"I am sorry for the invasion." the man said trying to fit his legs inside the sheets, taking extreme care in not touching the body that was already lying on the bed.

"Don't be ridiculous. We'll sort your stuff tomorrow and you can move into your own brand new bedroom."

"Thank you for offering me…"

"I said don't be ridiculous, Moony." he interrupted.

He had just moved into his friend's apartment. The war had been going on for months now and Remus' home had been completely destroyed in the last Death Eater attack. He did not have much money and renting a place on his own was completely out of the question, so Sirius, his old school friend, had kindly offered for him to come share his flat. They had been doing a reformation during the day to transform the small studio upstairs in a second bedroom but haven't had the time to finish. So Sirius, again, with his big heart, had offered Remus to share his bedroom instead of asking him to sleep in the far too small couch as he had intended to.

"No. Seriously… I needed… I have been on my own for too long, since my parents died I have been feeling really lonely and this… this will be good."

Sirius sat up on the bed, as if admitting that the conversation had become more serious.

"You know you've always had us, we've been seeing each other from time to time."

"Sirius, don't pretend you don't understand what I am talking about."

There was a long silence in which Sirius seemed to be considering Remus' statement, but was actually simply waiting for another input from the werewolf so he didn't have to admit it to himself.

"I do. I do understand… I guess is what war does to you." Sirius finally said, looking down at his lap.

"I am sorry, I didn't want to enter depressing conversations on my first day at your place."

"It's okay. None of us has been particularly cheerful lately. And it is our place now, you know?"

Remus finally lay down on the bed and so did the other man right after him, facing his friend.

"I have to leave tomorrow."

"Mission?" asked Remus, trying to sound casual, as if Sirius wasn't talking about putting his life in danger again.

"Yes, of course. I… I am sorry that I have to leave just when you've moved in, I am very happy that you are here, really."

Remus simply smiled, not knowing what to say. He had always been left lost for words when Sirius made an open display about his affection for him, even if they weren't as deep as he wished for.

"I'll have time to change your flat to meet my tastes then." he joked "You won't be able to recognise the place when you come back, it would be filled with books and tea bags and it will smell like an old library."

"I would love that." He said, with a broad smile on his lips, closing his eyes. "Goodnight Moony."

"Goodnight Padfoot."

Remus hadn't sleep properly for longer that he cared to admit. So he stayed in bed staring at the floor thinking about important things, about his friends, the war, the mistaken stand that the Ministry was taking on the issue. And also about non-important things, some fiction book he had been reading lately, the ugly colour of the curtains in Sirius' bedroom... He knew it was stupid, but he was pretty sure that he would have actually sleep better in the couch. Not that he didn't like Sirius' company. He liked it too much and the steady breathing of the man was making him feel quite uncomfortable. He guessed that several hours must have already past since they went to bed. It was still dark outside but he did not feeling like staying in bed for very much longer.

He moved Sirius' arm in an attempt of going out of the bed without bothering him.

"Mm're you goin'?" the sleepy voice of his friend asked him.

"I was planning on having a tea and reading a book in the living room." The only answer he got from that was a sleepy grunt. "I'm sorry I woke you up" he whispered "Just go back to sleep."

"No… no. Moony, come back here. Stay with me."

"Mm?" he looked at the man lying in the bed from his sitting position. Sirius had extended his arms in his direction, like if he were offering a hug.

He doubted for a moment too long and finally went back inside the bed. As soon as he did this, his friend's arms closed around his waist.

"Sirius… what… I mean…"

"Cold... m'backtosleep."

And for some weird reason, he managed to sleep better than he had in months.

Remus woke up feeling something tickling his nose. It was Sirius' hair. The closeness of the other boy's body made him feel a little bit uncomfortable so he moved away, more careful this time and went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. The good sleep had put him in a really good mood so he went for some scrambled eggs and bacon, which he rarely made.

"That smells nice." said Sirius entering the kitchen a bit later.

