It's Up To You
Dyfty
…
You can say what you got to say
Wherever you go baby
I will find a way
I'm ready to go anywhere you choose
It's up to you
You decide if I live or die
Wherever you go baby
So will I
I'm ready to accept your point of view
It's up to you
…
It had happened without him realising it, the feelings he had been having just under the surface had finally made themselves know. Over the last few weeks, the more time he'd spend at the flat with Lofty, Robyn and Max…the more comfortable he'd become in other peoples company. Having Robyn blurt out that she had been glad that there were no hard feelings about him finding somewhere else to stay had felt like a dagger to his heart. He's enjoyed coming home to someone other that Dervla, not so much Max and Robyn…they were always to busy playing ridiculous drinking games which didn't interest Dylan in the slightest…even Lofty hadn't shown any interest in them. The nights when the two of them went out to walk Dervla in the park had been some of the most enjoyable hours he'd spent in someone else company. Walking in to the break room, Lofty was sitting at the counter, reading some magazine…he looked up when he realized it was Dylan who had entered the room.
"Dylan…hey look about earlier, it's not that Robyn was trying to push you out or anything but…."
"I don't know what you mean."
"She said she spoke to you, well…she thought I'd spoken to you about the house boat…sorry."
"Why didn't you tell me yourself, if I was outstaying my welcome then…."
"You weren't…at least, not with me. I enjoy our time together, it's been great."
Dylan went silent as he walked over to make a coffee; Lofty gave him a sympathetic look before getting up and coming to his side.
"Have you been to see the boat yet?"
"Not yet."
"Maybe you won't like it and you can stay."
"I've taken it already."
"Without even looking at it first?"
"Well…there seem to be a rush for me to leave so…"
"Dylan I…"
"Look, it doesn't matter now. I've got somewhere else to live…end off."
Dylan put down the cup he was holding, quickly turning on his heels and leaving the room.
"Crap." Lofty muttered.
…
And there's something about that way you smile
Every touch leaves me helpless
Every moment drives me wild
I never saw the cause that made you lie
And never said goodbye inside
You can go where you got to go
Wherever you lead, baby,
I will follow
I'm ready to be all you want me to
It's up to you
…
It was the end of shift and Lofty was standing in the entrance to emergency, the cold air causing him to shiver slightly as he waited for Dylan to appear. It was another 10 minutes before Dylan finally emerged, Lofty looked up and quickened his pace to catch up with him.
"Dylan…wait up."
"What."
"I'm not busy tonight, thought I could come and see your new place with you…if you want company of course."
"You don't have to do that Ben."
"I want too, besides…we were meant to be watching a movie tonight, the others were going out remember."
"You're not going with them now."
"I'd rather watch a movie; you don't have to if you…"
"No, we could…I could make a soufflé."
"That could be fun." Lofty smirked.
Lofty walked alongside Dylan and Dervla as they made they're way to Dylan's new home. They made their way along the river, until they spotted the boat just at the end of the embankment.
"That must be it." Dylan said.
"Looks good."
"We'd better see what it looks like inside first."
They made their way on board and found the key under the mat and unlocked the door. Stepping inside, Dylan felt for the light and turned the switch."
"Wow…this place is amazing." Lofty said aloud.
"Well they said it was furnished but I never imagined this."
"I never imagined a house boat could look like this."
"As appose to my previous one you mean."
"Oh…I didn't mean…"
"I'm kidding."
"Really…hard to tell sometimes."
They walked around examining the rooms, the kitchen was small but everything Dylan really needed, Lofty walked ahead and made his way in to bedroom.
"Wow…Dylan come here and see this."
Dylan appeared at his side and looked around the room.
"Well, it's certainly better than my previous bedroom."
"A tv, double bed and look at those wood fixtures…this is one high end house boat."
"For the price, it should be."
"Look, if you don't want to stay here then you don't have too. I'll talk to Robyn and Max, ask them for a little more time and then we…."
"No…it's nice of you Ben but…no."
"Okay, well…didn't you say something about a soufflé for dinner?"
"You get right to it don't you."
"I'll nip home and grab the movie and I can bring some of you clothes if you like."
"That'd be good, thank you."
"Won't be long."
…
Robyn and Max were playing some card game, a bottle of vodka at their side when Lofty arrived back.
"Where the hell have you been, we expected you an hour ago." Robyn said.
"Yeah come on mate, you got some drinking to catch up on."
"Oh…no thanks."
"Hey, look I'm sorry about Dylan yeah….it is better than he has his own place you know, he was driving us bonkers."
"Maybe you and Max but not me, all he needed was his friends around him while he got better and found a new place, was that so difficult."
"Hey that's not fair, he's been he four months already, I think we gave him more than enough help and besides…he's hardly our friend is he, a colleague at most."
"Well he's my friend."
"That all he is mate." Max suddenly spoke up.
"Max…"
"No Robyn, come on Lofty…you went out of your way to help the guy, even after the way he treated you…you don't do stuff like that unless you care a hell of a lot for the guy."
"Max for god sake, you're making it sound like Lofty has a thing for the doc."
"That's exactly what I'm saying."
"You're a twat sometimes." She giggled.
"No, he's right." Lofty spoke up.
