Cass hears the distinctive chime of the communications console on board Homestead. With a smile she crosses the cockpit to answer, hopping over the exposed wires from her latest in progress repair job. After two and a bit years here most people would have actually found an apartment. Cass and Tak were not most people. They would only have bought a place the same size anyway. Tak has a small fortune but they had both decided that was strictly an emergency fund. She grins as she slides into the seat "Looks like you get paid. Under 30 minutes. Coming from your side of town, that's impressive."
"When my girl wants Chinese, she gets it quick. Now please open the door. It's raining." Nathan's smile is as audible as always.
"Can't let the food get cold I guess." She teases. If this had been a few hundred years ago she would be twirling a telephone wire coquettishly.
"What about your boyfriend?" He replies trying to sound offended.
"I suppose I could let him in too. Tak! Food's here." Cass shuts off the communication, jogging down the corridor to meet him at the door. At this point, she can't tell what looks better, his bright blue eyes or the insulated container he carries.
"So how much do I get in tips?" He asks, raising a dark eyebrow. Cass leans over and presses a short kiss into his mouth by way of reply before breaking off abruptly.
"You started the prawn crackers without me asshole?"
"Sorry babe, couldn't be helped."
"Lucky you're so pretty!" Cass grins, dragging him inside.
/
"You see that's the beauty of takeout. No one has to clear up." Cass says. Tak agrees. He doesn't know about the others but he feels too full to move. Nathan is almost asleep on what passes for their couch, an arm slung around Cass's shoulder. Tak remembers a time when he didn't feel quite so comfortable around him. Nathan is a very perceptive person and Tak guesses he must have given off a distinct 'don't cross her or me' vibe. Tak supposes medical students have to be but there is more to it than that. Both Nathan and Cass wear their hearts on their sleeves.
Six months after she had known Nathan Cass had told him their true identities. It was a big risk. Nathan was the son of one of the most affluent men in the city and that could well have made him slightly wary of the two Envoys. Wary enough perhaps to cause trouble for them. Tak had told Cass as much.
"He's not a meth, Tak. I know what I'm doing! Gods don't you think I would have made sure I could trust him? After...what happened on Fallow...I...know to be careful who knows. I'm not a complete moron." This had pulled Tak up short. He remembered that awful day too. And the months of sporadic night terrors afterwards. He had run into her room several times after hearing a scream to find her caught halfway between residual fear and acute embarrassment. Cass was pretty open with her emotions and was opinionated as hell but she didn't like to bleed on people any more than he did.
"We talk a lot about history. He...he's a sympathiser." As it had turned out, he wasn't the only eccentric of the family. His father had got himself coded, not because of religious convictions as he pretended but because he believed as Quell did that one life was enough. Tak and Cass were privately unsure of this decision given what had happened to his wife. Nathan's mother's stack had been destroyed in a car accident five years ago. Given the damage to the front of the vehicle, it was a miracle that her twin girls had survived relatively unscathed. Luckily, they were too young to have a clear memory of the event. Tak wondered if it was better or worse that they didn't remember their mother either.
Suddenly Nathan's ONI buzzes. He jolts awake and stares blearily into the middle distance. The display will be telling him who's calling. He frowns, the last vestiges of tiredness replaced by puzzlement.
"Hey, you okay?" Asks Cass, her face mirrors Nathan's
"Sorry, excuse me, I gotta take this a sec. It's Mia." He gets to his feet and his voice drifts away as he takes himself off down the corridor for some privacy "hey Kiddo. Shouldn't you be in bed? What's up?". Cass and Tak exchange frowns. The rumble of Nathan's conversation with his sister grows lower. They catch him murmuring "shhhh" at one point. When he emerges back into the cockpit that serves as both mess hall and living room, his face is pale, the features twitching slightly with worry.
"Baby?" Asks Cass.
"I...I gotta go." Nathan swallows heavily "It's my Dad...he's not well. He's been taken to hospital. My sisters are hysterical...I gotta..."
"I'll come with you." Cass is already on her feet, heading to her room to collect her jacket. The rain is still a steady curtain outside. While she is gone, Nathan exchanges glances with Tak.
"Give my best to your family, Nathan." Tak says softly. Nathan's eyes meet his as he nods tightly. The scuffle of Cass hopping her way into her boots prompts him to follow her. The sound of the rain grows momentarily louder as the door opens, almost drowning out Cass' goodbye shout. Then quiet descends on Homestead once again.
