So this is awaited sequel for Jelly Slugs & Acid Pops.
Updates are going to be slower than usual since I'm terribly occupied with my studies.
I wrote it because I wanted to make you happy, enjoy!
Chapter 1 : Rehab
When Alexa walked out of 12 Grimmuald Place, she shut the door on her previous life; the people she fought with, the friends she cared for, the boy she loved, the memories she loathed. Taking that first step and leaving that house behind was the first stage of erasing any trails of her past; her deeds, her emotions, her memories. Metaphorically speaking, she wanted to gather all the knowledge of her former life in a high pile, and burn it to ashes while smirking with satisfaction; but when the fire dies down, she would not remember why she was smiling, because she would not remember a thing.
Alexa stood in front of the Kaiser mansion, halting before the great iron gate, which stood tall and intimidating. The gate opened for her immediately, recognizing the Kaiser blood in her veins, but when she entered the mansion, it was no longer her home. Some say home is where your heart is, but Alexa's heart was declared missing. Others claim your family is your home, but Alexa had none. Whatever definition you choose to adopt, the fact remains the same, that Alexa was homeless. She sat in the drawing room with her family's lawyer, who was a close friend of her parents, and was looking at her with great worry.
"You need to sign here, and here," he explained to her, while going through the formalities regarding her last relatives' death. She had been signing papers for hours.
"Now we have to discuss what you'd like do with your property." He told her in a fatherly voice, worried about the hollowness of her eyes.
"Sell everything." Was her reply.
"Sell the mansion?" he asked, "It was in the possession of your family for hundreds of years."
"Then it's time for a change." Alexa said flatly. "I want everything sold; the mansion containing all the furniture, the cars, the farms, the summer house and any other estate I own."
"Why?" he asked, merely more than a whisper. All he got was silence as a reply. "I will see to it that everything is sold."
"Thank you." She said emotionlessly.
"I am to inform you that your fortune is estimated in twenty million Euros." The lawyer said with slight excitement, "Taking into count the worth of the mansion and your other estate."
"Thrilling." Alexa said bitterly, wanting the meeting to end.
It seemed that he finally felt his presence was disturbing her peace, and started gathering the papers, neatly placing them in his briefcase. Alexa escorted him out and he stood on the doorstep hesitantly. "I've been a friend of the family for many years, Alexa," he told her softly, looking at her with gentle eyes, "So don't be a stranger. If there's anything you need…"
"I appreciate your offer," Alexa replied politely, and he nodded and left. Sighing deeply, Alexa grabbed her coat and left the mansion too, walking to the cemetery where many generations of her family were buried. Despite the splendor and tasteful design, that cemetery was as depressing and grim as any other cemetery, because the deceased were dead just the same and it made no difference whether they were poor or wealthy. She placed a wreath of freshly picked flowers, mainly white lilies; her grandmother loved them, and as Alexa was told, her mother too.
Alexa sat down in front of her parents' graves and stared at the cold tombstone. "I really wanted to make you proud." She said, and her words lingered in the air as the place was deadly silent. "But I guess everything I did, and everything I do will only disappoint you more."
The sun slowly set behind the high pine trees, which began to shed their pointed leaves, the browns and reds of the fall taking over the usually green forest surrounding the graveyard. It was not long before winter would come and cover the earth with a pure, white blanket, and the world would slow down its progress, decaying into a forced sleep. An early rain began to pour on the inanimate graves and on Alexa too, who seemed to be equally lifeless. She let the rain drops soak her clothes, wet her face and drip from her hair, and shuddered when the wind blew, freezing her bones. And then she wept.
Alexa returned to the mansion, sleeping for the last time in her room. In the morning she gathered a few things and packed a small bag with belongings she could not bring herself to destroy. It was a Monday noon when she showed up at the Santa Augustine's drug rehabilitation center and walked over to the reception desk, asking to sigh in. The receptionist gave her an odd look. "Please take a seat and wait, Dr. Schwartz will see you in several moments."
