Too late
A/N I saw the episode 'Risky Business' and had the idea for this story. Not sure if it is any good but read and review. This is during season 6 but no Doyle or JJ leaving.
Disclaimer: Of course, I don't own Criminal minds but I do own a lot of revision books for my exams in 2 and a half weeks. But here I am writing this.
Reid's POV
He sat there in here this dark empty room as he sat at his desk writing his final words. He had enough of cases and always being too late to save the people who had been killed by some psychotic murder. He folded the paper and grabbed his gun.
It reminded him of Gideon leaving. He had been worried of what he would find when he reached that cabin. When he read Gideon's note, he had been saddened to learn that his mentor and friend had cracked under the pressure of this job but he had been relived to not find his lifeless body in that cabin. At the time, he couldn't understand why Gideon would give up. How could he give up on people who needed saving? He was his friend and he abandoned him. Then he had been so angry but now he understood. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't forgot the faces of the people he couldn't help. His friends always said on concentrate on the wins but he couldn't.
Every time he closed his eyes they were there. Every. Fucking. Time. They never went away. He was losing the will to live. No, he had lost the will to live. The final straw for him had been his mother's death. She was gone. No longer there to comfort him with a letter after he had a tough case.
He thought about his friends. He hated upsetting them but when he was gone it was over. The idea of a god made him laugh. God. If there was a god he a cruel evil creature. He created these people full of hate and anger who felt compelled to kill
He thought about how angry Morgan would be at him. He would never forgive him for this but he couldn't go on. He imagined Morgan hitting a wall in frustration imaging it to be him. He didn't deal well with emotions. He took it out on other objects around him.
Garcia and JJ would be distraught. Hotch and Rossi would be disappointed in him. They expected better of him. He knew he was weak. He had shown this with the drugs.
Reid's thoughts drifted to Emily. He loved her but was to emotionally stunted to admit this to her. She deserved better than him. Better than a recovering addict who had no social skills. He tried understanding what people thought was normal conversation topics. He liked statistics. They made him feel confidant.
He held the gun up to his head. He let his mind fill with thoughts of all the good times with the team. He felt his life flash before his eyes, His childhood –His mother's illness, his father leaving, the bullying. He remembered joining the BAU. Their Nights out and gentle teasing in the bullpen. The jet rides home after a case. He thought about Emily and pulled the trigger.
Emily Pov
Emily was sitting in her apartment wondering what was wrong with Reid. She knew something was up. Woman's intuition or whatever you want to call it. He had been acting strangely all day.
- Flashback -
"Em, Can i speak to you, please."
"Sure, Reid. What's wrong" She smiled at him encouragingly.
Reid took a shaky breath and removed a small box. Inside was an old watch. He handed to her and said "I wanted you have this. It was my mother's."
Emily was shocked and tried to protest but Reid just told her to take and walked to his desk.
Later that evening, Reid had finished his case file and got ready to leave. Emily had been walking out around the same time. He noted that she was wearing his mother's watch. They got in the lift.
"I wanted to thank you for the watch. I know it means a lot to you."
"No problem"
They got to the car park and both left.
"Em, you know I love you don't you?"
"Of course Reid. I love you too." She smiled and he walked away his to his car.
-End flashback. -
She stared at the watch but suddenly a dark thought entered her mind. She remembers the case of the suspected suicides. JJ had told her about her sister who had committed suicide. The gift and the 'spontaneous proclamation of love'. His mother dying. That was his stressor.
"Oh my god, he is going to kill himself." She whispered.
She grabbed her keys and her phone. She rang JJ as she rushed to her car.
"Agent Jareau speaking."
"JJ, I need you to ring the whole time because I think that Spencer is going to try and kill himself."
"What? Em, you need to explain yourself."
"There is no time." She screamed. "Just ring the rest of the team and tell them to g to his place. Please JJ, just do it." She hung up and tried to ring Reid's phone but got his voicemail.
"Reid if you get this message, Ring me back and don't do anything drastic. Please, Spence, I love you. I really do."
She got to his apartment and rushed up the stairs. She knocked on his door and heard no noise. She kicked down the door.
The sight inside the door made her feel as if her heart had been ripped out of her chest. His lifeless body lay on the ground surrounded in a pool of blood.
She crossed the room and picked up a note on the desk.
My dearest Emily,
I knew you would be the one to come and find this note. I am so sorry that I put you through this and I hope you can forgive me but I understand if you can't. I am just so sick and tired of being too late to save someone or watching them die right before my eyes. I am so sorry.
Goodbye,
Spencer
P.S I meant it when I said I loved you. I always have.
Emily Prentiss sank to her knees and beside Spencer's body. Tears were running down her face. She noticed the rest of the team arrive. She barely registered Morgan punching a wall, Garcia was crying, JJ had fainted. Hotch and Rossi had called paramedics knowing it was a waste of time but they couldn't leave his body here.
Emily barely noticed any this. All she knew was that she was too late. Too late to him she loved him. Too late to help him. Too late to save him. Just too late.
A/N This is completely different from the way i expected it to turn out but what you going to do. Anyhow Review.