/
Cass sits in the waiting room of the hospital, watching Nathan's twin sisters as they sleep. Mia is curled catlike on a long couch while Kyla rests her head on Cass's lap. The ability of kids to sleep through stress once again impresses her. Still, there are traces of tears on the young girl's cheek. Kyla was the one that found him. Mia had been the one to call the paramedics and Nathan. She gently strokes the kid's hair as she looks around the room that more closely resembles a plush office than a place of healing. Pictures that look like originals line the walls and there is a very expensive but odd looking sculpture that Cass thinks might be a giraffe in the corner.
Nathan emerges from the door to the consultant's office. Cass feels her heart ache at his expression. It's clear he's been crying.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Cass whispers as he slumps into the chair next to her.
"It's his heart. He...er had a heart attack. They need more tests but...it's not looking good Cass."
She shifts to rest her head in the space between his shoulder and jaw. The latter is tense against her scalp. "Hey. Your Dad is one of the most stubborn people I know. One of the things I love about him. He's got more than a shot."
Nathan looks at Kyla and swallows heavily, closing his eyes. Cass is about to lift Kyla's head when Nathan's eyes fly open. They look scared.
"Don't wake them!" He says "I wanna...work out what to say first. How to prepare them if...I'm training to be a doctor, Cassy. I know his chances, given his coding. I need to come up with some kind of..." He stares straight ahead for a moment and Cass just holds his hand. "His lawyers already contacted me, you know." He glares at the wall, nostrils flaring "he's not even dead yet."
"Fucking vultures" Cass agrees.
"Cass...you don't have to go home tonight do you?" He leans his jaw on her head again.
"No. S'ok. I'm staying right here." She closes her eyes.
Nathan huffs out a relieved breath "thank the Gods for you Cass. Always here when I need you.".
"Not if I thank them for you first. I mean, you are pretty awesome too."
"Humm. Yeah..." he drifts off to sleep, the heightened adrenaline levels caused by the worry of the evening starting to crash. Cass shifts her head to a less bony part of his shoulder and follows suit.
/
Cass ends up staying with Nathan's family the whole weekend. Tak has left the planet to conduct his own research, chasing a rumour about some rich collector of Uprising-era artefacts. It has taken them the best part of nine years to narrow their search down to seventeen of the thirty eight settled worlds. It's not the first time they have split up. In fact they could not have got this far without doing so. Cass is glad she is able to be here. The girls need a distraction in lieu of school and Nathan? He needs a distraction too.
She meets him at the bridge that spans the river. It would be more accurate to call it a mall. Several levels contain shops, cafes and an upscale VR theatre. The top level is given over to a park which at night is lit by thousands of tiny lights. It's about the most pleasant place in the city of Gardener and is bookended by the hospital and the sleek skyscrapers the rich call home. They wander together through the crescent shaped raised planters, overflowing with tiny flowers.
"Your dad awake yet?" Cass asks.
"No. Still no change." Nathan looks like hell. Circles darken the olive skin beneath his eyes. She doubts he has even seen a bed for three days "I should head back soon." He looks towards the hospital.
"No." Cass tells him "you need rest. In a proper bed. And a meal that doesn't come in a packet. Look if you don't come willingly I'm gonna have to make you?"
"Really? How?"
"Tak taught me about 5 different martial arts styles. Remember that story about the Stallion dealer on Canton? I wasn't kidding."
"Yeah, I still can't decide if that made me scared or insanely attracted to you."
She laughs "well if that's what you like..." she nestles into his side. "Home?"
"Ok, then, home."
/
After dinner, Cass and Nathan sit on a couch that is bigger than her entire room on Homestead watching some inane drivel of a movie.
"I swear most romantic comedies are based on the premise that people are incapable of basic communication!" She says.
"Wanna turn it over? I can find a crime show if you want. There's a great one I found recently.
There's rain. Devastating twists. Bromance where one of them isn't a bro. More rain." Nathan looks amused.
"Nah I'm invested now. Who will Janelle choose?"
"But who killed Rosie Larsen?"
"Let's finish this one first. I need closure dammit!"
Nathan laughs and can't seem to stop for a while. Cass is glad. He needs it. Eventually he looks thoughtful.
"What's up?"
