Like the Sea.
he's not left me.
not really.
he hasn't.
hell be back.
he always comes back.
Always.
she thinks back to all those months ago on that spaceship.
with mickey and madame de Pompourdor.
where he broke her heart.
thinks about when he rode Arthur thought the mirror.
when he left her.
left her.
just like now.
'how long did you wait?'
'five and a half hours'
'right, good always wait five and a half hours'
And she has.
now repeating to herself her mantra.
hoarsely.
'five and a half hours five and a half hours'
over and over till her voice is completely gone and her lips move silently.
only mickey understands.
only mickey knows why she waits such a long time.
cause he's seen it before.
on that spaceship.
he saw her tears.
her frozen frame.
her Heartbreak.
its mickey she turns to when she goes to leave.
only mickey she sobs into.
only mickey who wipes away her tears.
only mickey who tell her hell be back.
back for Rose.
she's dreaming now.
she can tell cause she can see the Doctor.
her doctor.
The real doctor.
brown hair.
brown suit.
Brown Eyes.
She can hear his voice.
his heart-warming voice.
and he's calling her.
'Rose'
''Come back, Rose'
'Rose'
'Come Home'
she sit up gasping
she feels the tears streak across her face
hears them hitting the bed sheets
chokes on the sob.
she can still hear him
calling her
her
'Rose'
'Rose'
almost sing-songy'
like a lullaby.
only it will only send her to nightmares.
dreams that when she wakes,
he will disappear.
forever.
but she still cant accept it.
that he gone.
still hasn't said it.
still doesn't believe it.
cause he's the Doctor.
and that's good enough for her.
'Rose'
she remember the Dream
the beach
the breeze
the voice
across the water
'come on rose'
'Follow my voice'
And suddenly she knows.
she understands.
She's Going home.
she told her mum.
her new dad.
her mickey.
she already had a bag packed.
not a travel bag.
a hand bag.
she didn't need one.
she doesn't own anything.
except a 30p toothbrush.
and a pair of her mums old pjs.
oh and the 'Doomsday' clothes, as they call them.
the blue jumper.
the white top.
the black trousers.
kept in a air tight bag.
cause they still smelt of him.
of the TARDIS.
of home.
the breeze billows around her.
up her trousers.
around her hair.
around her wet eyes.
she's been here days.
waiting.
for him.
mickey, Pete and Jackie take turns watching her.
looking after her.
she hasn't eaten.
nor slept.
unless you count her slouched catnap.
the one she thinks no one noticed.
they did.
they notice.
everything.
she looking.
searching.
for the Doctor.
or the TARDIS.
she isn't fussy.
she's numb.
not just from the cold.
from waiting
from her emotions.
numb from taking it all in.
she looks out at the sea.
she thinks about the doctors hair.
the way it was so....so...erratic.
like the waves.
thinks about his moods.
how they were also so frantic.
like the wind.
thinks about his suit.
so constant so unchanging.
like the tide.
she thinks she likes it here.
on this little beach in Norway.
Darlig ulv stranden .
'Bad Wolf Bay' she whispers
mickey Pete and Jackie watch her.
silently, all thinking about him.
and her.
about weather hell take her home.
weather hell take them all home.
maybe even Pete.
she thinks the same.
staring at the sea again.
one of her favourite things about this beach.
mickey had come to see her
standing behind her.
'I like the sea'
'you never did before'
she's talking.
its barley more than a whisper.
but still talk.
'I never realised.....'
'what'
'how beautiful it is'
he can hear the heartbreak in her voice
'yeah, i used to tell you that'
'i know its just now....'
'now what?'
'it reminds me'
'of what'
she swallowed hard containing the choke
'of him'
he heard it break
she felt the tear streak down her cheek.
'why?'
she could barley hear his whisper
'its just so erratic, like his moods, like his hair, and yet so.....constant like his suit and his passion and his mouth.'
she laughs quietly.
'yeah your right....and its also so reliable'
she smiles
mickey always knows when to say the right things
she wandering now.
looking at rocks.
skimming stones.
nearer the sea.
nearer in a sense,
to him.
she back staring at the sea.
watching the waves rolling.
she listens to the constant noise.
remembers when he first change.
when she saved him.
when he didn't shut up.
'see I'm the doctor beyond that i just don't know. i literally do not know who i am. its all untested. am i funny? am i sarcastic? sexy? right old misery? life and soul? right handed? left handed? a gambler? a fighter? a coward? a traitor? a liar? a nervous wreck. i mean judging by the evidence, I've certainly got a gob!'
and he had that gob thanks to her
she saved him.
now its only fair.
he saves her.
out of the corner of her eye
something flickers
and then
she sees it
him
in a dream like state
its really him
him
only like a ghost
sonic screwdriver
sparkling brown eyes
erratic hair
cheeky face
constant suit
reliable trainers
then she notices
him
sad
sad eyes not sparkling
erratic hair slightly limp
cheeky face more heartbreaking
trainers filthy
and standing dishevelled in his dirty suit
she never did notice how filthy it was
'where are you?'
