Hey so this is the first story of what I'm hoping will be a couple books:) I started posting the second book because I thought that it was going to be the first but then I decided that I wanted some back story for that book. (Look at me rambling again)

Anyway please Read Write and Review!

(Disclaimer. I do not own Alex Rider)

Jason Butch POV…

It wasn't my first battle, I had gone on many sense a very young age, all my training and all the exercises swirled around in my head. Telling me exactly what to do in a situation like this. But what I wasn't prepared to see was the kid, Alex Rider standing on a broken bridge with his hands rapped around the main targets throat. By all means the bridge should not have still been able to support them, but some miracle was holding it in place. They stayed there for a minute, swaying in the slight wind. Then there was gunfire and a man fell from the gun tower. I saw Razim take this chance and reach out for the gun lying a few feet away. Alex fell on top of him, pulling his hand and away from the gun in the process.

And then the bridge snapped, unable to take the shifting weight. I saw the large gap open up underneath them. I saw the slight hesitation on Alex's face. Should he keep hold of Razim and fall with him, or should he just save himself? At the last second Alex let go of Razim and fell backward where he managed to get himself twisted up in ropes hanging over the edge. It really was an expert move. It was then that I snapped out of my ! I criticized myself I was trained for things like this! I cant believe that I froze in the middle of a battle! I didn't see the what happened next. I was in what people at the SAS called battle mode because I didn't really see anything going on around me. My soul focus was the target, and in this case it was Alex Rider, the teen spy. I reached the bridge in a matter of seconds.

"Don't move, Alex!" I started crawling toward him. "Where coming to get you." I glanced down and saw Razim in a big salt pit. His eyes where completely wight and there was foam coming out of his mouth. He managed to grab one last breath as if it would help him, before sinking the rest of the way into the salt pit. There was a slight dent where he had been but then the salt poured into the hole, nothing was left to show what had happened to Razim. That wasn't something a teenager should have to see in real life. I had continued crawling toward Alex a while back and grabbed his arms starting to pull him up from the gap.

"We've got you!" I pulled him up and slowly carried him back to safety. Alex was devoid of all emotion, as if he didn't see what had just happened. I set him down on a bench near the very temporary camp we had set up until the reinforcements got here. I handed Alex a bottle of water. He didn't even acknowledge it.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He nodded but he looked anything but okay.

"Stay here. Its over now. We've radio'd Cairo. There on the way." I said. Knowing that the simplest most abrupt sentences where needed in this situation. I left, but ten minutes later Alex was gone. The whole place went into a fit looking for him.

It wasn't until at a long time that I finally found him outside the compound kneeling in front of a burnt out jeep. I approached quietly.

"Alex?" No response.

"Alex, we need to go back to camp," I said and put my hand on his shoulder. The response was immediate. He jumped up and twisted my hand off his shoulder putting it in a breaking position, he almost managed to snap it but I put up the defense for a tactic like that. Immediately he changed and I got a knee in the groin. I doubled over, surprised. I wasn't expecting Alex to react. Let alone like this. I looked up to see Alex standing ten feet away taking everything in. He stopped when he saw me. Recognition flashed in his eyes.

"Sorry," he said. I stood up.

"We have to get back to the base. You have everyone in a fuss because we couldn't find you. I radioed in that I found you but they need to see you." He nodded even though it seemed that he didn't hear me. Alex walked up to the blown up jeep and rested his hand on it. He stayed like that a minute, I was about to tell him that we needed to go when he spoke.

"Goodbye," he whispered. It was a simple word, a word many people used very frequently. But for some reason, when he said it. You could tell it meant a lot more then a simple goodbye. It held so much more then that. It was a word that I had used in the exact same way to many times to count.