"I've been thinking. You know the stuff with my dad? It's got me thinking about what his wishes are gonna be. What to do with his legacy. The things he wanted to do."
"Don't go there yet. He's still here."
"Cass. Even if he gets through this one he has a eighty per cent chance of another one within a year and...I have to think about it because there's no one else."
"There's me. I'm here." She shuffles closer.
"That's part of what I want to talk about. My future. I wan't you in it.". Here it is. The one thing she can't give him. The promise of a future. She and Tak may have to move at a moment's notice. It used to be easier to accept for both of them.
"Ah. The 'f' word again." She says, curling back into herself.
"Cass. You...have real talent. You could be using it."
She switches off the movie and turns to face him, steeling herself for a serious conversation.
"I am."
"Yeah but...look I believe in what Quellcrist was doing as much as you. But...that was a long time ago. I know it's still recent for you and Tak but the rest of us learn it in ancient history. We...have to deal with the world as it is now. Not try to...recapture something dead."
"What exactly do you want me to do, Nate?"
"Stay here. I've got plans. My dad had plans to found a charity. To make medicine more affordable. Provide age appropriate sleeves for sleeve dead kids. You are a fantastic engineer, Cass. Your intellect? It should be used for something better than just...trailing after a ghost. You could help me with the technology. And the girls, they love you..."
"I don't wanna talk about this" Cass cuts him off, shifting uncomfortably. Because part of her sees what he's saying. But she can't leave Tak. She made a promise. Her friend would always have her.
"Cass. How...do you even know this is what she'd want? What her revolution is dead and she gets to be brought back into her worst fears come true? If Tak really thought about it he'd see that that's pretty selfish."
Cass can feel her eyes flashing with anger. 'And coding yourself after your wife dies isn't?' She just about stops herself from saying. Nathan can see it anyway.
"You have...no right to tell me what she wants Nathan. No fucking right. You weren't there. Now I know your head's fucked up right now but don't you dare call Tak selfish, you hear?". She walks off down the hall before she can say something they will regret. Before he can see the tears in her eyes.
"Cass? Cassandra?" He asks from the living room. She closes the door.
/
The following day, Cass finds herself chewing cereal at the sleek glass breakfast table, the only sound in the empty apartment. She won't return to work for a week. The twins are at school and Nathan has left early to be with his father, leaving her to sleep late. A few spots of milk stand out on the clear surface. Anthony Costa, Nathan's dad, has a real thing for using glass in decorating. She remembers being almost afraid to touch anything in the apartment when Nathan first brought her home. She was convinced that Nathan's father would wonder what his son was doing bringing home a slightly scruffy girl who essentially lived in her car. Anthony's warm manner and attentiveness had more than assuaged these fears. "See, told ya he'd love you." Nathan had said later, after they had bonded over Anthony's vintage graphic novel collection.
Cass ponders the sort of argument last night. Her anger has given over to concern. Nathan is just scared of loosing the father he loves. Cass is worried for him too. Anthony is a truly decent human being amidst the moral cesspool that most of his social class exist in in this era and has become a good friend to her.
Her ONI alert buzzes. For a moment she hopes it will be Nathan, wanting to clear the air. But it is Tak's features she sees in the display. She accepts the call.
"Hey Tak. Any luck with our collector guy?"
"No." The negative is totally redundant. His fallen face tells her enough. She can read him like a book by now.
She sighs feeling the customary disappointment at the development. They had had so much hope when researching this lead. "Ah well" she says "next plan then. She hasn't made it easy, has she?"
"She never did. That's what made her what she was." Tak says. Cass knows exactly what he means.
"What's wrong, Cass? You look as sick as I feel." Tak says eventually.
"Nathan's dad. It's really not good."
"Tell him I'm sorry." Tak says with feeling then frowns "where is Nathan?"
"At the hospital."
"And you're not." He states rather than asks.
"Yeah...err...he had something he wanted to ask me last night." Cass tells him. Tak is the one person that could understand after all. "I mean, I know he's just being like that because he's cut up about his dad but...doesn't he know me at all?"
For a moment Tak looks thoughtful. "Tak? Come on what are you thinking?" She asks.
"I'm thinking..." Tak takes a deep breath that gives Cass a cold feeling in her chest.
"What? Come on, tell me." She smiles encouragingly.
