Though I have other fanfictions to write, I am procrastinating! (oh dear)
Oh, and Miss Livefastdienever on Final Prophecy asked for this, for the Fanfic Exchange.
So, this first installment of Bits and Pieces is dedicated to Livefastdienever. Because they told me to.
Oh, and if the piece 'sounds' childish, then I wrote it right. 'Cause, the first person view of a twelve year old (like myself, but I'm thirteen) isn't too sophisticated.
Bits and Pieces
A ton of, you guessed it, bits and pieces of Marauder Era yummy-ness. Kind of like crumbly cookies (really good, but messy).
I turn to look at my best friends – or enemies, if you look at it like that – and of course, they're just standing there on the platform, smiling at me like little angels.
They are little, but definitely not angels.
I'm not smiling. I have projectiles being aimed at my head. My head. I have a most gorgeous head, and I, James Potter, do not want to have it ruined by some second-year, red-haired harpy.
So I said that out loud.
"I'm a what?"
Oh, crap. She looks really mad. Worse than mad. I dunno the word for it, Remus would. Of course, Remus knows everything. And he's always right. He was most definitely right when he said I should give Lily's owl back.
How was I supposed to know it was a brand-new owl from her grandmum? It looks like just another scruffy owl.
"Potter! Give me back my owl!" Lily says this, and throws a few quills. One of them hits my eye. Really hard.
"That was my face, you moron!" I shout without thinking.
Lily looks really mad.
"Your face will look a lot worse if you don't give me back my owl. Right. Now." Her face is super close to mine, and she's whispering in that death whisper of hers. I really like that whisper. It means the joke is up, but usually she doesn't kill me when she uses it. For no reason. But she just doesn't. I dunno. Remus would know, he knows everything.
I kind of lean in even closer, and even I have no idea what I'm doing. It's a spur of the moment thingy, okay? Remus told me that. Sirius says it means you stick a horse with a sharp thing. That confused me.
Oh, yeah. My mind is wandering. Remus told me that one, too.
"I'll give it back to you if… If…" Bullocks. Thought Fairy strikes again. Peter says that when you forget something, a thought fairy stole it. Or something. I forget.
"If what?" Oh no, her jaw is all tight and stuff. She's probably barely keeping herself from kicking me in the man bits. Ooh! Idea.
"I'll give you back your bloody owl if you, uhm, give me kiss." That's probably the wrong thing to say. And a little clichéd. (Remus told me that word yesterday. Did I use it right?) I realize this a little late. Oh well. Remus is going to curse me and Sirius is going to beat me up. They both have little crushes on Evans. That's gross. Girls like Lily are gross. Peter doesn't care. He likes food, not girls.
Lily's face is really, really red. I don't think it matches her hair at all. Ew. When did I care whether stuff matches?
"I… wuh…. ngh…. NO!" She needs some deep breathes.
"Why not?" I pretend to look hurt. Not really. I just want to make her squirm. Sirius is gonna kill me, I know it.
"'Cause you stole my owl! Give it back!" Oh! She looks like she's gonna cry. I don't have her bloody owl with me. I tell her that.
"I know that!" She looks so mad.
If her owl isn't here, I can't give it to her right away. I tell her this, too.
"Just go get it! And I won't kiss you," she says, like to beg me or whatever.
I look at her funny. "I don't want a kiss from you, Evans, not anymore. Go ask Sirius or Remus, they'll love it." I look at them again. They don't look so smug anymore. Peter is tugging on Remus's sleeve, asking what's wrong.
"Just give it. I won't kiss them, either!"
"Maybe I don't want to get your owl yet," I say. I dunno why I keep prolonging it. It's just in my owl's cage, which is pretty big and nice for an owl cage. And it's not so far away.
"Why? I want my owl! It was from my grandmum!" I think Lily likes her grandmum a lot.
"I don't feel like it." I feel mean, but in a satisfying way. It's fun to watch her squirm.
Lily looks madder than ever. Her face is all red and glowy, and her hair is frizzing out of her ponytail all over the place. It makes her look evil. And like she's going to punch me.
