A Holiday in Heaven – Maybe Not

Bridget's Journal

Thai Prison/ 48 Hours and 10 minutes have spoken to legal counsel from British Embassy and facing possible 10 years incarceration.

Can't believe it, I really have screwed things up royally as Mark has dumped me and I will be unwed mother, just based on fact that I decided to leave pregnancy a secret after the row we had on our mini-break and the break-up that ensued soon after.

Possibilities of winning him back 0;

No barrister would be caught with a prisoner held on drug trafficking.

"Stupid silly Bridget." 2 Months pregnant and I'm faced with raising baby in jail.

Mark was not all that bad, was he? A little standoffish at first but very sweet most of the time, with the exception of not sticking up for me at legal supper, and unable to verbalize his feelings, and of course the embarrassment and family luncheon.

Nope I will grab hold of my feelings, exude inner resolve and move on. What is past is past.

I sat there with my pen poised to write Mum and Dad a letter, when my pen stopped, and I wondered off with inner dialogue.

Snap out of it Bridget, continue to write a bit and catch some sleep you have to survive and not one person will hear your cries. Without adequate medical care you and baby will have to survive somehow. I'm picturing brave new mother in foreign soil, surviving on little but the love for my child will carry me through.

11:00 PM 5 Days Incarcerated- Gaah! Horrible nightmare as I felt I have indeed lost him to horrible stick insect Rebecca. Had a horrible time reliving said nightmare where, Rebecca came in dressed as a bride and I was delivering child and when I reached for baby Rebecca took our baby away leaving me alone in dirty horrible jail as she pinched my baby and Mark.

Broke out in mad sweat, "Bridget it is ok!" New found friends are comforting me and all I needed to do is share my Wonder bra with them, who would have figured that. Of course as they began to share their lives I have suddenly felt stupid, as Mark did not beat me and make me do drugs, I am doomed.

Told them my predicament and they introduced me to large woman who is midwife but I'm a little put off as she is basically missing all her teeth and due to unsanitary conditions, basically smells, and her hands are the size of a large man, as well as she has one glass eye, inside I'm screaming "help!"

Inns of Court Mark's Journal

Reviewing Amnesty International's claim regarding unfair treatment of trade agreements with Great Britain. Have nearly completed numerous briefs and within two weeks Mr. Hernandez and I will hold informal meeting to work trade negotiations.

5:00 PM Unsettled is the best word to describe my thoughts, as I have remembered a time of leaving these offices headed to her flat, "Stop," I nearly shouted raging a bit inside at prospect that she would be sleeping with Cleaver after phone call. I must write more in my journal as I've been told by Giles that this is highly therapeutic "How could she?" " My heart plummeted to my stomach and I realized the acidity backwashing up to my chest as I pulled out my antacids. Damn the pills spilled all over the floor.

My door flung open and there appeared Rebecca rather ashen in appearance. "Rebecca what is wrong?"

"Bridget's in trouble and someone is here to see you."

My heart dropped and my stomach acid elevated further as I downed more antacids.

"Send them in." waving at her with urgency. Upon looking at them it was the Urban Dating War Command.

If Daniel has done anything to hurt her I will kill him. His life is worth nothing I thought.

Cannot believe it. What I was faced with was Shazza, Jude, Tom and Magda all gray and ashen in appearance and very frightened by manner of which they addressed me.

"Sharon did you not go with Bridget to Thailand?" \

"Yes, but she has been arrested and that is why I'm here…Mark it is trumped up charges that are all my fault," as she fell back in her chair weeping like I had never seen her do before. My head whirled about thinking of snake fertility bowls, magic mushrooms, hidden narcotics, and blast my pen just broke as I realized I had broken my pen in two when I thought of her spending the night with the Daniel.

Alas, I have made the possible contacts regardless of my feelings I must for the sake of our family connections get her released and home.

Dropping my pen I realized how my heart ached at that moment upon their departure. Something just seemed so wrong. It could be jealousy but I felt something else, but I could not place it. Damn, at the christening I should have insisted she stay and talk to me. But I was so proud and in that very moment created with my own securities produced strong prejudices towards the love of my life.