"He has a point, Cass." Tak fixes her with dark eyes, as serious as she has ever seen them.
"What?" The word comes out flatter this time and the smile fades away.
"I've been considering this for a while-"
"You have, have you?" Cass starts to shake slightly.
"Cass. Just calm down. You're not a child any more. I...want you to consider your own life. We need to discuss-"
"Is this your way of telling me you don't want me around any more? Nearly nine fucking years and then suddenly you start questioning my decision? You didn't have any problem with taking me on as your little helper back then. What's changed? Oh except it isn't sudden, you say? How long have you been bored of me, then?"
"Cass let me speak! You are putting words in my mouth." Tak says sternly.
Cass can feel tears building in the dark eyes behind her ONI. The eyes that have come to feel like her own. "I can't do this now, Tak. I'll rendezvous with you back at our dock. That's assuming you don't have any further 'thoughts'." she spits the last word.
"Cassandra-" begins Tak before she shuts off the signal. She sits back down in the chair, her chin resting on balled fists as the tears fall. She rubs her fringe back from her forehead with a sigh, a shuddering question escapes her lips as she feels her foundation shaken.
"What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"
The sound of the door opening makes Cass snap her head up. Nathan walks in, tossing his bag on the floor. The contents spill out over the plush carpet and he glances at the mess for a second before shrugging and walking past it. That's when he notices her. She can see him looking at her face and guilt clouds his.
"Oh Cassy." He crosses the room and envelops her in a hug, cradling her head to his chest. She draws him closer and he rests his lips on her head "I'm sorry. I was a complete asshole last night. Those things I said...I'm sorry for pushing too hard. And Tak? He's gotta be one of the least selfish people I know. I'm a bit of a mess right now." He still has his head on hers. She nods, feeling stubble through her scalp.
"Yeah. A hot mess though." She nestles her chest into his.
"You forgive me?" He asks.
"I suppose so" she gently teases. She feels his face crease into a smile and is glad.
"Hey." He says "what's wrong?". Cass sighs. She could swear her boyfriend is actually an empath.
"I don't...can...can you just hold me like this...for a bit.". His hug feels nice against the conflict that has settled unpleasantly in her heart.
"Sure thing, honey."
/
Cass arrives at the dock right on time, shaking her head at the state Homestead is in and at the weather. 'What have you done to our girl, Kovacs? Didn't make me mad enough already this week?' She mentally demands, looking at the scars from plasma shots marring the metal. She frowns, patting the hull. 'Perhaps that's why he hasn't called again' she thought flippantly.
She extracts her hand from her glove, brushing it roughly past the sensor she rigged up years ago. The blue light shifts to green and the hatch opens.
She can immediately sense something is wrong. A tension thrums through the air and the lights are dimmed to almost nothing. Cass knows better than to call out to Tak. She always carries a small knife and she draws it now, the instincts honed from her teens kicking in as she half crouches, half walks towards the cockpit, fists balled. She almost slips in a pool on the floor. She thinks it might be coolant leaking from above. Until her nostrils catch the sickly metallic tang of blood.
"Looks like our question's answered, dunnit?" Says a stranger's voice.
"CASS GET OUT-" Tak's shout is interrupted by a grunt of pain. Fear and fury surge through Cass and she yells at Homestead's computer to turn on the lights.
Stark red streaks line the walls and floor, leading into the cockpit. A man uniformed in the jumpsuit worn by the system's local law enforcement stands over Tak.
"Get the fuck away from him!" Cass yells.
The enforcer's plasma shot almost catches her in the face. She drops to the floor before it can reach her, then runs directly into Tak's attacker. Another blast grazes her shoulder painfully but she doesn't slow down. She is slight but it is enough to knock him to the floor. Tak kicks a gun over to her and she trains it on him deftly.
"Some houseguest you brought home!" She remarks before getting a good look at Tak. At the freely bleeding gash in his side. "Oh my gods, Tak! What did you DO?" She demands of the man at her feet.
"My job, Quellist Garbage." He tells her. It happens so quickly. He seizes the knife from her hand and twists round to bury it in Tak's leg. Tak screams, a sound that shoots right through her. The man lunges higher and the knife comes down into Tak's torso. Before he can make a third strike, Cass fires the gun at the base of the enforcer's neck. His body crumples on top of Tak, lifeless.
Cass hurls the gun aside, dragging the man she shot off her friend. "Tak. Tak. Talk to me please."
