IMPORTANT: Set at the beginning of The Eternity Code and The Last Olympian.
Kayla and Austin are Apollo's children. They were mentioned in TLO.
Disclaimer: I do not own either the Artemis Fowl books or Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.
Note: These files were found in Artemis Fowl's diary, which he handed to LEP technical consultant Foaly after the Atlantis Complex he was suffering from took near total control of his brain. This excerpt was part of an encrypted file that took even the centaur months to decode. It has been translated from Gnommish by Professor J. Argon, B. Psych, for the LEP Secret Archive. These events are believed to have taken place shortly after our subject met American businessman, Jon Spiro, in London and got him a little (too) interested in some (stolen) fairy technology.
Please enter your Omega Level password to proceed:
En Fin Restaurant, Knightsbridge, London
"Don't talk Butler. Lie still. The wound is not serious."
Artemis was no longer sure who he was trying to reassure. Blood pounded in his ears. No, Butler couldn't possibly die. His friend had been with him through too much. He was much too good to die at the hands of a petty marksman with bleached hair…
He tried to gather himself, to think. After all plots and plans were his forte. But no lightening sparked through his famed cranial cells. All he could think of at that moment was, "He's going. Butler's about to die and there's nothing I can do to stop it. Nothing short of divine intervention can save him now."
It was at that moment that the restaurant was over-run by giant snakes.
They weren't ordinary snakes, he observed, his mind strangely detached from the situation. These snakes were about 20 feet long and rather than the usual green, red or even brown, they were a bright shade of neon pink.
At any other time Artemis would have laughed at how utterly ridiculous they looked. But strangely, even pink snakes don't look funny when one of them curls around your left ankle and hisses "Die, mortal!"
"It's obvious," concluded Artemis, "My mind has clearly been affected by Butler's imminent death and I'm now in a middle of a bizarre hallucination. Although I am a little disappointed. Pink snakes? I had assumed my subconscious had more class than that."
Suddenly a boy and girl appeared at the doorway, silhouetted against the bright afternoon sunlight.
"I see that more visitors have arrived in the realm of my imagination. I hope my brain does better this time. It is a little embarrassing to be lost in a daydream about reptiles the color of Juliet's nail polish."
The snake wrapped around his foot paused, looking about as surprised as it is possible to with only a pile of slimy skin to call a face.
"Not particularly original," thought Artemis, dissatisfied by the images his hallucinating cranium was creating. "I need to re-read The Book of Nonsense."
"I'll do it, I have more arrows left in my quiver," the girl said. The boy standing next to her nodded and loosened his stance. He plopped himself down on a nearby chair and waited for the girl to take action.
The girl raised a shining golden bow and nocked an arrow with an ancient Greek symbol inscribed on its tip.
"Music," noted Artemis, "Clever. She means to sway them away like a snake charmer."
What actually happened was a tad more dramatic. The arrow hit a snake in the centre of the room and it began to shriek in a high, unearthly voice. There was a flash of hot pink light and an African-American cheerleader in purple and white uniform was lying on the floor writhing in pain. "The only thing unusual about her," thought Artemis disapprovingly, "is the legs. This is the first time I've managed to disappoint myself."
Below the purple skirt, her left leg was brown and hairy, like a farm animal's while her right was made of some kind of metal and shaped like a human foot. Or at least that was what Artemis thought it was supposed to be. Calling that misshapen lump of metal a human leg, in any but the loosest terms would be insulting Creation itself.
"Kronos curse you!" she snarled and disappeared, leaving a strong smell of burning gas behind.
The girl sighed and lowered her bow. She turned to face the boy and for a moment, her face was clearly illuminated by the bright afternoon sunlight.
She had brown hair which fell down her back in a long plait and her expression was a little guilty as looked at the boy. She smiled ruefully and her brown eyes crinkled at the corners as she did so.
"Sorry, Austin. I'm still not too good at this."
The boy shrugged. "Tammi's smart."
"I wish we'd spent the past couple of weeks training at Camp instead of stuck in the middle of snob land with Grandma-n."
"I know," agreed Austin, "The first couple of days I thought we were staying with Grandpa. Then I realized she was a she under that mustache."
Beside Artemis, Butler coughed loudly, splattering blood across his shirt. His breath caught in short, painful bursts.
Kayla and Austin were instantly alert and turned on them as one, bows ready to fire. When they caught sight of Butler, Austin's eyes widened and Kayla gasped in horror. She took a step back and said, "I thought she'd just knocked the mortals out. It was us Tammi was after, right?"