Alex POV…

I don't remember much, it was all a blur after I got led back to the camp. I got there and they checked me for injuries, I got a lecture about running off without anyone and then I was told to sit down and wait until it was time for a proper debrief, I was assigned a person to simply 'help me if I needed anything' and given my bottle of water again before I was left alone with my 'Helper' I was fine with it though. Actually I preferred it, I just wanted some time alone to think, or rather, not to think. I didn't want to think about what had happened, about Jack, let alone talk about it especially if it was with Blunt. But hey, if your a spy working for MI6 then you don't get a choice. Ever. If they want you to go on a suicide mission then they'll find a way to blackmail you into going. I would know.

As it turned out Blunt and Ms Jones where flying over to India to meat with Mr. Bryn the head of the CIA and Ali Manzour the head of the Jihaz Am Al Daoula the Indian State security service. They all wanted to be in the same room when I gave them my report. They where still some ways away so I would be debriefed in three days. Three days of trying not to think about Jack and three days of wondering where the hell I would go now that my legal guardian was dead. That Jack was dead. I don't know how long I had been sitting there, nor do I care.

All the sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder, I jumped up and kneed him in the stomach knocking the wind out of him before I brought my fist around connecting with his jaw and effectively knocking him out. I automatically started looking around me for an exit, I was on the edge of some kind of military camp. But why was I in a military camp? There! I thought as my trained eyes picked up a possible escape rout. It was risky but it wasn't something that I've never done before. Suddenly someone grabbed me from behind, I whipped around connecting my elbow on the side of his head. He to fell to the ground, then there was three more people around me and more running toward me. Then I panicked, I seemed to zone out and if anyone asked me what had happened I wouldn't be able to tell them, because I couldn't remember.

I regained conscienceless seemingly hours later and I hurt like hell. I had multiple new cuts and bruises and my body ached all over. What the hell happened? I thought as I suppressed a groan. It was then that I felt something cold and hard around my wrists. They think that these would hold me? I smiled There wrong. I reached up into my sleeve and pulled out a lock pick that I always kept with me. I pulled out the ones I needed while I worked on the cuffs I opened my eyes a crack and looked around the room. It was a interrogating room, it had the simple mettle chairs in the middle of a white room with a silver bar going across a wall, I took all this in within sends before the cuffs snapped off. I sensed more then saw someone walking toward me to investigate, when he was about to look at the cuffs I jumped up and punched him in the jaw I didn't wait to see what had happened to him instead I ran out the door that He had come in.

I was not to say the least happy with what I saw. There was ten men standing there, all with guns leveled at me and I could here at least another fifteen running toward me. I immediately started looking for an exit, but besides running back into the white room there was none. I stood up strait but remained in a position where I could easily slip into a fighting stance and glared at them defiantly. No one spoke, it was as if they where waiting for something, or someone. Then, a minute and twenty three seconds later that someone arrived.

The soldiers with the guns parted slightly to let a man walk closer to me. To say I was shocked would be an understatement, Ben Daniels stopped five feet in front of me. My mind immediately focused on him. Why was he here? Where was here? Who was he with? Was he a double agent like Ash was? Did they want to kill me?

"Alex," I was ripped out of mu thoughts by Ben's voice.

"Whats going on?" I interrupted.

"Alex calm down, I don't know what happened to you, can you tell me how you got here?" He asked. I automatically started running through my memories, trying and failing to remember how I had gotten here. I was in a cell, Dr Grief just caught me. No. I had gotten away from that, I had won that battle. All it took was that, all of a sudden doubt was placed in my mind.

"Alex, Cub. Can you tell me who you where fighting? Can you tell me why?" I thought about it.

"Soldiers. I was fighting soldiers," I said confused.

"Why Alex?"

"They caught me."

"Why did they catch you? What did they want you for?" I paused, thinking.

"I don't know," now I was really confused. Why couldn't I remember? My stance dropped a little.

"Hey, Alex, Focus on me." I snapped out of my confusion and focused on Ben.

Alex, How long do you remember fighting the soldiers?"

"I was-" I paused, thinking. "I knocked a couple guys out. Then I was surrounded, I panicked but." I paused again, searching widely for the answer.