"Huh…don't be daft."
"I'm not, I've been denying it for a while now but Max is spot on."
"Sorry mate…"
"Hang on, are you actually admitting to having a thing for Dylan…Dr Keogh, no way." Robyn said stunned.
"It's not out of the realm of possibilities you know."
"Dylan…"
"He's not some machine you know, he's a human being just like the rest of us and he feels things, god knows he felt hurt earlier, learning from you that we wanted rid of him."
"Hey I never said that, all I meant was…."
"It doesn't matter now anyway, he's got the new boat and it's actually really good, a bit pricey but he can afford it."
"Well there you are then."
"Yeah…"
"So are you coming to join us then or what mate?" Max asked.
"Actually Dylan invited me to dinner, I just came back to get his clothes for him and the movie we had planned to watch last night so…"
Robyn and Max waited for Lofty to gather Dylan's things before apologising for their behaviour, as Lofty walked out the door Max followed him.
"Mate wait up…"
"Yeah."
"I didn't mean to embarrass you in there…about Dylan."
"Don't worry about, I'm not ashamed."
"If you're not ashamed then why haven't you told him how you feel about him?"
"Maybe I'm scared he won't feel the same, I'd rather have his friendship than nothing at all."
"You gotta take some risks, look at me and Zoë…tell him mate."
Lofty offered a small smile as Max retreated back in to the flat, closing the door behind him.
…
And I walk in the dark and the candle burns
Out of place your face is missing
Come the day that you'll return
My love and hope
This moment stops in time
The reason and the rhyme
Inside
You can go where you got to go
Wherever you lead, baby,
I will follow
I'm ready to be all you want me to
It's up to you
It's up to you
You, baby,
…
Lofty arrived back at the boat to the smell of the cheese from the soufflé and music playing in the background, Dervla was curled up under the table while Dylan stood by the stove heating some soup.
"That looks nice." Lofty smiled.
"I nipped out to the corner shop while you were gone, got some vegetables and chicken for the soup."
"Great, well here are you clothes and the movies in there for later if you want to watch it with me."
"Thanks for getting them for me."
"You're welcome."
Dylan turned and their eyes met as Dylan gave a small and very rare smile in Lofty's direction, the air around them suddenly changing.
"I better put these clothes away, would you pour the soup while I'm gone."
"Sure…no worries." Lofty sighed as Dylan walked away.
Dinner was a little quiet, Dervla attempting to get some scraps from the plates when they were finished. They finished the soufflé before Dylan got the movie set up in the bedroom, it was a little awkward at first sitting side by side on the bed but as soon as the movie began, they settled back in to their old habits, Dylan complaining about the terrible stunt doubles, Lofty laughing at the terrible acting. They laughed and joked almost as though their awkward moment had never happened. By the end of the movie, Dylan switched off the tv before turning to Lofty who's eyes were closed.
"Ben…Ben the movie's finished."
Slowly opening his eyes, he smiled when he saw the look Dylan was giving him.
"Bad choice of movie huh?" He said.
"Well you went to sleep pretty quickly." Dylan said.
"I guess I should be getting home then."
"It's very late, nearly midnight."
"I could get a cab."
"Or you could stay."
"Stay?"
"The sofa folds out."
Lofty decided it was now or never and took his chance.
"Or…I could just stay right here." He said, shyly.
"Ben I…"
Before Dylan could finish, Lofty had closed the space between them, feeling Dylan take a sharp intake of breath. Lofty brought his hand up, placing it on Dylan's arm before he pulled back. Dylan stared him down, a blank expression on his face.
"Dylan…"
"You…kissed me."
"I like you Dylan, more than a friend and I decided that I'm tired of hiding it."
"You like me…but why?"
"Well why not?"
"Nobody ever warms to me, even my ex wife gave up on me."
"I would never give up on you, look I know you can be very stubborn sometimes, even rude when you don't realise it but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. You realise when you offend people now and that's a good thing."
"You can't want me Ben…you're mad."
"No, no I'm not bad…just…in love."
Lofty placed another kiss to Dylan's lips before getting up off the bed and heading to the door.
"I'm going to go now, you need some time to process what I've said. I know it's a bit of a shock but I need you to believe me when I say…I love you. I'll give you some time, it's up to you."
Dylan watched as he walked away, sitting on the edge of the bed for a minute of two thinking about Lofty's words, his feelings. The way Dervla was staring at him when she walked in the room.
"What do I do old girl?"
Dervla barked at him before lying down on the floor.
"You're right…you're right."
Dylan got up, grabbed his jacket and rushed out of the boat and walked quickly to catch up with Lofty.
"BEN…WAIT."
Lofty stopped when he heard Dylan's voice, turning as Dylan approached him.
"Hey, I didn't think you…"
Dylan moved forward, pulling Lofty in to him and kissing him with enough force to leave Lofty in no doubt of his answer.
"You're sure?" Lofty asked.
"I'm sure." Dylan said, a small smile appearing on his face.
…
You can go where you got to go
Wherever you lead, baby,
I will follow
I'm ready to be all you want me to
It's up to you
It's up to you
You, baby,
It's up to you
Oh...It's up to you...
Oh...It's up to you...
-Fin