Disclaimer: Very odd story..........
All the teachers at Hogwarts were on strike. Why? Because they hadn't been granted permission to encourage the student to smoke. Because of this all of the Hogwarts students had a free break until Tinky Winky the Tellytubbie stopped imitating a really high fag to show how bad smoking really was.
Harry Ron and Hermione were all sitting in the common room. Hermione was reading porn magazines, hidden behind the newest version of 'Hogwarts a History', Ron was shaving his legs and Harry was smoking pot to prove how proud he was of his family.
"What a boring free break this is!" Hermione cried while throwing her magazine into the fire. "I mean, we get a free break and all we do are nasty, inappropriate things"
She grabbed Ron by the arms and they started to make out on the couch. Harry started wheezing and coughing up rats.
"Tons of Pettigrews! Hee! Hee! Hee! Hee!" he yelled
He grabbed a beer bottle off the table and ran after the rats like a lunatic, trying to smash them.
Suddenly Fred entered the room, looking like he got into a fight with a gay guy and looked at the snogging couple.
"Hey Harry! Wanna get horny like Ron and 'Mione?" he grunted drunkly.
Harry dropped his beer bottle and slowly walked up to him. He gave him a karate kick in the stomach and threw up all over him. He ran away quickly.
Unfortunately Fred began to chase him around the room. Suddenly, Harry tripped over Parvati and Lavendar's crack box (the reason they giggle so much) and fell into the fire.
Ron and Hermione stopped snogging and looked at Harry's rapidly burning body.
"Somebody do something!" Hermione cried.
"Ronald Weasley Underwear Dude to the rescue!" Ron said.
He slipped a pair of briefs onto his head and put on a pair of oven mitts. He pulled a spatula out of his pants and scraped Harry out of the fireplace. He placed him on Hermione's lap.
"Ronald Weasley Underwear Dude saves the day!"
Ron magically flew out of the room mumbling something about teaching Snape how stylish clean hair
is. Fred took a handful of the cocaine and left the room cackling like a madman.
Hermione picked up Harry's blackened carcass and held it in her arms.
"Oh my poor baby!"
She shoved him in her underwear and went look for Lupin.
.
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Disclaimer: I know it's bad but don't flame unless you have some advice to improve the story.