Code Of Silence
I blinked back the tears that were forming in my eyes. He had promised me that things would get better, and for him to go and say that to me? I reached out to grab his arm. He turned before I could, almost like he anticipated my touch.
"Stop that. Darling, you look pathetic." He said to me. I fell to my knees. He was really going to walk away from me, and he didn't care how much I cried out after him. He'd made his point evidently clear.
"How can you walk away from me so easily? Like I never meant anything to you? Like I'm just some random girl that fell in love with you for nothing?" I sounded pathetic, even to myself. I saw him ball his caloused fingers into tight fists. Those hands had caressed my body so many times, and they never would again. "Please, Lysander, don't do this. I need you." I pleaded to him. He clenched his fists again and walked away from me. Out of the door, out of my life, and didn't even look over his shoulder.
2 Years Later
Over the past two years, I mended my broken heart. Lysander had promised me so much, and just like everyone else, he broke all of his promises. When I started my first day of my senior year at Sweet Amoris High School, I knew that the seat that Lysander would sit in would be empty again this year. News had spread that he'd run away, only I knew the truth; Lysander had killed himself, not literally, metaphorically. According to the government, Lysander had died in a car accident. But I knew he was still alive. He'd contacted me not too long after he left, claiming he'd be back with a better and less shitty explaination than the one he'd given me before leaving. I tossed the thought aside and focused on myself. The morning of my first day as a senior, I walked out of my house, feeling pretty excited for the new school year. I started walking down my road and towards the school. I had headphones and was blasting Asking Alexandria into my skull. When I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I jumped and turned around. Immedietly, I punched the person in the jaw. I covered my mouth with my hands when I saw who it was; Lysander.
"Lysander, what the fuck are you doing here?" I hissed at him. I was still upset with him, but the skip of my heartbeat might convince anyone else otherwise.
"I told you I'd be back, Remy. When did you learn to hit like that?" He asked me, he was holding his cheek, a dark blue bruise forming already.
"Go away, there's nothing I have to say to you." I told him and turned to start walking again. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.
"There's a hell of a lot more that should be said, Remy, and you know it." Lysander grinned a little. "I know you have school today, so I won't keep you. But I'll be waiting for you across the street and behind the gas station right after school." He walked away from me in the opposite. I didn't even think about twice about how he didn't look over his shoulder to see if I was watching him go or not. But I was.
The whole first day was like all the rest, paperwork and telling the class about yourself. It was pointless, most of us had been in the same classes as each other since freshman year so we knew each other already. By the end of the day, my stomach was turning, what the hell did Lysander have to say to me that already hadn't been said. He left, and didn't even bother telling me the whole reason why. I wanted to trust myself with him, but why bother? He'd hurt me once, he'd do it again. Regardless, I found myself walking across the street and behind the gas station as soon as the bell rang, allowing us to leave.
"I knew you'd meet me here." Lysander said to me, extending his arms like he expected me to just walk into them again and hold him tight. I flicked him off.
"Don't be a dick about this. What do you have to tell me?" I asked him.
"Frirst off, it's not polite to talk to someone like that. I feel you should apologize to me." He said to me, dropping his arms to his sides.
"Apolgize? Me? I didn't fucking leave and then waltz back into your life thinking you'd still be into me. No, I was here. You broke my heart, and you think I don't deserve to treat you like a bag of shit? Your an asshole." I screamed at him.
"I see your still scorned about this. Remy, I didn't just waltz back into your life for no reason. Your in danger, and I'm here telling you why."
"Your making that up, so I'll run away with you."
"Now, why would I do that? If I wanted you to run away with me, I wouldn't have left in the first place. Will you just let me explain?"
"I dunno, you going to lie to me again?"
"Dammit, Rem, your making this a lot harder than it needs to be." He grabbed my arm forcefully and dragged me down the sidewalk and into a car. He threw me into the passenger seat. I huffed as he got into the driver side. I didn't say anything as he started the engine and began driving. "I didn't leave because I hated you or didn't love you. I left because I did love you. I know something okay, about this gang, and they have a target on my head. So I left because I didn't want to endanger you, but only to find out from one of the members who not too long ago broke a few of my ribs, that they were going to kill you if they couldn't kill me. Almost like a code of silence."
"You want me to believe that."
"You don't have to, but I promise you, if you don't, you might as well put a bullet through your own skull."
"And what do you know exactly?"
"I know enough to dismantle the whole gang and it's affiliations. I'd rather not go into details."
"Why do you care if they kill me? It's been two years, they could have been killed me." Lysander pulled off the road and slammed on brakes.
"I care because I love you, Remy, how hard is that for you to understand?" He screamed at me. "I love you, okay, is that what you want to hear? What do you want me to do? I made a fucking dumb mistake, please, just let it go. I left but I'm here now, that's all that matters." Tears stung the back of my eyes. He leaned forward, I pushed his hands away weakly.
"No, please, I just.." The sobs passed my lips without my being able to stop them. I had been broken so long, that I didn't know how to confront what had broken me in the first place. I felt his arms wrap around me, I tensed up at his touch, but let him hold me.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He mumured to me over and over again. I could hear the regret and sorrow in his voice. I pulled away from him, and looked into his mismatched brown and green eyes. Slowly, he leaned forward, his lips less than inches from mine. I connected our mouths, it was cautious at first, but as the kiss went on, it became more desperate and passionate. I broke away from him, not wanting to just so easily forgive him. I really wanted to though, just let him hold me and never let go. Our eyes met, I knew what he wanted; me to trust him. I dropped my gaze and sat back in my seat. He sat back in his seat and pulled the car back onto the road.
"Where are you taking me?" I asked him. He took a slow deep breath.
"The other side of town to my brother's house." He told me flatly.
"He knows your still alive?"
"He helped me fake my death." We fell silent for a moment. I felt like I should say something, since I knew how hard it must have been for Lysander to ever show how he was feeling.
"Your still a really good kisser." I said looking at him. He glanced at me, a slight blush on his face. In that moment, I knew that Lysander wouldn't leave again, no matter what made him want to. He was mine, and that was all I ever really wanted.