"Alex, calm down," I heard him say, but it seemed from a distance, like he was talking through a fog.

"Ben. Why can't I remember?" I looked up and I knew that some of the panic I felt shone in my eyes.

Alex, why did they capture you? Who where they working for?" He asked gently.

"Sayle," the name came out automatically. "No." I corrected myself.

"It was Damian Cray," I shook my head. "Dr. Grief?" there was uncertainty in my voice now. I had unconsciously leaned up against the wall and I was now pulling at my hair.

"Scorpia, they sent someone," I looked up, a little more certain. Maybe I was right, maybe I wasn't losing it.

"Alex." Ben said gently. "Do you remember Razim?" I froze. Everything came flooding back. The mission. The school. Razim. Julius Grief. Torture. Jack. Then I lost it, I slid off the wall and hugged my knees. Jack the name swirled around in my head continuously. Jack was dead because of me. Julius might have pressed the button but I had let her come. I had killed her.

Ben's Pov…

I watched as recognition flashed in his eyes when I said the name Razim. He had slid to the floor and curled into a ball. Some command came and the soldiers around me put away there guns and walked off to carry on with there jobs. I moved to put a hand on Alex's shoulder, maybe wake him up from whatever he was currently in, when a hand stopped me. It was Jason Butch, he had been the one to tell me what I had to do in order to get Alex out of the seemingly fake memories he was trapped in. Jason shook his head.

"Not yet, you need to give him a minute to calm down," I nodded.

"Okay," I paused. "What just happened?"

"Alex was in whats called a Karotin its where you completely forget extremely emotional events that just happened in the last couple of years. Its a way for the brain to sort of help young people deal with certain emotions. When you where young, have you ever experienced a moment where something very emotional happened but you seem to forget it happened or told yourself it was just a dream it would be okay?" I nodded.

"Well in the case that Alex had, it was caused by the threat of danger, or what he thought was danger at that moment. Usually it just lasts for a couple of seconds, minutes at most. But with Alex, he must have been through a lot in the past year and been trying to not think about it, there for in a way it had been both inviting the Karotin and pushing it away. But when someone touched his shoulder he thought for a second that he was in danger, therefor forcing him into a extreme case of Karotin." I nodded.

"Alright, is there any lasting effects?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes, It can later cause a series of visions and flashbacks triggered by things he might have seen or done in his past. It can also cause temporary and short memory lapses." I nodded again.

"Can we get him up now?"

"No need," I startled at the sound of Alex's voice. I turned around to see Alex standing up strait and looking at me. He still had that dead look in his eyes but at least he was standing up.

"Are you alright?" I asked. He nodded once.

"Lets bring you to a room." I started leading him away when Jason again spoke.

"Ben, after you have one Karotin it is more and more likely to have them more often and more severe."

"Is there anything we can do to stop them?" I shook his head.

"Not us. But he can." Jason said motioning to Alex.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that there is a way for Alex to make it harder for Karotin to take hold of him."

"How? Can he learn?" I asked. Jason nodded again.

"I can teach him."

"Good." Jason started walking away.

"Jason," I stopped him.

"How do you know so much about Karotin?" I asked.

He smiled sadly. "I was a teenager too, once." And with that, he was gone.

Alex Pov…

I had heard everything, what had happened, what Karotin was. And how I would most likely have it more often. But what surprised me was that Jason had had it as well. That I wasn't the only one. I made a mental note to myself to find out more about Jason, to know more about this Karotin and to make sure I didn't go into it anymore. For my safety, and for everyone around me.

So I made up Karotin for this book but if there's an actual thing that is what I described PLEASE tell me! Even if its just close. PLEASE!

So, Thoughts? What do you think? I like constructive criticism and encouragement both!

I'm not quite sure that I rated the story right and made the right category for it so if in a couple chapters and or now you could tell me what you think the correct rating and category would be that would be Awesome! I'm not sure Suspense is right. Anyway please just type what you think in that little box down there and there we go!

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