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, you didn't bother me Remus." he said, with a hint of desperation in his voice. Remus simply cared too much about everything.

"Oh no, I didn't think so."

"Why?"

"I tried to get up in the middle of the night and you didn't let me." he laughed looking at his friend, who was setting the table.

"Huh? Did I...? Oh, I'm sorry.. I..."

"Hey, it's okay." Remus suddenly panicked, not understanding why Sirius was reacting awkwardly. He felt a little bit weird about it himself, but that was for a completely unrelated reason and his motivation for trying to make a little bit of fun about the whole situation.

"I don't remember doing or saying anything at all. Well, we've always known I don't have any self control." he said, smiling up at him, and stealing a piece of bacon that Remus had just taking out of them pan.

Okay, that was more like the Sirius-kind-of-reaction he was expecting. He was not being weird about it and he didn't remember saying anything, which meant that Remus could actually joke about the whole thing.

"It's fine, it's just that I wouldn't have said you were the cuddling type."

"Oi! Don't make fun of me. I was sleeping..." Remus laughed, "Are you just making that up to bother me?"

"Why would I... Why would that bother you?"

Sirius just shrugged at that and took a glass of water. Remus decided that it was better to blame it on the war. It was a horrible situation really. They had never imagined themselves in such situation. He remember fondly the times when they would talk about their future while at Hogwarts, dreaming about their adventures, lives, jobs and families. The only one who had come a bit close to what they were supposed to do with their lives was James. He had married Lily and they have had a beautiful little baby named Harry. Even though it was probably a bad time to bring a new life into the world, it seemed to have brought a little bit of light in their lives. Even to Sirius, who had been named the little boy's proud godfather.

Peter was still living at his parent's and he had only seen him in the Order meetings a few times in the last couple of months. People seemed to be moving away from each other. Or at least from him. Remus felt that everyone was closing up more and more. Sometimes, instead of blaming it on the war, he ended up blaming it on the huge packs of werewolves that have joined the Dark Lord and consequentially, increased people's prejudices. But this did not explain it properly, since the only five people that knew he has a werewolf had known for a very long while, and three of them, his friends, had made huge sacrifices for him. Still, he felt as if he was being somehow left behind.

When Sirius had offered him to go live with him after the attack at his parent's house, where he had been living alone, it had been like a ray of sunlight that he hadn't felt in a very long while. His friends were still there. They still cared about him despite what the war was doing to all of them. Times were difficult. And feelings were expressed in a different way. Maybe, they could only be expressed while one was sleeping.

He was lying on the bed on his new bedroom when Sirius came back home two days later, ragged and looking extremely tired. He opened the door of Remus' bedroom without knocking and rested his body on the doorframe.

"Hey Moony, how you doing?" he smiled weakly.

"Sirius, are you okay?"

"Yes, of course I am. Can I stay with you? Please?"

Remus stood up in response and took his friend by the arm and directed him towards the bed, where they both sat.

"You sure you are fine? Do you want anything?"

"No. Just sleep... And not to be alone."

"Okay."

They were both again lying in the same bed. Why was this apparently happening every time they both were in the flat? Not that Remus minded, really. It was just a bit unnerving. His friend really did not look okay, something was bothering him and Remus could not tell what. He could not ask him either. Missions were top secret. Sometimes he did not know if they were made to weaken the enemy, or to weaken themselves, feeling more and more alone and broken with every little thing they were asked to do for the cause. After a long time lying in silence, in which Remus thought that the other man had fallen asleep, Sirius broke the silence.

"Moony, what do you do when you go away on your missions?"

"You know that I am not supposed to tell you this." he whispered.

"I know. But, Remus... I... I was talking to... No. It's not him. It doesn't matter. Me. It's me." He turned around to face Remus, his eyes were watery and he looked crazier and more of a Black than he had ever looked to Remus. "I need to know."

"I... Why would you need to know? Sirius, what's wrong? You are a bit... you should calm down."

