GRENADES ARE FOR THROWING. NOT FOR EATING.
Part 2: A Month Can Be A Decade Spent Alone
Disclaimer: Pokémon is obviously not ours, it's property of Gamefreak and Nintendo - if it were ours (Darth David & Mooman) then we'd be able to fork out for a nice mental institution in the country somewhere. Somewhere nice, you know, somewhere in Cornwall or Auldhouse or...what? It's in the flipping AA road map! Yes, it exists!
Author Note: Due to excessive use of the following, Darth David and the Mooman have trademarked the tumbleweed 'joke'.
"Ahem. WAITRESS!"
The waiter appeared seconds later.
"Yes, can Ah take ya'r oada?"
"Anyway, this plan:
The Plan
by Skominic and Dinner1. Do the plan
2. Get a house, food, money and a better plan (that's the easy part)
3. Capture a Pokémon
4. Get a Pokéball
5. Find a Pokémon
6. Do campaign thing
7. If time, mend rift in ozone layer with some sticky tape
8. Re-join Team Rocket
9. Meet Elvis
10. Read a good book (Dinner comment: dictionary?)
11. Think of an entry for number twelve of the plan
12. Work in Progress"
"So its decided then?" asked Skominic uncertainly
"YES! I mean, yes, we know the plan"
There's a long pause, and you guessed it, here comes Mr Tumbleweed. The waiter just stands there perplexed waving his hands around in a typical sophisticated waiter-esque expression of frustration.
"We gonna do it then?"
"Oh yeah. Hadn't thought of that!"
The waiter repeated his earlier query in a slightly more indignant fashion than before.
"Can Ah take y'ar oada, PLEASE?"
Dinner turned round to meet his gaze.
"Oh yes. A coffee for me thanks and Skominic will have..."
There's a long pause, and the by-now-quite-exhausted tumbleweed strolls across the screen on a gust of wind
".....No, on second thoughts we're full up now. Give my regards to the chef"
The pair left their table from the only cafe in Pallet (Pallet, by the way consists of two houses, a tree-house of uncertain stability Prof. Oak uses for Pokémon research, a few homeless people wandering around aimlessly and a fence. This fence is a few metres from the pride of Pallet town, the pool of death. The pool of death is, was, and ever will be a puddle of mud, one meter in diameter. At one hour intervals the town guide conducts expensive tours round this one meter diameter puddle which has been the towns star tourist attraction after the pool of life (i.e., puddle of water) dried up unexpectedly one July morn. It is also the town's only source of income. Next year however, Mrs Ketchum will introduce her initiative: The Pokémon show. Already lined up for this is the 7 headed, tripedal Mew (which has only one head a rarity in this species, an extra leg, and the body of a Rattata) Silph's exhibition of Master Ball technology (also doubles as the lettuce stand) and the eagerly awaited box of mystery (which is so mysterious, so very secret that no-one is allowed to open it, not even to put the mystery object in) Okay sorry about that we'll get on with it now, I'm sure you're eager to find out what happens next) and suddenly Skominic's eyes lit up like a Jigglypuff on fire.
"A puddle of mud! FanTASTIC!"
Skominic launched his flailing limbs in the general direction of the town's most treasured artefact.
An old mans head Pokés into view
"splash" he said, providing the super expensive zappy happy snazzy sound effect.
"Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala, I'm in a puddle of mud!" The town's entire population (one dog, two puppies, the homeless people, the old man from the last part and a rock that looks slightly human like) surrounded the strange creature in the mud.
"It's, it's...a...."
"It's a Skominic" Dinner provided
"And it's in the Pool Of Death! He's going to evaporate into a rabbit! Quick, avert your eyes before you turn purple!"
Everyone, everyone except Dinner, turned and covered their heads with their arms. Dinner looked something like....I can't remember....something confused at the townsfolk's reaction to Skominic, who, now very muddy began reciting the songs from 'Oliver!'. GUESS WHAT, THATS RIGHT! A LONG PAUSE! A strangely familiar tumbleweed rolls across the ground into the pool and evaporates into a rabbit. Another long pause later, a rabbit rolls across the ground, as rabbits do when they think they're tumbleweeds, and evaporates into tumbleweed.
The townsfolk carefully and slowly lowered their arms to view the horrid fate that was bestowed upon the creature in the mud. Realising he was not, in fact, a rabbit their expressions metamorphisised from terror incarnate to a bit miffed.
"HE'S DESTROYED THE POOL OF DEATH! THAT WAS OUR ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME! QUICK TOWNSPEOPLE, FORM AN ANGRY MOB!" From out of nowhere thousands of people appeared.
"Boy oh boy (sorry that was the moomans idea)" said the token old man "this is the opportunity I've been waiting for!" he then whipped out his pocket stall "Roll up, roll up, get your pointed sticks here! A large group formed around him in hope to obtain said pointed sticks.
Taking advantage of this timely/convenient distraction provided by their pal the old man, Dinner and Skominic legged it.
END OF PART 2, ABOUT TIME...
Will Din- oh forget it. The next part is the best one so far, I promise you. Dinner and Skominic attempt to capture a Pokémon, and in so doing revolutionise the art of pants fanfics and render the pokéball obsolete. Also I can guarantee many a tumbleweed sighting. The Mooman is levelling a....video I think....at my head threatening to kill me unless I say "Till next time, goodbye". There. I said it. HAPPY? NO? YOU WANT ME TO DO A LITTLE DANCE MAYBE? OH YOU DO. RIGHT.
Click here to send feedback