I've known about you for a while now

When he leaves me he wears a smile now

Now as soon as he's away from me

In your arms is where he wants to be

I know where he is every time he says that he has to go back to the office or out with the guys. I'm not stupid. Nobody is that eager to get back to work. Hell, nobody's even that eager to see their friends. No, I can always tell when he's going to see you because there's a certain look he gets. It's the same look he always gets around you. He had that expression on his face the entire time you guys were together, so I know how to spot it.

But you're the one he rushes home to

You're the one he gave his name to

I'll never see his face in the early morning light

You have his mornings; his daytimes and sometimes I have his nights

I know that you know. How can you not know? We stopped being discreet a long time ago. But sometimes I want to laugh at the look I see in your eyes when we run into each other. You don't seem to realize that you've got the better end of this deal. You're his wife. You're the one he comes home to at the end of the day. You're the one that gets to wake up next to him every morning. You get to have him every single day; I get to have him when he has a few hours to spare.

But does he love you like he loves me

Does he think of you when he's holding me?

And does he whisper all his fantasies

Does he love you like he's been loving me

Every night that he comes home smelling like you, I want to ask him if he loves you but I can't. I'm not sure if I want to know the answer. But I can't help but wonder when he's kissing me if he's thinking about you; when he's whispering sweet nothings in my ear, has he whispered those same things to you?

But when he's with me, he says he needs me

And that he wants me; that he believes in me

I'm not a weak person. You know I'm not a weak person. Hell, you use to tell me that I was one of the strongest people you knew. Except when it comes to him; when it comes to him, I'm weak. I know what I'm doing is wrong. I know that I'm hurting a lot of people, mostly you. But he says he needs me.

And when I'm in his arms, he swears there's no one else

Is he deceiving me? Or am I deceiving myself?

He keeps telling me that there's nothing going on between the two of you, that you're just friends. He swears to me that I'm the only one. Even though I know he's lying, there's part of me that wants to believe him.

But does he love you like he loves me

Does he think of you when he's holding me?

And does he whisper all his fantasies

Does he love you like he's been loving me

I want to ask him when's he's going to leave you but I can't do that, because I already know the answer, it's just not one that I want to admit to myself. When he kisses me, I can't help but wonder if he compares me to you. Does he whisper that he loves you into your hair the way he does with me? Is anything we have together special?

Oh shouldn't I lose my temper?

When I see you at Karen's I'm shocked at calm I am. Shouldn't I be angrier? Shouldn't I yell and scream and call you a whore?

And shouldn't I be ashamed?

I know that if I had any class I wouldn't even step foot into Karen's again, but I guess we've already established that I have no class because if I did, I wouldn't be sleeping with your husband. I hate that something I'm doing is hurting you but I don't regret being with him. I could never regret being with him.

Cause I have everything to lose?

I won't say anything to him or to you. I'll turn a blind eye and pretend that I don't know what's going on between my husband and my best friend because I can't walk away from him. I think that may be the saddest part of this whole situation. You're the only person who understands why I can't leave him. I love him.

And I have nothing to gain

I know that I'm heading down a dead end street. I know this is going nowhere and that he's never going to leave you. But it doesn't matter. We both know I'll stay; that I'll ignore the urge to throw up every time I see you two together and I'll hide my photo albums that contain photos of us in the back of my closet so I don't have to be reminded that I'm betraying my best friend. Hell, in some really warped way, I think you're the only person who really understands why I can't end it. It's the same reason you can't end it. I love him.