The other boy closed his eyes and breathed deeply, apparently, following his advice.

"I can make you some tea if you want to."

"Why do you have to be so bloody nice?!" he screamed, opening his eyes again and sitting up.

"What?" there was no response "Okay. I am definitely making you something to calm your nerves. Just stay in bed, please."

He left the room, looking back again to check on his friend's state, who had lied down again and appeared to be crying. Remus' heart tightened in his chest. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen Sirius cry. He felt desperate and went downstairs to mix some tea with a few drops of a potion that he had to calm his nerves when the approaching full moon was causing him trouble.

When he went back up, rushing up the stairs, he found Sirius sitting in bed, resting his back against the wall. He seemed to have stopped crying but his eyes were still red. Remus took a deep breath and offered him the cup. The other man took it looking up at him, with a gesture of pain in his face that he could not understand. He took a long gulp and put it on the bedside table. Remus sat next to him and put an arm on Sirius' shoulder.

"Are you feeling better now?"

"Yes, thank you. I am going to go to sleep now, if that's okay. I'm sorry for bothering you with my stupidity." he said, turning his back to Remus.

"It's not stupidity Padfoot. We are going through something... something nobody should ever go through, really."

There was no answer to that, so he turned off the light and rested his head in the wall, knowing that he was not going to get any sleep that night.

Not more than half an hour had past, when he felt the body next to him move closer. He readjusted his position not to bother him, but the other man moved even closer this time and Remus didn't have enough time to react when he sensed somebody's lips softly pressed to his and a hand on the back of his head. He immediately had such a rush of adrenaline that he felt dizzy. He didn't know what to do, how to react but almost without realising it, he had started to part his lips, responding to the movements of his friend's mouth demands. Too many thoughts were moving and collapsing in his brain. He remembered the first time he admitted to himself that he liked Sirius, the fights they had, the laughs... he didn't even know why he was thinking so much instead of enjoying the hand that had furtively slide to his right hip.

Remus rested his head in the pillow and put both his hands around Sirius' neck, not daring to break the kiss. He started moving his hands down the man's body feeling the warm and the rough skin on his shoulders, his arms, his chest... how hadn't he realised he was not wearing a shirt?... and then, Sirius broke apart. Remus panicked for a second, but then he felt those lips again, only now, they were pressing into his neck, right at the most sensitive spot. He let out a very high-pitched cry that, he prayed, the other man didn't hear. Remus held him tighter, afraid that Sirius was just sleeping and not realising anything, and that he would just wake up any moment now. He didn't even dare open his eyes to check on him. And suddenly, there were fingers touching his belly, pushing his shirt up a bit, and a bit more, slowly, almost questioning. He made the effort of moving away from Sirius so as to be able to pull his shirt off himself. As soon as he laid back on the bed again, the very fast hands of his friend were now pulling at his pant's waistband. Remus forced himself to breath deeply. This was really happening. He moved away again to take his pants off, faster than he had ever done while he felt the body beside him doing the same.

They fell into a passionate embrace, both touching as much skin as they could, arms and legs entangled. Remus felt Sirius' erection against his tight and bit his lip. And then, there was a hand on his cock and he didn't know what to do. His brain shut off and he could only feel the incredible pleasure that the touch was causing. He closed his eyes. The hand was moving slow, exploring, experimenting. Another hand was placed on the left side of his bottom, pulling him closer.

"Is the pressure okay?" Sirius whispered in his ear.

Oh, so he truly was awake.

"A little... a little bit more." he stopped himself from begging just in time.

"Like this?"

"More... Oh, yes."