"Cass" he rasps weakly. She looks down at his injuries in horror. Her head starts to swim. Not because of the amount of blood but because of who it belongs to. It should be safe inside him. His eyes close fitfully. She wonders if she is watching him die.
"Don't worry Tak. I'll get your stack out. You'll be back. I've got ya."
"No, Cass, can't resleeve." he gasps.
"What?"
"Can't explain...need this one...for now."
Cass looks down again, at the blood still spreading around her. She dials Nathan's ONI muttering a mantra of "please pick up, please pick up, please" before he answers.
"Cass, what-"
"No time. Nate. Tak's bleeding out. I need you to hurry."
Thank the gods for Nathan's clear head. "I'm on my way. I'll get what we need. Keep pressure on his most critical wound. You at your usual dock?"
"Yeah." She cuts of the transmission, doing as instructed. She feels like she's holding Tak's entire left side together. Like he will unravel if she lets go. She repeats his name over and over and his hand rests on hers as he looses consciousness. It feels like an age before Nathan arrives. He takes in the scene, visibly shocked but not missing a beat. He relieves Cass and sets about stabilising Tak. That seems to take an age too but eventually he moves him onto a makeshift stretcher. With Cass's help, he gets Tak into his car.
"No hospital." Cass tells him.
"Cass, if we wanna save his sleeve he needs urgent surgery..."
"No. He...there's a reason ok?"
Nathan takes a deep breath. "Ok. Back to mine. I'll make do there. We'll just have to get him in before anyone sees. I'm assuming the dead guy..."
"He did this. I...took out the threat."
Nathan's eyes bulge. "It's not murder." Cass blurts out "he was killing Tak. Might still do. Gods his screaming..." Cass lets out an involuntary sob.
"Hey, we'll fix this. Not sure I should be saying this as a nearly doctor and all but...good riddance. Just keep driving."
/
Tak opens his eyes. The first things he is aware of are an expansive bed, dim lights and a throbbing down one side. He allows himself a quiet grunt of discomfort as the soreness registers in his nervous system.
"Hiya, Takeshi." Says a young voice. Mia, the shorter and bolder of Nathan's sisters is looking at him intently. Of course he would have to be the one that helped.
"Hiya, Kid" Tak breathes, shifting painfully to a seated position and trying not to swear in front of the girl.
"Nathan and Cass said you shouldn't move for a while. They said you'd had a bad accident when they carried you in the other day and that you need to rest. Then they said that you nearly died and Cass was crying. I don't think I was supposed to hear that so don't tell ok?"
"Sure thing. Wait...other day? Mia, how long have I been asleep?"
"Three days. I'll go get Cass. The child gets to her feet and makes her jaunty way to the door, dark braids bouncing endearingly. "Hey Tak?"
"Yeah, Mia?"
"I'm glad you didn't die like Mummy." She leaves the room and he hears her yelling for Cass. Tak feels his stomach clench a little at the heartbreaking frankness of her comment. Less than a minute later Cass is walking through the door.
"Dammit! You had to wake up in the ten seconds I wasn't there didn't ya?" She smiles.
"Sorry. I can pretend I'm asleep again if you like." He closes his eyes and nestles on the mountain of pillows with which he has been provided.
Cass laughs then her breath hitches "I was so scared, Tak."
He opens his eyes to see a stricken expression on her face and realises how horrific it must have been for her. "Hey, come here" he reaches out a hand, needing to take that look away "I've been this banged up before. I can take it." Cass takes his hand and swallows heavily.
"So you mind telling me what the fuck that was all about? Why I came home to a slasher movie? Why you couldn't resleeve?"
"You know that the systems within the Protectorate operate somewhat autonomously? I was ambushed by their forces after I refuelled and taken on board their ship...it has apparently been decided that for the purposes of this system my pardon is retracted."
"So you're wanted again?" Cass gapes.
"The orders were to shoot on sight. Real death."
Cass sinks into the leather chair next to the bed "Well shit."
"What happened to the guy that did this?" Tak asks.
"I shot him through the stack. Thought that was reasonable after he stabbed you half to death."
"Wow ok then. The guy had amazing reflexes. I can't say I'm not proud."
"And once again you are the strangest guardian ever." Cass tells him "most would frown upon their ward killing a guy."