Dr. Schwartz was a very tall woman, with black curly hair and dark eyes; her appearance seemed to have a soothing quality. "Miss Kaiser, will you please follow me to my office?" she requested kindly, and Alexa obeyed. Dr. Schwartz browsed through Alexa's medical history files with great concentration, before raising her eyes to meet the pale blue ones of Alexa.
"Why do you wish to admit to this hospital?" she asked after a long silence.
"I'm a drug addict." Alexa confessed, her voice slightly hoarse.
Dr. Schwartz gave her a long, examining stare; Alexa was frighteningly pale and extremely underweight. "What drug did you abuse?" the doctor asked, taking out a notebook and a pen.
"Too many to list." Alexa smiled bitterly, "But mainly methamphetamines and opiates."
"No Heroine?" the older woman cocked an eyebrow.
"No." Alexa replied honestly.
"That puts us in a better start point." Dr. Schwartz said with relief. "When was the last time you used any sort of drugs?"
"Yesterday." Alexa whispered.
"Then we have a very long way ahead of us." She said with a tight smile, "I hope you are mentally prepared for it, because it is far from easy." She warned Alexa, "We can't force you to withdrawal, and you can leave whenever you want; we believe that full recovery cannot be established through forced withdrawal."
Alexa nodded, waiting for the woman to continue. "A nurse will show you to your room. we will run a few tests today, and tomorrow we will discuss your treatment." The doctor informed her.
Alexa shrugged, she was quite indifferent to just about anything at that moment. "Are you aware of the costs of your stay here?" Dr. Schwartz raised a curious eyebrow, "This is the most prestigious institute in Europe."
"I can afford whatever ridiculously high payment you demand," Alexa said with a dismissing wave of her hand, an aristocratic expression on her face.
Dr. Schwartz smiled brightly and said, "Good Luck."
The first few days were a living hell; her body yearned for the drugs and her mind craved it too. The weaning pains were a close second to Snape's Cruciatus but instead of lasting a few minutes, it agonized her for days. But it was not the physical suffering that had caused her to nearly break, but the mental aspect that was the hardest to deal with. Unlike been cursed, where the most you could do is somewhat resist it but mainly endure it until it ends, this time she could stop the pain anytime she wanted just by abusing the substances her body ached for. It was that easy walking out of the hospital; no one would stop her, and purchase what she wanted from the first drug dealer she would encounter.
Actually she was on her way more than once, pacing maniacally in search for a fix. She even went as far as buying drugs but in the last minute regretted it and flushed it down in a public toilet; it was the thought of her parents and her friends that made her do it. What would her parents think of her when they saw her being so weak? A true Kaiser would never surrender like that. And what would Hermione say? Or worse, Draco? She watched the colorful pills disappearing in the whirlpool of dirty water and made her way back to the hospital, collapsing on her bed.
"Why did you start using drugs?" the doctor asked, her fixing the glasses on the bridge of her nose.
"It started with the nightmares…" Alexa replied hesitatingly, not wanting to reveal too much. "I couldn't sleep…"
"What were the nightmares about?" the woman inquired, writing down in her notebook.
"Things that I've seen… things that I've done…horrible things." Alexa said quietly. "I was a…soldier, in a war." Alexa continued, trying to give a simplified version of the events, adapted for Muggles. "I needed to be sharp when I fought, so I used more drugs…"
Dr. Schwartz ceased her writing. "Yes, I'm familiar with cases like yours." She said tiredly, looking at Alexa with wise eyes that seemed terribly sad. "The nightmares are not going to cease soon, Miss Kaiser," she informed her morbidly, "Nor the guilt you feel. You will have to solve these issues." Alexa nodded with agreement, "If you don't make peace with yourself it will continue to haunt you, and you will be tempted again to turn to drugs as a cure."
"I realize that." Alexa replied, her gaze lowered to the floor.