Must fly out in morning to do what I can. Odd at Magda's departure that she should give me some unusual looks. It was almost as if, as if, there was something further she wanted to share with me.

Turn About Thai Jail 2 weeks so far – (Bridget's View)

"Time up," yelled the guard and I looked back at him as he watched them take me away. If I didn't know I would be let go in a couple of days I would have sworn I was being led to the gallows.

I turned around and it was Mark. He was in barrister mode as he fired one question after another.

I reached across the table capturing his eyes as I tried to profess that I didn't spend a night with Daniel Cleaver, and then he said my sex life didn't concern him.

But then he paused further at the small protrusion of my belly. It was like a doe caught in headlights but I could not read him, and the all words from his mouth seemed to leave him.

"Mark…I can explain." The words ceased as anything else further got caught in my throat.

"How long Bridget?" It was a stern reply.

"Ten weeks…it is ten weeks," Mark was doing the mental math and slammed his briefcase close, as that was the time around their break-up.

"How could you not tell?" stuck a bit and unsure he continued in business manner.

He saw the guard coming and in what seemed a disconnected bit of a rush he said I would be released soon within the week. He was loss for words and as I left I felt a bit abandoned and upset. He doesn't love me anymore and what is worse he likely thinks this child is not his baby. My fellow inmates gathered around me as I related the story in my cell, but I still felt hopeless. I would gain my inner-poise and once I arrived back in London I would become a strong and self-reliant woman and mother. Still I had hoped he would have gathered me in his arms and told me it was all right and he wanted me back. Pushing a tear from my eyes and sat quietly at least hopeful I would be leaving soon.

(Mark's View)

"Taxi," he flagged one down.

"To the President Solitaire please," he stated.

I dialed madly for Sharon's number no answer. Then I dialed Jeremy and retrieved Magda's cell number.

"Magda, it is Mark," I said as sound caught in my throat.

"Mark," she sounded surprised.

"Why didn't you tell me, it is mine?" I said knowing perhaps Bridget would have spoken to her friends.

"Mark…it is true the child is yours, but she thought you didn't love her and after your disastrous ski weekend and Rebecca, she was trying to not bother you with her troubles."

There was a pause and her next words, "she thought she was not worthy of you and that you didn't want her." She continued and asked if I was still there as I fell silent.

"Rebecca she is not …I mean we are not nor were we ever together," suddenly I'm pleading my case to the dating war command.

"Mark doesn't tell me this. Tell Bridget and the two of you work it out after-all you are springing her from Thailand, aren't you?" She said in a correcting motherly way.

"I have to go…good luck," with that Magda hung up.

This was surreal. He couldn't board the plane but would make arrangements so they could talk civilly like adults upon her release. His gut swirled and he felt he was nearly on the verge of tears, whether it be with the anger inside or his concern for her and the baby.

The cab pulled up and I was escorted in to the hotel.

Here he was arriving in palatial elegance. "Sir how can I help you?" I was a little despondent, "the executive suite," they nodded and I made the arrangements necessary as well as advising them that my significant other would be joining me in a couple of days. Well at any point I considered her as such. This was probably underhanded at this stage of the game but I needed the time with her. I needed to iron out this situation.

Mobile rang. "Darcy here ...great Rebecca they will release her in 48 hours." I listened for a bit and then asked if she could re-schedule my appointments for a week as I was going to be detained. She understood but made no great big deal of my request at first, "Mark if it is any consolation I think it is a wonderful plan you and Bridget need the time." I was stunned as she revealed her concern and her feelings towards Bridget and it dawned on me where the misunderstanding occurred. "I will make any changes required but please call if you need the time extended."

"Thank you Rebecca," I hung up and then was directed upstairs. I had some work to do. I also had some shopping to do. .

Tomorrow I was going to try to push for an earlier release however the clock was ticking. I would first have to arrange this suite with a sundry of necessities and the courage to really speak to her, "darling what treats await you upon your release." I grabbed my wallet and I was off.