'in the TARDIS'
his voice
his real voice
from his mouth
not her head
she smiles on the inside
'there's one tiny little gap left and it takes a lota power to send this projection. I'm in orbit around a supernova.
burning up a sun just to say goodbye'
Goodbye
Good bye
as in
bye
as in im not going to see you again good bye
as in
farewell
'you look like a ghost'
'hold on'
there he is him the real him
solid
constant
she feels her feet pull her forward
her hand reaching out
'can i to...'
'im still just an image. no touch'
no touch
no smell
no him
'cant you come through properly?'
'the whole thing would fracture two universes would collapse.'
what do i care
i want you
i want my doctor
'so?'
he half smiles and she does to
'where are we where did the gap come out?'
'were in Norway.'
'Norway right'
she wondered if he really cared or just wanted to hear her voice
'about 50miles out of Burgan, its called Darlig Ulv Stranden.'
'Dalek?'
Dalek
she never wanted to here about them again
and if they ever crossed paths with Torchwood
shed
well
she exterminate them all.
'Darlig, its Norwegian for bad. this translates as Bad Wolf Bay.'
she's thought about telling him this since they arrived.
when he would smile.
maybe even chuckle
he did
just a short smile
that's all
a smile
'How long have you got?'
Bout two minutes'
why did he sound so calm
her voice sounded like it will break at any moment.
'i cant think of what to say!'
'tskh, you've still got mr. Mickey then.'
time to mention the Baby
'oh there's five of us now, mum dad mickey and the Baby.'
she thinks his face has just broken her heart again
again
so many times
its held together by duck tape
'You're Not?'
me
mine
baby
me
no
'No, its mum,three months gone more Tyler's On the way.'
'and what about you, what are you gonna do?'
'oh im back working in a shop'
'oh good for you'
shut up doctor
'shut up!, no there's still a Torchwood on this planet'
this planet
this other planet
without a doctor
Pete's world
not mine
never mine
take me home doctor.
please.
'its open for business, think id no a thing or two bout aliens'
her voice broke
Aliens
him
an alien
Time Lord
last of
alone
without her
Bad Wolf finally ends
'Rose Tyler Defender of the Earth'
i like that
but its not my job
its YOURS
she thinks back to his first encounter with aliens in that body
where she tried to be him
it hadn't worked then
why now
his voice rung in her ears as an echo
'and when you go to the stars and you speak of this planet when you speak of it people and ritches you tell them this
IT IS DEFENDED'
by the doctor she added
'you're Dead'
she feels her eyes widen in shock
'officially, back home,'
Home
her world
the one she lost
Home
'so may people died that day'
thousand i bet
'and you've gone missing your names on the list of the Dead'
Dead
me
never to go back
dead
her thoughts reel through people she kno-knew
Kiesha
Jimmy stone
Luke Cluet
Sharren
Suzzet the laundrette
Elton pope
the L.I.N.D.A team
Jack
her eyes well up
so many people
thousands
'and here you are living a life day after day; the one adventure i can never have'
cause its not an adventure
no excitement
danger
no mystery
no magic
no you
'Am i ever gonna see you again?'
her voice cracks
great lines splitting down the middle
she gonna have to say it
to tell him
the truth
truth
problem is the truth hurts
'You cant.'
'so what you gonna do?'
'I've got the TARDIS, same old life last of the Time Lords.'
and now she can see it
the emotion he hid from her
all of them
'on your own?'
she sees the slight movement of the head
the eyes
the gulp as he tries not to cry
and she knows she has to say it
before its too late
the voice in her head' two minutes'
now
'i lo...'
no i cant
another voice
'will i ever see you again?'
'you cant'
and she knows its now or never
ever
'i love you'
there
her voice splits
ripped like an earthquake
and her throat cant hold back the tears any more
'quite right too'
quite right
is that it
'and i suppose if its my last chance to say it'
say what?
what doctor?
what?
'Rose Tyler....'
he's gone
really has gone
'Rose Tyler...'
and gone
left
forever
and she's still here
stuck
lost
pulled apart
ripped at the seams
'Rose Tyler....'
Gone
Disappeared
Other side of the universe
even if she travelled that far she wouldn't be close
gone
and then it hits
the tears flood
she sobs noisily
she only wants her mum
mum who always wanted her safe
and now she is
but she doesn't want to be
she wants him
Rose Tyler
and now he's gone