He stayed still for a while enjoying what that wonderful hand was doing to his cock, while the one that had been resting on his left buttock started moving and playing around his hole. Suddenly, he realised that he hadn't touch Sirius at all. How had he been so stupid of missing such an opportunity? He pushed the boy away from him and made him lay down on his back. He started placing kisses on Sirius' body starting around his neck and going all the way down to his navel. He stayed there a bit longer, while caressing the man's tights and balls with his hands. He heard a soft and repressed moan coming out of Sirius' mouth and chose that moment to take his cock into his mouth. The moan instantly became louder. Remus sucked and played with his tongue, making and effort to please the other man as much as he could. Sirius' hand had return to his ass and had now wet fingers that were trying to move closer to his entrance. Remus kneeled without stopping what he was doing with his mouth, inviting Sirius to go on. He felt a single finger going inside him and expressed his contempt with a prolonged moan that sent vibrations to Sirius' cock. Then, another finger was there and Sirius was pulling his head up, dragging him into a kiss.

When Remus felt that he was ready for what they were going to do he laid down on the bed next to Sirius, pulling him on top. More kisses were planted on his neck, and face, and shoulders, and back... as he began to slowly entered his body. Remus closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the mix of pain and pleasure. Sirius pulled his hips up and began thrusting a little bit faster. Remus should have guess that doggy style would be his thing. He almost laughed at the tought, but then, a hand was in his cock, moving up and down, with the perfect pressure, the perfect pace... he rested his hand on the wall to be able to stay steady, as Sirius thrust into a spot inside him that made him lose control. He came all over Sirius hand and his bed, as the other man continued to push inside him, moaning and clearly enjoying what he had induced in Remus. A couple of minutes later, Sirius came inside him, falling on top of him and biting on his shoulder.

After having cleaned themselves and the bed up, they covered themselves with the sheets and without saying anything, but smiling, both felt in a deep and comforting sleep.

Sirius woke Remus up with a kiss the next day, who opened his eyes to meet the sweetest of smiles, and those grey's eyes that had nothing to do with the eyes of the desperate man he had seen yesterday, just before...

"Good morning." Sirius said, still smiling at him.

"Morning." he said, sleepy. Sirius got up of the bed. "Where are you going?"

"I'm just going to the bathroom, don't miss too much." he laughed.

"Oh, bugger." said Remus turning his back to Sirius' side, feeling that, for a moment, he could have been the happiest man on earth.

Some minutes later, Sirius went back to bed, still naked.

"It's Halloween in a couple of days, you know?"

"Yes, I know Sirius. So what?"

"Gosh, you are such a bitter old man!" he hugged him from behind planting a sweet fast kiss on his neck.

"Am I?" Remus smiled, turning around to face Sirius.

"Yes. We should do something."

"I can dress up as a grumpy old man... Oh, no. Wait. I already am one."

"Har har har. How very funny."

"Actually... Sirius... I might have to leave for the day."

"Today?"

"No. On Halloween... I... you know. Order stuff and..."

"Oh, okay. It's okay." he looked down. "We might do something next year then, maybe?" he forced a smile.

"Are you sad?"

"No... I... it's only that... I really like having you like this and I don't want you going away from me now." Sirius said, making a gesture in between them and pulling him back again into an embrace.

Remus could not suppressed what he thought must have been the broadest smile he had ever managed.

* Three days later *

"... the bastard! Fooled us all. Just like the rest of his family was he!" Moody was screaming as they walked out of the cemetery after the ceremony in the Potter's honour.

"Lupin, would you care to join us for a drink?" someone asked.

"No... No, I really... I'm not feeling well. I need to go home now."

He started walking down the street. Not even hearing if anyone had bothered to say goodbye to him.

It all seemed surreal. He didn't understand how the whole thing had happened, how had he been so stupid. Somewhere, in his mind, his rational self was explaining him how all had been a trick. Sirius had played his part so well, he had taken it so far... only in four days he had made it all look so real... but the other part, his heart, if he truly had one, was asking stupid questions. Like, why was it even necessary to get involved with him if he didn't really want to? Even if he was a spy. Remus would have trusted him anyway... He always had.

He arrived to the flat where he had only been living for a week. It still smelled strongly of Sirius and had all of his stuff lying around.

Remus sat on the floor against the entrance door and started crying.