"He could be a Laistrygonian," said Austin uncertainly, "I mean, look at his size."
"Size be damned, it's my fault he got hurt. If I'd been quicker with that arrow back at Grandman's…" she broke off and ran towards Butler, bending over him and muttering what sounded like a hymn in ancient Greek.
The sunlight pouring in from the window seemed to brighten around Kayla and the rays twisted as she continued the song. After a few seconds, Kayla began to look strained. She spoke faster and more forcefully. From the few words that Artemis could pick out, he assumed that she was muttering another, older hymn written in praise of Apollo, the Greek god of medicine.
To his utter disbelief, Artemis saw a small blood-stained object float out of Butler's chest, supported by beams of sunlight. The tissues within his body began to knit themselves. He noticed a small golden spark playing near Butler's right leg, as a gash that had probably been caused by the glass lying on the floor healed.
Kayla was pale and shaking. For a moment, her voice faltered and the tissues began to grow in the wrong direction, making connections that weren't supposed to exist. Her voice grew louder, until she was practically screaming the words.
Austin's worried eyes flitted between the doorway and his sister, whose complexion now resembled an albino's. The En Fin was an out of the way, exclusive joint but someone would surely pass by sooner or later and notice that the windows looked like they'd been in the audience for a high pitched operatic singer's performance.
"Nectar," whispered Kayla, so softly that for a second he thought he'd imagined it.
"NECTAR!"
Okay, that definitely wasn't his imagination.
He took out the old fashioned plastic bottle that he always carried with him even thought it made him look like a kindergartener. It was a gift from his dad – a bottle that never ran out of nectar no matter how much or how often it was taken out from it.
Austin hurried over to his sister to hand the bottle to her, although he still kept an eye on the door. Police sirens could be heard and any minute the law enforcement would be there.
"This is a seriously bad time for us to get arrested, Kay," he said urgently, "Remember Kronos? The bad guy we're supposed to be fighting? I think he's a tiny bit more important than a mortal who clearly has some monster blood in him."
"Al-almost done."
"Kay, you can barely walk! We've got to get out of here ASAP!"
"I'm fine," said Kayla and promptly fainted.
Austin swore under his breath and tried to lift his sister up. He grunted. Gods, he promised he'd never again tease or tempt her when she tried to diet.
Suddenly, a pale hand assisted him in steadying her. He looked over Kayla's unconscious form and saw the boy who had been sitting next to the big guy she'd healed.
"I'll help," he said. The words sounded a little strange coming from him, like he'd never said them before.
But Austin decided that losers couldn't be choosers. As long as the boy was human, he couldn't care less about his history.
The sirens were getting louder. Any second now, the door would burst open and they'd be on the wrong end of a dozen guns.
With the other boy's help, Austin managed to drag Kayla out from the back door of the restaurant. A second later, the main entrance exploded and a couple of splinters flew all the way back, narrowly missing them.
"Dramatic."
"Clichéd."
Near Rotherwithe Sewage Works, London
Artemis and Austin spent the next hour hiding from police detectives doing a sweep of the area. Once, they nearly walked bang into Officer Joe, who had decided to take a quick doughnut break and broken the patrol routine he'd been following. Another time, they had to duck down into a pile of rubbish to avoid sniffer dogs on the hunt for any more explosives in the area.
Through all this, they also had to drag Kayla, who was still unconscious. By the time they managed to evade the police and sneak into a back alley, they were both totally out of breath and smelt like a pair of skunks.
Artemis sucked in a huge gulp of air and wheezed out, "Name?"
"Austin."
He pointed to Kayla. "Sister?"
Austin nodded. Both of them were far too winded for a proper conversation.
"Kayla. Big guy?"
Artemis sat up and attempted to straighten his tie. "He's unconscious like everyone else in the restaurant. The police have no reason to suspect him. Besides I'm certain that Butler can bluff his way through this."
"Butler?"
"My friend's name is Butler."
"Seriously?"
"Do you honestly want to discuss etymology right now?" sighed Artemis.
The other boy got the message and shut up, although he wondered how eggs were related to the giant man.
At last, Kayla stirred. She blinked and sat up slowly, massaging her head.
"Typical," grumbled Austin, "Show off, pass out and let me handle all the grunt work. Here, drink." He handed the bottle to her.
She glared at him and drank deeply. Austin held out a hand for the bottle but she continued to drink until he yanked it away from her.
