Words can not describe how much I loved the First Burn from the April Hamildrop. I mean just... wow. So, me being me, I decided to write a fic about it! Please enjoy!
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She heard him enter the room. She didn't turn around to face him, just stood staring at the fireplace. She couldn't look at him right now; too many different emotions were going through her head. Anger, resentment, embarrassment, and disappointment to name a few. But most of all, pain. As much as she hated to admit it, his actions had hurt her more than anything.
"Angelica," she heard him try. "Angie, please, just... just let me explain."
Angelica scoffed. "Explain?" She finally turned around to face him. If possible, he looked even worse than she did. "What is there to explain, Alexander? You cheated on me." She clenched her fists at her sides. "You brought that... that girl into our bed and, even worse, wrote a damn pamphlet about it. There is nothing you can say to justify this."
"Angie, I thought you would understand!" implored Alexander. "Jefferson, Madison, Burr- they accused be of embezzlement! They were going to run my name through the mud! I had to do something!"
She stared at him in disbelief for a moment more before shaking her head. He didn't get it. He was so blinded by his legacy, so damn paranoid about his enemies working against him. It blinded him to what was really important. Angelica picked up the letters she had been rereading. A bitter tune rang in her head and she couldn't stop herself from singing along.
I saved every letter you wrote me...
From the moment I saw you,
I knew you were mine
You said you were mine
I thought you were mine
"I am yours, Angelica!" insisted Alexander, moving towards her. "I love you! I-!" She simply held up a hand to stop him in his tracks.
Don't!
Take another step in my direction,
I can't be trusted around you
"Angie, please-!"
Don't!
Think you can talk your way into my arms,
Into my arms
Angelica walked towards the still-burning fireplace, the letters he sent to her in the early stages of him courting her clutched in her hand. Looking directly at him, she simply dropped one of them - the first one he wrote her - into the fire. She gained a little satisfaction in witnessing his deflated look as he watched his precious words of false promises and lies. Perhaps it was a bit cruel, but that was the farthest from her mind at the moment.
I'm burning the letters you wrote me
You can stand over there if you want,
I don't know who you are
I have so much to learn
I'm re-reading your letters and watching them burn...
She suddenly caught sight of the dreaded Reynolds Pamphlet out of the corner of her eye and her heart clenched painfully. How could he? How could he? She had given him everything; she had turned down dozens of wealthy suitors that were practically banging on the Schuyler door for her hand, had waited for him during the war, had bore his children, had supported him through his entire career. Not once had she ever complained about him scarcely being home or raising their children on her own.
And the one time, the one time, she had asked him to take a break, he went and defiled their marriage in such an unforgivable way. And worse, with a twenty-three year old, practically a girl.
Angelica had once been one of the most respected wives among her generation (right after Theodosia Burr). Now, she was merely the scorned woman who couldn't ever hope to rein in her husband. Now, she was no one.
You published the letters she wrote you,
You told the whole world how you brought this girl into our bed
In clearing you name,
You have ruined our lives!
Alexander was completely and utterly rash and arrogant. If he even thought someone was whispering against him, he had to do something about it. It was utterly ridiculous in every sense of the word.
Heaven forbid someone whisper,
"He's part of some scheme"
Your enemies whisper,
So you have to scream!
I know about whispers...
Angelica leaned in close to him. "I see how you look at my sister." Alexander and Eliza were close, always had been. In fact, it was Eliza who had introduced the two. She wasn't stupid, she had seen the gazes the two had shared, the lingering hugs. She never said anything because a) she trusted her sister more than anyone and b) she had trusted Alexander too. What a mistake that turned out to be.
Her husband was also quite the charmer, having managed to win the hearts of the two eldest Schuyler sisters. Of course, it couldn't just stop at them. He had to charm every damn woman in Manhattan, didn't he? Including - she grimaced - Maria Reynolds.
He had the gall to look offended. "I never-!"
Don't!
I'm not naive,
I have seen women around you
Don't!
Think I don't see how they fall for your charms,
All your charms!
Angelica had once promised him that she would always stay by his side. That she wanted to be in the story that would inevitably be written about his life. Well, not anymore. She wasn't going to be known as Alexander Hamilton's little wife who had been devastated when he cheated on her. That would not be her. She wouldn't let it.
I'm erasing myself from the narrative
Let future historians wonder how Angelica reacted,
When you broke her heart
You have thrown it all away,
Stand back, watch it burn!
Just watch it all burn!
This time, she didn't hesitate to toss the entirety of his letters into the flames. The pain on Alexander's face was a mere semblance of what she was feeling. He deserved every bit of this. Her throat ached immensely, but there was one more thing she had to say to him. Because she had not been the only one affected by his actions and need to reveal their lives to the entire world.
And when the time comes,
Explain to the children,
The pain and embarrassment,
You put their mother through!
She guessed that Philip and probably Eliza knew exactly what had happened. And maybe Alexander Jr. as well. However, John and little William, who had just been born, would have no idea. They would go without knowing why their mother refused to speak to their father. When the time was right, Alexander could tell them. He could tell them, in detail, how he had betrayed her.
He had been so focus on preserving his damn legacy that he hadn't notice that it was right in front of him. Them. His family. Of course, he was too blind to see it.
When will you learn,
That they are your legacy?
We are your legacy!
If you thought you were mine...
Tears finally pricked her eyes and her anger was swiftly being replaced by sadness and pain. They slipped from her tightly shut eyelids and rolled down her cheeks. She hated to cry in front of him, but she couldn't seem to stop.
Alexander himself was crying. "Angelica, I-" She suddenly opened her eyes, glaring harshly at him and he actually took a step back.
Don't!
With that, Angelica left. Alexander was left alone in the room, the smell of his words burning still in the air.
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PLEASE READ!
Hamliza fans, don't kill me! I'm not trying to take away from Eliza at all! I love Eliza! Even if Angelica is my favorite character, who doesn't love the cinnamon roll? Just, hear me out. The official Burn displays feelings of sadness and hurt, which fit Eliza's character. Along with Phillipa's light tone, it gives the sense of heartbreak and utter helplessness (see what I did there? No? Okay then).
Now, this version gives of anger and bitterness. The way the lyrics are remind me of Congratulations. Like, "So scared of what your enemies will do to you, your the only enemy you ever seem to lose to!" and "Your enemy whispers, so you have to scream!" A lot of parts of these songs remind me of how Angelica speaks, which I think is why Lin took it out. It sounds more like Angelica than it does Eliza. Because Eliza is a naturally sweet and happy person, so for her to say those things is a bit out of character.
Now, it would be more in character for Angelica to behave like that. Giving him such a verbal thrashing is what she would do (and actually did do in Congratulations). So, obviously, it would be much more hurtful and resentful.
Anyway, that's how I see it. And if you're still mad, feel free to flame me if you want. But please, do review! Bye!