(PM AND AM NEXT MORNING-Mark)

After settling in and placing purchase of large teddy bear aside and a few dresses for her and a Cadbury Milk Tray I went to clean up.

Have attempted to settle in but can't because all I can think of his Bridget and our baby behind bars.

1:00 AM (Staring at Teddy) Angry as I am, at the thought regarding all these events that led up to this I am determined that tomorrow that I am going to do all I can to get her out sooner than later.

Two hours later I'm still on the phone pulling strings to have her released. Success, it so happened the ambassador owed me over unfortunate trade misunderstanding, and is pulling some strings, we have set her release for tomorrow.

I've attempted to rest but sleep is still not coming easily and I fear I won't rest until she is here with me and I can watch over her.

(Bridget's Day-

Early AM)

Can't believe how things have moved so fast. Ambassador has apologized for any inconvenience and is personally escorting me to the airport.

"Wait we are not going to the airport." I was stunned.

He just smiled and told me, "do not worry everything will be fine Ms. Jones."

We pulled up to a palatial palace and he held his hand out. He presented me to a doorman who grabbed my luggage and I thought and said, "wait I accept your apologies I think it best I just return to London." He nodded and before I knew it I was in the Presidential Solitaire, one of the most palatial and extravagant resorts in Thailand.

I went past reception and into a waiting elevator and everyone knew my name. They smiled and treated me as if I was some sort of dignitary.

"Executive Suite," was the response of the bellman and then the door opened to opulence and a smile.

Afforded the comforts were a milk tray and fine robes.

"Bridget," I froze as I knew that voice and turned around to see Mark staring a me in awkward silence and then, "we need to talk." I stopped frozen with that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to say. If I could become the size of a pea I would roll out unnoticed.

"Bridget," he came up waving his hand in my face and then gently escorted me to the waiting sofa. Perhaps it was my ashen experience as if I had seen the ghost of Christmas past. —

Abruptly I turned tail and got up from sofa to leave but he thrust himself against the door.

"Please don't go." He said with his body against the door and his arms folded.

"Why should I stay to protect your precious reputation? Why don't you go back to Rebecca…remember my sex life does not concern you anyway?" I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't.

"No that is not it, I was cold, that I will admit but you lied to me," he grabbed a hold of me and then he pulled me to him and kissed me not letting go.

"Let go!' I tried to pull away and did but he remained.

"Bridget, I want to talk despite circumstances and appearances I love you and it is not because you are pregnant." as he let me back to arms distance but still had his hands on my forearms.

I could not believe my ears, "but what about Rebecca?

He said, "What about Cleaver?"

And together we said, "I don't love him/her." We said it simultaneously.

"I guess we are part of a large misunderstanding," I pulled away pacing awkwardly in the suite.

"Darling I think we are and that is why we are here so we can spend the next two days in quiet solitude working out this terminable issue of not talking to one another."

He then grabbed my hand and my bag and we walked into the main salon and I sat as he took my bag to what appeared to be the bedroom.

I noticed the Teddy Bear and picked it up. It was soft and very large. I looked back to see him smiling the warmest of smiles and said, "what?"

"You are just glowing and I hope that I can make what is wrong with us right," he sat next to me and took my hand and held it for a bit and I knew he was working in his mind the courage to be honest.

"I love you…and I'm sorry I didn't say that enough before …when we were at your parents." He continued. " I didn't want to propose because our parents cornered us, but when I could make it special and unexpected and between just you and I." He then took my hand softly to his lips and kissed it and then his forehead rested there. Automatically my hand came to rest there a bit and I smoothed back his face, but alarm caught me and I said excuse me as I ran to the bathroom. Pregnancy is wonderful but it has its downside as well. He ran after me as I approached the toilet and as I did he knelt down with me holding my hair back and supporting me. I was alarmed at first until I saw there was care and concern as he did hold me and comforted me during this most disgusting time. Although I will admit his complexion was a little pale but he stuck there with me. He even furnished a flannel for my forehead.

An hour later, I startled with old memories that die-hard. I had the rushing thought of this baby being raised and him being thrust from my hand at an early age crying.