"My sister's practically addicted," he explained, "But too much of it is bad for her."
"Is that a drug?" frowned Artemis, "You gave that to Butler too, didn't you?"
Kayla turned to her brother. "Butler?"
"The half-Laistrygonian. Don't ask."
She nodded and then winced. "Ouch."
"Bad head?"
"Worse than the last time I went out for a party with the Dionysus kids."
After a few minutes, she finally sat up straight and asked Austin, "Who's he?"
Her brother shrugged.
"He could be one of Kronos' for all you know, Austin!"
"He has perfectly sound hearing," interrupted Artemis, exasperated.
"Who are you?" asked Kayla suspiciously.
"I owe you a debt," he continued, disregarding her question, "You saved my friend's life for which I am deeply grateful. I am willing to assist you in almost any possible venture."
The siblings stared at him like he'd grown a couple of hydra heads.
"It's very nice of you to offer, but we don't have any problems that an ordinary mortal could help with," she said finally.
"You referred to me as mortal. Does that mean you two aren't?"
"Not- not really," stammered Austin.
"So that would make you half-mortal, half-immortal, correct?"
"I – um…we, that is – we have a dental appointment!"
"Ah yes. No doubt your dentist told you to meet him right after you finished slaying a snake/cheerleader and spent an hour running from the police?"
"Um…"
"Do not underestimate me. I am Artemis Fowl II."
Austin's eyes bulged out at that. "What did you say your name was?" he demanded.
"Artemis Fowl II"
He gave a howl of laughter and rolled over laughing. Kayla's body too shook with suppressed giggles.
"What?"
"It's just that – it's just… a girl's name," she explained.
"A very special girl's name," added her brother and let out another sharp crack of laughter.
"Austin!"
"I am aware that Artemis is a girl's name. However in some special cases it can be used for both sexes and it means Hunter. It is the name of the Greek goddess of the Hunt."
They stared at him again.
"I am quite well read when it comes to ancient Greek texts and I couldn't possibly neglect researching my own name."
"Who are you?"
"I have already told you, I am Artemis F…"
"No," said Kayla, cutting him off. "Why are you so – so nonchalant? You're acting like it's an everyday thing for you to be running away from the police with strangers and then discussing Greek mythology sitting in the lane next to Rotherwithe Sewage Works."
The boys simultaneously pointed towards each other and said, "He picked this lane!"
Kayla raised an eyebrow. It was a trick she'd spent all summer practicing in front of the mirror. "Really?"
Artemis was the first to recover from his momentary lapse into childishness and said, in a very dignified manner, "As I said, I'll help you defeat this 'Kronos' your brother mentioned. As I already owe you, I am willing to make a considerable deduction to my consultant's fee."
"You what?" gasped Kayla, "First, there is no way in Hades you could defeat Kronos. Second, I just saved your friend's life and you're demanding a fee for a job you can't even do!"
"I suppose, I could forgo my fees," he said reluctantly. "Conscience is a most foolish thing. I must stop its development."
"He's either completely off his rocker or he's a genius," Austin told Kayla. "We can use him. Best case scenario: He kicks Kronos out of the world. Worst case scenario: He runs into a battle with a celestial bronze grenade and blows himself up along with a bunch of monsters. Either way, there's no loss for us."
"We can use anyone we get and he's obviously clear sighted if he saw Tammi's snakes. He could prove useful, like that Rachel girl last summer," she conceded. Damn it, she still needed to work on how NOT to give in to her brother all too easily. "But we've missed our flight. How will we reach Long Island on time now?"
"Did I mention my private jet?"
Aboard Artemis Fowl's Lear Jet, Cruising above the Atlantic Ocean
"This sure beats Economy Class' right-next-to-the-toilet seats," thought Kayla, curling up on the Lear's luxurious seats. After the heavy Michelin star-worthy food that they had eaten, she felt lazy and content. She glanced at her brother, who was sitting next to Artemis and saying for the millionth time, "So you're a criminal mastermind?"
Artemis looked like he wished he was a serial killer instead. Kayla didn't blame him; her brother could be a real pain in the rear end. For some reason completely unknown to her he'd been ecstatic to learn that their new friend was extremely well known in the highest criminal circles and had an active Interpol file. He hadn't really believed the last bit until a thoroughly exasperated Artemis hacked Interpol's site through his phone and showed him the record. Since then he'd been muttering, "Cooler than Cody Banks and Spy Kids," under his breath and pumping him for more information with the kind of utter ruthlessness that only a few hardcore FBI agents possess.