"Well an eye for an eye and all that shit...". Cass frowns at him, puzzled at his tone "the guy you killed was on his twentieth sleeve. Apparently he was considered a good investment. He...was around during the uprising era. I read his file before I escaped their ship." He wonders if he should tell her this but, yes, she would want to know. She values honesty. "He was credited with the assassination of the Quellist collaborator Simon Nolan and his family during the uprising."
Cass's expression hardens and Tak can almost see her reflecting on that awful day that had started her life on its trajectory "What are the odds, huh?" She sighs "Damn, I wish I'd made it hurt more now. Possibly in VR."
"That's not you, Cassy."
"What's done is done now, right?"
He nods "what did you do with the body?"
"Took Homestead out beyond the moons. Shoved him out an airlock. Spent a lovely afternoon scrubbing blood off the bulkheads. No one need ever know."
"Except Nathan..."
"He's as good as no one. I trust him. I trust what we mean to each other."
"Cass..." Tak begins "you know our...conversation the other day?"
"I don't want to talk about it." She tries to shut him down.
"Well we have to. This changes things Cass. I'm a fugitive again. And as long as I stay here Nathan and his family are in danger. They are good people and I won't...put them in that position. I have to leave as soon as I can stand. Hell, maybe sooner."
Cass's face is doing that awful thing again. She is trying to be brave. "Ok I'll ask Nathan how long that'll be and...um...we'll need more supplies if we are going on the run. Fuel will last till the next system and then-"
"Cass. You do understand that we might not be able to come back? Ever. If you come with me...you'll never see Nate or the girls again. You'll never be able to embark on those projects you both dreamed of. This is it."
"I promised...I promised to help you find her." Tears fall from Cass's eyes. "I'll come."
"Cass. I'm the one who's wanted. This should fall on me alone."
"But you're not alone. I don't want you to be." She sniffs.
"Oh Cass. Is that why you stay?"
"I stay because I love you Tak. You're the closest thing to family I have." Cass almost shouts.
'Damn, I don't think we've ever done the 'L' word before' he thinks, feeling the emotion rising in his own chest. "We both know that's not quite true anymore, don't we? I couldn't say I reciprocated as I do if I didn't try to make you see that. You...make friends wherever you are Cass. You care so much about people who are suffering. Alice is now happy with children of her own rather than the abused pet of a meth because of you. You can do so much more of that. You can be whatever you want to be."
Cass takes in a shuddering breath. "I'll ask Nathan when you can move." She says and leaves the room. Tak sinks back into the bed, a tear coursing down his left temple.
/
In the two weeks since the assault he experienced on Homestead, Tak has returned to near normal condition. A deep, fresh scar forms a seam from his right pectoral to his waist but apart from that he is relatively healed. Nathan is driving the three of them back to the old vessel, hidden at a different dock. It is a bright sunny day with enough of a breeze to keep the heads of the trees they pass swaying in their odd dance. It's one of Cass's favourite sights.
"Thanks for doing this, Nathan. I'm sure you would rather be at home at a time like this."
"Nah. I'm kinda glad for the distraction to be honest, Tak. The girls are at school and all I'd be doing would be staring at four walls."
"You could always stare at me." Cass quips affectionately, dropping a kiss onto his cheek.
"That would be lovely but I expect you'd get bored of it after a while." he replies.
Nathan's father had passed away the day Tak regained consciousness. Cass remembers him coming home from the hospital after she put the girls to bed and sinking into the couch, drained of colour and vitality. She had known before he said it.
"Dad's gone Cass." He had managed before crumpling in on himself, gasping sobs emanating from the foetal curl of his body.
She knew better than most that words were not needed here. She had simply held him until they both fell asleep. The girls's grief was even worse to watch and the four of them had ended up on the couch again, a tangle of embraces. Tak had eventually emerged and sat across from them, radiating his empathy from dark eyes.
Kyla had turned to Cass when everyone else was again asleep. "Why did he have to go too?"
"I'm sorry Lala. I don't know." Cass wiped a tear from the child's face. How can she explain her father's decision when she doesn't understand it herself?
"Nathan and you won't go too will you?" The fear in Kyla's face broke Cass's heart.
"We're both here baby girl." She drew the girl into a tight hug and met Tak's eyes over the top of her dark hair. Maybe that was the moment. Maybe it was the long hours of thinking afterwards, untangling the mess of emotion and motivations in her mind. But she had finally made her decision.