"Bridget," he startled a bit and I stood up from the bed and his arms, as if to create some distance, as I could not verbalize the fear of our argument regarding the raising of children.

"What has changed from an hour ago?" He said as he attempted to close the space between us.

"We are so apart on our parenting issues how will that gap ever lessen?" I was weeping at the thought of our fight that separated us.

He sighed and brushed his hair back from his forehead as he attempted to steady himself.

"Bridget, I apologize for the remark of yellow submarine and breast feeding till he was a teen," he said as I cut in.

"I know but I fear we are so far apart," he came close and softly placed his finger across my lips and bent in softly to bestow one kiss where his fingers touched. Then his lips began to catch the tears that poured out one by one.

"No more of this…we can make it," he said. "I want to redeem our time together and I want to take this time to work through your fears and the manner of which you feel threatened by my background," holding my hands in grasp of his and bringing them to his lips and slowly releasing them. "We are not as different as you might think and I love you."

He held me close as he wrapped his arms around me, and then looking at me eye to eye he spoke with such gentleness. "Bridget I have insecurities too! He seemed uneasy. "Regrettably I sometimes don't speak when I should speak out of shyness in social situations." He gulped a bit, "And I'm just as afraid of rejection as the next guy." "But more than that I have had restless nights because I allowed the best thing in my life to leave the night we fought." He stopped and tried to process my thoughts at that moment.
.

"I love you too and I always have," and with that I touched his cheek with the palm of my hand holding his intense stair. He then took my hand and we walked back to the couch where he had a tray of assorted juices and milk. He called to order some dry toast.

I guess I looked a little worn as he did and we left to stay on the sofa. All he wanted to do was to pull me into his embrace.

(AM next day-Mark)

I pulled myself from where we cuddled to think about all that had happened and what my next steps should be; after all I'm going to be a Father. I had cradled her in my arms when I took her back to the bedroom. There was something so sweet about cradling her and our baby in my arms.

I paused for a moment before leaving the room and shut the door very quietly and the thing is she slept with so much peace.

The anger at the realization that she was pregnant had subsided, but the concern as to why she was so afraid of me still surfaced. Introspectively, I wondered what I needed to change in order not to frighten her. Do I look at her in a way that demeans her? Of course the very words of our ill-fated mini-break did not help. And then the law-council dinner when faced with the crowing elite, I stood there frozen, when I should have told them off, and rescued her. But truly I thought with her spirit she could cut them off at the pass. Still I realized I'm a very insecure man.

I rested there with my knees pulled up on the sofa of the suite and holding my head a bit with the idea, that because of my insensitivity I nearly lost her forever. That regardless of anyone else, as her boyfriend, and some day her husband it is my responsibility to protect her at all cost. "Stupid Fool … what a stupid fool I had been not to protect her."

"Mark?" Came the faint voice as she came out.

"What are you doing here?" She looked a little shaken until I held out my hand to her.

"Just thinking of what I jerk I was to you," I said as she sat down.

"No it was me," I held out my hand to stop her for a moment.

"No me, I should have protected you at the Law Council Dinner and I should have not dismissed your concerns about the child, but more than that after the first 6 weeks of dating you I was prepared to ask you an important question." Looking up she had a hopeful gleam in her eye.

"Question?" She said.

"Yes, it was will you marry me…and it still is, only later that sooner which I should have asked you back then," I said with what I realized was water welling up in my eyes and the reality that my internal editor was not at work as well as I smiled, "you see I'm more like you than you expect."

"Yes…yes Mark I will marry you." She grabbed hold of me with glee and joy and hope.

I could not help but hold onto her and kiss her passionately. I reared back because what passion was stoking up in me I was not sure of her or the injury to the child.

"What?" She said alarmed.

"The baby," I said as if all of a sudden she became china to me.

"It is ok for now," I stirred with the hope of connecting yet again. I picked her up and carried her to consummate what I had been missing all along, the love of my soul mate. And the very one I would never do without. We had a Holiday in Heaven, even if tomorrow would be returning back to England.