"You still haven't told me much about yourselves," said Artemis, cutting off another one of Austin's enthusiastic queries. ("Do you own a flying skateboard too?")
Kayla avoided his gaze. "There's not really much to tell."
"Oh stuff it Kay, we can trust him. The thing is simple: me and my sister are the demigod children of the Greek god Apollo."
"Music. Healing. Sunlight," said Artemis, a faraway look in his eyes.
"Exactly."
"So I'm assuming the Kronos that we will be fighting is the Titan King?"
"Yup."
"The immortal Titan Lord of Time whose very presence can annihilate those in his vicinity?"
"That's right. Although he's trapped in Luke's body for the time being so we don't really have to worry about getting crisped in his presence."
"Of course not. As far I have read, he only has about a few million more unearthly powers at his disposal. There's no need to worry at all."
"Great then!" announced Austin, leaning back comfortably in his seat. Within seconds, he was fast asleep and drooling.
"Is your brother mentally ill?" asked Artemis, getting up and sitting next to Kayla.
"Nah, he's just too optimistic for his own good. I think he's afraid to face the fact that we're in serious danger here. He tries to cover it up with his overt cheerfulness but Austin's still a kid. He's just scared."
"I see."
They sat in silence for some time. Then, just when Kayla was staring to wonder whether Artemis had fallen asleep and if he drooled in his sleep like her brother, he spoke. "Tell me everything."
"Sorry?"
"Every tiny detail that you know about this fight. Go as far back as you can and add your own observations in. I want to know as much as possible about your people."
"Why?" she asked sharply, her guard up.
"So that we can defeat Kronos" he said, his eyes meeting hers. She saw no deceit in them, only the excitement of a child faced with a tough puzzle. What was it her brother had said? A genius or off his rocker. He looked like both to her.
After carefully considering the odds, nodded.
"Alright. It's not like we have much of a chance anyway…"
Above the Long Island Sound, Long Island, USA
"So where did you say this Camp was exactly?"
Austin pointed towards a corner of a digitally enhanced map of Long Island on Artemis' computer.
Artemis frowned. "There's nothing there."
"That's because you computer can't see past the Mist, mastermind."
"First, never use that nickname for me again. Or any kind of nickname, pet name or any version of my name except the original. Second, if my computers can't see past the Mist, how will I know where to land?"
"Just land in that field," said Kayla, shoving past Austin to look at the computer screen. "It's right next to camp and the people who owned that farm moved out of it two years ago."
Artemis stood up.
"Where are you going?"
"To land the craft of course."
"Where's the pilot? Potty break?"
"Did I forget to mention it? There is no pilot on this jet."
Kayla gaped at him while Austin said, "Wicked! So you can fly a plane too, mastermind?"
He sighed. "We really have to do something about that ridiculous nickname."
As soon as Artemis left the passenger area, Kayla practically jumped on to the first available seat and fastened her seatbelt so tightly that she could barely breathe.
"Are you okay, sis? You look kinda blue and I mean that literally."
"Sit down, Austin! Before that insane individual crashes into the ground and reduces us to cinders!"
"Jeez, Kay, paranoid much?"
"Shut up and put your seatbelt on!"
"Will not!" sang Austin, dancing just out of his sister's reach.
"This is not a High School Musical, Austin. SIT DOWN!"
"We're all in this together…" he sang, with a horrible fake accent and unbelievably high pitch.
"AUSTIN!"
"C'mon, mastermind isn't going to crash the plane. He's on board too, remember?"
"Artemis Fowl is a complete junior psychopath!"
It was at this extremely inopportune moment that Artemis entered the cabin to announce, "We've landed."
There was a pause as he took in Kayla, who had collapsed on her seat due to lack of oxygen and Austin, who was in the middle of his HSM jig.
"Do I want to know? No, forget it… I'll be waiting for you two outside."
"Kay, you didn't just kill yourself, did you?" cried Austin, rushing over to help her remove the seatbelt.
"Shut up!"
"Aw hell, just when I got my hopes up too…"
"You irritating little…"
Just then Artemis' voice cut in on the two siblings bickering. He sounded rather strained.
"Kayla? Austin? Could you two please come out?"
His voice sounded strangely nervous.
Maybe that was because it's difficult to sound cocky with an electric spear shoved under your neck and a dozen different ancient Greek weapons pointed at you.
ConCrit appreciated and compliments adored. So REVIEW!