"OW! Fuck, Evans!" I used a really bad word. Oh well. I'm in school, not my mum's kitchen. And that hurt!
"You're bleeding all over. Go away, and bring back my owl!" Lily runs away, and she still looks mad. Even I'd feel better after punching someone in the bloody nose. But Evans here, she has to look like she's gonna cry!
"What're you doing? Stop staring after Lily, we've gotta get you to the Hospital Wing." That's Sirius. He sounds mad, too. I hate having people mad at me.
I suppose I'll have to get over it.
And now I'm in the Hospital Wing. With a broken nose (that's fixed, but it still hurts)! I wonder why Lily punched me so hard. That's what Remus and Sirius are talking about.
"I think she is so in love with me, she couldn't bear to be forced to kiss me," says Sirius, and (of course) I laugh. Remus does too. He always has reasons. For everything. Even for why he sleeps on the right side of the bed. He's odd.
"If she was in love with you, she'd want to kiss you, you bloody idiot." Remus has perfectly cut, brownish hair. He's always touching it, even worse than me and my own hair. He so fascinated with himself. It's really weird.
Peter giggles. Yeah, he giggles. "I think Lily was embarrassed 'cause she wanted to kiss James, but didn't want him to know it!"
I have to laugh at this. But it hurts my nose. So I stop.
"You're crazy, Pete. Me? She hates me."
"Well, I think it'd be cool. Lily and James, sittin' in a tree!!"
"No way. James and Lily?" Ah, Remus. He was always against mixing girls and me. He says it's for the girl's protection. But I like the girls! Just not Evans.
"Remmy likes little Lily-poo, doesn't he?" coos Sirius. He's just teasing.
"Not terribly, you guys. Just, they don't really seem to match." Remus has such a serious expression on his face! It's priceless; Sirius is cracking up and I have a huge plaster thing soaked in Potion (I dunno why she didn't just fix it!) on my face and Peter is picking his nose and wiping it on Remus.
Remus swats at Peter and turns to me.
"Seriously, James, don't even try it. She'll be breaking your nose left and right for years." I wonder if he's right? Most people don't break my nose once, let alone twice, and never three times ('cept Sirius- he's different) because I always beat them up if they try.
But Evans is a girl! They're out of bounds. And girly.
Oops. Peter is trying to get my attention.
"James!"
"What?"
"What if Lily tries to break my nose?"
"Hit her back."
Peter looks surprised. "But she's a girl!"
Sirius decides the conversation needs his input. "You're nearly a girl, so I don't think it counts."
Pete looks hurt, and Remus slugs Sirius lightly. I feel awkward, just lying on a bed. I wish Madame Whats-Her-Face (she's new) would just let me go.
"Don't pick on him, you brute."
"Aw, Remmy's sticking up for his new girlfriend?" Sirius is really good at cooing thing. It's really annoying, too.
After a couple more minutes of this, I tell them to get lost and go give Evans back her owl. I think I fell asleep after that.
I woke up with a headache and something sitting on the end of my bed.
"Agh!!" I scream, sending the person flying. It was a person. A girly person. A girly person like Evans.
"I'm sorry!" she says. I feel a little bad. I stole her special owl, and now she's apologizing. It doesn't feel very nice to do that kind of thing. Actually, at the time, it did. But not now.
"Why?" I rub my nose. It feels better, even with a goopy plaster thing on it.
"I got my owl back, and I'm sorry I punched you."
"Yeah, y'should be. I could be on my deathbed, for all you know!" Lily grins, and it's a nice grin. I frown. It's not a nice frown.
"What's so funny?" I ask.
"You're very lively for being on your deathbed." She giggles. I frown again. This is time it's a really not nice frown.
"Yeah, well, what if your punch had sent shards of my nose into my brain? Huh?" Ew, gross. But that's all I could think of.
"It wouldn't make you too much more idiotic than you are now. Nothing noticeable, at least."
"Hey!" I growled, but she already standing up and walking away.
That wasn't very nice.
Oh, well. At least she didn't slug me in the nose again.