"You seem to have dealt with the weaning in a remarkable way, Miss Kaiser," the doctor said while glancing at her notes, "You have been cooperative, showed exceptional abilities in resisting temptation and an impressive endurance to pain. I'm sure you were an outstanding soldier," she remarked and Alexa cringed at her words, "I would like you to stay here for a few more weeks, just for us to observe and for you to rest."
"Fine." Alexa shrugged, she had no better place to be in. The meeting was over and she returned to her room and delved in the only thing that kept her sanity in those three months of weaning; her studies. She Owled McGonagall just when she sighed herself in, asking her, due to the special circumstances, to take her N.E.W.T without attending Hogwarts; surprisingly, the severe professor allowed her. When she was finally out of the rehabilitation center she moved to a small apartment in the center of Berlin, allowing herself to enjoy days of studying in cafés and parks, trying as much as she can to suppress any thought of her past.
McGonagall even arranged for her to take the exams in an isolated class, away from the other students, so she would not have to deal with the prying questions. It was on her last N.E.W.T when she sneaked out of her room and to the Great Hall, trying to be as invisible as possible when her name was called. She quickened her step even more but a hand closed around her wrist, pulling her to a stop.
"Blaise," she whispered softly, with relief.
"Are you happy to see me, or are you relieved it wasn't someone else?" Blaise gave her one of his infamous smirks. She did miss it.
"If you wish to talk, I must insist we do it somewhere else." Alexa said urgently, looking around and hoping to see no one she knew.
"Lead the way." Blaise said obediently.
She grabbed his hand and quickly led him outside of Hogwarts territory; a second later they were no longer in Britain. "Berlin," Blaise quickly recognized the environment, "I'm rather found of this city. Why have we traveled so far?"
"Many people have many questions to ask me," Alexa said darkly, "questions I'm not ready to answer yet."
"I see," Blaise said slowly, scanning her with his dark, deep eyes and leading her inside a small café, "You look terrible, Alexa."
"I look pretty good for someone who just got out of rehab." Alexa snapped. Blaise raised an eyebrow. "How much you know about the war?" she asked, after ordering an espresso.
"You fought for the Order, Draco joined you after a while." Blaise said casually, "That's about it."
Alexa sighed. "And you heard nothing exceptional about my part in the war?" she inquired, watching his features closely.
"Well, a few rumors did made their way to my ears," he said vaguely but when she gave him a hard look he added, "Yes, I know what you've done. Everybody knows."
"How did they take it?" she asked, biting her lip.
"Well, you do have a terrifying image," Blaise admitted reluctantly, "But you're a hero. They fear you and admire you at the same time."
Alexa frowned; it reminded her of someone she loathed, someone she tried to differ from. "I needed to get away from all of this. I still do." Alexa explained, her voice breaking slightly, "I haven't forgiven myself for the things I've done and the last thing I need is the press snooping in my personal business. I don't want to be a second Potter."
"I can understand it." Blaise said slowly, giving her a thoughtful look, "But the way you left…you hurt many people."
"I didn't have a choice." Alexa replied firmly.
"Perhaps," he said doubtfully, "For how long are you intending to disappear?"
"I don't know." Alexa said truthfully, "Until it clams down. Until I calm down. I plan to travel for awhile, visit different places and experience. It might takes years."
"Do you want me to deliver a message to anyone?" Blaise asked, giving her a meaningful stare. When he said anyone, he meant Draco. "He will wait for you, you do realize that?"
"I do. I don't want him to wait for me." Alexa said painfully.
Blaise ordered a bill, and paid for both of them, sending the waitress a breathtaking smile. He was one of the lucky ones who was unaffected by the war; he and his mother were never forced to chose sides and left the country as soon as things were getting dangerous. "I bid you good luck, Alexa." He said while standing up, "I do hope to see you soon in Diagon Alley, over a Butterbeer, and laugh at our school years shenanigans."
"You'll be the first to know when I return." Alexa promised with a smile, and her gaze escorted him as he left the café.