49/100: Truth. Sephiroth/Genesis.
Yum, angsty drabbles. Gen's PoV.
Disclaimer - Characters are not mine.
Truth
Utter To The Moon
To be like you.
Maybe that was my dream all along.
I've spent years contemplating over the past, but it is only now that things have started making sense to me.
After all those silent days, I don't know what still hurts me more: the fact that I failed to live that dream, or that you never once felt the same for me.
Though, looking back at the series of mistakes that I am ashamed to call my life, and the short moment of bliss we shared, I see that you became exactly that which I struggled to save myself from.
You dove straight into the madness that I fell into, grasped tightly by the degradation and had to claw my way back up until my fingers were numb and bleeding. You dove straight in and you have yet to show any regret.
Was I your affliction?
You made the fall from grace look so beautiful to the monster I was then.
Would you have ever encountered such a dark abyss if I hadn't have been there that time when you were in Nibelheim? Would you still be alive today?
No.
I've come to realise that I only finished that which Jenova started the second you went back to your birthplace. She is the real monster here - the only monster – and I ache inside whenever I recall your exact words. You declined my plea with the words "you will rot," only to follow Jenova's every beck and call like a dog on leash.
You turned me, the one you said countless times you loved. You turned me down only to become the pet of a creature that craves destruction.
I finished what Jenova started… did she use me so she could dig her claws into your very soul?
…That night, did I call myself a monster to liken myself to that which I saw you becoming? Did I do it to make you hate or love me? Did it make you think that I wanted us to still be together?
I must ask, my love, for this question has been consuming me since Zack freed me from my misery: did you accept that fall from grace because you wanted to join me? Or is that just a ridiculous notion that best be laid to rest, to wither like the apple that I offered to you? To rot like the fate you tried to press upon me?
I still offer that apple, my love. To you - only for you.