I am dedicating this fic to Ami-chan.  Why?  Because you wanted me to write something so badly! 

I know that you like 2x1 better but since I have a hard time writing from Heero's point of view and for plot reasons it more of a 1x2.  Sorry. 

Trapped

Have you even taken the time to step back from reality and look at your life?  Just to look at the way things are going for you.

Just to take the time and notice everything and think of all that could become.

I find myself doing that a lot. 

I think of the past, the blood filled past.  One haunted by the war and the many battles I have fought in.  I had to kill so many lives, lives that I now wish that I could bring back.  I had to watch so many of the people I love get killed or hurt.  Like Solo, and everyone at the Maxwell church, and Heero.

Yay, Heero.  I feel in love with him the first time I saw him.  I really did.  It saddens me deeply to see all the pain he was put through.

But he overcame it all in the end.  He did it all for me, or so he says.

He had the same feelings of love for me as I did him.  In other words he loved me too.

And this was the greatest moment of my life.  I felt so loved, and I enjoyed every moment of it.  Having someone who cares about you, it's the greatest feeling in the world.

Within a month we were already sleeping together.

Now that I think about it, we took things to fast.  It was too fast, I wasn't ready for that kind of relationship yet. 

One thing just lead to another, and.... it was all just to fast for me.

I didn't have the guts to day anything though.  I mean who would?  This is Heero, the perfect solider we're talking about!  You get in his way and you end up dead!  There was no way I was going to face him.

I realized something after awhile, that our relationship was only based on sex.  There was no love in it anymore.  I'm starting to wonder if there ever was any to begin with.   Maybe that feeling I had in the beginning, I had only mistaken it for love.

That had to be it, because there is no love in this relationship.

One thing is for sure, I can't stand it anymore. 

But what is there for me to do?

I can't just break up with him.  He wouldn't allow it, he would kill me if I did!

I guess my only chose is to die, or stay in this non-loving relationship. 

For awhile I decided that I would put up with this.  I decided to live with the way things where.  Trapped in this relationship.

Then Heero became more protective of me.  He forced me to move in with him, and would let me see any one, even our fellow Gundam pilots.    

That wasn't all he did.  He become more abusive, and the the amount of times we slept together increased drastically.

It was like I was his sex slave, against my will that is. 

I got the courage to confront him one night.  I told him that I didn't want to do this anymore, that I didn't want a relationship based on sex, that I wanted a relationship based on love, and that I wanted to leave him.

He beat me up rather badly, and locked me in a room with no light, no water, and not food for three days. 

It came to me then, there was only one way out of this.  My last resort, to take my life and end this torture.

That takes us to now, where I am sitting on Heero's bed, completely naked.  Heero is fast asleep, he fell asleep soon after he was done with me.  I just pretend to sleep until I knew he was.

I creep out of the bed, making sure that Heero doesn't wake up. 

Heero keeps this place locked up so good that even a master lock picker like me can't get out of here.

So I managed to hid a knife in here.  I'm surprised that Heero hasn't found it yet.

I go over to where it is hidden, in the bottom of his box of sex toys. 

I bring it over my left wrist, bringing it done and pushing it deep into my skin.   I go over it a few times; making sure it is bleeding good.  Then, I do the same to the right wrist. 

I place the blood stained knife on the ground on the floor, and sit on the bed besides Heero.

"Good night and good bye Heero."

~~End~~

I'M SORRY TO ANY ONE WHO REALLY LOVES HEERO!!!!!!!!!  I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE HIM THAT EVIL!!!! I SWEAR IT!!!!!!!!!  I got a little overboard while writing this.  I was really depressed and I took it out on Duo, but at the same time I made Heero really evil.  

Ami-chan, there you have your fic!  It's nice and dark and I made Duo kill himself!  I'm so proud!