapman wants to be your friend.'" I said. I took a peak at her Facebook profile, only to see about four dozen pictures of her stupid cat, Fluffer McKitty, and only one picture of Melissa wearing a hoodie. I turned to Marco, slightly disappointed, and together we said, "Deny!"
"What are you two doing now?" my cousin Rachel asked, looking the computer screen from over my shoulder. Cassie was with her, as usual; the two were inseparable. "Checking Melissa Chapman's Facebook Profile?"
"No!" I said, quickly. "She sent me a friend request."
"Oh, well." Rachel clicked accept. "There, you are now friends with Melissa Chapman."
"Oh, great…thanks, Rach." I mumbled. Marco gave me a look that said, don't worry dude, we'll delete her when Xena isn't looking.
"Move over." Rachel said, pushing me away from the computer. "I need to check something."
Rachel was hunched over the computer screen—I was sitting on the only chair in the room. She signed out of my Facebook and logged into her own. I caught Marco staring at a part of Rachel that he really shouldn't have.
"Well, look at that," Rachel said, grinning at me. "I have five new friend requests, fifteen notifications and one new message."
"I'm sure that I would have fifteen notifications if I were dressed like a whore." Marco said to me. Unfortunately for Marco, Rachel heard. She gave him a swift kick in the leg. "Hey, watch it Xena!"
"Sorry, I wasn't aiming for the leg." Rachel said. "Let's see, who wants to be my friend?" Rachel checked through the profiles of the five people who wanted to be her friend; all of them were guys from our high school. "Terry Beckham; grade nine…deny." Rachel said. "Jonathan Barlow; grade twelve…accept. Mark Barlow; also grade twelve…twins…" Rachel grinned at Cassie. "Definitely accept! Andre Phelps; Grade eleven…deny…and…definitely deny!"
"What's wrong with…Omar Umar?" I asked. But Rachel just gave me a really funny look.
"What are you guys doing?" Tobias said. He and Ax walked into the room in their human morphs. Things with the Yeerks had been really quiet lately, so we didn't see the need to call for a group meeting. Marco and I planned on playing Space Invaders, but the game wouldn't work for some reason. So, we spent an hour on Facebook.
"Xena made some new friends on Facebook." Marco explained. "She met twins, Tobias…twins."
"Facebook…I had a Facebook once." Tobias mumbled.
"Oh, do you want to check your profile?" Rachel asked.
"No. That's fine. It's been so long, I'm sure it's been deleted." Tobias blushed.
"Don't be ridiculous," Rachel replied. She typed in Tobias' name on the search engine.
"Let's see…no friend requests…no notifications or messages…ten friends, Tobias?" Rachel looked up at him, obviously awestruck. Marco nudged me and said he wasn't surprised. "Here. I'll add you."
"What number are you at now, Xena?" Marco asked. "Is it two or three hundred boys?"
Rachel decided to ignore Marco's comment. I guess she thought that he was having an off day. I agreed with her. Marco's jokes were especially annoying today.
"What is the allure of this internet website?" Ax said, watching Rachel check her notifications.
"It gives teenagers a chance to connect with friends; we can chat, send each other messages and quizzes…and meet new people." Cassie explained. "I think they're making a movie about how the website got started."
"Ha, as if anyone would actually want to watch a movie about some nerd in college." Marco said. "If a loser with an internet connection can have a movie, why can't I?"
"They already have Planet of the Apes for that, Marco." Rachel replied. "We don't need any more monkey flicks."
"I am very intrigued by this…Facebook." Ax said, walking over to where Rachel had been standing.
"I can set up an account if you'd like, Ax." Rachel offered. "Here, it's really simple."
"Being an Andalite, I'd hardly think otherwise." Ax said.
Within five minutes—Ax claimed to be able to do it in one— Rachel set up an account for Ax. She even included his personal information: his favourite music, his love for computers, and cinnamon buns, of course. But there was just one, small problem with his Facebook page.
"Hey, Big, Blonde and Busty…you put in Ax!" Marco shouted. "You were supposed to put Philip…you put Ax!"
"Don't get your panties up in a bunch!" Rachel snapped. "I'll fix it!"
"It's too late…Visser Three must have seen it by now!" Marco groaned.
"You think that a powerful Yeerk commander is going to have a Facebook account?" Tobias asked.
"Dude, he had an eBay account didn't he?" Marco reminded him. "Remember, when he found David with the blue box?"
Suddenly, we all started to get worried. It made sense. The Yeerks must have known about the nickname we had given Ax…we sure shouted it enough during battle. And there were a lot of known controllers on Facebook…
But what were the chances that Visser Three would have a Facebook profile?
"Victor Trent has sent you a friend request…" Marco said. "This is bad…really bad…Tom Berenson has sent you a friend request…oh man! This is not good…David…how the hell does David have a Facebook account?"
"Man…he's getting more friend requests…" Tobias said.
"The….oh wow, Wildcard wants to add you as a friend on Facebook."
"Look at all the friends I am getting on the Facebook." Ax smiled. "I am quite popular."
"That's it!" Rachel said. "We're switching Ax to twitter."
"No…don't do that!" I said. "Twitter is quite lame."
"How about MySpace?" Tobias suggested.
Everybody, even Ax, gave Tobias a look of the utmost contempt.
"What…I have a MySpace."