Disclaimer: I love making Snape angry. This is from my Myzz Beatlette account.

Inspired By The Marauders

Severus Snape was rummaging through his storage closet. Ha had lost his pack of imported African cigarettes and absolutely needed to find them. They were what kept him from killing the Gryffindors. He lifted up his oversized bottle of hair grease formula and there they were, right under it. He picked up the box and pulled out one of the cigarettes. He popped it into his mouth.

It felt so good. It was like growing wings and flying through the Yukon. It felt so fresh, so happy, so......African. He groaned as the cigarette lost it's great flavor.

Suddenly he noticed an envelope sticking out of one of his spoiled shoes. He grabbed the letter and licked off the toe fungus that had been growing on it.

It was the letter that he had confiscated from Neville Longbottom during class. But Snape didn't remember this, he had been extremely high and busy yelling goo goo g'joob at the time.

He opened the letter and read:

Mr. Ronald Weasley would like to say that Professor Snape is a slimy filthy git with an over sized nose.

Mr. Neville Longbottom would like to add that Professor Snape needs a life, one with friends that do not grow in shoes.

Ms. Hermione Granger wonders how a stupid, brainless, idiotic baboon like him ever succeeded in becoming a professor.

Mr. Harry Potter advises SNIVELLUS to wash his hair and disappear so that the earth can become a cleaner and more sanitary place to live in.

Messrs. Fred and George Weasley agree with Mr. Harry Potter that the world would be better off without him. Snape sucks!

Mrs. Ginny Weasley must add that professor Snape has a horrible anger problem and very much need to control it.

Mr. Seamus Finnigan wonders why Professor Snape doesn't just elope with Draco Malfoy if he likes him so much.

Mr. Dean Thomas wishes that he could see Professor Snape dancing around in a frilly pink tutu, holding a teddy bear.

Inspired by the Marauders

Snape was shocked! He loved his hair, it was so perfect. Screw that idiot Potter! He started screaming and ran all the way down to the Gryffindor Common room. The authors of the letter were all together, obviously writing another.

"How dare you, you stupid annoying butterballs!" he yelled.

The students stopped their writing. They looked over to Snape and started laughing like a bunch of constipated hyenas. Snape got mad and started to do old man aerobics.

"Work it baby, yeah, yeah, work it, uh hun!"

Suddenly he started to twitch. He fell to the floor and started to moan in an ET kind of way. Neville threw a shoe at him an he died.

"Yeah! Snape is dead!" Harry yelled.

Disclaimer: This story wasn't originally a humor story and I tried to make it one so it might not be as funny as my other stories.