The car drops down to ground level as Nathan cruises it to a stop. He gets out with the two of them and shakes Tak's hand warmly. "Good Luck, Tak." he says with feeling. Tak bows his own head in reply before Nathan leans on the car, holding back to give them privacy.
Cass is mostly silent as everything she owns is pored into a duffle bag. She pauses over the battered bag of tools she has always used to keep this place flying. Tak will need them more than she does. She has insisted upon Tak taking the ship. "I got her for the mission, Tak. I want her to see it through." She had told him. She shoves her clothes, books and holotablet into the bag along with the necklace Tak had given her. They never usually did the birthday thing but when she had turned eighteen he had given her a replica of her parent's wedding rings to replace the one she'd lost centuries ago.
They meet in the hallway as Cass swings her huge bag over her shoulder.
"You know...I don't have any idea what to say. Is that weird?" She says with a nervous laugh.
Tak rubs the back of his neck "It is for you, yeah."
A silence falls as both of them huff out gentle laughs.
"Thankyou...isn't enough Tak. You have saved me in so many ways...I...want you to know that if at any point in the future...wherever you are...you call for me and I'll come running. Across the stars, you hear?"
"Back at you, Cass."
"Just don't...don't disappear. Don't be gone forever."
"I'll touch base as often as I can. We'll get around it. I know I can't shake you that easy."
She nods "And Tak...when you find Quell...can you tell her I'm sorry for letting her down. For stopping." 'Here come the tears' she thinks ruefully as she looks at the floor.
Suddenly Tak is lifting her chin to face him "Listen to me, you are not letting her down. Don't you dare think...you never have. When I meet Quell again I'm going to tell her how proud she should be of you. You are worthy of the title Envoy, Cass. She would think so too."
Her chest swells "Takeshi!". She throws herself into his arms and they bury their faces in each other's hair.
"You deserve all the happiness and peace left in the settled worlds." She murmurs into the embrace.
"Got to leave some for you and Nate. And the girls." He replies.
Eventually she breaks off and heads down towards the hatch. It's now or never. "Look after him for me, girl. He needs it." Cass says, patting a bulkhead. Tak laughs at her eccentricity and she turns back to him with a smile.
"Goodbye Cassandra Nolan." He says.
"I'll...see you around Takeshi Kovacs. I mean it." She says before walking out of the door. She walks over to the man who waits for her. His arms uncross and enfold her as they watch Homestead take off with a flare of engines. She's running at her smoothest, the arc of her trajectory almost approaching graceful as she grows smaller and smaller.
"I hope he finds her." Nathan says softly.
"I don't need to hope. He will." She replies with feeling. "And we will see both of them again."
He nods, allowing a moment of silence to settle before kissing her forehead. "Home?" He asks gently.
Cass gives him a half smile "Yeah. Let's go home."
/
-Thirty six years later-
Cass waits at the dock, feeling butterflies tearing holes in her stomach. Five years of radio silence and then came the news she has longed for. Quellcrist Falconer is back in the world. And Tak is bringing her to see them.
She'll have so much to tell her. After finishing her travels with Tak she and Nathan had, among their many philanthropic projects, quietly campaigned for Tak's pardon to be reinstated. By the time a change of government in the region had brought this about, Cass and Nathan had become parents to a twin boy and girl. ONI communication and twice yearly visits-come-technical consultancy sessions had maintained their friendship. Tak had been reluctant given her status as a parent but she had even run a few more missions with him. Just like old times.
Homestead lands in front of her, looking pretty much the same as she ever did. The butterflies kick their activity up a notch.
The hatch opens to reveal Tak and Quell. Their sleeves are subtly different but she can still recognise them. Cass herself has only resleeved into a replica once since she was twenty four. The better to conduct her research.
She looks at Tak first, at how something that always seemed missing from his expression has been restored. Then she turns to the woman he stands with.
"Quell?"
"Cassandra Nolan. Fancy finding you here."
"Quell" Cass says again. She runs to cross the space between them and hugs both her rescuers and one time guardians, feeling something restoring itself to her own heart too.
Envoys take what is offered. Cass reflects on her life so far as she reunites with two people who have meant so much to her, as she takes them back to meet her family. If this is what the universe has offered her then she'll take it.
Gods she'll take it!